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YaReally Archive

Off The Grid Game

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via Heartiste

on June 28, 2013 at 3:17 pm
Original Link

As someone who has deactivated their fb 18 months ago. It’s been way better. I hated the feeling id get when my feed was littered with people I could care less about and subconsciously I was measuring my own worth based upon what their FB was displaying (damn you, ego). Having an ex-gf I was trying to get over really made things easier when I shut my FB down.

All of Heartistes response are good. The one I use is a bit dismissive but spiked with a DHV.

“Yeah, I don’t have an FB anymore, too many stalkers.”

I have yet to stack a routine off that but I think it works fine.

Or you could try this (stolen from YaReally)

“add me 2 Facebook!! <3 <3"
"I don't use FB"
"lol y not?"
"Because I'm not a 12 year old girl."

Btw, is incredible. Nice work Lumpy and many thanks for doing that.

  • YaReally
    on June 29, 2013 at 9:22 am
    Original Link

    Ya, I’m basically using #3 on CH’s list of ridiculing it. But the tone of voice I use is like it’s the stupidest idea in the world to me.

    “Why don’t you have Facebook?”
    “Because I’m a 30yo fucking MAN.”

    The mindset I’m projecting is that it would be gay if I DID use Facebook, a 30+ man checking his Likes and updating his status and tweeting and taking Instagram photos, like THAT’S fucking lame lol. I’m too busy doing shit and accomplishing shit with my life to give a fuck about getting a validation fix off social media etc because I’m secure and confident.

    And I project that all just with my tone of voice. So she ends up almost embarrassed that she HAS Facebook lol. “No that’s fine, you’re a young chick, where else are you going to post all your selfies? lol”

    The reality is I totally have Facebook lol but I rarely ever use it (once a month I check it out but I don’t post anything ever) and it says I’m in a relationship with my Primary GF and that looks sketchy to new girls. I can let them know I have a GF and it’ll be fine but I do it face to face and there’s a whole conversation and reframe and groundwork to lay down etc…whereas if they snoop my Facebook and see that they just assume the worst.

    Also because I’m older, if I’m weak about it and am like “umm no I uhh don’t have Facebook…”, they assume I’m hiding that I have a wife and 3 kids lol. Because guys DO that and girls get duped by it or have friends who’ve been duped by it and then are suspicious. So then I’m working from a value deficit and they might not even TELL me about their suspicions and instead just flake on me.

    So that’s why I’m super assertive with how I say it, so it’s like I don’t come across as the kind of guy who would HAVE to hide having a wife and kids. Like I always quote from the Joker: “Nobody panics when things go “according to plan”, even if the plan is horrifying.”

    Also I say “I don’t USE Facebook” not “I don’t HAVE Facebook” so technically I’m not lying lol. And if she harps on it I’ll use exaggeration and say stuff like “maybe I SHOULD start using it so I can stay up all night rubbing one out to your pics like a fucking creeper. Now shush, let’s go dance. (pull to dance floor and escalate)”

    You actually get a lot of points with the girls who like older men because this all sounds very alpha badass to her. Like Justin Beiber uses twitter because he’s a pussy, Sean Connery’s James Bond isn’t using twitter, the Bad Boy with the leather jacket and motorcycle isn’t using twitter…so it plays into their fantasy of older men.

    I told a buddy who’s almost 30 and nervous about his age with girls but has a baby face: “do or do not, pick one or the other and run with it. Either avoid saying your age and lie about it and pretend to be 24 because you can pull that off, or go the other way and own being an older man, grow a little facial scruff and dress older etc…but don’t be wishy-washy in the middle. Pick one and own it.”

on June 28, 2013 at 5:31 pm
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There was a summer where I never brought my phone into the bar. Used to get tons of numbers on cocktail napkins. Something about it’s old schoolness would turn chicks on hard. Plus when I would inevitably get grilled for not having a phone, it was the perfect opportunity to use similar lines as the original post.

  • YaReally
    on June 29, 2013 at 8:46 am
    Original Link

    “There was a summer where I never brought my phone into the bar.”

    I recommend this for guys who are having trouble approaching and find themselves trying to procrastinate by “checking their phone” and pretending to txt etc because they’re feeling chickenshit/nervous. Just don’t bring your phone out for a few weekends…you won’t have that crutch to fall back on and it’s basically “shit I have to either approach or stand here like a tool, I guess I’ll approach!”

    If you combine leaving your phone at home with going out solo, it’s a double-whammy because now you don’t have a phone to pretend to be txting AND you don’t have friends to spend your night talking to to avoid approaching…so you HAVE to approach.

    Try it, if you’re in that stage where you’re going out to the bar but too inside your head to actually cold approach.

  • YaReally
    on June 29, 2013 at 9:01 am
    Original Link

    (this is a reply to my reply to this, so it’ll make more sense once that passes moderation):

    ALSO, if you want a triple whammy that will force you to approach, don’t bring a phone out, go out solo, AND don’t bring any money or cards to the bar. Now you can’t avoid approaching by pretending to txt, or by staying with your social circle all night, OR by drinking…so literally the only thing for you to do at the bar is talk to people. It’s a Viking style burn-the-boats deal, no excuses no retreat. Again, try it if you’re stuck making excuses not to approach and just going out and getting shit-faced wasted with friends every weekend instead of actually productively working on your game.

    Two things: 1) be careful if you don’t have a phone, if you get into a sticky/trouble situ you’ll have to be more resourceful to get out of it because you can’t txt for help or for a buddy to pick you up at some girl’s place on the other side of the city in the morning…but that teaches you self-reliance anyway so it’s not a bad thing

    and 2) if you do no money no cards, just bring a $20 so you can afford a cab. And if you have to spend that $20, like on a cab to a girl’s place if you leave with a chick, then again you’ll have to be resourceful and learn to be self-reliant and figure out how to frame control her into paying for the cab or giving you a ride home etc lol. I used to chat up fat chicks at 2am for a ride home just because I didn’t bring cab fare out lol

    Worst-case, remember: if you leave your cards at home, you can get in a cab and just when you pull up to your place tell him “hey I have to get my credit card from inside, I’ll leave my drivers license with you and be back in 2 minutes with my card to pay”…what’re the cabbies options? He can’t kick you out cause you’re already at your house, and if you were friendly and chatty and funny in the cab ride (so this forces you to be social even with the cabbie), he’ll trust you. Just be respectful about it and even tell him “if I bring my cards out I drink too much and I’m trying to kick the habit…otherwise I’d have an ugly girl in here with me and you’d be like “o man that guy needs to stop drinking” lol”

    Consider going out with no phone, no friends, and no money like being dropped in the woods Bear Grylls style with no tools or equipment and nothing but your instincts and your social skills to help you survive the night. You’ll learn a lot about yourself. :)

on June 28, 2013 at 9:32 pm
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Facebook and being on it is not such a strange thing for girls.

But on OK Cupid, I don’t have a photo. When online game girls and they hook, they always ask “Why don’t you have a profile photo.

Me: I’m very famous, so I like to keep a low profile.

Generally that works. It also leads to intrigue and they exchange numbers and i have a photo on my whatsapp.

If they don’t hook, no big loss.

“I”m famous and like to keep a low profile”

They always say “Oh, how famous are you?”

What are you famous for?


Great lines to continue gaming.

on June 28, 2013 at 10:12 pm
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It’s complicated…..

  • walawala
    on June 29, 2013 at 1:01 pm
    Original Link

    “It’s complicated” only works for questions about relationships or past girlfriends etc.

    “It’s complicated” in response to “Why aren’t you on FB?” sounds weird—like a line not a game-inspired response.

    I think many of the posts here offer “tools”…you have to use the right tool in your toolbox.

    Yah, sure, you can use a hammer to open a beer bottle, but if you don’t use it right, you’ll break the end off it and it will explode….

    I think the same goes with gaming chicks….use the right line or tone in the right circumstance and it works….

    Or Pause…


    It’s never perfect and takes trial and error.

    • YaReally
      on June 30, 2013 at 8:41 am
      Original Link

      This. Fuckin aspies & jockeys cramming round square pegs into round holes and imagining a fantasy world in their head where they’re bosses who could slay pussy if, y’know, they really WANTED to.

      Every guy has two delusions: 1) if he HAD to, if the chips were down and he had to protect his loved ones, he could totally win a fight despite never having thrown a punch in his life, and 2) if he wanted to, he could totally pull all those hot “drunk club sluts who will fuck anyone” lol

      • YaReally
        on June 30, 2013 at 8:42 am
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        Minus one of those “rounds” whoops lol

on June 28, 2013 at 11:41 pm
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CH…looking for advice and I believe your the best man for the job.

I’m currently sleeping with a girl who happens to have a very popular/somewhat famous mother, at least in my neck of the woods. My girl is involved in the entertainment industry (in a behind-the-scenes sort of way) so she’s out and about very often attending events, red carpet, you name it.

My profession is slightly more conservative than hers, but I believe that I am Alpha 90% of the time when i’m with her. I dictate the terms of the relationship. She willingly accepts.

Now my problem is, she’s been asking me to go to a bunch of these events with her. It’s not so much of an issue despite me being the more private type, however I’d rather not go and stand around looking jobless, twiddling my thumbs while “she works the room”, so to speak.These events are filled with hot women, so I can always find someone to run game on while she’s away doing all this. But that just make’s it sound simple.These kinda of events have a way of making you feel like fish out of water, and if you are a nobody, you are more likely to be ignored. I just feel like it would take the sheen off my Alpha, no matter how solid it has been so far with her.Celebrities talking down to you while they’re busy flirting with your girl will do that.

So how do I play it? I like the girl, and she’s doing fine so far in terms of what i seek in a LTR. But her professional world and mine don’t really mix. We get along great with each others friends and families (sisters, cousins, not parents, she hasn’t met mine yet), and we have a lot in common. She knows about my player ways as she witnessed me pick up one of her friends before we ever hooked up.

Do I occasionally attend these events and play it cool and chill in the background, flirt with the hottest girl close by, making sure my girl sees this? Or do I avoid going all together except for the major ones where she would need my support and chances of her leaving my side are very tiny?

Your wisdom is very needed.

P.S – You need to do a post on Mr.Big from Sex and the City and Don Draper…Both are alpha and close to realistic

  • YaReally
    on June 30, 2013 at 9:21 am
    Original Link

    It’s all in your head. You’ll feel judged because you don’t feel like you belong there, and people will judge you because “what you feel, they feel”. They’ll pick up on your insecure vibe their brain goes “huh, I didn’t really have an opinion about this guy either way, he seemed like a nice enough dude and he’s with this high value girl so he must be cool…but he’s giving off the vibe like he’s expecting to be judged, so I guess he must know something I don’t that would make him deserve to be judged, so I guess I’ll judge him.”

    Remember: the fact that you’re AT the event means you’re high value, by default. Everyone at a red carpet event is high value there, so it all cancels out and comes down to personality and social skills. The guy who’s a billionaire CEO isn’t looking down on the guy who’s a semi-famous actor and neither of them are looking down on the old married socially connected guy there with his wife…the fact that you got thru the door with a personal invite from your awesome high value date means you are as high value as any of them even if you’re a janitor.

    If you don’t want to talk about work, lead the conversation elsewhere. If a chick is like “What do you do?” Just go “Oh god, please, I don’t want to talk about work tonight. Tell me something interesting about yourself that isn’t job related…have you ever (blah)?”

    “Oh, I work in the stuffy boring corporate world. I’ve been pushing papers all week watching my soul slowly die and my girl was like “come out to this event with me” so I figured ya, why not I’ve never been to one of these before. Everyone is all done up and friendly, it’s awesome. :)

    If you’re a janitor, be proud and enthusiastic about it if it comes up. And give other people sincere props for their accomplishments/jobs instead of resenting them. Spread value, good emotions, etc. and act as if you expect people to be friendly and they’ll “feel what you feel” and reciprocate.

    Again it is 100% in your head. You’re letting the venue/crowd/etc overwhelm and intimidate you, the same way a guy will treat a 10 like she’s a goddess instead of just treating her normal like he’d treat a 6.

    I can say all this stuff that sounds like flowery bullshit because I am constantly partying in high-value environments with people who have shit-tons of money, status, minor celebrity fame at times, driving ferraris, individual guys buying rounds of literally 20-50 shots for their group at a time, girls hoping to land a 6-packed rich doctor etc and objectively I COMPLETELY don’t belong there lol. I have no money, car, suit, I literally have one “going out” outfit that I wear all the time (no one notices or cares), can’t afford to drink much etc.

    But I can hold my own with the crowd and everyone assumes I’m as high value as the rest of them because I view myself that way and I don’t expect them to judge me.

    Sure, some of them are douches who try to tool me, but I just kill them with kindness until they feel dumb for trying to tool such a nice/cool/chill dude and then we’re BFFs. It’s not even in my reality that a guy could tool me and make me feel bad lol that’s insane, why would some random dude have that kind of influence on my mood/state, you know?

    The secret to these enviros is that it’s all an illusion. Eeeeeeeveryone there is full of shit and putting up a fake “front” persona/facade to try to impress eachother. Most of those people don’t act that way when they’re like, with their family opening Xmas presents or with their childhood best buddies having a beer and watching a football game. The environment intimidates them, so they try to put on a front to seem like they belong there.

    What I do is try to break thru that fakeness right away…usually by either saying something self-depreciating (admitting my own flaws first so they realize “oh it’s okay to be my normal flawed self around this guy he won’t judge me”, so I might say something like “oh ya I’ve never been to one of these things before…I feel so out of place lol my girl loves it but you guys are all a little intimidating to me. I spend my week in the super conservative corporate world, and everyone here is so chill and fun. Is everyone nervous the first time they come to a red carpet event or is it just me? What was your first time like?”) or really offensive where I’m shitting on the notion that we all have to act polite and unnatural (so something like they ask “how’s it going?” “Not bad, aside from being sober. But I’m working on that…a couple more drinks and even the ugly people will be pretty. :D I joke about it now, but when I barf on your shoes later as they throw me out for dancing with my shirt off on the tables, I won’t be offended when you pretend not to know me. Hi, my name is YaReally. :) ”). Like do you think if I was a janitor, and said these things, that anyone would give a fuck or not laugh or think I’m interesting? Nah, I’m more than my job.

    These kinds things break thru the pretentiousness and make the people feel like “oh, this person is like my drinking buddy who’s just himself around me and I can be myself around him, he’s not playing the “who has more value” game…thank god I can relax now!!” It actually builds connections/bonds REALLY fast/deep because its not something these people run into in that environment.

    Last tip: call out the environment to people you’re talking to if they seem like cool friendly people warming up to you. Like “you know at first I was pretty intimidated coming here because I’ve never really been in this scene before…I’m more of a pint of beer at the local pub kind of guy and at first I was worried that people here would be kind of pretentious and like everyone is judging eachother……but you know, I’ve found as I’ve been chatting with people that everyone is really pretty cool when you get to know them. There are a couple cheesy people here who’ve let it all go to their heads but I’m finding that we all KNOW exactly which people here are those types lol and the rest of us are just having fun and getting to know eachother…it’s really not as scary as I thought it’d be. Were you nervous the first time you came to a red carpet event like this?” Again it’s that “sharing your own fear so they can relax and share theirs” and also giving them the role of “i think you’re one of the cool friendly people” so they try to live up to that role and be cool/friendly.

    Good luck. Learn to work the events, I’m sure they’re fun and you’d meet some cool people…and your girl would love if her date was this badass alpha who, despite not belonging to her “world”, can dominate it and hold his own in it but still be her break from it all when you go home together because you’re a “normal” guy. Like how high-value is THAT shit?

    Good luck dude! If you go to an event, post about how it went.

    • YaReally
      on June 30, 2013 at 9:35 am
      Original Link

      Also don’t go to ALL the events, you’re not her arm-candy ready at her beck n call to be paraded around…but go to one here and there and have fun. If you go to all of her events she’ll take it for granted…go to one a month and it’ll be like “omg!! He’s coming tonight!! Yayyy!!! Hey everyone look its my man, he came out tonight come meet him!!”

      Also tell her to just make sure she knows to introduce you when you’re with her and people stop her to talk. ie – she needs to know that the first words out of her mouth are “oh hi, this is my boyfriend Blah, Blah this is Such and Such.” Even if she runs into a blabby type who just starts rattling off about something, she has to know that is her job as your girl to interrupt them and introduce you so you’re a part of the conversation. Even if you don’t say anything and it’s just some business person catching up on something between them, you should be intro’ed so you’re “in” the conversation.

      I wouldn’t bring this up seriously/sternly before you go, just toss it out there jokingly like “ya I’ll go, it’ll be fun. And I know you’ll have to run around and do your thing, and that’s cool, you know I can hold my own…just make sure you introduce me to the people we talk to so I’m not stuck being the random guy nobody realizes is actually your date and not just your hired man-candy for the night ;) lol”

      Then if you go and she doesn’t introduce you and you DO get stuck being the 3rd wheel to group conversations, you can lay down the law stricter afterward or before the next event etc and be more authoritative about what behavior you expect from her if she wants you to go to another event…but don’t do that unless you have to and don’t do it beforehand or it’s butthurt and insecure.

the latent sadist
on June 28, 2013 at 11:45 pm
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your facebook is useless unless its a dhv. Its astonishing how many guys i see writing status updates like “who wants to chill?” “So bored right now” or taking self shots with their phone. You might as well hold a neon CELIBATE sign over your head. It can grease the wheels, and has been a boon for me. Got my music (i write it) up there and good pics. Never post status updates, and comment irregularly and infrequently on other peoples stuff if youre inclined to. But never like or comment on a girls photos, No matter how witty or clever you think you are, the mere act of engaging a girl on facebook by liking or commenting throws you into chump orbiter status.

fb chat can be useful after having built attraction/rapport.,..ive gotten lays like this ala krauser. ive found the medium prompts women to invest more…probably because the format encourages longer sentences.

  • Cad and Bounder
    on June 29, 2013 at 12:21 pm
    Original Link

    ‘your facebook is useless’

    You could have stopped there.

    There is no way to DHV with it. Remember that chicks are using it (at least in their mind) to DHV and they will not buy anything that you are selling on it. Instead they will assume it is an effort to get validation in a ways as desperate and vapid as theirs is. All they will do is relentlessly game the interaction in order to groom you into becoming a beta orbiter.

    It is all very well to kid ourselves that we are merely building on existing attraction but you will also run the risk of wasting time and being hopelessly tooled in the process.

    • Mauve
      on June 30, 2013 at 2:22 am
      Original Link

      You can DHV with, you just need not to do it like chicks do (fake status updates, and compliment fishing).

      During your holidays somebody took a picture of you having fun on a waverunner? Post it. You have a picture of you on your motorcycle, post it.
      You play piano like a god? Post a video. You’re a racing driver? Make someone take a few pictures of you racing, or on the podium if you can. Etc.

      They won’t buy fake written status, since they write them all the time. But anything you’re good at, or that shows a good lifestyle will work, so take pictures.

      • Cad and Bounder
        on June 30, 2013 at 6:31 am
        Original Link

        Do you see what you are doing here?

        All of these DHV things can be shown/discussed with her on as date as a hamster spin inducing prelude to putting your cock in her pussy. The more pics/info you put up (even if you think it DHVs) then the more ‘reason’ she has to use FB to research in her safe little world of value filtering. Its a bit like flipping a coin, winning and then deciding to give her the home field advantage.

        Remember what the great David Hume told us…

        “The rules of morality, therefore, are not conclusions of our reason.”

        …now he understood how it works! No one is going to ‘reason’ a chick into bed by DHVing on FB.

        The point about FB/social media is that it is overwhelming them with the perception of choice. And when this happens they cant make a ‘buying’ decision.

        Help them. Help them to help you to help them. Don’t give them the choice. No FB, no value filtering, no endless chats, no ‘long game’ bullshit. It’s number…date…DHV…hamster….sex. We are doing them a favour because if we don’t do these things, they might not get laid so much.

        • YaReally
          on June 30, 2013 at 9:41 am
          Original Link

          One of my buddies has 300+ pics up, of him doing all sorts of cool adventurous social shit.

          The catch? All but two of those pics are posted by OTHER people who’ve just tagged him in them with comments about him attached (jokes/burns from his buddies, flirting from girls, occasionally he’ll leave a comment teasing a girl or being self-depreciating)…the only two pics HE’S put up is a pic of himself as a baby and a pic of him making an ugly face.

          THAT’S how to be high value on FB lol

          • YaReally
            on June 30, 2013 at 10:33 am
            Original Link

            Also another buddy’s FB is alllllll pics of him with hot girls. Like shitloads and he’s always posed with the girls groping him and having fun with him and basically making him look awesome. And he’s an ugly guy lol. But he’s fun and his FB Wall is allllll chicks demanding they have lunch together or party together or “miss you babe xoxo” or his buddies making partying plans for the weekend excited for him to come out or him teasing girls who respond to his status updates etc.

            Massively high value FB profile when girls who meet him see it. He purposely goes for the FB contact instead of getting a # because he knows his FB makes chicks intrigued and impressed.

            The key in both this guy and the 300+ pic guy is that in both cases it’s OTHER people raising their value, not THEM. In theory if you were a lame boring guy and wanted to recreate this value you could make a bunch of fake FB accounts and post on your own Wall pretending to be hot girls and shit but 1) that is so retardedly gay and sad that I would kick you in the nuts for doing it, and 2) you should be striving to become the kind of guy where that IS how your social life is…so go out and approach and socialize and apply game and make friends and flirt with girls until you ARE like these guys. Then your FB will get you laid but you could delete it and still get laid.

Young Journeyman
on June 29, 2013 at 12:17 am
Original Link

Some game analysis on bieber?

  • YaReally
    on June 30, 2013 at 9:58 am
    Original Link

    As gay as that was (whatever, I laughed lol), there’s something to take away from that clip:

    If you are high value to a girl you can get away with anything. She will rationalize away any of your flaws and even turn them into assets in her mind, if you’re high-value/attractive to her. Your ugly face becomes “his face has character”. Your tiny penis becomes “I’m so glad it doesn’t hit my cervix and hurt!” Your shitty non-paying art job becomes “he’s such a passionate artist who doesn’t chase the corporate rat race like those lame iBanker guys!” Your iBanker job becomes “he’s so focused and driven in life! Not like those bums who don’t value hard work.” Your ugly-ass tattoo Kimmel shows girls on the street becomes “creative” etc.

    Tyler makes a good point in this vid that if a girl is attracted to you, she doesn’t WANT to see you as flawed…it’s in her best interest sub-consciously to highlight your good aspects and rationalize away your flaws so she can get off when you fuck her and she can rationalize being attracted to you lol. If you fuck a fatty you don’t think about her sweaty fat rolls, you think about “oh she’s good at giving head and she has a nice face”.

    If she breaks up with you then ya now you’re a jobless bum to her who’s ugly with a tiny penis and she’ll say she hated all those things but that’s just because she isn’t attracted anymore.

    Also there’s in-field of him pulling a girl in the first 2 min of this vid lol:

    In one of his oldest seminars Tyler says something like: “I can call a girl at 3 in the morning and she won’t be mad at me. Why? It just comes down to higher value. If Angelina Jolie (or whatever celebrity you love) woke you up with a phone call at 3am are you going to be like “pffft!! That’s it Angelina Jolie, we’re through!!” No. Because she has higher value.”

    None of your insecurities actually matter. It’s all in your head.

on June 30, 2013 at 1:43 am
Original Link

off topic, slightly. feedback would be appreciated:

Met the girl first time in a bar. Friend of my friends ex. solid 9. Talked a while, left for after a while. Thought to see her again / would contact her through my friend. Later that evening, she walked past, going home. I first decided not to do anything, but then I thought “lets train recovering from a mistake” and ran after her, which obviously is the mistake.

me: stop, you ain’t going to be let to go that easy
HB: what?
me: no HB can walk around for here without me really talking to them
HB: hah ok.

she was going home, so I was asking where is that so on so on. question mode.

at the end (maybe 5 mins altogether) I went for the number

me: gimme your number
HB: no, I do not give my number to anybody its a rule.
me: you joking?
HB: no, one person would be very angry if I would give it
me: I thought you said you are single?
HB: I am
me: who is it then? your mom? *smirk*
HB: no, I just do not give out my number
me: what are you doing here then? (fucked this up, wanted to be more negative: “how do you get lotsa cockas then”, thanks GBFM)
HB: well.. (I stopped her here)
me: look, whats the meaning of life?
HB: so its either phone number or meaning of life?
me: yes
HB: well.. its to have fun
me: so now, how you going to have fun if you have rules like that
HB: …..
me: ok. I’ll tell you this: if you give me any way of communicating, you will be love yourself of doing that 3 years from now. because you cannot, and I mean cannot, find better guy with better life CV than me. (I am not sure of this part)
HB: you have pretty high self-confidence
me: how can _I_not_ have? (really asking here)
HB: hmm.. thats true.
HB: ok, (my friends name) knows my name and details, you can contact me in fb

and she walked off. I said nothing, took 3secs and walked in different direction. Out of corner of my eye, I see her glancing quickly in my direction for a last time, from approx. 15m away.

I felt the end of this conversation was quite weird. What do people here think about it? how’bout the whole thing? not my best set, but reasonable imho.

anyways, no this thing might go to texting / messages. I really suck at that, while I think my “talk” is little bit better. Need to work on it.

  • YaReally
    on June 30, 2013 at 10:23 am
    Original Link

    You actually did okay. You were congruent and confident and plowed thru her silly rule. At first you were too logical (“change her mood, not her mind”) but the meaning of life stuff switched gears in a good way.

    End result is she bent her rule for you, technically, by giving you the okay to grab her contact info from her friend, but she’s still trying to put you in the “you chasing her” frame with FB.

    From here what I would do is not contact her at all and just talk to her in person next time you see her whether its this trip or your next visit, and be awesome around her and act normal and flirty and if she asks why you never facebooked her say you don’t use it or you don’t want to spend all your free time Like-ing her pics and jacking off to them, so this time gimme your number dummy lol.

    Realistically, you’re probably not going to gain much ground if you add her to FB. Like what are you going to do, add her and ask her to dinner? She’ll just add you to her list of orbiters that all beg for a few minutes of her time. You have more important shit to do, and other girls to talk to who don’t make it so much work. You’re not likely to bang her via FB…MAAAAAYBE if you were SUPER aggressive about it but she’s not going to check her FB messages when she’s horny and attracted to you, she’s going to do it when she’s taking a shit and tired and probably not going to be into it lol

    To seal it, the next time you see her, even if it’s weeks from now on your next visit, after you’ve built some attraction back up so she’s in a good mood and into you, I would build some comfort with a speech I use a lot that goes something like “look, I know you have rules about giving out your number, and that’s cool I respect that. It means you’re not just a random drunk bar star chick that hands her number out to any guy who asks…you actually have standards on who you spend your time on. I get it because I’m the same way…I know I seem like just a flirt, but I’m picky about which girls I spend time on, and I can tell that you’re worth my time. Now you don’t have to give me your number, but don’t think that means I’ll give up. ;) ” and then go back to just being normal and fun and flirty with her…usually this move results in her actively giving you her number, like on her way out going “here.” and slipping it to you on a napkin or whatever and walking off before you can react because she hates to admit that you’ve “won” lol

    It’s like a ballsy little speech that shows persistence but also that you respect her shit but also that you’re completely self-aware of the dynamics going on and who she is as a person and demonstrating that you’re both higher value than the rest of the people who just get drunk and bang eachother with no self-standards.

    Anyway, don’t know if this makes sense I’m tired as fuck but hope you get the jist and it works out. I would put her on the slow track in my mind and literally be telling myself that I’m NOT going to get to fuck her this visit, that it’ll be next visit or the one after that etc. and focus on other girls in the meantime.

on June 30, 2013 at 1:28 pm
Original Link

YaReally, escalated physically last night and got a couple of numbers. Met a professional pua who pushed me to adhere to the 3-second rule. I was literally on fire (had super awesome night). I mostly danced and shot the shit with girls… honestly, remembering the night now, I didn’t get any shittests… I was super physical and grinded a lot, but I pulled back and let them come to me. The Pua dude told me what to say to open and then I took it from there. I approached this girl at the bar of the club, I leaned back against the bar and opened her. Made it look like she was hitting on me. Did some marriage role-playing, introed me to her friends. Actually one of her friends thought I was being rough with her but she told the friend that I was only trying to move her so the dude could get to the bar (which was true). She seemed into me, joked about getting married, traveling and having babies with each other lol. We then had a small heart to heart (so I’m not just jokey with her).

Club numbers are generally flakey, no? So I dunno, how should I play this/text so we can meet up? I have another number I can practice with so, yeah, wondering your thoughts on this. I think getting makeouts was the original goal, but I kinda wanna try Day 2′s now. The girl was actually on her way out so I couldn’t have had sex with her. The other one I got the number from though, I kinda just left for no reason… honestly i guess I could’ve had sex with her that night, but I was so happy I found a pua in my city who’s willing to help me that I kinda wanted to learn more stuff from him lol. Not to suck his dick or anything, but it was like magic. I went from being scared to talk to any girls to freaking grinding/dancing with every girl I wanted to meet lol. We were the life of the party and there were SO many dudes just standing there like robots. Wallflowers. Whatever.

Got rejected a few times too but it was fun!

Going out again on Tuesday night to bars so any other tips are appreciated.

I’d also like to point out that I was probably the worst dressed dude in the entire club (gym shoes, plain shirt, khaki’s) so yeah… kinda surprised how well everything went lol

Also, I’m kind of trying to keep convo details sparse cuz like i’ve read before, it’d be weird to have the exact convo from the night before show up on some blog (especially if there’s a chance I’ll see her again). Am I overthinking this?

  • YaReally
    on July 2, 2013 at 4:19 pm
    Original Link


    “YaReally, escalated physically last night and got a couple of numbers.”

    Props! Getting used to escalating physically is one of the scarier milestones.

    “Met a professional pua who pushed me to adhere to the 3-second rule.”

    Lol, lucky opportunity there. The 3-Second Rule exists for a reason, it does a lot of good things that help get your night going.

    “remembering the night now, I didn’t get any shittests”

    A nuance to shit-tests is that they generally come when the girl is determining how congruent you are to who you seem to be. ie – if either there’s something “off” about your vibe (like you’re faking it till you make it) or if she’s insecure/suspicious and just needs re-enforcement that you are (or STILL are, in the case of longer-term relationships) the guy she’s attracted to.

    So the newbie approaching with an indirect opener but who’s clearly “up to something” gets shit-tested hard because she knows something is up and is exposing him so she can be not attracted to him and not end up having sex with a faker. Whereas the entitled Natural who’s been good with women since he was young and is 100% congruent when he approaches, even approaching direct, probably won’t get shit-tested because she can tell “he is absolutely to the core the guy he seems to be”…or she may just shit-test him a couple times, juuuuust to make sure, but he passes those and she’s happy. Same time a wife might continuously shit-test her hubby because she wants to make sure she’s still attracted to the same badass alpha she married…and then if he lets himself get beta’ized over time, he starts failing those shit-tests and she falls out of attraction. When I get shit-tested for saying offensive things, it’s because she wants to see if I’m just drunk or full of bravado or going to apologize for offending her, or if I’m actually a guy who says things like that and totally expects to get away with it because I’m used to girls liking me and the things I say.

    Part of why passing a shit-test sparks attraction isn’t that the words you say attract her, or that passing a shit-test is in itself somehow attractive, or that zinging her with a good comeback builds attraction…the reason it sparks attraction is that it demonstrates to her “I am congruent and you can trust me to be who you think/hope I am”, so she can be attracted and want to fuck you, because she has that assurance that she isn’t fucking some lame guy.

    That’s why a beta who’s learning Game can fake it till he makes it and learn how to pass the most common shit-tests and despite being an AFC deep down, he can still bed the chick, because he passed the shit-tests she threw at him and she registers him as who he’s faking being…and this is also why those guys tend to lose the girl when she spends any significant amount of time with him, because he only learned to pass a few common shit-tets, but he hasn’t internalized the concept itself or the mentalities that allow him to naturally pass those tests.

    You were probably in a great state from approaching a bunch, and letting loose and being physical instead of holding back, so you’re basically unashamedly going for what you want…aligned in your thoughts, words, and actions. So no need to shit-test you. You may also have gotten light shit-tests that you didn’t even register as shit-tests because of the state you were in. Like when I get shit-tested (because my strategy involves actively goading the girl into shit-testing me, as I’ve explained before), to me it’s just her flirting, and actually makes me MORE interested because I’m like “ooo, a feisty one, I like it! :D ” and I stomp through her shit-test.

    “I was super physical and grinded a lot, but I pulled back and let them come to me.”

    Good. This goes with the stuff I was talking about before, about being more sexual…show you *CAN* cross the line, that you aren’t afraid to get in her personal space or touch her or talk about sexual topics, but then pull back and be normal. Once you’ve done that, you’ve separated yourself from the friend zone guys who talk to her like a “friend to a friend” or “girlfriend to a girlfriend”, and you’ve set up a “man to woman” frame. But stay across that line too long and you come across desperate/horny/low-standards because it’s as if you’re scared that if you cross back away from the line you may never get there again…whereas a sexual guy knows he can tap-dance back and forth over that line whenever he wants.

    This is a BIG part of my style of game.

    “Made it look like she was hitting on me.”

    Good stuff. Classic lock-in. Two solid benefits from it are that the rest of the girls in the bar think she’s hitting on you and SHE starts to think she’s hitting on you because she’s behaving in a way that she would be behaving if she were hitting on you so her brain is like “well whenever I do this it’s because I like a guy, and I’m doing it, so I must like this guy!”. It’s like a backwards rationalization deal.

    “Did some marriage role-playing, introed me to her friends. Actually one of her friends thought I was being rough with her but she told the friend that I was only trying to move her so the dude could get to the bar (which was true). She seemed into me, joked about getting married, traveling and having babies with each other lol. We then had a small heart to heart (so I’m not just jokey with her).”

    All beautifully executed on your part. Textbook pickup right here. Lots of iois from her (like defending you to her cockblocking friend) and good calibration on your end to pull back to have a heart to heart. It would surprise me a lot if she didn’t txt you back.

    “Club numbers are generally flakey, no?”

    Nah. That’s what guys running lose/shallow game say, because they’re skipping a lot of the deeper concepts of game and just going off “I got her to smile and laugh for 30 seconds and then make out and got her number, so of course she’ll txt me back!” and it’s like no, you forgot about rapport and you triggered her ASD and didn’t qualify her or make her invest etc. etc.

    If you run really solid game and cover all the bases, club numbers are as solid as any other number (unless you’re hitting on a hammered chick who literally won’t remember you the next day in her blurry hangover memories lol). The reason newbies go through the “I came out of there with 20 phone numbers but they all flaked wtf?!?” phase is because that’s the phase where they’ve just started going for the number more aggressively and they haven’t gotten into the deeper stuff that solidifies those numbers because they’re riding the “I have superpowers!!” high of being able to get a # in 30 seconds.

    After they get frustrated enough with all the flaking they post complaining about it and we tell them congrats, time for the next stage in your game, and direct them to material on building rapport and qualifying her etc.

    “So I dunno, how should I play this/text so we can meet up?”

    I don’t know enough about her to say exactly, but your basic options are “have her meet up with you alone” or “have her friends come out and meet up with you and your friends when you’re all out partying together”. It sounds like you have enough interest to get her to meet up alone…her friends have already approved of you, you’ve had some heart to heart, etc. So try pushing for that first, because you need isolation with her to build to sex. If she’s young and stuck in party mode and only wants to meet up on like a Friday at the bar with her group of friends and yours etc., you can still work that (just figure out how to isolate her), but it’s a shit-load more work and hassle and room for error.

    Shoot for a weeknight, where there won’t be as much chaos out and about and you can have some room in a bar/lounge/pub somewhere all to yourselves without the elbow-to-elbow “my BFF lost her cel phone omg dramaaaa!!” bullshit to deal with…plus you likely won’t run into anyone she knows which will help her feel like no one will know if she sleeps with you (VS partying with her friends on a Friday night).

    Plan a solid Day 2. Make it involve these things:

    1) Alcohol, at least one drink…don’t get hammered or anything, you don’t need to, and you can do it without any alcohol, but it’s a lot easier for her ASD to allow her to have sex with you quickly if it can say “oh well we were drinking and it just happened!”, even if “drinking” means literally one sip of a drink (this has literally happened to me before lol)

    2) Multiple venue-changes, that seem spontaneous, and are led by you. So you walk from the car to the lounge (for instance) but go “hey, sec, I need to get some gum” and pull her by the forearm into the convenience store beside you before you get to the lounge. In the lounge you start at a casual open table and shoot the shit and get her comfortable. Then you say “hey let’s play pool/darts/etc.” and move her over to that area to do that together. Tease/flirt/cheat etc. and lead things into a flirtier direction…bet a kiss on the game, etc. Then you say “I need to sit down, come.” and lead her to the booths that are more private in the back corner, where you can escalate kino more, etc.

    Every time you enter a new environment with her, even if it’s just changing to another part of the bar, you’re showing her that she’ll be safe following your lead so she’ll be more agreeable to being led (eventually into a cab and back to your place and then into your bedroom)…plus it makes her feel like you’ve known eachother longer because you’ve been in so many different places together, even if the time duration is the same as sitting at one table for the same length of time, so you have more comfort etc.

    3) Lace the conversation with a reason to come back to your place or go back to her place…”oh you haven’t seen MovieX? It’s awesome, I have it on DVD…” (then later on when it’s clearly “on”) “This place is too noisy (these drinks are too expensive, these people are too drunk, etc. etc.), let’s go watch MovieX at my place. Come.” and lead her the way you led her around all night, but this time it’s into a cab/car to your place (don’t drive if you were drinking, of course).

    4) Figure out logistics ahead of time. Does she work at 6am the next day? Does she have a car she won’t want to leave parked downtown overnight? Do you have cab fare and know where/how to get a cab easily? Does she have roommates or live with her parents so you can’t go to her place? etc.

    5) Make sure the last venue you end up at is near your apartment or her apartment, so the transition is easy between there and isolation. A shit-hole pub by your place is better than a fancy upscale lounge a 40 minute subway ride away.

    6) Try to pick places you have social proof at, if possible…if it’s not possible, then in the future try to have built up social proof at some places. It’s not mandatory, but it helps if she feels like she’s out with an important socially connected guy even if that connection is the old lady at the convenience store knows you or a bartender at the shitty pub knows what kind of beer you like.

    “I think getting makeouts was the original goal, but I kinda wanna try Day 2′s now.”

    lol, combine them both and make out on your Day 2. :D

    “The girl was actually on her way out so I couldn’t have had sex with her.”

    That’s fine, you did enough work that I’d be surprised if you didn’t end up on a Day 2 with her.

    “The other one I got the number from though, I kinda just left for no reason… honestly i guess I could’ve had sex with her that night, but I was so happy I found a pua in my city who’s willing to help me that I kinda wanted to learn more stuff from him lol.”

    Homo. ;) lol. In all seriousness, a good wingman is worth 1000 women, so I understand. Just make sure you try to give some value back to him, like winging him proper and remembering to introduce him to the sets you open etc. Two guys consciously applying game together can do a LOT of damage.

    “I went from being scared to talk to any girls to freaking grinding/dancing with every girl I wanted to meet lol”

    Remember: he helped jump-start you but ultimately that was YOU doing that. The same you that was telling bachelorette parties what school you went to before they fell asleep from not realizing you had a penis. You are 100% capable of doing this again and taking it further.

    At the same time, remember that every night is it’s own thing…you might go out next week and bomb and suck ass and just feel horrible and frustrated going “fuuuuck but I was so awesome before!! now I’m terrible!! :( :( ” but just remember that while there’s an overall macro-momentum that builds up when you go out a lot, each night itself is its own entity and the steps you take when you get to the club that night (3-Second Rule, remembering to be more sexual, approaching instead of standing in a chode-crystal with buddies talking shit, laughing off rejections, etc.) determine what sort of night you’re likely to have more than anything else.

    “We were the life of the party and there were SO many dudes just standing there like robots. Wallflowers. Whatever.”

    lol yep. The guys on Death Row looking terrified to be there, and the guys leaned up against the wall making sure it doesn’t fall over. ;)

    “Got rejected a few times too but it was fun!”

    Excellent attitude.

    “Going out again on Tuesday night to bars so any other tips are appreciated.”

    Whoops, this probably won’t make it to ya in time. My bad, I’ve been writing long-ass replies lately (Scray yours is comin’ next) and just now gotten around to this one lol

    “I’d also like to point out that I was probably the worst dressed dude in the entire club (gym shoes, plain shirt, khaki’s) so yeah… kinda surprised how well everything went lol”

    It’s almost like none of that shit matters and it all comes down to Game. Weird. ;)

    “I’m kind of trying to keep convo details sparse cuz like i’ve read before, it’d be weird to have the exact convo from the night before show up on some blog (especially if there’s a chance I’ll see her again). Am I overthinking this?”

    lol I’m paranoid about it. I change wording here and there and when I give examples I come up with new ones as I’m writing that get the same point across but aren’t exactly what I say in real life. In the community we’ve had girls stumble across their own Field Reports and it’s pretty devestating to them because to them everything seemed to natural and magical and they opened themsleves up and ignored their own ASD etc. and then they read about themselves and their magical interaction being broken down as a strategic gameplan and shared with a bunch of random dudes on the Internet. Pretty brutal and a lot of drama for everyone involved.

    You’d probably be fine, but don’t share more than you’re comfortable with, and with this particular girl you should be fine and not need much detailed help. Let us know if she full out flakes or anything…like I say, I would be surprised if you weren’t in a txt convo with her and able to arrange a Day 2.

    Props on going out! Hope you have a fun night tonight! Good luck with this chick.

on June 30, 2013 at 4:40 pm
Original Link

30 day challenge over:

In short, I still suck at this lol.

—-As I get better at talking (reaching social hook point) to hotter girls, I’m running into some weird inner confidence issues. Like, I was talking to a set with this girl, and the opening went great. And the girl riffs on me saying she’s manipulative…then I roleplay ‘so how would you get even if we were going out and you were pissed….you’ve been home all I day, and I get there, what do you do?’ She says she’d do what she did to an ex….and then details a very graphic, sexual story (it was like some Wild Things shit lol). I -immediately- kind of shut down out of intimidation….like ‘wowshecouldneverlikemeholyshitwtf.’

—-I’m terrified of escalation without a lot of IOI’s. Like, there are a lot of sets where I feel like I should just go for it (seriously, why not?)

—-It’s still hard for me to create an emotional response, which sucks — I still feel like hot chicks think they can ignore me and w/e at will.

—-Mixed sets are where the hottest girls are at, on average, that I’ve seen. I mean occasionally there’s a hot two set of girls or whatever.

—-My calibration re: when I’m getting them interested is fucked up. Like, I’ll open a set and within five-ten minutes, they’ll start asking me questions like ‘hey what are you? (ethnicity) what’s your name? what do you do? etc…’ and my mind’ll be like ‘nah, just joke around about it you haven’t done anything to earn it yet’ but like, lol….I think I’m wrong. Because when I do this they don’t seem to like the fact that I joked about it.

—-Looks make a big difference. I’ve talked to girls, then left, then watched some tall good-looking guy roll in and get way more attention with not even a quarter of the same personality.

—-But, even in the most insane club, you can overcome looks (at least on some level). I opened a five set, 3 dudes and 2 girls. Dudes are good-looking, buff, etc. I roll in, play games with the group, engage the target. I think it’s going horribly (target actually starts asking me the questions from above, but I do THE SAME GODDAMNED thing and joke about it)….so she cools and starts whispering to the leader of the chode group about me. I sigh and eject soon enough

A few minutes later, those girls walk down the club hall and see me and they’re like ‘there you are! those guys were so lame!’ The target seemed to like me, but her uggo friend wasn’t having it. I’m telling you, there’s starting to be this weird inversion where uggos are averse to me lol.

—-Going out alone is pretty hard. I’d say I’m only at like 20-30% when I’m out alone.

—’Queens of conversation’ has led to some fun interactions. altho, when they say ‘don’t know’ what line they would have said instead, I tend to go with ‘you have NO IDEA, how is this relationship supposed to get off the ground if you don’t help?’
—> ‘there are a lot of reasons it’s not going to get off the ground (smirk)’
‘….now you’re talking to me, all right, hit me with it (leans against bar, looking at club)’
‘First of all, I’m taller than you’
‘….really? (glances down at her feet)’
‘Heels count!’
‘All right, whatever. Next?’
‘….well, you’re really courageous. I like that.’
‘Whoa, whoa….we’re talking about why you -don’t- want to be with me, remember?’
‘ooooh, ya!’

—-Cougars. lol. At least five times I’ve been assaulted by cougars. They’re kind of pushy too…, they open me, they ask me a bunch of questions. There’s always one who’s super into me. Bleh.

—-State. I haven’t been in state for like…..weeks. It’s kind of liberating to know you can just go out and get it going no matter what mood you’re in.

—-Clubs. In a city famous for its nightlife….these are such great practice grounds. So many hot girls, so many fun interactions. Plus, you go there more and more, the staff start to take care of you. All they see is you talking to girls like a mack — so when they say ‘hi’ that’s the image they have of you = great social proof to hot girls.

  • YaReally
    on July 1, 2013 at 3:13 am
    Original Link

    lol. About to pass out right now but you’ll laugh at my response. Good stuff man, the 30 days did more for you than you realize right now, I’ll break it down for ya. Massive massive props for your effort/self-discipline.

    My roommate is doing a similar challenge right now (out almost daily) and I might join him just cause fuck it, why not lol

  • Snoop Lion
    on July 1, 2013 at 2:16 pm
    Original Link

    Yeah one thing I have recently concluded is that I will never go out alone again. Ever. It’s just automatic no-way-to-show-social-proof. It really matters, I think more than ever. Just to be clear, I’ve done it for years, I’m not shy, I chat up everyone, male and female, everywhere–on the street, in the elevator, at work, in bars, wherever. I’ve been cold approaching (and having success) literally since age 18. (I’m now 38–and that’s one problem I have now.) I went to a party state school but was not greek, and even there I would cold approach other (non greek, usually) girls in clubs and get them, sometimes. But now that I’m 38….dude yeah men can age more gracefully than women and we don’t have “the wall” as bad but at the same time not everyone is Alpha Jack Nicholson. I’m good looking and make good money but I’m a normal guy–not famous. I was married…now divorced. I *am* invisible or creepy to 90% of girls aged 22 to 25 and especially to younger than 22. I’m 8 years older even than a 30 year old. And I have stayed in shape and can pass for 29, and I get carded, but still…..word of advice to you wannabe players for life. It does get harder when you are not the same age as the girls 21-25 anymore. You are no longer in school or same age group at work with them. I hooked up with a lot of 8s from age 24-27 (when I got married). At 38…not the same. Everywhere I go I have such frustration because I see total hotties aged 17 (I know this blog won’t give me shit for saying that) to 22 with pimple-faced, skinny, no job having probably no future career either, nothing-going-for-them dorks, not even alpha…and I know those kids are feeling those tight little perky young boobs and ass that nigth. While I’m not with anyone. It is definitely harder at age 38 than it was at 18 or 28. But back to my point….I think all of this is really true as far as going out alone. I’m not a loser. I used to have a good social network. Guess what? All of my friends my age are now married and home with their kids. I’m divorced so I’m trying to be back on the scene again with NO social proof. It really sucks, franky. What’s inspiring this post in particular is I went out alone last Monday night to a local dive joint (pretty cool place…good live music…Monday is jaz night), alone, feeling good. Got a good workout in first, was feeling pumped, was feeling like applying the advice of this blog just for fun, literally didn’t give a fuck, not nervous. Ended up hitting on a cute little 8 chick who was probably 21, there with her friends (3 girls and 3 guys)…guys probably beta orbiters. She was kind of cool with me, I got her alone in a different part of the bar (2 stages). I said “put your number in my phone” without even talking to her much, she immediately just did it without questioning. Thing is I got pretty drunk that night…and had no friend to drive me home. Ended up getting 2 other chicks to drive my car home and take care of me (no sex) that night even. See, I’m not a total loser. I don’t go out much because of being a professional divorced dad and I go out one time, alone, and go 1 for 1 getting a true 8 to put her number in my phone (she used my phone to call herself…keep reading to get to the end of that story), and get 2 other random chicks to drive me home and take care of me all night to make sure I didn’t die from alcohol poisoning (that part was pretty loserish).

    Ok…next morning the 8 had texted me “who is this” since she obviously saw my # as a missed call in her phone (SHE called herself with my phone after I told her to put her # in my phone). She had seen me pretty fucking drunk a little later on.. I waited all day and:

    Me: cute blonde girl?
    Her: Yes?
    Me (8 hours later): Mmmm hmmm.
    Her: ?
    Me: Oh, you weren’t asking?
    Her: Who is this?
    Me: (next day): You texted me. I think u did it from [name of the bar].
    (she’s gone).

    Now…I don’t think I fucked up that texting much at all. Yareally?

    I think she remembered I was the drunk alone older guy or she got 5 numbers that night, next morning…whatever.

    Thing is, sorry to make excuses, I think I had no chance primarily because of having no wingman. I had watched her earlier in the night (I really don’t think she had noticed me but I could be being naïve) and again I’m not shy. If I had a wingman I would have crashed her little group much earlier and talked to them….even though I could tell they are 6 friends from college aged 21-22. I truly don’t give a fuck as far as being shy.

    I think I just had NO chance with this 8 (super cute, pretty, tight little body, blonde) in that situation.

    So I have resolved to not go out alone anymore. Just a waste of money and abuse of my body (lots of smoke in the bar too…plus the alcohol).


    • YaReally
      on July 2, 2013 at 9:19 am
      Original Link

      Alright, I’m going to help you on this. Because as I get older, guys like you are relevant to me because you are a warning of, well, what to avoid becoming if I decide to go the eternal bachelor route. So your rant strikes a bit of a personal chord and writing this will help me remind myself to stick to the right path to head towards being a George Clooney cool older high-value man instead of a creepy fuck wearing dad-jeans weirding young chicks out lol because those are basically the only two paths when you’re a 38yo single guy in a bar hitting on girls.

      This is also to help the other older guys in the Manosphere, because the PUA crowd is generally younger and the Manosphere has a lot more divorced dad type guys who are self-conscious about being “the old guy in the bar”. Day-game and social-circle game are probably a lot easier routes for an older guy, but if you still want to be able to choose from a bunch of young hotties in a bar on a Saturday night VS hoping your social circles spit something decent your way, or you’re recently fucked over and need to build a social circle and make new buddies and shit, hitting up the bar with a gameplan might be a route you want to explore, and regardless you should find some of this shit useful.

      Also on a personal note, while I DO have fun shitting all over expectations by being chubby and having no money etc. but still getting girls, I AM fully aware that as I get older, to keep this MGTOW-who-can-pickup-girls hybrid lifestyle up (and possibly create some spawn one day, who knows), I’ll have to handle that shit, and I’ve started on those things this year and have a general plan for the future with it lol

      @Snoop Lion
      “I’m not a loser.”

      You’re right, you’re *NOT* a loser. BUT, you’re acting LIKE a loser.

      The bad news is: the end result in how people treat you ends up being the same because all people know about you is what you present to them. But the good news is: the actions you’re taking are what make you seem like a loser to people, and you can change your actions, which will change your results. This is all completely in your control, but it will take work, self-discipline, and forcing yourself to change some shitty habits you’ve developed and rationalized away as either out of your control to fix or not damaging enough to bother fixing.

      Again, I want to stress that I’m not shitting on you as a person, I’m shitting on actions you’re taking that are completely within your control. Your situation is one that you can completely fix, if you want it bad enough to put in the work.

      Also: understand that you have CHANGED. You are not the same guy you were before your marriage. Your mindset has changed, and not in a good/useful way. Part of what’s fucking you up is that you’re picturing yourself as the same guy you were before, so you’re creating more stress for yourself and higher standards for yourself than you need to because you’re stuck in the same mentality as the guy who used to be an impressive athelete when he was younger, but had an operation or something and has gotten fat and lazy over the years, trying to get back to the gym and frustrated because he isn’t able to lift the same weights or run for as long as he used to when he was prime…you can’t approach this the same way you did back then because you’re not the same guy you were and you’re not in the same environment you were in. The fat older dude has to take up a different regimine to get back in shape than he did when he was younger.

      And before I get into it, you should be aware that a lot of oldschool pickup instructors are in their 30s now, some of them near or past your age, some with kids, and they still do just fine, even with young chicks. But there are differences between what they do and their mindsets, and what you do and your mindsets.

      So let’s break you down:

      Going through your post, right NOW (again, you may have been the opposite before your marriage but this is who you are right now, and I’m aware that a lot of this will sound like flowery bullshit but stick it out) you are:

      - A 38yo man who bases his self-worth and how he should feel about himself externally (“I’m a normal guy-not famous”, “I’m invisible or creepy to 90% of young girls”, “here’s my story about me getting chicks to take me home, see I’m not a loser guys!!”, “i had no chance”, “I need a wingman”, “I need social proof”, “it’s impossible to be attractive/cool without social proof”, “all these girls judge me for being there alone and that’s relevant to me and I feel creepy because of it”)

      - A 38yo man who has no friends and either can’t or doesn’t want to make friends (ya, ya, it’s because guys your age are married, and you used to have a good social network but it’s gone now, and it’s because you don’t have a lot of free time, and it’s because there’s no one to be your wingman blah blah blah…some of those are valid excuses for why this is a problem for you, but the point is the end result is that right now you are someone who has to go out alone and has no friends despite being chatty/social)

      - A 38yo man who’s living in his past glories and frustrated that things have changed (“I used to be a badass with girls”, “I got girls back in school even without being greek”, “I used to hook up with young chicks but it’s harder to meet them now”, “girls used to want me but now they think I’m a loser because I don’t have social proof”)

      - A 38yo man who thinks he’s owed better than he’s getting and falling into the blue pill belief that if you work out, work hard, make money, etc. the universe will just throw you friends and pussy without you haven’t to work specifically at those things (“look at these stupid kids getting these girls I should be getting :( :( “)

      - A 38yo man who resents other people for being succesful at things he’s currently not (again with the pimply-faced kid rant)

      - A 38yo man who’s a pessimistic defeatist and probably just hides behind the label of “realistic” (you’ve already decided you can’t succeed, and you’re giving warnings to other guys that they can’t succeed)

      - A 38yo man with shitty text game lol (sorry man, I’ll break it down later but that was some brutal texting and you completely fucked that up yourself)

      - A 38yo man who possibly doesn’t realize that his game has gone to shit because he still falls ass-backwards into success now and then, and, again, is still living in his glory days in his head instead of accept that, like not going to the gym for a while, his skills have gone to shit or they never WERE that good to begin with and now that the environment has gotten tougher, they aren’t good enough to prosper in it

      - A 38yo man with no self-discipline or self-control or impulse-control (you keep getting drunk when you’re out, even when you know it’s fucking you over in terms of achieving your goals and you’re basically sabotaging yourself)

      - A 38yo man who doesn’t take personal responsibility for his failures (you didn’t drink, you “ended up” getting drunk, like it just magically fucking happened and wasn’t a conscious decision on your part to keep consuming alcohol that you know is bad for you and your results in the long-run, to the point where you needed to be babysat…a 38 year old man needing to be babysat. Like, re-read that. That didn’t “just happen”, you chose to end up like that, and I would bet it’s not the first time since your divorce that you’ve “ended up” in that state.

      Also you blame everything else except yourself for your situation: you don’t have friends because your friends got married (so it’s their fault), girls don’t like you because you don’t have social proof (so it’s girls’ fault for wanting guys with social proof), you don’t go out much because you’re a professional divorced dad (so it’s the fault of your job and former marriage), you’re invisible and creepy to girls because of your age (so it’s your age’s fault which is something you don’t have control over), etc…everything is based around “nothing is in my control and it’s all everyone else’s fault!! I’ll take credit for all my successes, listen to how I totally got this 8′s number one for one, but I’m not going to take any credit for my failures because I’m not a loser, all that stuff is the fault of other people or things, not my own fault!)

      - A 38yo man who doesn’t have the motivation or discipline or respect for himself to improve his situation (actually, this one is to be determined, by how you respond to this comment…you can ignore what I’m saying and tell me I don’t really know you and I’m only 31 so I don’t understand and blah blah blah and make up a bunch of bullshit excuses to rationalize why you should be allowed to piss & moan without fixing your shit…or you can use this as motivation to start turning your shit around. In fact I’m going to give you a step by step gameplan for you to follow in this very comment. The road is laid out in front of you, if you can shed all the bullshit you’ve let yourself get away with and start working harder on this)

      So we have a 38yo undisciplined, whiny, bitter/resentful, friendless, anti-social, frustrated defeatist with shitty text game who blames other people and circumstances for his failures.

      Sounds pretty awesome, what <25 girl WOULDN'T want that? I mean, chicks like older mature men right so they should be all over that mess, right? Does that description sound like George Clooney or a well-connected out-going socialite male that's well-respected and brings value to the table? Or does that sound like a drunk old loser with no value to give them beyond using them as a cum dumpster on the nights he isn't too drunk to get it up.

      That's essentially what this comes down to. What value are you bringing to the table? The 18-25yo girl is bringing her A-Game, her prime hotness, the highest value she'll ever have in her LIFE…what value are you bringing her that she SHOULD want you? You don't even have cool friends to introduce her to, let alone being able to bring her into a world that guys her age can't…you're offering "I'm decent looking and can stick my dick in you". That's what the young pimply-faced kid is bringing to the table too…except that he can get away with that because no one expects more from him.

      And ya, you've had some tough breaks. You don't realistically have the free time a 22yo kid does, and you have responsibilities and shit. Some things are out of your control…but most of what I listed up above there is NOT out of your control and you need to take control of those things that you can.

      Right now you're taking the wrong actions and acting like a loser. But again, that's okay because this is fixable if you WANT to fix it (but getting out of a negative victim mentality is hard and it's 100000x easier to just wallow in your misery and feel bad for yourself and ride the validation high of getting sympathy from others for your plight, so I fully understand that this is difficult…even admitting that you need to work on some shit is hard for the ego to take, let alone actually executing it).

      So then, now you know how you're coming across to other people (and I'm just some fucktard on the Internet who read one of your posts…if *I* can pick up on all of this from a couple paragraphs from you, young chicks in their prime who are developing the skillset of deducing which guys are high/low value can pick up on all this and probably more). Scray is encouraging you because he can tell you're just stuck in a shitty mindset too, and so is corvinus, and other guys reading your post can probably tell too, so it's not just me picking on you. This is how you're presenting yourself to the world, even if you have a 6-pack and you're pulling $300k/yr as a professional.

      So let's break this list down to what's under your control and what isn't:

      - a man who bases his self-worth externally (under your control)

      - a man with no social proof (under your control)

      - a man who has no friends (under your control)

      - a man who can't or doesn't want to make friends (under your control)

      - a man who's living in his past glories (under your control)

      - a man who's frustrated that things have changed (under your control)

      - a man who feels like he deserves better (under your control)

      - a man who resents others for their success (under your control)

      - a man with shitty text game (under your control)

      - a man who thinks he still has awesome game (under your control)

      - a man who has no self-discipline or self-control (under your control)

      - a man who purposely damages his body/mind (under your control)

      - a man who doesn't take responsibility for his failures (under your control)

      - a man who doesn't respect himself enough to fix his situation (under your control)

      ………..huh. Look at that. :) lol

      This is why I say, I'm shitting on you here, but it's not because of who you are as a person, it's because the actions you're taking that are completely under your control are the wrong actions and I know you can fix them, because I've fixed a lot of them in myself, and I've watched other guys have fixed them in themselves, and plenty of guys fix these things every day.

      It's hard work, but if you want it, you can do it. So let's build a road-map for you.

      But first, a quote from an oldschool Tyler seminar he gave when he was like 23 and he was seeing old guys at the bar who were pulling young tail and figuring out why they were successful for his future reference: "I think when you're older, I think one of the most important things when you're older is to build it around lifestyle. So have cool places to go and stuff like that. It's just fun to meet powerful, cool guys who've been around, they know the city, and they know cool stuff and they can just open up another world to you. Because she's not admitting to herself she wants sex…she's saying "he seems FUN." And then he gets her alone and it "just happens"." So I talk to him and he says "I'm 75 years old…and I get more pussy than any 75yo in Los Angeles." and he does because it just comes down to game."

      So then, how can we fix each of these things? This is how to fix them…some of the ways to fix them may not be convenient for you, and may require you to either push your comfort zone, risk embarrassing yourself, or juggle your priorities so that you have time for these things. How bad you want it will determine whether you'll make any sacrifices to get it…but I want you to understand that if in a year from now you're acting like a 39yo pissing & moaning on here well on your way to becoming the stereotypical whiny-ass old creeper that half the Manosphere embraces being, that was completely YOUR decision because this road-map is removing your excuses:

      Flaw: being a man who bases his self-worth externally

      Fix: Has any of this post of mine pissed you off? If so, why? What do you care what I think? Why do you care what 21yo girls or their group of friends think? Why does going to a bar alone cause you to act any different than if you had 10 buddies there? Why do you care if girls think you're creepy? Why do you think that the 8 would've liked you if you had some buddy there? What if you could never get laid again by anything but trolls, would you feel shitty? Would you keep telling stories about what a pimp/playa you were back in the day? How many times since college ended have you told people you got girls back then?

      The fix for this is to purposely fuck up your ego. Go ahead and make an ass out of yourself with some 21yos. Approach them even if you think they'll think you're creepy. Go sit down with the hot 21yo's pimply-faced group and start telling stories. Go stand in the middle of the dance floor and try dancing by yourself, badly, at the start of the night. Go to the youngest nightclub in town and try approaching some girls. Do the things that you think a 38yo can't get away with.

      Is this going to slay you a bunch of 21yo poon? No, they'll probably think you're a creeper. But that won't kill you and isn't a big deal and you need to develop your inner game to the point where you can creep out a 21yo completely, in the worst way possible so she's telling you "eww get the fuck out of here, gross!!", and then be able to turn around and approach the next 21yo with the complete belief that there's no reason she wouldn't be into you.

      This is probably the hardest one to fix, because every instinct you have will tell you not to do any of this and it takes a long time for it to get better. Your ego has spent years building up an Identity and it won't want you to risk fucking it all up, let alone purposely fuck it all up.

      Travel to another city to do this if you have to, that's fine. It's not about actually fucking up your day to day life/reputation, it's about in that moment in the bar, when you're there thinking those 21yo's won't be into you, fucking up your self-image right then and there in that moment and riding that reference experience…and doing that frequently enough that you develop the ability to not let other people's opinions phase you, especially the opinions of stilly <25yo girls.

      This is the one you'll fight doing the most and rationalize ways/excuses to not do it lol That's fine, it's natural. Push through that if you want the young chicks, or quit bitching because you aren't willing to fix your shit, either one is fine, but the former will be a lot better for you in the long-run than the latter.

      Flaw: a man with no social proof

      Fix: Focus on purposely creating social proof from scratch instantly wherever you are. Learn to work the room, merge sets of strangers with eachother, build rapport faster, figure out who the highest-value people in the bar are and befriend them, get chummy with the bartenders and make small-talk with the bouncers. Chat with the guys and girls who are having fun and have good energy, regardless of how they look or their age etc. Social proof is something you can build anywhere, instantly…as long as there are other people in the room, there's a heirarchy of value that you can tackle:

      Quit going out looking at other people as useless to you, or as obstacles, or as not worth your time. Look at them as potential friends and fun. This falls back into the first point, about learning not to care if you embarrass yourself doing this.

      Flaw: a man who has no friends

      Fix: This falls back into the social proof thing. Approach more people, make more friends, even friends you wouldn't normally picture yourself having anything in common with. I'm 31 and I have good solid day-to-day friends as well as casual bar buddies across the age gamut from 20 to 50yo. They're different looks, personalities, ages, races, styles (everything from rich metro dudes to Budweiser ball-capped construction guys). I don't go in judging them, and I don't expect them to judge me (because I have that first thing aobut not judging myself on other people's opinion down (most of the time lol, I'm human and it comes back if I don't actively work on it just like you get fat if you stop working out and eating healthy)). I'm friends with hot people and ugly people, doesn't matter, as long as they're fun. Some of them aren't even outgoing, they're introverted nerds, but I find ways to connect with them and help bring their good qualities out and make them feel liked and wanted and a part of the group and like they're worth something.

      This comes down to giving people value and looking for the good in everyone. I know my worth, and I have the social skills developed from pickup to spread that worth to the people around me. Understand that this isn't something I naturally had or was naturally good at…I had to actively work on this and develop it and make an ass out of myself a shitload because it started to become something I was unconsciously competant at.

      Flaw: a man who can't or doesn't want to make friends

      Fix: Why don't you have friends? Seriously. You were at the bar the other night when this shit-show all went down…how did you manage to not make any friends that night? Will anyone besides those 3 girls remember you? Do you know the bartender's name? Does he know anything about you? Did you talk to any guys? Do you remember the names of any guys, or anything about them? Or did you just go sit on a stool "listening to the music" until the universe threw some poon in your direction and then you pounced on her. Did you talk to any guys beside you, start up a conversation while you ordered your next beer? Buy anyone a drink, have anyone buy YOU a drink?

      I met this dude last week. Nice guy, super good-looking tall dude but he looked nervous and like he was having a shit time, so I chatted him up and joked around about the bar because I could tell it wasn't his scene. Made him comfortable, built a little rapport, even bought him a beer and then opened some random girls and introduced them to him. Shot the shit with him and cheered him up till his friends showed up. Dude was probably early 20s max. I have a bunch of friends so I didn't grab any contact info, but if I wanted to increase my social circle I would've said something like "I'm hitting up this other bar next Friday, it's more your crowd. I can shoot you a txt when I head there if you want, or just come out and find me and we'll chat up some girls." If I run into this guy again, he's going to remember me and I'm going to remember him and say "Hey, how's it going man" and call him by his name because I try to remember those things.

      Either you don't WANT to make friends because you judge them as not good enough for you or not the right age range for you or not attractive/cool enough for you to associate with, etc. which is an internal issue on how you view others on your end, or you don't think other people would WANT to be your friend which is an internal issue on how you view yourself on your end.

      Flaw: a man who's living in his past glories

      Fix: No one gives a shit. Yesterday has no effect on today. You can be a god one night, slaying poon left and right, and then the next night you can't get a girl to even smile at you. There are ways to build up consistency and push through the off nights, but the point is that nothing you've done up till now matters…the girls don't care and we don't care. All that matters is what you do from here on in. The sooner you quit talking about what a badass you were, the sooner your ego will let go of trying to convince you you're still a pimp and holding you back:

      Flaw: a man who's frustrated that things have changed

      Fix: Deal with reality. You have to work harder than you used to. You aren't in college surrounded by pussy with a bunch of youthful energy and optimism. You're an older man with a career and kids and responsibilites. Girls aren't going to give you a free pass because you're a pimply-faced 20yo that they don't expect anything more from…they expect you to be a solid man who's got his shit together and can give them some value. You will have to work harder at this. Is that fair? No, probably not. But fuck it, it is what it is. A short guy has to learn how to be dominant and get rid of his "short guy insecurity baggage", so he has to work harder than a guy who's average or tall height…is that fair? No, probably not. But fuck it, what's the alternative? Settle for some fat chick and go down the sexless marriage route with her because life isn't fair and it's too haaaaard and that other guy has it easier? No, you just do it.

      Flaw: a man who feels like he deserves better

      Fix: You don't. The world doesn't owe you shit. It sounds like you have parts of your life handled (career, health, etc.), and that's awesome, but it won't hand you those 21yo hotties because you're dropping the ball in other parts of your life. Note that I'm not saying you can't get laid, but that if you want the girls who are at their prime, when you're 38+, you have work to do.

      Flaw: a man who resents others for their success

      Fix: This is just negative bullshit. It usually stems from you seeing yourself as higher-value than other people, but not because you ARE higher-value to other people but because you feel like they SHOULD see you as higher-value and it's unfair that they're too stupid to realize how much better you are. This is all a retarded mindset. Start finding the good in people…even when you meet people you don't respect, or have nothing in common with, look for something in them that's positive. Maybe do Tony Robbin's positivity challenge a few times this year if you find yourself constantly "talking shit" about other people in your head, even people who "deserve" it. If some 20yo pimple-face came along and took your 8 from you the other night while you were shit-faced on a bar stool, you should be able to go "lol shit, good game kid" and be happy for him pulling a hottie.

      Flaw: a man with shitty text game

      Fix: lol. You're in the right place to fix that. :D Also:

      Flaw: a man who thinks he still has awesome game

      Fix: Ya, you got a #. But you didn't stick your dick in her. Ya, you got two girls to come home with you. But you were too drunk to fuck either of them. Ya, back in college you got laid a bunch blah blah. But this isn't then, this is a marriage/divorce/kids/loss-of-friends/etc. later. It's fine, you can fix this…post up Field Reports, figure out your sticking points, make more friends, build a social circle, befriend staff and start becoming known for offering value to people, go out with some goals of shit to work on instead of aimlessly just getting drunk on a bar-stool alone waiting for the universe to throw something your way for you to work with.

      You're one of the Aimless Alphas ( who were always decent at game, so when shit gets harder because the girls aren't as receptive or forgiving anymore and their game needs to be tighter, they choke and get frustrated and blame everything else for their lack of success with the girls they want. But you can fix this, you just have to work at it. The first step is admitting right now your game isn't tight and needs work to land the hot young chicks who expect you to have tighter game than the 38yo twice-divorceed 3-kids-by-different-dads cat-lady saggy wrinkled old chick expects from you.

      Flaw: a man who has no self-discipline or self-control


      Flaw: a man who purposely damages his body/mind

      Fix: Same video as above.

      Flaw: a man who doesn't take responsibility for his failures

      Fix: Same video as above. It's an important video, watch it, even though it's long…even his little intro, where he describes the amount of work he was doing at the time. Grab some food, sit back and give it a watch.

      Flaw: a man who doesn't respect himself enough to fix his situation

      Fix: I've shit on you a bunch here…but it's only because to me it sounds like you're a guy who could be living a better life than he's living, and isn't heading toward where he wants to be, and that's a waste to me. You can fix this, but it's entirely on you to do it…all I've done here is take away your excuses to NOT have a good social circle and 21yo chicks on your arm. From here, the choice of how to live the rest of your life (which could be another 38 long years) is up to you. Good luck. ;)

      (far as your text game goes, it was terrible. I *THINK* I get that in your head you thought it came off like you were calling her a cute blonde girl and her "Yes?" was her asking if she was one so your bit after was telling her yes she was but that took some serious mental gymnastics to pull out of those weird texts…she and most people reading that would have no idea wtf you were saying, and then you didn't take the conversation anywhere or anything, and then you played "guess who this is" for too long past the point where she legitimately needed to know who the fuck you were…for all she knows you're some homeless guy who heard her say her number, or a stalker or who the fuck knows or cares, and on top of it all you waited hours and days to respond in an already creepy situation for her…I'm not trying to be a dick, but you could've probably laid her because she was into you at the bar, but you did some weird stuff and tossed it away lol It's all good, just do some reading up on text game, this is easy to fix…post some more txt convos in the future and we can probably help you)

      • Sad Clown
        on July 2, 2013 at 11:39 am
        Original Link

        Solid stuff, YaReally. Lots of value in this.

        • YaReally
          on July 2, 2013 at 1:01 pm
          Original Link

          Thanks, glad you liked it. I hope it motivates the guy I’m responding to, but if it doesn’t then at least maybe a few “newly back on the scene” older guys or “planning to be an eternal bachelor” younger guys will be able to take something from it.

  • YaReally
    on July 11, 2013 at 10:34 pm
    Original Link

    Yo, sorry for the slow response. Massive props for doing the 30 day challenge!

    “In short, I still suck at this lol.”

    lol you’re better off than you realize. Allow me to break it down. :)

    The running theme for this is going to be “Surprise, you’re good now. Suck it up and accept that you’ve basically got all the basic skills you need to be getting laid regularly now.” You’re no longer a “recovering AFC”. You put in the time/work/thought/etc. and improved fast as fuck and you’re basically at the door to the lottery office to pick up your million dollar check, but you’re talking yourself out of opening the door because it seems like this all happened too fast and that it shouldn’t have been as “easy” (in the grand scheme of things) as it was.

    The check is written and signed to you inside that office, just sitting there waiting for you to go “Shit, I DESERVE that check. I’m kicking this door down.” instead of looking around for permission to open the door and confirmation that the check is really yours.

    It’s time to start kicking those doors down and claiming what you deserve like a boss. You’re done. You can start closing girls now, for real, with your P in their V. You’re the wolf in the field of bunnies now, and they WANT you to take them.

    This isn’t just feel-good shit. You’re still going to fuck up, and if you stop going out, you’ll lose your skills and have to get back in the groove (tho it’s easier to get back into it and when you do it long enough most of it will just be a part of you and natural, it’s mainly just the actual cold-approaching/escalating fears that’ll come back lol). You’re still going to have sticking points and you’ll still run into logistical troubles and flakiness etc. and girls will still blow you out and hot girls will still seem trickier…

    BUT, you’ve GOT the external skills handled and a lot of the internal skills/beliefs handled.

    Understand that improving in pickup involves improving two areas: your internal game and your external game. Imagine these are two columns that fill up. Rather than improving both at the same time, usually what happens is that we alternate improving each, and at the start the strides we make are huge and fill those columns with big chunks…then as we alternate back and forth between them, we “top them off” with smaller and smaller increments as we get better and better. At the start we’re learning tons of concepts and focusing on lots of things in each column, whereas down the road we’re just making little fine-tuned adjustments.

    Now every guy starts off with his columns filled different amounts depending on his life experiences. Some guys have a lot of confidence and like themselves, but they have no external skills with women. Some guys (like a lot of the oldschool PUA community) have awesome external skills, but their internals are all fucked up and full of self-loathing and they feel like they’re “scamming” the girls they get. And some guys start with both columns empty lol.

    So your progress has been the external column jumping up like crazy, while the internal column has improved dramatically (you come across as way more confident in yourself, and not insecure etc. like your first comments were, and you’ve built a lot of great positive mindsets etc.), but not as far as the external one.

    So now you’re in a situ where your external game is way more solid than before, but your internals haven’t caught up. As a result, now you’re going to have to work on your internals (specifically your sense of entitlement, giving yourself permission to take what you want, viewing the girls as lucky to have YOU rather than the other way around, coming at girls from the angle of screening them to your standards VS meeting their standards, etc.).

    You’re giving off the externals of a guy who can get these girls, so they’re reacting to you as if you’re there, but your internals haven’t caught up so you’re self-sabotaging and “premature ejectulating” and second-guessing and pulling yourself out of there because your brain is like “wtf no way this could be happening, I’m just SCRAY”.

    As much as I hate the term, this is the stage where it’s time to “man up”. :) You’ve got the skillset to lay the groundwork out, all you have to do now is step in and claim what’s yours.

    This is why I said you’ll laugh at my response…because your “problem” is basically that you got too good too fast and your brain hasn’t caught up to accepting that. Even as you read this you might have some doubts popping through your head like “well but I got shot down 3x last night”. Ya, fuck it, everyone does…but that doesn’t change the fact that you have the skills/abilities in you to get the girls. It’s like learning the material in class…you might still bomb the final exam for whatever reason, but you have the knowledge/skill to ace that thing if you fully embrace it and apply all the shit you’ve learned and accept that you can get an A+.

    “As I get better at talking (reaching social hook point) to hotter girls”

    You’re approaching hotter girls AND reaching the social hook point with them. You’re already better than 99% of the guys around you because they can’t do that.

    “I’m running into some weird inner confidence issues.”

    Yup. Because you don’t believe you deserve them yet. How could you be “fixed” in under a year of this?

    “I was talking to a set with this girl, and the opening went great.”

    Of course it did. Because you’re attractive and confident and socially savvy.

    “She says she’d do what she did to an ex….and then details a very graphic, sexual story (it was like some Wild Things shit lol). I -immediately- kind of shut down out of intimidation….like ‘wowshecouldneverlikemeholyshitwtf.’”
    :) Like I say, the running theme here now is to accept that yes, she could like you, and you deserve girls like that, and the vibe you’re putting off now makes them just assume that you GET girls like that. That’s why they’re telling you stuff like that now.

    But also like I say, you’re talking yourself out of it because you don’t think you deserve that yet.

    “I’m terrified of escalation without a lot of IOI’s. Like, there are a lot of sets where I feel like I should just go for it (seriously, why not?)”

    Do it. You have the skills to deal with however the chips fall, and pushing it is part of what MAKES them give you iois. Give these a watch, I’ve linked them in order of importance. The first 3 are the most important, but the other 3 will help re-enforce the mindset:

    “It’s still hard for me to create an emotional response, which sucks — I still feel like hot chicks think they can ignore me and w/e at will.”

    They feel like that about EVERY guy lol. That’s their world. When you’re approaching them, they are literally ignoring like 10 guys txting them, 20 guys eyeballing them from across the room, etc. That’s just their world. You have to smash into it and create some polarity…this means risking getting blown out or having them hate you. You don’t need this with a 6, but to get an 8+ you need to make her react to you:

    “Mixed sets are where the hottest girls are at, on average, that I’ve seen. I mean occasionally there’s a hot two set of girls or whatever.”

    Yup. Mystery called this way back in the day…”the hottest girls are almost never found by themselves”. Thus he came up with Group Theory. Search YouTube for “mystery method volume 1 part 1″. I’m not sure off-hand which part has the focus on group theory…I think it had a 3 in it? Part 3 maybe?

    “Like, I’ll open a set and within five-ten minutes, they’ll start asking me questions like ‘hey what are you? (ethnicity) what’s your name? what do you do? etc…’ and my mind’ll be like ‘nah, just joke around about it you haven’t done anything to earn it yet’ but like, lol…”

    Your brain is looking at “I haven’t done enough external things to earn this yet…” but what it hasn’t adapted to yet is that your internals work with your externals…so the better your internals are, the less you need to do with your externals, because they’re helping you give off a more attractive/alpha vibe.

    So it’s like imagine a newbie shy computer nerd saying “You’re cute, what’s your name?” Now imagine a badass alpha male (whoever your role model is) saying those exact same words. The external game is the exact same, but the 2nd guy has better internals, so when HE does it, it’s attractive.

    Your brain just needs to start learning that your internals have started picking up the slack.

    “I think I’m wrong. Because when I do this they don’t seem to like the fact that I joked about it.”

    Yep, because you’re doing the same thing as when a guy says his name is rumplestiltskin. “lol No really what’s your name?” “Brad Pitt.” “lol come on…what’s your name?” “Shaniqua.” “…oookay no seriously though. What’s your name?” “Mr. Chow.” “ughh…fine whatever. bye.”

    But you’re doing it because your brain hasn’t accepted that yes, a girl like that can be that attracted that fast lol

    “Looks make a big difference. I’ve talked to girls, then left, then watched some tall good-looking guy roll in and get way more attention with not even a quarter of the same personality.”

    Absolutely, if you’re not sticking your dick in her, and a good looking guy comes along, he won’t have to do much. That’s why you don’t leave your girls with these guys, or why you go in and dominate the set and take her from him lol

    Like if you just put a bunch of random guys in the room and let her pick, ya, she’ll pick the best looking guy. But that’s why you learn how to create such a presence that she doesn’t even notice those guys. You take over her space, you take over her attention, you take over her WORLD…you become the only thing that EXISTS to her.

    You’ll develop this in time. :)

    Like I say, when I go out with my tall good looking buddy (who even has Natural game), if two girls come up to us, they will BOTH focus on him because he’s naturally better looking and they go for the better looking guy by default. And if I just stand there “looking cool”, they will ignore me and keep talking to him. I have to ACTIVELY dominate their reality and force them to tear their attention away from him and onto me.

    So I’ll do stuff like “HEY. Don’t be fucking RUDE. Introduce yourselves or I won’t let you fuck my ridiculously handsome friend here.” and hold out my hand like I just EXPECT to be noticed. That ALONE gets me some attraction/iois. Then when I shake their hands, the one I want I’ll shake her hand last, and then as we’re shaking it I’ll hold onto it a bit longer than I need to and spike her temperature with stuff like “God, you girls just pounced. You must be horny as fuck. When’s the last time you had sex.” as I stare her down and she goes “omg” and giggles…then I’ll pull her in by that hand and put her arms over my shoulder and my hands on her hips and turn as I do it so her back is to my buddy, and from there I escalate shit and claim my space and then we can resume with the rest of the group, but I’ve already solidified her attraction for me. Like, through all that, she doesn’t even have time to process that other better looking guys are around me. Those guys don’t exist.

    “I opened a five set, 3 dudes and 2 girls. Dudes are good-looking, buff, etc. I roll in, play games with the group, engage the target. I think it’s going horribly (target actually starts asking me the questions from above, but I do THE SAME GODDAMNED thing and joke about it)”

    So ignore your externals for a sec…what internals did you use here? Well, you approached a girl at all, that’s confident. You approached TWO girls at once, that’s really confident. You approached two girls at once in a set with DUDES. That’s REALLY confident. You approached two girls at once, in a set with *3* dudes. That’s SUPER confident. You approached two girls at once in a set with 3 good-looking buff dudes. That’s through the ROOF confident. Then on top of that you play games with the group and engage one of the hot girls you want…right in front of the guys, who might be her boyfriend or might kick your ass…That is off the charts confident and socially savvy and cool.

    And then you think when she shoots you iois asking questions that it doesn’t make sense for her to be attracted to you? To all that that I just described? What girl WOULDN’T want to fuck that guy? lol Like I say, your brain is looking at “well I just played some games and teased her a little”, which is external…it hasn’t registered where your internals are now.

    “so she cools and starts whispering to the leader of the chode group about me. I sigh and eject soon enough”

    Ya, ’cause you didn’t jump through the window. But you know you didn’t…your sticking point right now is just that your brain is having trouble accepting that these windows are appearing so fast for you now or that they’d be there at all. You have 20-some years of Old Scray wiring up there that’s used to never getting windows…your brain is trying to unwire that and rewire it, but it’ll take time and reference experiences and this is why you have to keep going out. ;) Your brain can’t rewire itself without the reference experiences it needs.

    She may have been saying to them “sorry about this guy…we don’t even know him.” But she’s only saying that because her mouth isn’t busy…with your mouth. :) Like, it’s not that she didn’t like you or that she’s a bitch, it’s that you didn’t take the ball anywhere so as a self-defense mechanism for her own ego and her frustration/disappointment at you not taking things anywhere, she has to turn against you because what if one of those 3 chodes turned out to be cool and she fucked it up with them for a guy who drops the ball?

    “A few minutes later, those girls walk down the club hall and see me and they’re like ‘there you are! those guys were so lame!’”
    :) Now imagine you had escalated that interaction when you met them all, and you had 3 chode losers to babysit the cockblocking uggo friend for you while you take this hottie down? Just reach out and take her. :)

    “The target seemed to like me”

    Of course she did! Like I say, look at all the boss internal shit you demonstrated walking up, on top of your solid externals. Why WOULDN’T she like you?

    “but her uggo friend wasn’t having it.”

    If only you had 3 desperate chodes to babysit her for you while you “let’s go grab some food, I’m starving. We’ll be back in a minute, it’s fine, your friend is with these 3 good-looking guys, she won’t even notice you’re gone, come, let’s go, it’s too loud here I want to get to know you better, we’ll be right back.” ;)

    “I’m telling you, there’s starting to be this weird inversion where uggos are averse to me lol.”

    lol ya this’ll happen. This is again the internals/externals thing. You’ll run external game on them the way you did when your internals were low, but your internals are high now, so a lot of the cocky/funny stuff will just come off as assholish/cruel to them and they’ll think you’re making fun of them or trying to tool them etc. even when you’re just flirting and being friendly.

    Don’t stress it, it’s their hangup not yours. You can fix this problem down the road. Basically just dumb yourself down for them…like be cool/chill, VS being flirty, because they’re insecure and will assume flirting is tooling them. Plus now you’re another attractive guy hitting on their friend while they get no attention. This is where you befriend guys and pass her off to them lol…most guys, even those good-looking rich tall jacked guys, are desperate for pussy and can’t get it on their own so they’ll take your scraps and leave you with a clear path.

    “Going out alone is pretty hard. I’d say I’m only at like 20-30% when I’m out alone.”

    All good. This is natural. NO ONE can do it. Like, NO normal guys. Even my best Natural buddy who can cold-approach and slays it all the time, is scared to arrive at the bar by himself and will go out of his way to meet up with me ahead of time just to avoid walking in solo and out of state terrified.

    Tyler has a lot of videos on building momentum that might help with this, but it mostly comes down to the more you do it the more your brain realizes nothing horrible is going to happen and the more it allows you to be yourself. Combine that with the externals of learning to approach instantly, always be in set, approach the fun happy energy girls even if they’re not the hottest, etc. and you’ll get better at solo.

    “‘you have NO IDEA, how is this relationship supposed to get off the ground if you don’t help?’”

    Perfect. I use this kind of thing all the time. Imply that you’re in a relationship together already, break up, make up again, act as if you’re debating dumping her for whatever she’s doing…all sorts of stuff, they love it. I ramble into “it’s not you, it’s me” all the time…and then when they do something good I go “oh!! whew! okay i love you again, we can be together.” and pull her in. This kind of stuff is retarded but it all helps avoid a friend to friend vibe and sets a man to woman sexual relationship vibe.

    I’ll also use “this relationship clearly isn’t going to work out…we’re going to stick to just using eachother for shallow meaningless sex.”

    “‘there are a lot of reasons it’s not going to get off the ground (smirk)’
    ‘….now you’re talking to me, all right, hit me with it (leans against bar, looking at club)’”

    awww, cute, she thinks she’s going to shit-test you. :) And what does it mean when a girl shit-tests a guy? Does she shit-test a homeless smelly ax murderer? Nope. she shit-tests guys she has a spark of attraction to.

    “‘….really? (glances down at her feet)’
    ‘Heels count!’”

    Solid play here. You didn’t even have to SAY the heels thing, but you’re shit-testing her just with your glance/expression. Lots of sub-communication, and she picks up on it and technically, by saying “Heels count!”, she’s qualifying herself to you. Do girls qualify themselves to a homeless creepy drunk? Nope. They qualify themselves to guys they’re attracted to.

    “‘All right, whatever. Next?’
    ‘….well, you’re really courageous. I like that.’”

    So now she’s gone from shit-testing you to ioi’ing you. What did she do next, club you over the head with the Clue Bat? Like in my reality, this is a 100% blinking green-light to escalate and end up fucking this chick.

    “‘Whoa, whoa….we’re talking about why you -don’t- want to be with me, remember?’
    ‘ooooh, ya!’”

    Now you’re teasing her, assuming attraction, AND she’s roleplaying along with you in a flirty way.

    If you didn’t have sex with this girl……..why? (serious question) This was a done deal. And again look at your internals here…you’re assuming attraction from the start, teasing, screening her, WELCOMING her shit-tests instead of being terrified of them because you KNOW you can handle them.

    Again, why WOULDN’T she be attracted to you after all that? Just reach out and take her. ;)

    “Cougars. lol. At least five times I’ve been assaulted by cougars. They’re kind of pushy too…, they open me, they ask me a bunch of questions. There’s always one who’s super into me. Bleh.”

    lol. You’re too young for that shit, stick to hot young chicks unless you feel like going for a cougar. Some of them can be hot/fun/etc. and they usually take a lot less game. Like they’ll tell their friends “I’m going home with this guy” and their friends will say “you go girl, go get some!”, VS 18yo’s who are like “OMG SARAH WE HAVE TO GO HOME TOGETHERRRRR1!!!” like retards lol

    But ya, just use em for social proof or to warm up etc. unless you CHOOSE to bang one. They come with a ton of baggage usually. You can actually learn a lot about what hitting the wall is like for a woman and what the future of a lot of the young chicks you meet will be like, from hanging around cougars lol

    “State. I haven’t been in state for like…..weeks. It’s kind of liberating to know you can just go out and get it going no matter what mood you’re in.”

    Good. Being state-dependant is tough. If you can consistently GET into state, it’s great…but it all comes down to the 7-11 test: aka whatever your game style is and whatever your vices for it are, if you saw a gorgeous 10 in a 7-11 on a sunday morning when your hair was messed up and you were completely out of state…could you approach and get her?

    You’ll find that if you stop going out for a while, you’ll end up becoming state-dependent again. This is natural and frustrating. Battling state-dependence will be the biggest internal struggle that will haunt you forever lol

    The trick to not falling back into it is to go out every day, even for 20 min a day, and approach when you’re out of state and build reference experiences that you don’t NEED state to approach. That’s why a lot of pickup coaches aren’t state-dependent, they approach every single day all day long, so they numb that feeling of needing to be in state. But most normal people have normal jobs/school/lives/etc. where they can’t approach every day, so they fall back into state-dependance.

    “Clubs. In a city famous for its nightlife….these are such great practice grounds. So many hot girls, so many fun interactions. Plus, you go there more and more, the staff start to take care of you. All they see is you talking to girls like a mack — so when they say ‘hi’ that’s the image they have of you = great social proof to hot girls.”
    :) Good stuff man. Tyler makes the point that clubs are designed for you to have *FUN*. They’re not designed to intimidate or scare you (except for some exclusive high-end new york type clubs). They’re designed for you to let loose, feel the music, get drunk, forget about work, and just have a blast.

    But a lot of guys who get into pickup, or a lot of guys who don’t go out much, HATE clubs because they’re scary and loud and chaotic and there’s AMOGs and they’re annoying and girls are bitches and wah wah wahhhh…it’s such a retarded mentality to get into. I LOVE the clubs, there’s so much energy and everyone’s done up and in a good mood. I’m psyched when I get to go out and I walk in the door with a smile on my face, not because that’s a pickup “move” but because I know I’m going to have a blast.

    “Ya, I think I’m good to just start going out 4-5 nights a week now regardless.”

    If you can do it, do it. Even 20 minutes a night during the week and then keep the big nights for the weekend, is a decent setup if you have a busy schedule. It’s not so much that you approach 50 sets a night, it’s that you go through the motions of “I’m out and I’m social and I approach people and talk to whoever’s around me and that’s just what I do” and build that mentality in your brain.

    I was hanging with a good buddy once, and this guy dominates every room he’s in. Total social butterfly. I was staying at his place once and tagged along with him for his day. EVERYTHING he did involved being social…from chatting with the clerk at the supermarket, to dropping in on a buddy at work not for any purpose, just to drop in and shoot the shit for an hour. So of course when he hits the bar, he’s warmed up and his brain is like “ya, we just talk to everyone around us, that’s how we roll”.

    “I mean, it’s starting to become a little more difficult because I’m getting more social circle invites”

    lol. I remember when you were complaining that no one would invite you out to things and you had to chase them down to get invited…now they’re an inconvenience. :)

    “so sometimes I’m like ‘ya, gotta make an appearance.’”

    What a boss. What girl wouldn’t be attracted to this guy? Just gotta’ reach out and take ‘em.

    “There were several times during the 30 days where I just had to cold approach while in the context of a social circle gathering….so there’s a section of my social circle right now that just loves to razz me/hear my ‘going out cunting’ stories. I don’t mind telling them, because I mean, even if they tease me about them or whatever I don’t give a shit….because I’m way tighter than they are lol”

    lol whatever, that’s normal. You’re doing something that they can’t do…they’re living vicariously through you, and if they give you shit it’s just projecting their own insecurities because you’re at least attempting to do something they wish they could do. But you already know this, because your internals are tight. :)

    “I never drink when I go out. It’s to the point where I’ve gotten so many waters at so many different clubs/bars that bartenders are like ‘lol do you even drink? you just come here, hit on girls, and get some water.’ And I’m like ‘hahaha ya, sometimes I need to hydrate…’”

    lol good man. Keep this up. You’re learning to game “clean”. Every guy who learns to game relying on crutches ends up hitting a point where he gets frustrated at his crutches holding him back and ends up having to start over from the bottom doing what you’re doing from the start. You’re saving yourself a lot of frustration and setbacks down the road by building good habits now. It’s like growing up in a household where your parents cook you healthy meals and instill good dietary knowledge/habits in you…VS growing up in a household where your parents feed you McDonald’s and pizza and twinkies every day. When you get to adulthood and have to handle your own shit, the good-habits guy is going to have a way easier time handling his shit than the twinkies guy who’s going to have to start over from scratch the way he should’ve been taught to from childhood.

The Alpha Male Pose

Original Link

via Heartiste

on June 27, 2013 at 1:01 pm
Original Link

His hands are nice too. he’s got man-hands.

  • PM Me
    on June 27, 2013 at 1:53 pm
    Original Link

    I have his exact body including huge hands. We should meet up.

Why Do Girls Flake?

Original Link

via Heartiste

on June 26, 2013 at 12:00 pm
Original Link

The reason she flakes?

The transaction doesn’t have much value on her side. She percieves you as lower value or you haven’t shown your value to her yet. You need her more than she needs you.

You have to make her invested in the transaction. I think mystery calls this “building comfort.” Humans are inhernetly selfish at their very core. If they don’t think they are getting anything out of something, they won’t really care to do it unless they are forced to do it. And women are not forced to care about your feelings.

Almost every time i flake it’s because I don’t see myself getting much out of the meeting or sit down.

One thing that cures the flake is the abundance mentaility. By having multiple plates you won’t care if she flakes and she will pick up on that and as a resutl, not flake

  • immoralgables
    on June 26, 2013 at 12:27 pm
    Original Link

    “The reason she flakes?

    The transaction doesn’t have much value on her side. She percieves you as lower value or you haven’t shown your value to her yet. You need her more than she needs you.”

    I agree with the overarching theory here but I’m going to add something else.

    Too many guys use the number as a means of fucking the girl. I’m speaking within the context of going on Day 2s and the girl flakes so take this:

    Setup some kind of plan with the girl and use the phone as an means to that end. Not the other way around. I’ve been trying this out again after I went through a Humber collection phase and I think it’s valid. Try to confirm a date or meet up then and there and then “exchange” numbers as an afterthought.

    Too much weight is put on the number itself. Girls give out their numbers ALL the time. How many of you try to setup concrete plans and then get her number. Insert some qualifiers in the plans.

    “You’re not allergic to Tequila are you?”
    “What part of the city do you live in? Oh you live in xyz, I live in zxy. What a shame, I don’t do long distance anymore but we can meet halfway”
    “You’re not high maintenance are you? You seem down to earth”

    1) intent
    2) screen/qualify
    3) setup plan
    4) exchange numbers

    Run your text game as you see fit. I’m speaking to the context of a early-stage intermediate who has gone on a fair share of day 2s and is noticing patterns.

    • YaReally
      on June 26, 2013 at 2:00 pm
      Original Link

      “Too many guys use the number as a means of fucking the girl.”

      A phone number is a failsafe. You go for the insta-date and push for the same night/day lay. Always. If you CAN’T, then you make a solid time bridge and take the number specifically as a way to follow-up on that time bridge and follow it through. It’s a last resort, not an end goal.

      “Too much weight is put on the number itself. Girls give out their numbers ALL the time. How many of you try to setup concrete plans and then get her number. Insert some qualifiers in the plans.”

      This. See my comment in moderation below for more.

on June 26, 2013 at 12:19 pm
Original Link

While I can’t be sure how often other girls flake, I suspect that I am flakier than most. As for the reason that I flake- I’m not that into him.

So, the question we must pose next is why did I accept a date with a guy if I wasn’t that into him?

1. I might have thought about giving him a chance for a second

2. The more likely response is that I accepted the date just to get the guy to stop blowing up my cell with texts. It’s simple- yes, I will go out with you next Tuesday. Tada! No more texts till Tuesday! Then Tuesday comes and 1 hour before the date- I don’t feel like having dinner now. Tired. Can you reschedule? Maybe I’ll get around to that…they get the point. It’s a cowardly mealy mouthed way of “dumping” a guy who is fairly aggressive in pursuing you without directly telling him that you are not interested.

  • YaReally
    on June 26, 2013 at 4:22 pm
    Original Link

    A lot of guys who’d give you shit for this don’t understand just how persistent/annoying a desperate guy can be. Even a Nice Guy. They will never ever ever give up if they think they have an inkling of a chance and even if you flat out refuse them they’ll still keep trying but switch to apologizing or begging forgiveness or getting angry. It’s like trying to get rid of the herp. Girls send me convos between them and other guys all the time making fun of them.

    Your #2 description there is a natural response to these guys…it results in the least hassle/awkwardness (face to face) and most peace for you, in the long run.

    • feministx
      on June 26, 2013 at 7:04 pm
      Original Link

      Lord, I could show you things. I mean 30 indifferent monosyllabic responses in a row can sometimes do nothing to dissuade. I have told guys that they are ugly, that I don’t ever think of them etc and still they blow up my phone with attempts to get it.

      [CH: When a dude is that persistent, it means he doesn't think the girl is out of his league. Calling him ugly won't even help in that situation. He'll just think you're playing hard to get lol.]

      • YaReally
        on June 26, 2013 at 8:12 pm
        Original Link

        Ya, one of the things I’ve noticed when girls send me those txt screenshots is that with me their txts are long and well-written because that’s how I txt and they’re attracted. Then the txts to other guys are like “baby you’re so beautiful” “thx” “can I do blah for you?” “if u want” etc. just completely short half-assed totally uninterested responses.

        And yet the guy will KEEP GOING lol like either just completely oblivious or in total denial, hoping that one day she’ll cave.

        It’s harder being a girl than a lot of guys think.

John Dark
on June 26, 2013 at 12:20 pm
Original Link

I would really appreciate a Yareally comment on this. How does Yareally handle this? Firstly how to ensure she does not flake and secondly how to respond if she does.

  • YaReally
    on June 26, 2013 at 3:41 pm
    Original Link

    Read the stuff I linked below. There’s a lot of calibration involved.

    But my general rules of thumb are:

    1) Girls live in the moment. She can be making out with you in the bar but when you txt the next day you’re starting over from 0…don’t expect to pick up where you left off.

    2) Change her mood, not her mind. Get her emotionally reacting to you, THEN push for the meet-up. Don’t just try to logically convince her or interest her in the meet-up…interest her in YOU, instead. She’s not getting to go skydiving and hanging out with you, she’s getting to hang out with you and going skydiving, nomsayin?

    3) Have a reason to get her number. Make semi-vague plans and THEN get the number under the presence of discussing the plans further (time bridge), or qualify her hard and then allow her to give you her number because she’s earned your interest. Don’t just get a number as an end-goal or to figure out plans later. This is why we have a repeatable Day 2 that we can do with every girl…so you’re on auto-pilot when you say “there’s this awesome cafe by my place that has blah, you have to see it sometime”.

    4) If you can’t fuck her that night, tone it down and hold back or you’ll trigger her ASD and make her flake. If logistics look clear (because you were consciously screening for logistics, right?), go ahead and make out, escalate, grab her #, etc and push for the lay that night. If logistics look like shit (she has to drive her friend home, she has a morning flight, her boss is in the room, etc.), pull back…get the number but don’t kiss her. You can get close and almost kiss her to build the unresolved tension (watch Robbie Williams eye-fucking a reporter on YouTube) but don’t quite do it (or at the most do a quick romantic/sweet short kiss, no hard tongue-down and be the first to end the kiss). She’ll want to resolve the sexual tension you built up and you didn’t go far enough for her to do anything she could be judged for so you didn’t trigger her ASD and she probably won’t flake.

    5) If you’re forced to get her # after triggering her ASD (like you get caught up in the moment and forget to hold back, or she escalates on you too far, or you escalated thinking logistics were clear but get blindsided by a cockblock situ), pull shit way back and practically friend zone her and keep your txts flirty but not sexting…you need to let her ASD settle down by letting her pretend meeting up won’t result in you two fucking. This situ is what causes a lot of “you’re a player aren’t you” and “you just want sex don’t you” bullshit…her ASD is triggered and trying to shit-test you so it can catch you and forbid her from fucking you to preserve its vision of her as a perfect innocent angel.

    6) Always be heading toward a meet-up. Being isolated with her so you can fuck is the goal, not having a new txt buddy you can waste 2 months txting and never get to meet up with you again because you let her think that you’re going to dole out your attention for free because she has tits. Always be moving the interaction forward:

    When guys fuck the stuff I’m describing up, then the girl flakes, then they go “whatever I’m a badass alpha male…NEXT!! lol I sure showed that bitch!!” it’s like no, you could’ve gotten that lay with tighter game, you are either lazy or stupid.

    • Erik Roar
      on June 27, 2013 at 12:26 pm
      Original Link

      Is calibration just a matter of experience? Are there things to look out for, or advice to lessen the learning curve?

      • YaReally
        on June 27, 2013 at 6:00 pm
        Original Link

        Cold hard experience. You have to interact with a lot of different people, and fuck up a bunch, to internalize “this is how someone looks/acts when they’re creeped out, this is how someone looks/acts when they’re attracted, this is how someone looks/acts when they’re mad at me but secretly slightly attracted and could be turned around”.

        Like I could list “when someone smiles, that means they’re happy”, but it would be an insanely long list of mostly obvious stuff…when you’re out interacting with people and paying attention to how you’re making them feel (which is something a lot of guys, especially guys using routines or over-the-top delusional confidence, don’t do), that’s when all the little signals come together to form a “vibe” or “feeling” you can read and calibrate to.

        An example would be like you go in direct, but she isn’t warm right away and kind of leans back slightly and tenses up…okay, that’s too far, so you spot that and lean back and take a step back, possibly even apologize for coming in too hard if she seems shook up enough, then you build some comfort till her body relaxes again and she’s giving iois, then you can go in again.

        This is a fairly solid breakdown of a pickup with a bit on calibration at 7 minutes in:

        He talks about gay people and transitions into BDSM talk which she’s into and plays along so he escalates it, but then he pushes it too far, reads in her body language, voice, tone, etc. that she’s not receptive to going that far, and then he pulls back to normal conversation. That’s something you can’t really describe the nuances of easily, or learn from reading a book…you need to have been in the situation and felt the vibe “shift” and successfully bring the vibe back to normal to really get it.

        Approach approach approach. ;)

  • YaReally
    on June 26, 2013 at 4:08 pm
    Original Link

    Also some personal shit I say:

    “You’re not hammered are you? I don’t want your number if you’re one of those retarded drunk chicks that’s going forget me in the morning because you spent the night barfing curled up to a toilet.”

    “I don’t know, you’re fun, but you seem kind of innocent. I’m a sketchy guy, I would corrupt you. We really shouldn’t hang out.”

    “I’m not mad, I just lose interest fast. If you want a txt-buddy I’m sure there are guys lined up around the block dying to know what you ate for lunch or hear about how Jenny from work is such a bitch.”

    “Sorry, Fri/Sat nights are reserved. Bros before hos and all that. I don’t even know if you’re good in bed yet, you might just lay there like a starfish and use teeth on my little soldier. I’m free Monday if you don’t run off and get married in Vegas this weekend, what time are you off work?”

    “I’ll be out drinking tonight. Txt me later and we’ll drunkenly stumble into eachother, then ditch our friends to go be loud and obnoxious together for last call.”

    I wing most of what I say these days so the wording changes a lot but this is the jist.

Cad and Bounder
on June 26, 2013 at 1:40 pm
Original Link

Anyone who has worked in sales will understand the analogy here. Women flake and sales fall through. Just as with sales, you can analyse the reasons to death but you will never get to a definitive answer. Management’s can only guess at what’s going on but, the bottom line is the sales fell through. Same thing with chicks.

So a blanket argument like ‘you didn’t establish enough value’ etc is never really satisfactory to anyone but an inexperienced player who obviously isn’t adding enough value. None of the suggestions I’ve seen are satisfactory other than ignoring and that only works if the flake was for a genuine reason. You will know this because she will get in touch pretty quick and then suggest another date. The idea of you flaking first is a good one but FFS we are talking about nascent relations and you know how fickle women are given time. La donna e mobile and all that.

I’m going to make an unpopular suggestion here. Try to blow them out but not in a needy/bitter way. My rationale is this. Flaking lowers your value and it kick-starts a time decay in it. Even if it was a genuine reason, the fact that it happened establishes an favourable power dynamic in her mind. Blowing her out when you are at the start of the time decay might have an affect on a certain amount and its probably a higher number than are going to turn around by anything else because the time decay will massively lower your value.

Something like

-sorry I cant make it tonight
-too bad I’m not free for a month now

Now unless there really is no value whatsoever in her eyes, she will start to consider making the date or throw forward suggestions. If she doesn’t then who cares anyway? You might as well try it at your strongest point because the lead is going to be busted anyway.

  • pimpinbluestar
    on June 26, 2013 at 2:59 pm
    Original Link

    Yes. 80/20 rule in full effect. You could play every poker hand by the book with well honed people reading skills, but you still won’t win every hand.

    80% of results will come from 20% of your leads. Some view the 4/5 leads that went nowhere as “wasting time” but in my mind, the work you did on those 4 was both necessary and led you to that 1. While I get the whole 80/20 is anecdotal and not exact, it’s damn close and a good explanation of the breakdown of who is getting what results.

    • Scray
      on June 26, 2013 at 3:40 pm
      Original Link

      I think anyone getting into game should learn how to play poker (NLHE specifically). It makes a lot of the concepts easier to swallow. Outcome independence is the same in poker — just make sure you make the most optimal play, given the situ, to stack your odds as best you can. That’s all you need to do.

      Even aces get cracked 1 out of 5 times from All-in preflop.

      I’d actually just analogize most naturals to a TAG player. Tight, aggressive —- waits for good cards to come along, then he just plays them relentlessly = wait for the AI, then just escalate like no one’s business.

      A PUA is a LAG player. Loose and aggressive — doesn’t wait for good cards, tries to play many hands in the most profitable way possible; comfortable taking huge risks, has to develop extreme hand reading skills because he’s getting into so many different situs = doesn’t wait for AI, develops extreme calibration, takes huge risks in the field bc knows he must DHV traits like guts, social dominance, etc.

      AG/AFC’s are just the people who have no clue wtf is going on.

      While most of the ‘winning’ players at lower stakes are TAGs….the people who dominate the game have mastered LAG.

      Plus, poker is a way cooler hobby than WoW :)

      • YaReally
        on June 26, 2013 at 11:12 pm
        Original Link

        Oddly enough, learning game has improved my NLHE game. I was a very emotional player when I was younger and I would go on tilt easy and play hands just out of boredom and wanting to be “in” the game etc. and play my favorite cards no matter what and chase shit to the end. Needless to say I lost a lot of money lol

        “Outcome independence is the same in poker — just make sure you make the most optimal play, given the situ, to stack your odds as best you can. That’s all you need to do.”

        This was the biggest thing that helped me. I hadn’t played in like 5 years and then played again and noticed that I was no longer attached to the outcome or emotionally invested in the cards. I was naturally playing a much more optimal game and folding cards I’d never have folded before and not being affected by losses OR wins, just sticking to the program.

        It was interesting to see that spill-over into another unexpected area of my life. Combine that new outcome independence with my people-reading skills and I’m actually a solid NLHE player now and win pretty consistently when I occasionally play.

on June 26, 2013 at 1:52 pm
Original Link

One of the common stages that pretty much every PUA goes through is that they learn the “superpower” of realizing that getting phone numbers isn’t a big deal and you can walk into a bar on any given night and walk out with a dozen numbers.

Then they try to call/txt those numbers and every single one of them flakes lol. We don’t even bother telling newbies about this stage coming up because we don’t want to shit on their excitement because that excitement is what propels them to push through this flaking stage.

Anyway, that said, here’s everything you need to know on flaking, figured out and broken down and explained piece by piece by PUAs back in the old days (one of these is by Tyler from 2003 lol):

4 pages on her mentality here:

4 pages on what triggers flakes here:

6 pages on “nine steps to a solid day 2″ here:

Read all 3 of those, they cover everything from why a girl flakes to how to see it coming to how to prevent/minimize it.

As I said in a different comment: “there are butthurt guys who would just say “whatever fuck it she can go with him if she wants, I’d Next that bitch for disrespecting me!!!” But I’m posting this because PUAs like to figure out “how could I turn this seemingly impossible situation around…?” more for the mental exercise and expanding our knowledge-base rather than because we desperately need that particular girl”

Remember, as Tyler once said and as I oft repeat: You can’t Next a girl you haven’t fucked…that’s HER Nexting YOU.

  • Scray
    on June 26, 2013 at 2:29 pm
    Original Link

    ‘You can’t Next a girl you haven’t fucked…that’s HER Nexting YOU.’

    Always loved this line.
    And that’s a lot of really great material.
    But on the real, there just aren’t any shortcuts. I’ve accepted that just reading the shit really isn’t the same as training yourself Pavlov style in the field.

    Like, so many nights when I go home I just think to myself ‘man, I should have done X here, said Y here, escalated here….’ It’s kind of starting to dawn on me how goddamned tight you have to be to pull hot girls from cold approach.

    • YaReally
      on June 26, 2013 at 3:16 pm
      Original Link

      “I’ve accepted that just reading the shit really isn’t the same as training yourself Pavlov style in the field.”

      Read AND train. ;) There’s no point going out every night for a year if you just stumble around blind…go out with a gameplan, just make sure you go out and consciously work on what you read. The guys who came before you went thru the same hard knocks you’re going thru and paved a nice clear path…you still gotta walk it yourself, but don’t run thru the forest aimlessly lol

      “It’s kind of starting to dawn on me how goddamned tight you have to be to pull hot girls from cold approach.”

      No way, man! Remember all the anti-gamers and guys who don’t do cold approach have TOLD us that any guy can get those bar sluts. Any of them could just walk into a bar and take home the hottest girls there because those girls are blindingly drunk and spreading their legs on every table in the bar begging for more STDs. You must really suck if you can’t bang these easy bar sluts that guys who’ve never fucked anything higher than a 6 off a cold approach know they could bang. You should probably just give up, I mean, you’re SHORT too. Everyone knows short guys can’t get laid. Lol

      • Bob Smith
        on June 26, 2013 at 10:47 pm
        Original Link

        It’s not that short guys can’t get laid, it’s just harder for them. One cannot, after all, demonstrate higher value if you’ve been rejected the moment she sets her eyes on you. A woman’s distaste for short men is little different in principle than a man’s distaste for fat women. That one of these may be amenable to self-correction and the other not is of little consequence.

        • YaReally
          on June 27, 2013 at 5:44 pm
          Original Link

          You’re in the wrong headspace. Women are attracted to a man’s presence/value, not his height. Yes, if you’re short and approach like a scared insecure child with a chip on his shoulder, she will rule you out on your height. If you approach with confidence like a boss, she won’t give a shit.

          At 22 seconds into this clip, Tyler takes a tall chick off a taller guy:

          The only reason it’s harder for them is because most short guys have baggage and insecurities built up from a lifetime of being shit on for being short…they sub-consciously believe they SHOULD have a harder time, so they do.

          It’s all mental. The field reveals all.

Freddie Nietzsche
on June 26, 2013 at 3:27 pm
Original Link

Tyler Durden..his approach can be boiled down to this: Behave like a tipsy outgoing somewhat masculine slutty Party Girl.

And that’s about it.

The entire RSD camp is filled with pussies. Any of you ever see the video Tyler posted that included some guy getting in his face when he caught him with his sister? IMMEDIATELY “Sorry im sorry sorry bro ok im sorry” like a faggot. He’s a faggot, Julien’s a faggot, they’re all pussy faggots who pick up drunk 6′s and 7′s and fold the moment they have an actual man in their faces.

  • YaReally
    on June 26, 2013 at 4:11 pm
    Original Link

    To be fair, he was showing the guy’s little sister his cock. I’m not sure the guy was up for much debate lol

    Where are your vids, Badass McManly?

    • Nietzsche
      on June 26, 2013 at 9:58 pm
      Original Link

      Jesus I didn’t even realize that’s what he was doing now I think he’s an even bigger jackass.

      Why would I have to make vids? it has nothing to do with being a “badass”. You have to be a badass to protect your sister (even though she clearly is a worthless trouble maker) or stick to your guns and own up to what you did like a man? I would never behave in this manner and certainly not in a store or on the street, acting like some dumb nigger whipping my dick out for some dumb bitch to see. I try to avoid doing things I would hate myself for doing. If you can look yourself in the mirror after behaving like that, congratulations. There’s faking it till you make it, and projecting the attitude of the Alpha and there’s actually being the Alpha, and when truly pressed, everyone shows their true face, no matter what.

      Henry Kissinger laughs in the faces of people asking him about murderous proposals from 40 years ago. Dick Cheney has a man he shot apologize publicly for being shot by him. These men are Alphas. These men would not flinch.

      Though judging from pictures, I think Cheney doesn’t need to actually whip it out..

      • YaReally
        on June 27, 2013 at 5:34 pm
        Original Link

        The disconnect here (and with Greg and King etc.) is that you don’t seem to understand that you’re the only one who’s concerned about whether any of us have your approval or not. You aren’t high enough value to us for us to give a shit if you fantasize about our dicks as much as you do Cheney’s.

        Like, I know in your head you’re a really important guy, and that’s super neat-o, but to us you’re just some dumbfuck on the Internet who’s girl would be fucking Tyler in the bathroom while you argue about who’s the bigger Alpha.

  • cryo
    on June 26, 2013 at 4:24 pm
    Original Link

    “Any of you ever see the video Tyler posted that included some guy getting in his face when he caught him with his sister? IMMEDIATELY “Sorry im sorry sorry bro ok im sorry” like a faggot.”


    • YaReally
      on June 26, 2013 at 8:06 pm
      Original Link

      About halfway thru:

      What a fag. Tyler probably can’t even talk to girls.

on June 26, 2013 at 4:13 pm
Original Link

as a general rule i will wait until she contacts me on date day. if no contact high likelyhood of a flake,usually i get a hey are we on tonight. then i know shes interested. no contact then next day text her sorry i was soo busy at work i totally forgot about our plans. if shes really hot ill show up early and bring a book and wait but i know she prob is flaking if no contact. if she wants to meet up again claim to be busy or tired n try to get her to come over but generally keep it low effort on my part.

  • YaReally
    on June 26, 2013 at 10:24 pm
    Original Link

    This is a solid M.O. I used to use it and still do, minus the going early with a book part.

on June 26, 2013 at 4:14 pm
Original Link

I tend to experience flaking more with the women who in fact have a thing for me. It seems to be most common with someone I had first-date sex with, which is about 50% of the time lately. I take it as one more shit-test — just another way for a woman to say, “I’m not really this easy, I never do that, and besides, you haven’t been chasing me around the block since we got hot and heavy on that first date, so prove to me you’re interested by wheedling for a make-up date.”

If that’s what I think she’s doing, I just school her in as few unemotional syllables as possible. “Okay, whatever.” I might add, “Self-sabotage much?” The latter seems to wake them up. (FYI, I date a little older than you guys, and these women *know* that they have self-sabotaged themselves into a declining SMP position.) I don’t delete and drop them because 90% come back, which is good, only now I have the “Well, I don’t know, you flaked on me last time” card. And now they have to sell, not I. Usually they’re back selling within an hour or two.

One psycho is *still* coming back after two years of her erratic behavior. Today I asked her,

“You realize that you are acting like a moth? That makes me a flame. I’m not sure what you are trying to accomplish.”

“Do you want to get together or not?”

“I’ll believe it when I see it.”

“What does that mean?”

“You can come over if you want. That way I can at least work on my bike and get something done before you flake again.”

“You’re such a bastard.”

“You contacted me. Also you said that last time, before you fucked me. Conflicted much?”

Then she can make the drive, or not. I’m not going to own her behavior, and this is what traps a flaker. They have to own all of it. Somebody has to be an adult in these situations.

If it’s a first date and she flakes for *any* reason short of a death in the family, I delete them. I’m not interested in hanging out with women whose personal life is out of control. Work, childcare, the gardener ruined the rose bushes, it’s all bullshit. I’m also not interested in passive-aggressive phonies, as Femistx casually describes herself in her flaking strategy.

But again, for me the common situation with a flaker is the woman who has lust *and* feelings, and her firmware has to be hammered like a rusty bolt before there’s any point in conversation. Flaking is a bad habit.

  • CH
    on June 26, 2013 at 4:29 pm
    Original Link

    Sometimes flaking results from the girl feeling like you’re not attainable enough. It’s a preemptive defensive reaction.

    • YaReally
      on June 26, 2013 at 10:49 pm
      Original Link

      Currently in a situ with a super hot early 20s chick, tons of chemistry but logistics fucked us repeatedly and she’s flaked on me 3 times and the 3rd time I got butthurt (I actually LIKED this one…I am a gay lol) so I went with an authoritative “txt me when you get your shit together.” txt. On an older chick, that’ll work, because like someone else in this comment thread mentioned, older women have self-sabotaged before and clue in faster when they’re doing it and smarten up. But this chick is super young and I forgot that at that age they’re all pretty retarded (our logistic issues were stuff like her friend getting too drunk and her not wanting to ditch her in a cab to my place because she thought her friend would be pissed and at her age that’s a big deal whereas when you’re older you know that’s irrelevant drama lol).

      So I was expecting a txt from her after some radio silence but got nothing aside from the “I’m sorry are you mad at me? :( ” txts that night. Then I realized I pushed away too hard. “Cat string theory” is that the string has to feel attainable to the cat…keep it pulled too far away and the cat gives up. Let the cat have it for good and the cat gets bored. Dangle it juuuust out of reach so it feels like it has a chance and it’ll chase that thing to hell and back.

      So after enough time to let my gay feelings die down and having met some other chicks to remind myself not to get all one-itisey, I re-initiated contact with her, but this time I’m giving her contact like we used to, but I’m going to just not respond at all some days for a few days at a time, and leave our conversations suddenly with her hanging waiting for a response or what-have-you.

      She’s sent 6 txts (last 3 are pretending to be mad lol) since my last txt earlier today and I won’t be responding till tomorrow, where I’ll probably just send a “lol” and then she gets radio silence till after the weekend (we used to txt frequently, pretty much daily). So I’m dangling the string instead of yanking it away completely.

      Also going to not suggest a meetup and just game her here and there till she suggests it, then give her a massively hard time about “I dunno, you’re pretty flakey and I’m out with friends right now. Maybe another night.” etc. to solidify it, and probably reject her a couple times before I actually agree to a meetup that’s extremely convenient to me (her coming over, or to a bar I’m already at).

      Will I land her? Maybe, maybe not. But even if I don’t, she was a good refresher for me in cat-string theory. I could’ve let this one die but 1) I still want to fuck her, she’s hot as fuck and smart for her age, and 2) I can’t Next her because we haven’t fucked, so there are still stones to turn over on this one to try to turn it around lol and 3) young chicks flake, that’s just a thing they do, it’s not a big deal to them and shouldn’t be to me (it was to me because I was pretty into her).

      Anyway, there’s a story of YaReally being butthurt and getting semi-one-itis and fucking up, for all my haters reading. Enjoy lol

      • Alex
        on June 27, 2013 at 11:13 am
        Original Link

        Oww. Cute.
        Just curious, how long does a oneitis lasts with you?

        Tried that dark routine with married chicks that you wrote about long ago,
        like pretending you’re helping, or that you’re happy with their arrangements totally works.

        didn’t pulled it to the end, because: damn, that’s just fucked up.
        Newly married and yet pullable like this… Meine Gott.
        And they don’t even try to back off.

        Guys if ther’s any heart left in you, don’t do that to women, and good betas that took them.


        • YaReally
          on June 27, 2013 at 4:37 pm
          Original Link

          One-itis is rare for me these days. This particular girl was scoring off the charts in every category tho, so I was falling into it because I meet hot girls but not many of them impress me intellectually and she was sharp/witty as fuck.

          It’s all good tho, if it works out it works out, if not I’m sure I’ll meet other girls like her in my travels. I’d say it’ll be a solid couple months to land this one, maybe more, just because now I have to pull back and put her on the slow track because she’s flakey and I chased too hard. So I’m basically just lightly keeping in touch until she chooses to make the logistics work when enough other guys disappoint her by not being me lol

          On the married chick stuff, of course it works lol it’s field tested ;) but how far you want to take it comes down to your own ethical/moral lines. To me a guy who doesn’t care about fucking his wife proper is more of a crime than a wife seeking sexual satisfaction elsewhere on the side.

          • YaReally
            on June 28, 2013 at 5:26 am
            Original Link

            Why would I pull her out of her marriage so all her friends and family know? She can just fuck me on the side in secret, then go back with a smile on her face to her sexless (or sexually unfulfilling) marriage to her nice Provider guy who doesn’t care enough about her sexual satisfaction to google how to find her clit. Hell in some cases she might have divorced him and broken up the family just because she hadn’t had a good fuck in years.

            There’s no subterfuge going on on my end, I’m honest with her and she knows I’m only offering a good fuck, no string attached, not going to be her boyfriend, I don’t love her, I have other girls, etc.

            In fact I’ve told girls “Don’t leave your husband for me. Don’t think that if you break up with him we’ll “be together”. If you break up with him you will never hear from me or see me ever again.” because I don’t want to be responsible for her chasing her Hypergamy to the extent that it breaks up her marriage or family.

            I sleep with the clearest of consciences because I live within my own moral/ethical code, not yours. Like I say, to me her husband not putting in effort is doing more damage to their marriage than her fooling around with me…she wouldn’t be interested in fucking me if he was doing his job. If a woman gains 300lbs and stops putting out, her husband will probably cheat on her. If a guy lays around on the couch all day with no ambition and refuses to learn anything about keeping his wife attracted and sexually satisfied, she’s probably going to cheat on him.

          • YaReally
            on June 29, 2013 at 3:15 pm
            Original Link

            My soul thanks you guys for your concern lol

            I don’t believe marriage and monogamy are good for people so I don’t really have any moral qualms with not respecting the concepts. I’m also not religious so I don’t put any stock in marriage from that perspective either. At the end of the day the woman is choosing to step out of a foolish contract social conditioning brainwashed her into entering. If she weren’t banging me, she’d bang someone else.

            And as far as guys to cheat with go, I’m a good choice. I won’t get attached or try to woo her away from her husband and I keep things discreet and I make it clear that I’m not available to fall in love with and I make sure not to see them too frequently to avoid them falling for me quickly and I break it off if I forsee trouble on the horizon that would ruin their relationship.

            And yes, to the dipshit who thinks I take women at their word about their relationships, I’m fully aware that women bullshit and paint themselves the victim. But I have a lot of experience and I do my research on their relationships (to know if I’m getting into a potentially dangerous situation) and yes some women are just selfish assholes fucking up their marriage, but an overwhelming amount of the time their man is dropping the ball either in the bedroom (usually this, most guys are shit in bed, any girl will confirm that lol), or outside of it (acting like a supplicating beta, becoming stagnant in life, etc).

            A woman who believes her man is the best wont cheat on him. Her Hypergamy won’t allow it. She wants to fuck the best man possible to her. If her guy stops being the best man in her eyes, whether it’s his fault or hers, then she starts wandering. You can call me an asshole all you want, this is just how female psychology works. I can’t pick up your girl if she thinks you’re amazing, but when you start acting like a pussy and turning her off, she’ll come knocking for cock.

            So again I say every guy should learn some minimal game and make it a natural part of their life and relationship. They don’t have to be hardcore about it, but they should at least learn not to let themselves get beta-ized into a guy who’s no longer attractive to their wife.

            Or don’t, and blame me for “stealing” the girl you weren’t able to keep. Whatever helps you sleep at night lol

      • feministx
        on June 27, 2013 at 12:31 pm
        Original Link

        Why do you have haters?

        • YaReally
          on June 27, 2013 at 4:41 pm
          Original Link

          When you excel at anything, you earn haters.

          • YaReally
            on June 29, 2013 at 3:16 pm
            Original Link

            No I’m right about everything always. Lol

on June 26, 2013 at 7:27 pm
Original Link

Anyone else think the “gay” response might not give you the best odds in this age when most young women sympathize with the ultra-uptight PC culture?

  • YaReally
    on June 27, 2013 at 12:04 am
    Original Link

    No it’s fine.

    Her being offended and chewing you out for it is like the dress code for bars: it only applies to ugly people.

    When you’re attractive to her and rock solid congruent, you can do anything. You can tell her you work in a baby grinding factory.

on June 26, 2013 at 7:55 pm
Original Link

One method that I’ve heard cuts flakes down drastically that I’m surprised I haven’t heard mentioned in this college of knowllege is simply this: If you have the faintest suspicion she’ll flake then flake on her first. I got that idea from Brent in one of David D’s programs: he did it as a matter of practice to every new girl and if you’ll look at his youtube videos you’ll quickly see that the guy has a stone cold ‘realpolitik’ way of doing things. I have not done this in years but I think I’m gonna again

After flaking on them (how often do you think that happens to them ???) ‘the hamster spins…..’

  • YaReally
    on June 27, 2013 at 5:58 am
    Original Link

    This. Massively recommend it. Ironically but predictably, if you flake first, even if she planned to flake on you and KNOWS she planned to flake, she’ll sometimes go “what!! No one flakes on me!!” and/or “what?! He has better plans than seeing me?? Is it another girl??” and be more driven to make meeting up actually happen.

on June 27, 2013 at 12:36 am
Original Link

Men with options understand female behavior. When you have 2 girls, you schedule them. When you have 10 at various levels of involvement, which is not particularly unusual for a social person in the city, keeping track is impossible. You wind up wherever you wind up.

Put it this way: if you don’t understand female flakiness, it’s because you’ve never flaked yourself. And that’s only because you’ve never had enough going on to stop micromanaging your social life. Give it a whirl, it should be your ultimate goal anyway.

  • YaReally
    on June 27, 2013 at 6:08 am
    Original Link

    Yep. This.

    When I was younger and more energetic, I had rotations of anywhere from 5-10 chicks on the go. My phone would blow up constantly with txts, like literally all day/night long. I’d double/triple book girls and go with whichever one was the easiest and most convenient, or was offering the best stuff (like paying for our drinks or cooking me food etc), and flake on the others legitimately not caring which one I banged that night.

    When you have a lot of attention, you don’t even care if you piss them off because if they get mad and hate you for a while, 1) you’re happy to have one less person you need to txt back and give attention to, and 2) you know they’ll come back eventually even if you don’t do anything lol

    Most girls, even ugly ones, have a bunch of orbiters chasing them. An average to ugly girl will have the same amount of attention I just described…a HOT girl? Multiply that by 10. A 9 or 10 who’s social and goes out a lot? Multiply it by 100.

    And I only had it for a few months here and there AND had to work for it by approaching/closing purposely…a hot girl will have had it thrown at them, just for being hot, since they sprouted titties.

    • Ryu
      on June 27, 2013 at 10:09 am
      Original Link

      YaReally, have you any thoughts in your archive about how to prevent chicks from trying to sabotage you with other girls? I don’t know how you deal with jealousy and psychotic behaviour from chicks who want you all to themselves and will try to fuck up your chances with their competitors– using Facebook to spy on you for example and contact other chicks you’re boning. A second question is then, what do you think of relatively indiscriminately adding chicks you’ve banged to Facebook — asking for trouble? (I know CH exhorts us to jettison fb, but some of us can use it to leverage some social status to our benefit with it).

      Apologies this is a bit off topic.

      • YaReally
        on June 27, 2013 at 4:24 pm
        Original Link

        Time to work on your badass authoritative alpha “tough love” dad side. Snuff bad behavior out with Soft and Hard Nexts:

        It’s important to lay the law down and lay it down hard, to keep your life drama free. I used stuff that went something like “Shhht. No more of that nonsense. These girls are my friends and I care about them, like I care about you. I like spending time with you, but if you’re going to talk shit about my friends and start drama in my life then you can find some other guy…I started seeing you because I thought you WEREN’T drama, that was one of the things I liked about you, but if I was wrong, that’s cool, you can delete my number and find a guy who will put up with that shit.” where it still makes her feel good/special, but gets the point across that talking smack about my other girls and causing me drama are not acceptable behaviors and I am 100% willing to end things if she keeps doing it. And if I end things it’s not “we’ll still keep in touch”, it’s “I’m deleting you, never contact me again, you don’t get ANY part of me or my attention/time/energy.”

        Another method I used now and then that I think I got from Mystery’s stuff is to just act less interested (txt less frequently and use one word answers so she asks “what’s wrong?”) after she does something bad…then when she asks, just act a little confused like “I dunno…I mean, I used to look forward to txting you and seeing you, but after the drama you started on Facebook…I dunno, I guess I’m just not feeling it as much now. I only keep positive people in my life that add to it instead of bring me drama, so it’s hard for me to really be attracted to someone who I know will cause me headaches…I dunno, maybe we should take a break or something…” where here you’re letting her know that her behavior has turned you off, without explicitly laying down the law like a boss…

        The end result is the same with either method, it just comes down to which is more congruent for your personality and the type of girl you’re dealing with and how serious the relationship is etc.

        The jist of all these methods, including soft and hard Nexts, is: she does something wrong, you let her know it was wrong and take away most of your attention (or all of your attention temporarily), she worries about that, you let her know what she did wrong, and if she smartens up you take her back no grudge held, if she continues you take away all your attention forever until she gets with the program.

        I used to let girls post on my Facebook. There are benefits in that they get jealous and you’re socially proofed etc but I found it to be too much drama for me ultimately and I’ve grown enough that all the benefits I used to get from it are things that I naturally exude. ie – I don’t need her to see pics of me with other women, she just assumed because I’m so attractive to her that I must have other women, know what I mean?

        I have a VERY low threshold for drama tho…I like my life nice and peaceful. So calibrate to yourself…some guys don’t mind drama, and some guys thrive on drama lol

on June 27, 2013 at 4:45 am
Original Link

So, I was at HR today . post game I befriended a dude at HR. So there’s a chick that sits at the adjoining table. Now I was chilling around with him and teasing him and she says to him.
” doesn’t he look like X ”
The hr guy says
“X ya know”
I interject
“X who”
” oh you look exactly like him, he used to work here a couple of years ago”
And somewhere inside me a voice says IOI so I instinctively say
“You know you actually have it the other way around”
And I could sense a whiff of attraction and the first thing my mind says
“Damn yareally said I would have the ball in my hand what do I do fuck!!!!!!!”
I decide to end the interaction a little while later because
A)it was HR all around me
B) she works at HR
C) I will be seeing her again. Whatever happens
D)I need tighter game
Stuff I am proud of
” good calibration and acuity ”
Than guys

  • YaReally
    on June 27, 2013 at 5:51 am
    Original Link

    Yep, ioi. Whenever a girl tells me I look like someone else I say something cocky/funny like “Lucky him.” or “He looks just like ME? He must be RIDICULOUSLY handsome. What a lucky guy.” and depending on the environment (ie – I wouldn’t so it at the office if that’s what you mean by HR lol) I’ll throw in “I hope for his sake he doesn’t also have my tiny penis.”

on June 27, 2013 at 6:55 am
Original Link

Lol’ed at this from another forum. This is an exaggeration for an average girl, but for those smokin hot hired guns it’s not far off from reality ’cause I’ve known girls like this before. This is what it’s like to be a hottie in her prime these days, esp working a social job…if this was your life daily, ya, you’d probably be a little flakey now and then too:

“The Reality of a Hot 20yo Girl:

Wake up 8:00 – check text messages
two girl friends text
5 guys, 3 of which she met last night have text asking “hey, what’s up”, “long time no talk” “you are so beautiful” and “we should go out soon”
2 missed calls but she doesn’t know the number

8:30 – check Facebook
only 37 likes on last self bathroom picture
7 emails from guys saying, “hey, what’s up”, “long time no talk” “you are so beautiful” and “we should go out soon”
43 new pictures from friends. How did her picture get more likes than mine?
awwww, mom said hi – hi mom
hits like button 9 times
comments on 3 post

9:10 – check Instagram
5 new followers
slutty picture of her and three guys at the bar added
4 new messages saying “hey, what’s up”, “long time no talk” “you are so beautiful” and “we should go out soon”
oh I want those boots/skirt/top/nails/ring/car/lipstick, etc.

9:45 – check email
152 new emails – 29 are notifications from social media sites
one past due notice
47 are special shopping deals on boots/skirt/top/nails/ring/car/lipstick, etc
1 old ex boyfriend wrote to say “long time no talk – we should go out real soon” – ughhh why can’t he move on
3 emails from other guys including the 60 year old self proclaimed photographer that wants her to model for him – she can have the pictures free if she does
1 email from old boss saying “long time no talk – we should go out real soon”

10:20 – hits the shower to get ready for class
hair – 37 minutes
makeup – 22 minutes
looking for clothes to wear – 49 minutes
putting on shorts and tank top – 30 seconds
300 garments left around the room

12:08 – hungry but nothing to eat

12:09 – checks text messages, Facebook and Instagram
1 text from guy saying “why won’t you text back”
5 text from guys saying “hey, what’s up”, “long time no talk” “you are so beautiful” and “we should go out soon”
Jenny wants to party tonight
9 new likes on slutty bar picture
3 new followers

12:10 – drinks a Redbull and eats 3 crackers

12:30 – makes math class
3 guys say “hey, what’s up”, “long time no talk” “you are so beautiful” and “we should go out soon”
1 guy keeps starring at her but when she looks at him he looks down
professor keeps looking at her tits

1:25 – checks text messages, Facebook and Instagram
2 new guys text “hey, what’s up”, “long time no talk” “you are so beautiful” and “we should go out soon”
Tracy got new boots – she wants new boots – mood ruined for 15 minutes
4 new likes on slutty bar picture
takes self shot sitting in class, post to Facebook and Instagram “School is sooo boring – Margaritas tonight”

1:30 – Feminist Teacher Arrives
Spends the next hour learning why all men are dogs, *******s, liars and rapist
Natural conclusion – if we get rid of men life is better
hates men – mood ruined for 45 minutes

2:25 – checks text messages, Facebook and Instagram
2 text from guys saying “why won’t you text back”
1 text from guy saying “hey, what’s up”, “long time no talk” “you are so beautiful” and “we should go out soon”
12 new likes on slutty bar picture – mood better
1 new follower
only 5 new likes on self class picture with 3 comments of “hey, what’s up”, “long time no talk” “you are so beautiful” and “we should go out soon”

3:45 – gets ready for work
hair – 14 minutes
makeup – 10 minutes
looking for clothes to wear – 22 minutes
putting on shorts and tank top – 30 seconds

4:30 – makes work at local bar/tavern/restaurant
checks Facebook, Instagram and Text messages 57 times
4 text from guys saying “why won’t you text back”
7 text from guys saying “hey, what’s up”, “long time no talk” “you are so beautiful” and “we should go out soon”
3 guys she gave her number to at work that night text saying “hey, what’s up”, “long time no talk” “you are so beautiful” and “we should go out soon”
14 new likes on slutty bar picture
3 new follower
7 new likes on self class picture with 3 comments of “hey, what’s up”, “long time no talk” “you are so beautiful” and “we should go out soon”
27 guys at work say “do you have a boyfriend”, “I would treat you better than him” “you are so beautiful” and “we should go out”
1 guy offers to take her to the lake on Saturday
2 guys offer to take her on a motorcycle trip on Sunday
1 guy offers to take her to dinner Friday night
3 guys offer to tip her very big if she will – pose for a photo/give her number/go out with them
2 guys want her to go to a party when she gets off work and smoke 420
1 guy offers her X
1 guy says to give him her number so he can get her NFL tickets
1 guy offers to let her drive his vette
1 manager pinches her ass
3 guys pinch her ass
7 guys touch her in a creepy way
27 guys try to hug her bye
2 waiters say “hey, what’s up”, “long time no talk” “you are so beautiful” and “we should go out soon”
1 other waitress is mad at her because she wore the same black high heels and it was supposed to be her turn – mood ruined for 15 minutes
gives her number to 7 new guys – 5 so they would leave her alone and stop asking, 2 because they were cute – mood is better
has her picture taken 31 times by customers and staff

10:30 gets off work – heads to club with friends
checks Facebook, Instagram and Text messages 57 times
takes 17 new pictures – post 1
1 text from guy saying “why won’t you text back”
7 text from guys saying “hey, what’s up”, “long time no talk” “you are so beautiful” and “we should go out soon”
2 new likes on slutty bar picture
3 new followers
has 18 offers to buy her drinks
accepts 5 offers because she was empty
has to signal girlfriend to save her from creepy guy that bought the last drink and keeps saying he can “see his children in her eyes”
33 guys stare at her
21 guys approach her and say “do you have a boyfriend”, “I would treat you better than him” “you are so beautiful” and “we should go out”
1 guy offers to take her to the lake on Saturday
2 guys offer to take her on a motorcycle trip on Sunday
1 guy offers to take her to dinner Friday night
3 guys offer to tip her very big if she will – pose for a photo/give her number/go out with them
2 guys want her to go to a party when she gets off work and smoke 420
1 guy offers her X
1 guy says to give him her number so he can get her NFL tickets
1 guy offers to let her drive his vette
3 guys grab her ass
gives her number to 7 new guys – 5 so they would leave her alone and stop asking, 2 because they were cute

Goes home and before she closes her sleepy eyes at 2 am she checks text messages, Facebook and Instagram
two girl friends text
5 guys, 3 of which she met that night have text asking “hey, what’s up”, “it was nice meeting you” “you are so beautiful” and “we should go out soon”
2 missed calls but she doesn’t know the number

Many of you may think I am exaggerating, and you would be wrong. This is the reality of any 20 something girl that I know who is in college or has a job where she interacts with people in a social setting. This is the amount of male attention she gets every single day.

And this is good news and bad news. The bad news is if you aren’t overly confident, radiating raw masculine sexuality and creating attraction feelings in her, you become just one of the 100 men a day who feed her ego with little to nothing in return. She “likes” that you text her, and send her little jokes, tell her she is beautiful, and offer for her to do things. But she doesn’t **** “likes.”

The good news is just by realizing this as her reality, you can now standout from the crowd. Do something different, in a good way. Challenge her, verbally spare with her, tell her no and give her those sexual tension feelings she wants.

Truth is, she wants to find a guy that has higher value than herself, someone to make her FEEL attraction and sexual tension. And with so many guys, day in and day out, telling her she is beautiful, hot, sexy wonderful and asking her out or for her number – over and over in every corner of her life: school, work, social media and social she becomes oblivious to it. She literally becomes immune and that type of attention doesn’t even register on her radar. You may think just asking for her number makes you stand out, but if you do it exactly like everyone else you aren’t even going to register in her conscious mind.

I know many guys do not have much confidence. It takes a lot of courage for the average man to even try some of this stuff. So I have one little easy task for you to try. The next time you go to eat and the sexy waitress takes you to a table and says, “How about this one?” Look her in the eye and say, “No (pause) I would rather have that one.”

You aren’t likely to see attraction, but you will likely see respect. That is how little a man says “no” to a girl in our society. Try it, let me know what you see.”

The unfortunate part of it all is that the the main reason she views herself as so high value isn’t that she’s inherently a conceited evil bitch, it’s that other guys are so fucking lame, desperate, horny, have so little game, and all think running Nice Guy orbiter game will get them in her pants sooner or later, that her value is inflated like crazy, and it’s even worse now with social media, online dating sites, and txting…in the old days a girl only had the bootlicking of guys around her and they had to do it face to face lol.

The next gen of guys will have to evolve Game to handle the realities of modern tech (“when to Like a Facebook status?” etc). I was in the community when we transitioned from phone calls to txting…we used to stress the importance of calling all your #s, but now if you phone a girl you haven’t banged yet, a lot of <23yo girls won't even pick up because no one in their generation calls, everyone txts. I was one of the early adopters of txt game cause I hate talking on the phone lol…but I don't have a clue what Tumblr and Instagram and shit even ARE. That works okay for me cause I'm old so they don't expect me to know it, but a 20yo guy studying game right now must have his work cut out for him.

on June 27, 2013 at 10:39 am
Original Link

Good thread, this is really important.

So… I’ve been dealing with massive flakery lately too. NYC hotties in the summer? Forget it. Too many options, too many bars, too many parties. I have 5-7 girls in play, banging 2 (a 7.5 and an 8.5) so I’m not overly needy. The ones I never get together with for a first date don’t bother me, as many above have said… comes with the territory, #s mean nothing.

What irks me to no end, which I am having trouble figuring out how to handle, is when I take a girl out, buy her drinks, have a fun night, AND make out with her… and THEN she bails. Either vanishes or writes an apologetic “Sorry this isn’t going to work out”. Now, I am aggressive, confident, go for the make out early and often, and so am probably perceived as a player. I get that. But what frikin’ KILLS me, just tortures me, is that without fail, its ALWAYS the hottest girls who do this to me. Mid 8s and up. Its happened 3 times in the past 6 months: 24-26 year old hotties used me for a fun first date, and then disappeared. And after pretty fierce makeout sessions with all 3. One was a lawyerbitch so you know, fuck her, but the other 2… grrr.

Here’s my conundrum: I’m a fairly high-status male, but I don’t have unlimited resources. I don’t date hipster/feminist whatever types who pay their own way. So obviously, I want to close when I make an investment. Is there any way, at all, to KNOW when you should basically not go for it right away, let the tension build, keep her guessing, string her along etc as many above have suggested? Because being patient is all good in theory on a blog post. But I operate in real life, in real bars with real alcohol mixing with the testosterone in my system. I basically kiss girls at the first opportunity. Should I not? Should I not … with hotties only? This analysis is complicated by the fact that I have closed a few hotties by the 2nd date with my aggressive tactics.

But this post makeout flake… ugh… its killing me. Killing my confidence and my commitment to going after hotties.

Would love to hear advice/comments esp. from femx, gables, yareally.

  • YaReally
    on June 27, 2013 at 4:03 pm
    Original Link

    1) don’t make out hardcore with her till the logistics are clear to escalate it to fucking her in that interaction. Escalate too far (heavy makeout) without being able to seal the deal all the way (P in V) and she’ll flake next time because her ASD has kicked in. If the logistics aren’t clear for going all the way, don’t do more than a light quick kiss and break it off first…you’ve planned these Day 2′a out logistically right? So that they lead back to your apartment smoothly? You’re not just winging it or picking bars that are difficult to get back to your place right?

    2) Serious question: why are you not fucking them on the first date? If you have enough attraction to make out, you have enough attraction to fuck her that night…where are you dropping the ball between the makeout and the bedroom that night?

Compendium Of Female Super Shit Tests

Original Link

via Heartiste

on June 25, 2013 at 1:39 pm
Original Link

My favorite reply to “I have a boyfriend” is always “I have an uncle with 5 cats.” Usually they laugh or get flustered, and I just continue ‘okay, your turn….this is a fun game. What else do you have? Do you have cats? Please don’t have cats, cause I’m more of a dog person…..blah blah blah blah.”


What about “Wait, what is THIS” or “Who ARE you?” usually dropped when you open and transition strong and the girls rapidly get into state. For the first one, I tend to go with “a conversation, do you have them often?” But for the second one, I’m not really sure what an ideal response would be — “you’ll find out soon enough?”

Ya, I kno it doesn’t matter -what- you say….but it’s easier to have confident, cool delivery when you already know the score. Confidence flowing from competence, blah blah.

Uh, what about “My [parental figure] would love you/you would get along so well with my dad/etc.” Wtf is this? I’d dismiss it as just a compliment or a weird diss save the fact that it’s happened a few times.

“Stop staring at me” is a lot like “why do you keep looking at me”
I’ve always just gone with “oh….well you have an interesting face. I’m not sure if I like it yet.” I don’t know how effective it is, but it did blast open a set last night. Will field test moar. I’ve said similar things before about earrings/accessories…but never about someone’s face. It works pretty well overall when I say it about accessories.

  • YaReally
    on June 26, 2013 at 8:41 am
    Original Link

    “I’ve said similar things before about earrings/accessories…but never about someone’s face. It works pretty well overall when I say it about accessories.”

    Careful with this. To paraphrase David DeAngelo: She can’t choose her face, but she can choose better accessories. Compare how Old Scray would’ve reacted to “you’re too short” VS “that’s a terrible shirt”…one would be like “well fuck you then!” and the other would be like “I have better shirts at home I swear!!” lol

    • Scray
      on June 26, 2013 at 1:34 pm
      Original Link

      ya I mean, in that one set where it opened them I did preface it with “okay now, don’t get offended or take this the wrong way…are you sure you want to know why?”

      I def want to do it more though….hopefully no one throws a drink on me. But if they do….welp, :)

      Maybe: “okay now, don’t get offended or take this the wrong way….you sure you want to know? Okay….so I think your face is interesting….like, I’m not really sure if I’m attracted to it. It’s attractive, but I’m not really sure if I’m attracted. Which is interesting, that’s never really happened before lol”

      I will try it like this the next time I run into that shit test.

      • YaReally
        on June 26, 2013 at 11:56 pm
        Original Link

        “hopefully no one throws a drink on me”

        Open your mouth as they do and bam, free drink!

        Routine is a decent start, the preface helps remove the insulting part of it AND builds intrigue, so that’s good.

        But what/how will you transition and to what, to head towards a lay? ie – you’re not giving her much to work with so her response will probably be “umm okayyyy…? Is that a good thing or…?” She’s not going to be like “omg an interesting face?? Please let me suck your dick!!”

        Listen to Tyler explaining the 90/10 rule in his old RSD 2 hour seminar audio (google it, easy to find, I’m on my phonr lol) where he coaches the guy through the 90/10 rule and has him go from “you have beautiful skin….(“thanks! ….thankyouuuu….??”)” expecting her to contribute, and coaches him into transitioning into a story about ancient amazon women using blah on their skin to blah, where now he’s offering value and become interesting and from THERE she might go 50/50.

        Basically where can you take this “you have an interesting face” that will progress the interaction toward a lay? Why is it interesting? What does it remind you of? How can you lead toward something sexual with it?

        So I might say something like “ya, it’s your chipmunk cheeks, they reminds me of this girl back in high school that I used to have a huge crush on. She broke my heart, so I don’t think this relationship is going to work out. The wounds are too fresh, it’s not you, it’s me. We should keep our relationship to shallow meaningless sex so I don’t get hurt again.”

        Or “ya it’s the way you bite your lip…I have a feeling you’re not as innocent as people think you are. ;) (to her friends) Girls, she’s actually the bad girl of the group, isn’t she.”

        etc etc. basically I’m taking your bit and then using it to transition to sexual talk and future projection and role playing and cold-reading etc. vs “you have an interesting face.” “Is that good?” “I dunno I haven’t decided yet…” “…okayyy…? Thanks…?” “…” “…” “So umm what’s your name?”zzzzzzzzz…

        Always be leading toward your goal. Right from the start.

on June 25, 2013 at 2:31 pm
Original Link

A compendium of statements that are *not,* in fact, shit tests—and should be taken at face value:

1. “I’m sorry, but my friend is going through a hard time right now and we’re kind of busy talking through it.” As my friend wipes at her mascara and blows her nose. (He would not leave us alone and eventually we just paid our check and left to get away from him.)

2. “I’m here with my boyfriend; he’s just at the bar getting drinks and he will be back any second.” (This one, by the by, came very close to fisticuffs.)

3. “Get your goddamn hands off me right now.” (He got frog-marched out by a bouncer who had apparently been watching the whole thing.)

None of the above would have had to go as far as they did if the men in question had been keeping an eye on my body language. A woman who is cradling a sobbing friend can’t talk to you right now, even if she wants to. A woman whose arms are crossed, torso twisting away from you, does not want you to approach any further and doesn’t want to be touched. A woman whose eyebrows are drawn together in a scowl, lips pressed into a livid, hard line, is genuinely angry and probably about to start yelling (if you’re lucky).

[CH: What's with the spiteful ire? No one here claimed any of these were shit tests. Check your misplaced feminist rage. As for any man unable to take the above hints... it's safe to say those guys have no game.]

  • Scray
    on June 25, 2013 at 3:04 pm
    Original Link

    lol who would ever think that those are shit tests?

    • YaReally
      on June 25, 2013 at 5:40 pm
      Original Link

      Newbie PUAs who haven’t learned calibration yet lol. The first few months can be really embarrassing/face-palming to be around depending on how socially inept they’re starting out.

on June 25, 2013 at 3:07 pm
Original Link

It seems the formula for dealing with SSTs is:
1) Cleverness
2) Maintaining composure and dominance
3) Reversals (going from being “in trouble” to escalation.)

In fact, this is exactly the point of SSTs, to see if you are smart and strong. They’re merely auditions. Treat them as such. Put on a show.

I’ve had some success in just calling women’s emotional bluffs. If they get super charged with feelings out of nowhere, it’s usually a bluff and can be put down easily by coming back at them even harder. They’re never ready for that.

  • Scray
    on June 25, 2013 at 3:21 pm
    Original Link

    This x 1000. The whole “James Bond” ignore thing only works if you’re already high value. When you get shit tested, you should always be aiming to crush the ball. You have to take the risk.

    • cryo
      on June 25, 2013 at 3:27 pm
      Original Link

      What Bond movies are you watching? He always has a witty retort for shit-testing bitches.

      • Scray
        on June 25, 2013 at 3:56 pm
        Original Link

        Ya, you’re right…I just think a lot of guys miss the ‘wit’ part and focus on the ‘cool’ part. So when I say “James Bond,” I’m just saying what I see out in the field…dudes decked out looking cool, holding up their drinks, trying real hard to project DGAF without saying anything ever, etc.

        • YaReally
          on June 26, 2013 at 8:43 am
          Original Link

          Ya, this is what I mean when I refer to guys being “James Bond”.

on June 25, 2013 at 3:15 pm
Original Link

Years ago I lost a buddy over failing to read a girl’s signals. I was a lonely 26-yr old who decided to finally sack up and talk to a girl. I don’t remember what I was saying to her but looking back I’m sure it was try-hard as I was doing most of the talking. Thought she seemed interested, and with the music blaring I heard her say lets get a drink. Apparently she said SHE was getting a drink b/c when I followed she turned and said “you’re still here?” Beta panic set in. I just sheepishly apologized and quickly bailed. Thought that was the end of it.

Later on I’m talking with my acquaintance and up walks the girl. She asks him “you know this guy?” “Yes” he replies. She smirks, “well tell your horny friend he needs to control himself.” He bursts into laughter as I feel my face warming with humilation. Now while I don’t recall exactly what I was saying to her earlier, I know it wasn’t remotely sexual. I was far too cowardly for that; it was just innocuous nice guy blather – boring maybe but in no way (IMHO) warranted this response. I feel it was a response to my following her, and she wasn’t about to settle for my apology.

My buddy goes on to flirt with her and she continues to bash me with lines like “at least SOMEONE knows how to talk to a girl” etc.. I wasn’t saying anything. I was actually fighting tears lol. He spread the story to anyone who would listen and thus ended our friendship.

Whoever that girl was, she successfully got a timid guy to go back into his shell for years. However, the rage I felt over that incident eventually drove me to improve myself so I suppose I should thank her for that.

[CH: Moral of the story: Girls will give no quarter to niceguy betas. So you may as well play around with them.

Don't worry anymore. Your redemption is here in the hallowed halls of Le Chateau.]

  • Scray
    on June 25, 2013 at 3:44 pm
    Original Link

    ‘My buddy goes on to flirt with her and she continues to bash me with lines like “at least SOMEONE knows how to talk to a girl”’

    lol it’s so cool how like…….girls say the same shit across cities, populations, etc. I’ve heard something similar. Granted, this was in the context of me busting on a girl and a nearby beta orbiter being all nice and giving her validation —> “THAT is how you talk to someone with a vagina.”

    “Oh, you have a vagina?” (smirk)

    Anyway….yaaaaaaaa it sux brah. It’s so cool though….reading your thing, my mind was like ‘man I’d do this here, I wonder what would happen….’
    When she said “you’re still here?” —- “ya you’re buying me a drink I thought.”
    Or, when she said this: “well tell your horny friend he needs to control himself.” my immediate thought would be to laugh ‘ya man she’s totally right, (pantomiming jackoff motion) I should just (then just pantomime jizz exploding all over her) OH SHIT, SORRY. I DID IT AGAIN! I’m so sorry, but sorry-I’m-not-sorry! Phew. That was great. I hope you keep in touch tho. (turn to friend) she’s all yours bro. Our time, however brief, was splendid.”

    lol I may just fucking follow a girl around tonight after saying ‘hi’ just hoping for her to say something about it….just so I can respond ‘ya you’re buying me a drink, rite?’

    I may never get to try that exact response to ‘tell your horny friend…” tho. :(
    It seems solid, but idk! I did that as part of the ‘jizz opener’ but that was a diff context.

    Good luck on your journey!

    • Mitch Cumstein
      on June 25, 2013 at 6:03 pm
      Original Link

      The jackoff joke just comes off as butthurt.

      • Scray
        on June 25, 2013 at 6:13 pm
        Original Link

        o rly?
        well Mitch, guess I’ll go try it out tonight and we’ll see. My wager is that apologizing for invisible jizz is hilarious (to me at least) and that it’s impossible to be butthurt when you’re on the verge of cracking up. BUT da FIELD WILL REVEAL ALL

        • Mitch Cumstein
          on June 25, 2013 at 10:38 pm
          Original Link

          No no, I didn’t mean the gesture. I meant if you surround it with all that speech, it’s too much. Whereas if you do the pantomime and make a few awkward sounds, you should be gold.

          Make no mistake: I’m also a fan of that gesture and it’s worked for me before. Godspeed.

          • YaReally
            on June 26, 2013 at 3:07 am
            Original Link

            lol nah, the way he described it is solid. It would come off more butthurt like an angry “well fuck you then” without all the words. I only say this cause my style of game is extremely verbose so that’s the kind of thing I would do.

            Good stuff Scray, you’ve come a long way lol

    • Turk
      on June 26, 2013 at 7:19 am
      Original Link

      All you had to say was:

      “I only stalk fit bitches” or

      “You’re not fit enough for stalking”,

      and immediately start talking to a (preferably) much fitter girl nearby so she can see this. If you really want to annoy her point out a flaw with her face or body or clothing etc “Maybe if you didnt have so much acne i might have considered stalking you”

      • YaReally
        on June 26, 2013 at 8:45 am
        Original Link

        This is one of those “sounds like a cool burn in my head, but in reality it’s butthurt AND burns down a situ that completely could’ve been a lay” things. There are a lot of these in this comment section lol

        Remember guys: it might sound like a good zing, and it might be a fun story to tell your buddies about how you totally “owned this bitch this one time”, but you’re tossing away a lot of lays you could’ve gotten if you hadn’t been so reactive/insecure and instead stuck to game principles.

  • Lara
    on June 25, 2013 at 4:14 pm
    Original Link

    Honestly, she may have been trying to flirt with you. It kind of sounds like it.

    • YaReally
      on June 26, 2013 at 3:14 am
      Original Link

      Yep. This.

      It’s like how socially awkward guys don’t get that men bust on eachother as a show of affection/respect. So they think their alpha bro is as asshole when often he actually just expects them to be able to keep up and be confident enough to understand shit-talk is a bonding friendship thing.

      But as an AFC you take everything literally and a thousand worst-case scenarios go thru your head for everything, like what happened with the OP here.

      • YaReally
        on June 26, 2013 at 3:54 am
        Original Link

        Also on a psychological side note, as a guy who’s been shot down in front of his buddies much worse a ton and watched the alphas REPEATEDLY telling the stories to anyone who will listen because they know certain stories legitimately embarrassed me and that it would get to me and throw me off and ruin my night (what assholes, right? Keep reading lol…):

        The reason you took it personally is that your Ego (the Freudian one, tho I’m shitting all over his actual definitions just to make the point faster lol) took itself too seriously. It built up an Identity of “I’m a gentleman who respects women and would never be one of those creepy horny bar guys who wants to get in a girls pants!” and she and he both dug the needle right into that nerve on you, so you reacted terrified, embarrassed, angry, frustrated, humiliated, etc and instinctively your Ego tried to defend itself and keep that Identity together.

        Every time your friend repeated tha story, it was like another little “see this guy’s Identity he’s so proud of and has tried to project to you all? It’s a LIE, he’s a horny little creeper!!!” and brings those feelings back.

        The same thing was happening to me when I was a few years into pickup and fancied myself an expert with women. My Ego built up the Identity of “I’m someone who’s good with women” so every time they told the stories, especially to other alpha males and women I was attracted to, it was like another needle jabbing that “he’s not REALLY good with girls lol” nerve that only existed because I was a prisoner of my own Ego.

        Consider it a lesson in humility they’re sub-consciously trying to teach you about not taking either yourself and/or picking up girls so seriously, and being able to laugh at yourself.

        Your friend wasn’t necessarily a dick…you were just trapped in an Identity that you took too seriously. In the end its worked out for you at least, so in a way it’s good that I happened, but I know you felt like shit at the time…in my AFC days I actually did the accidental/misunderstanding creepy-follow once too, to a social circle girl during the daytime no less lol.

        Now when my friends bring up the stories that used to frustrate and embarrass me and ruin my night, I just laugh them off and go “ya it was brutal. I suck with girls, no wonder I’m still a virgin. :( ” and it doesn’t phase me at all because I’m no longer trapped by that Identity.

        Just wanted to explain this dynamic because of all the “your friend is a douchebag who doesn’t respect bros before hos” responses…technically, your friendship ended because at that point in your life you hadn’t grown an internal frame strong enough to not put your worth into the Identity your Ego created.

        Also this concept is part of how I hold my own in the high-end clubs with jacked ripped 6-pack tall rich expensive suit wearing AMOGs. I know they’ve spent and spend so much of their life constructing their outward Identity/appearance of being a rich successful guy who’s good with women etc, and are trapped by their Ego into taking that Identity too seriously, so all I have to do to shake their frame/confidence is poke them with one little niggling doubt about themselves, like not being impressed about the thing they’re trying to impress myself and/or the girls with, or downplaying what they’re proud of to the girls so the girls stop valuing it as well.

        ie – something like “wow man you’re ripped that awesome. You must spend all day in the gym hey, you must be going for a 2am workout after the bar tonight to stay that jacked lol I wish I had that kind of dedication but I’m a lazy fuck (pat my belly and make the girls rub it). I love good food too much, I have to get a steak when I’m at a restaraunt, I’d be embarrassed to order a salad lol you got way more balls than me man”. So in that bit, I’ve made him look like a salad ordering gym nut, and self-depreciated to contrast how I don’t take myself seriously (aka I’m more confident), AND I did it in a way where I’m actually complimenting him so he can’t even get mad at me…he’s stuck in Check wondering why the girls are patting my belly going “noooo I like your belly its cute!!” when I technically just told them how much better than me he is so logically they should want him more lol.

        So there I’ve removed the value from one of the pillars he’s built his Identity around, in both my eyes and the girls’ eyes, and his Ego reacts butthurt (even if he doesn’t lash out at me, which he can’t because I complimented him, his state drops) and he loses the girls to me.

        Sometimes if he’s frustrated enough he’ll try to tool me on my looks or money etc, something he puts value on so he thinks I’ll put value on, but 1) he’s just reacting to me at that point so he sabotages himself further in the girls’ eyes because the higher value person is the one who reacts less to the other person, and 2) I don’t build my self-worth around those external things so I’m not phased by it and will join in making fun of myself and be self-depreciating because I know my worth internally and know it has nothing to do with whatever he’s making fun of…the end result is if he does this, he takes himself from Check with the girls and puts himself in Check-mate and it’s over.

        (if he’s a nice dude, I’ll back off and build his value up again for him and try to take the girls together and make a new buddy, but if he’s a dick I’ll just walk the girls away from him…they’ll follow me because I have all the high-value at that point)

        This is the subtle art of the AMOG. :)

        • YaReally
          on June 26, 2013 at 10:11 am
          Original Link

          This concept is also why negging/teasing girls works btw. You’re taking the thing they built their Identity around (their looks) and being unimpressed/unaffected by it and tossing away its value, and looking at different channels to determine her worth. Her Ego freaks out because a lot of hot girls haven’t had to form an Identity beyond their looks so the insecurity/fear of someone basically saying “What ELSE ya’ got?” makes them feel exposed and vulnerable.

          This is why girls will keep trying to return to the “you chasing them” frame with shit-tests, because that assuages their Ego/Identity of “I’m a hot girl and valuable because of that!”

      • Hugh G. Rection
        on June 26, 2013 at 5:59 am
        Original Link

        Hard to say after so much time went by. In any case, a friend would help him out, not humiliate him further to try advance his station. Of course women love this brand of cruelty. I’m a scumbag but I don’t think I would do that to a friend, at least not with him knowing. Unless she’s really hot.

        • Scray
          on June 26, 2013 at 12:55 pm
          Original Link

          Nah man, most guys *don’t* get it. Even the worst anti-gamers don’t get it. I’ve come to accept this.

          For example, I got invited out with some friends the other night, and there’s this one guy there — total anti-game.

          Annnnyways….I talk to this 2 set (I tend to follow the 3 second rule wherever I go now….but in social circle gatherings I just keep it more casual) of a 6 and a 4. So, by chance I set up this whole thing where if they can beat us in pool (me and the AG…unfortunately my other friend — the solid, good wing was indisposed) I’d tell them my name. So far so good, yaaaaaa.

          AG instantly waltzes in, tries to cut me off from the hot one. Ok, I think, whatever, let him go for it. AG then attempts to AMOG me by trying to fuck up the little games I play with the girls —>

          Me: so ya, before I tell you my name (they won….AG is terrible at pool…fucking useless lol) you should guess, what do I look like?
          Girls: (start having fun with it, yaaa….easy shit) Josh…..oh wait, Bobby, oh wait…..
          AG: Heh heh, you look more like a Perez to me
          (now both girls laugh at this and in my mind I’m like ‘wtf, is this motherfucker trying to step TO ME?’)
          Me: (with faux indignation) I live in a post-racial world, and you’re being a little too pre-post-racial right now. (not looking at AG, then I waggle my eyebrows) having said that….I’m clearly a Sanchez — buenos dias.

          Later I’m guessing what they do….classic routine where I just guess the most ridiculous things. Here comes AG

          AG: ya, no you’re way off with this. They’re not even close to being zookeepers
          Me; (to girls) You mean to say you aren’t zookeepers? (grin) Say it ain’t so.

          I was focusing on the 4, just trying to be a good wing….just letting him talk to the 6 — he’s getting nowhere with his boring bullshit. Like, they exchange a line or two of dialogue before the 6 refocuses on me. He keeps giving them a ton of validation…..after awhile I just eject. Between my mistakes and his retardation, I just think it isn’t worth saving.

          So, after all that’s said and done Anti-game is real pumped. I walk outside and glance around. Then there he is, right beside me.

          ‘Hey man, see any other hot girls you fancy? Let’s go chat em’ up. That girl -I- was talking to was real hot. I mean, yours wasn’t so good, but y’know….’

          You must be fucking kidding me. I actually lol’d at his version of reality.

          My response: ‘Ya man, if you see some you like go for it.’

          lol…..value takers.
          This guy now thinks we’re buddy buddy friends tho.

          • YaReally
            on June 26, 2013 at 1:29 pm
            Original Link

            lol ya this happens alllll the fucking time. In his mind that was the best night of his life in months and he was on fire, he got to talk to a girl!! He has no idea how far he was from banging her or how much he fucked things up for both of you.

            I don’t even totally mind it if they’re still cool guys, but if they start talking smack on top of it it’s like okay, next time I try for the 3-some with both of them and flip you the bird on my way out the door lol

      • Cragsleeper
        on June 26, 2013 at 9:31 am
        Original Link

        I want to believe this and it is a plausible explanation for why my social experiences are often antagonistic for reasons I can’t understand. I do think the situation is more complex though. Sometimes the guys really don’t respect you and it’s all earnestly delivered ridicule. I’ve been on both sides of that and permanently removed myself from social groups when it was clear I had become the designated punching bag. I’m not quick with comebacks and that’s an area I’m working on. I suppose experience is the best way to develop the ability to distinguish between good-natured ribbing like you describe vs. true hostility.

        My social experiences have been so absurd in general that I know it has to be me but I’m not going to have some ‘professional’ get me started on mind-altering drugs; I’m working this out on my own and doing well so far.

        Thanks for the valuable insight.

        • YaReally
          on June 26, 2013 at 10:20 am
          Original Link

          “Sometimes the guys really don’t respect you and it’s all earnestly delivered ridicule.”

          “I suppose experience is the best way to develop the ability to distinguish between good-natured ribbing like you describe vs. true hostility.”

          True. But even if it WERE honest ridicule, the reason it affects you is that you’re giving their opinion of yourself value over your own…ie – you’re basing your self-worth externally.

          If your 5 year old nephew says “I hate you!!”, it’s cute but it’s not really going to crush your soul. You don’t base your worth on the opinion of a silly 5 year old kid who’s throwing a tantrum because you won’t let him eat cookies for supper.

          But change that 5 year old nephew into a hot girl at the bar you were hoping to bang, or an alpha buddy that you were hoping to befriend, and now all of a sudden it gets to you. The difference is simply how much value you put in their opinion of you.

          One of Tyler’s examples is that if I made fun of you by saying “You have green hair, what a loser, only losers have green hair, your green hair is fucking stupid, man!!” you’ll be completely unaffected by it because you KNOW you don’t have green hair. You are 100% sure about this, so nothing i say about it can affect you.

          But if I then make fun of you by picking something you’re insecure about like (for instance) “You’re a fucking virgin? What a loser, only losers can’t get laid lol”, that’s going to sting you…because that’s something you’re not 100% sure about.

          If you were 100% sure that you were awesome and “The Shit”, it wouldn’t matter whether someone was slagging you in jest or out of hostility, you would be completely unreactive either way.

          “but I’m not going to have some ‘professional’ get me started on mind-altering drugs”

          Fuck no. Why would that even be an option? lol, *THAT* would be “crazy”. You’ll be just fine, as long as you put in the work to learn what’s going on and work on your internal confidence and build a strong frame. :)

Tom the Democrat
on June 25, 2013 at 4:08 pm
Original Link

It doesn’t bother anyone here that degrading women degrades the entire society?

[CH: It bothers me that you are a huge pussy.]

Your sisters and daughters (Although I doubt any of you have any daughters) are women, too, you know.

[Do you subscribe to the ethic that women are innately more moral than men?]

  • PM
    on June 25, 2013 at 4:19 pm
    Original Link

    society has already BEEN degraded by following the course you prescribe; turning a blind eye to human nature.

    • Tom the Democrat
      on June 25, 2013 at 4:21 pm
      Original Link

      I don’t prescribe turning a blind eye to human nature.

      • PM
        on June 25, 2013 at 5:01 pm
        Original Link

        and we are not degrading women

        • YaReally
          on June 26, 2013 at 3:56 am
          Original Link

          Only in the bedroom. And sometimes outside of it.

  • Ben Gurion
    on June 25, 2013 at 4:34 pm
    Original Link

    They don’t really care about you, only insofar as they can extract resources and labor from you. It’s time you learned some reality.

    • Tom the Democrat
      on June 25, 2013 at 4:36 pm
      Original Link

      Wrong. I have a woman that cares about me plenty.

      • YaReally
        on June 26, 2013 at 4:01 am
        Original Link

        It’s like no one believes in True Love anymore. :( You’re all monsters.

on June 25, 2013 at 5:18 pm
Original Link

I have a question re. shit tests. This one is a bit different though as it wasn’t the girl doing the testing, but the environment.

My brother asked me about the situation. He’s at his local, getting along great with some girl. They’d been yapping for awhile. As I understand, a bartender from the place who my brother knew got off work. He literally and figuratively puts himself right between the two of them, dominating the situation. According to bro, girl is shooting him something like “Help” glances. Bro doesn’t know what to do without coming off ornery and aggressive.

I bring up shit tests because I think that is exactly what happened, in an organic way, and he failed.

What should he have done?

  • YaReally
    on June 26, 2013 at 4:16 am
    Original Link

    Assuming she meant help save her from the bartender guy, and not that she was signaling for help from the bartender guy to save her from him (lol hard to tell with your wording):

    I like to give the thumbs-up to her lol. Like a “lol way to go you got a real catch on the line, good luck with that ;) ” and just sip my beer and enjoy the awkwardness of her suffering thru a lame pickup attempt. He can even take her number if he wants and I’ll give her an “oh ya this is a great plan” nod with a big self-amused grin lol Afterward when he leaves I’ll drop something like “wow so I guess we’d better quit flirting, I mean clearly you’re taken now. I hope you two will be very happy together lol”

    This works when she’s giving him the “help me” signal (either with her eyes/face or sometimes she’ll subtly reach back and touch your arm under the table or something) to let him know like “wait I’m stuck in this situ and i’m being polite but I like you and don’t want you to think this guy has a chance, please don’t leave!!”

    Often she’ll call you an asshole for not saving her, and I say stuff like “fuck that, I’m not cleaning up your messes. Why don’t you try not being so fucking hot?” and escalate the interaction toward sex.

    If she’s NOT signaling you for help, and the guy is a legitimate threat, that’s a whole different (tougher) AMOG battle ball-game…but from your description this wasn’t the case.

    (also: there are butthurt guys who would just say “whatever fuck it she can go with him if she wants, I’d Next that bitch for disrespecting me!!!” But I’m posting this because PUAs like to figure out “how could I turn this seemingly impossible situation around…?” more for the mental exercise and expanding our knowledge-base rather than because we desperately need that particular girl)

  • Matthew King
    on June 26, 2013 at 6:22 am
    Original Link

    Send texts to her as a running commentary making fun of his pick-up. If you don’t have her number, give her your phone with a message “put your number here so I can make fun of this guy while he’s trying to pick you up.” Encourages her to use the phone shield, engages her in a funny conspiracy.

    Either that or do things the old-fashioned analog way and engage the literal cockblock. Depending on your mood/drunkenness/skill, your choices are: befriend him, tool him, or beat his face in. “Ornery” has nothing to do with it. Aggression begets aggression. Either you stand up to it or you stand down. “Without coming off as ornery and aggressive” is coward-speak, the usual rationalization for tucking your tail between your legs instead of doing what needs to be done, at very least to maintain your dignity.

    The greater danger is presenting yourself as the hero who “rescued” the damsel, which gives her too much leverage too early, so the best option is to be friendly and start “hitting on” him. You don’t have to be too clever or too aggressive or try too hard. Just remind him (and her) that he accidentally is communicating disrespect to you.

    If she is sending “help” signals, you’ve already got a willing co-conspirator. Send her cocktail napkin messages: “Brush your hair over your ear if you think this guy is wearing his dad’s shirt/too much Axe body spray/has more than two STDs.” Etc.


    • YaReally
      on June 26, 2013 at 10:07 am
      Original Link

      Cocktail napkin messages? Texts? What do you think this guy trying to hit on her is doing while she’s unfolding napkins and checking her phone? Is he blind? Did he come over and they’re just standing there in silence so she can hear her phone going off in her purse beside her and check it? She’ll read all your txts after the guy leaves because he’s talking her ear off trying to fuck her. Unless she’s the rudest socially aspergy person in the world.

      Befriend him = he won’t befriend you, he’s trying to take your pussy.

      Tool him = reactive and unnecessary…unless he won’t leave and is trying to escalate things too far crossing the line from entertaining dancing monkey making her feel embarrassed/awkward, to making her legitimately uncomfortable and killing the mood.

      Beat his face in = lol. Have you ever even thrown a punch? Enjoy the lawsuit, the destruction of any friendship since his brother knew the guy, and the banning from that establishment and possible a few other others (since bartenders are connected in the nightlife).

      Hitting on him? There something you want to tell us, King A? lol

      • Matthew King
        on June 26, 2013 at 10:49 am
        Original Link

        Like a woman, you niggle over details — which constantly, spontaneously change with the circumstances — rather than grasping the spirit of it. I talk about cocktail napkins, you imagine her unfolding it … and then you focus on all the problems of presented by an imaginary unfolding. The general point was: continue the “help!” rapport if you’re not man enough to confront the blocker.

        Your game would not survive a market of scarcity. Which is why you recommend strategies that depend on low-percentages and high volume. If it doesn’t work on this one, move down to the next “set.” Fifty approaches a day, etc. That’s great, but it doesn’t exactly elucidate why any particular method fails.

        CoffeeCrazed didn’t need advice on how to be passive and sarcastic — that comes naturally to the omega male.

        But I’m weary of spelling everything out for you, who seeks trivial disagreement as a way of establishing your street cred over anyone with the sense to call you out.


        • YaReally
          on June 26, 2013 at 1:34 pm
          Original Link

          5 lays for 5 approaches is the ultimate goal of PUA.

on June 25, 2013 at 5:30 pm
Original Link

In other news, Helen Smith has been told to never submit anything to HuffPo again.

  • YaReally
    on June 26, 2013 at 4:27 am
    Original Link

    I heart Helen Smith. She will do a lot for getting MRA/MGTOW/PUA points across to the MSM and spreading the red pill to men who can tell there’s something fishy in the Matrix but haven’t quite figured it out yet, because she’s a chick and she’s well-spoken and all her shit is backed up with data and tons of relatable anecdotes. Even in verbal interviews with tough questions she’s unphased and well-prepared.

    Buy her book, it would do interesting things to society if her book hit the Top 10. Also it’s a good read even if the information in it is redundant for us red-pill’ers, you can pick up some good succinct ways of stating your case for those occasional “why don’t you want to marry me?” and “why are you such a player, you should man up and find a nice girl to marry instead of this bar trash” and “dude I’m thinking of popping the question!! Lets get drunk so I can open up about my fears and ask you for advice because I sub-consciously know this is a mistake since she’s a bitchy harpy I complain about all the time and who banged by best friend but I’m going along with marriage because I’m socially conditioned to “do the right thing” without objectively looking at facts!” conversations that come up as you get older.

Tom the Democrat
on June 25, 2013 at 6:17 pm
Original Link

Here’s the tact I would suggest:

“Are you a player?”
No, I am not.

[CH: Boring. She's already looking around the room.]

“Give me your number instead.”
Wow. What a great idea. I like the idea of giving you my number instead of having to do everything the old-fashioned way.

[And you'll never hear from her again.]

“I don’t give out my number.”
I respect that.

[Eunuch battle cry.]

“I have a boyfriend.”
Perhaps you should be with your boyfriend instead of hanging out in a bar full of cheesy pick up artists.

["Including you?"]

“You never listen to me.”

[Hey, that's a good one!]

“Do I know you?”
No, but I would be happy to introduce myself.

[*motions for cockblock*]

“How may girls have you been with?”

["How sweet!" (I'm too good for him.)]

“What are you looking for?”
I’m looking for a woman a lot like you. Same face, same smile, same confidence. Her name is Emma.

["Great. Good luck finding her."]

“Stop staring at me.”
Oh, I didn’t realize I was staring. I apologize.


“That [X] you’re wearing is ridiculous!”
Thanks for telling me. I don’t want to look ridiculous.


“You’re not my type.”
There’s more fish in the sea.

[Eunuch war cry.]

“Come hang out with me and my friends.”
I would love to.

[Three months later: "Meet my platonic friend Tom."]

“Does this work on other girls?”
It worked on three.


“When are you gonna settle down?”
When are you going to be my bride?

[*runs for exit*]

“If you impress me, you might get a shot at this!” [wiggles hips]
That’s not what I’m interested in. I’m interested in a real lady.

["You sound like my Dad."]

“What are you doing??”


Tom, your problem is that you don't know how to have fun, how to tease, how to challenge girls. That's what women like. You need more fun in your life.]

  • Flump
    on June 25, 2013 at 8:15 pm
    Original Link

    you sound like Chatbot

    • YaReally
      on June 26, 2013 at 4:35 am
      Original Link

      Dr Sbaitso game! Sign me up for a bootcamp.

      …the funny part is that a lot of Sbaitso’s inquisitive “and how does that make you feel?” responses would actually go over well with girls. hmm maybe I’ll try typing a girl’s txts into it and using his responses. That would be awesome.

The Truth About Mixed-Race Couples

Original Link

via Heartiste

on June 24, 2013 at 4:23 pm
Original Link

Halves are generally hot as fuck.

That is all. Enjoy your retarded racist whine-fest lol.

  • cryo
    on June 24, 2013 at 5:12 pm
    Original Link

    You’re alright, YaReally. But for all your talk about social conditioning and how it has no effect on you, I’m surprised you would resort to Statist shaming language when confronted with ugly truths. Just goes to. show that the nefarious tendrils of the Cathedral can taint even those you least expect.

    • YaReally
      on June 25, 2013 at 12:31 am
      Original Link

      You are an idiot. Meet and befriend more people of different races, you insecure backwoods dipshit.

      Kisses & hugs <3 lol

      • YaReally
        on June 25, 2013 at 1:15 am
        Original Link

        P.S. it’s not that there aren’t differences between races or anything, it’s that this is such a waste of mental energy. You are literally collecting stats so you can win Internet arguments with other retards about race superiority, which will do absolutely nothing productive at all except allow you to go “neener neener!!” to some username over the net.

        It’s the equivalent of debating and arguing and collecting stats on which My Little Pony character can jump the highest. It’s a waste of time and energy on something that you wouldn’t give a shit about if you had other stuff going on in your life.

        Like what will debating this shit do? Seriously. Were you about to fuck a bunch of black chicks and these discussions convinced you not to? Are you about to go violently wipe out an entire race Hitler style to “solve” the “problem”? Do you think any black guys are reading your shit thinking “wow ya I suck, time to off myself or only stick my dick in the girls this random Internet name approves of”?

        No. None of that is happening. All that’s happening is that you and some other white guys stroke eachother’s dicks over yourselves and then you go back to the same pointless existence you were living when you decided this was a thing worth spending your energy on.

        That’s why I make fun of you guys for it. You are objectively accomplishing nothing but seem convinced that you are lol at least with game discussions we’re able to go out and apply it and change some guys’ lives. You are just preparing for the Internet debate Olympics with other morons on both sides of the discussion.

        Meet and befriend a ton of people of other races and you’ll find they break down like anyone else. Lots of them are fucked up shitty people and lots of them are awesome.

        Anyway, enjoy your silly shit. Please DO post a million replies insulting me and calling me brainwashed and a nigger-lover and all that. You’re wasting you’re life anyway, might as well waste it on someone awesome like me. Lol

The End Game Of Manboobery

Original Link

via Heartiste

Puzzle Pirate (@PuzzlePirate)
on June 24, 2013 at 11:41 am
Original Link
  • YaReally
    on June 24, 2013 at 4:01 pm
    Original Link

    This is the greatest thing I have ever seen in my life.

on June 24, 2013 at 1:15 pm
Original Link

Not a million miles off-topic, as it turns out, but there’s a hysterical anti-PUA article over at teh Graun’s ‘Comment is Free’ section today:

Why I have no truck with the art of the pick-up

Pick-up artists exist to help men find sexual partners but their psychosexual babble is riddled with misogyny and bad advice

For those non-UK readers not in the know, The Guardian is so notoriously lefty, right-on, feminist, liberal, anti-white-male, and islamophile, that it’s practically the official pamphlet of the Cathedral in Airstrip One.

Judging by the number of comments the piece has attracted (over 700 at time of writing) someone has probably posted this to the manosphere already, but I figured I’d link it here for everyone’s amusement.

Also, RAPE!

  • YaReally
    on June 24, 2013 at 4:17 pm
    Original Link

    “It is mostly marketed through far-fetched personal testimony and miraculous anecdote”

    Anytime anyone slags PUA as just snake oil salesmen taking advantage of gullible desperate men with lies and exaggerations, it tells me instantly that they don’t go out and haven’t seriously tried it for any length of time.

    The proof is out there, every night, at every bar in every city. Run some basic game and watch girls react exactly how we say they will. But people will talk smack because they can’t actually cold approach and try it out for themselves.

    With these people I’d tell them go out to a bar and hold a drink in your hand, and walk thru the room and as you pass people, hold your drink toward them and say “cheers!” 90% of people will cheers you back and tap their drink to yours. Doesn’t matter if they don’t know you or they’re in a bad mood or they’re weirded out, it’s a conditioned social response for people to reciprocate to that gesture and word.

    Since generally no one would disagree that the vast majority of people would cheers back and since this is an easy low-risk test a person can do, if that person can agree that we can conclude that “doing ABC (hold your drink up and say cheers) consistently gets result XYZ (a reciprocal cheers)”, then they have to agree that human behavior isn’t completely random and that there are predictable patterns and responses (whether learned or instinctial) to specific stimuli that we tend to follow. From there, pickup is simply the same concept except it focuses on seduction/attraction instead of cheersing. You can’t say “pretty much everyone will cheers back, but when it comes to attraction THAT’S totally random and unpredictable.” It’s no different, just a different set of stimuli and responses and patterns.

    There are no theories in PUA…there’s only concepts determined by analyzing patterns in mass combined field experience.

on June 24, 2013 at 4:19 pm
Original Link

Well I’m convinced. Time to repent and give up my sinful ways.

Game Advice For Alphas

Original Link

via Heartiste

on June 21, 2013 at 12:32 pm
Original Link

Girl : hey u should teach me a few moves, I see ur all into working out (instagram)
me: stop flirting with me
Girl: i thought u liked it???
Me: i filed you under ‘T’
Girl: T?????
me: tease
Girl: omg.. smh.. i tried coming over but u didnt respond
me: gimme a few hours notice and just be clear that when we have sex, dont expect anything more from me
Girl: I understand that and we’re on the same page

i thought this was a good example of a text exchange i had yesterday and how it relates to making your intentions clear. I would have never risked saying such a thing in the past for fear of getting rejected but once you just don’t give a fuck, if u fuck her or not, its easier


  • YaReally
    on June 22, 2013 at 4:33 am
    Original Link

    You did good. The key is that you weren’t wishy-washy. You were like “this is how it works.” Your frame is strong, so she falls into it.

    Like the Joker says: “Nobody panics when things go “according to plan”…even if the plan is horrifying!”

    And now you have a casual no-strings sexual relationship like you (I assume) wanted. Congrats, you’re not a dude letting the girl dictate the terms of the relationship and debasing yourself for the pussy the universe allows you to have if you dance like a monkey properly for her. :)

on June 21, 2013 at 12:37 pm
Original Link

This week I met a girl online, young, maybe a 6….slim, could be cute. We exchanged racy texts and met up…

I k-closed her…then got a sudden creepy feeling from her. Maybe it was the fact she said her previous boyfriend accused her of being a stalker. But he apparently blocked her on whatsapp…so she told me…that she showed up at his apartment to “talk about this”…

So as we leave the bar, I thank her and tell her I’m going home…alone.

She gets all needy, “No, I want to come with you…”

The more I said NO…the more she wanted to come up.

So I leave…then she texts “Don’t you like me?”

I didn’t…But at this point, I don’t care about seeing her ever again, so I text her back with a brutally honest response:

“I would have taken you back and fucked you if you agreed to leave at 11pm, but you insisted on staying over, so I went home alone…”

That…set off 2 days of constant texts. She sent…maybe 30 texts about how she would fuck me, she would shave her pussy, send me photos of herself etc etc

I blocked her on Whatsapp…

So she started texting me. I ignored her texts. So after the 40th text she writes something to the effect that she wants to fuck me etc etc and oh…could I please add her onto Whatsapp because sending texts is costing her money….

Hamsta: “please unblock me because stalking you is costing me money…”

  • Zombie Shane
    on June 21, 2013 at 2:45 pm
    Original Link

    > “Hamsta: “please unblock me because stalking you is costing me money…””


    I’m a pretty laid-back kinduva guy, and I can tolerate a helluva lotta crazy in my womynz, but even I gotta draw the line somewhere.

    • YaReally
      on June 22, 2013 at 4:40 am
      Original Link

      Hamsta: “please unblock me because stalking you is costing me money…”

      lol’ed hard.

      Good call on not fucking her. This chick will say you raped her when you stop returning her calls if you fuck her. She might even do it now, save all these txts and shit just incase. Cut off all communication entirely, not even a “quit txting me” because that’s a reaction and encourages her. 100% radio silence forever. Don’t delete her number, put a Z in front of it so it’s at the bottom of your phone list but comes up when she calls/txts so you know it’s her but remember not to txt back.

      If she knows where you live or work, she’ll probably show up there. Welcome to online dating lol. Just a bunch of fucking damage cases on there these days. You used to be able to find cool fun college chicks who just wanted guys to party with her and her friends. But now all the baggage fuck-ups have heard they can get dates on there and…well…this. lol

      • walawala
        on June 23, 2013 at 1:24 am
        Original Link

        @ya really…. it’s been 5 days since the barrage of “i want to fuck you texts” finally ended. I didn’t reply at all to anything after reading here about what to do with stalkers.

        Telling them “you’re bothering me” or whatever only encourages them.

        Online dating…yah, full of nutcases.

        • YaReally
          on June 24, 2013 at 12:03 am
          Original Link

          “Telling them “you’re bothering me” or whatever only encourages them.”

          Yep. The opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s indifference. No attention whatsoever ever again for that one. Not even a drunk txt on a lonely night.

      • Ben Gurion
        on June 23, 2013 at 8:05 am
        Original Link

        But its easier to turn them into subservients that way too. You have to know how to manage the crazy.

        • walawala
          on June 24, 2013 at 3:59 am
          Original Link

          @Ben Gurion…I think this is way off base. I’ve got too much other stuff going to have to bother with crazies. There would be no reason for a guy to entertain someone this needy and weird unless you didn’t have options.

on June 21, 2013 at 12:46 pm
Original Link

The truth — not very “dark” — about the commenters here at CH is that almost every one of them is a painfully nice and even more painfully earnest dude.

That’s the case with the “manosphere” in general: it’s hard to imagine a nicer group of guys.–

YaReally is an excellent example: if this is the “seducer” so dreaded by so many, well, then it is hard to understand the dread. This character is one of the most comically industrious, earnest and helpful guys one will ever encounter.

It’s sort of lot a “model UN” or debating society, with just slightly more fevered emphasis on maybe one day actually getting a piece.

One of the women here was commenting about how “mean” commenters are, on the way to “alpha.”

Mean? oh man, somebody needs to take a trip to Freetown. ;)

  • Zombie Shane
    on June 21, 2013 at 3:22 pm
    Original Link

    > “That’s the case with the “manosphere” in general: it’s hard to imagine a nicer group of guys.”

    I’m just here to try to do what I can to teach the young lonely fellows how to man up and get a piece of trim.

    Then once they figure out how to get themselves some trim: PUT SOME DADGUM BUNS IN THEM DADGUM OVENS.

    ‘Cause we can either make us some babies, or we can go extinct.

    Ain’t no middle ground.

    • cryo
      on June 21, 2013 at 7:11 pm
      Original Link

      Just found out I got my 20yo FB pregnant. So I guess I’m doing my part.

      • YaReally
        on June 22, 2013 at 6:27 pm
        Original Link

        Time for a Hail Mary. I can’t find the Leykis clip where he actually describes this anymore but here’s the jist of it. Don’t forget the egg mcmuffin:

        • cryo
          on June 22, 2013 at 6:57 pm
          Original Link

          That was pretty funny, but believe it or not this girl is no slut and pretty much worships the ground I walk on. She’s the kind of chick that seems almost mythic in today’s America: very sweet, nurturing, and no aspirations of becoming a high-powered career feminista.

          I may not be ready to be a father (I’ll be 29 this month) but I would be loathe to hoodwink this girl into an abortion.

          • YaReally
            on June 23, 2013 at 12:22 am
            Original Link

            Long as you can afford it, and as long as she’ll be a good mom, then best of luck! Teach your kid to be social and awesome by example so he/she never has to read sites like this lol

  • YaReally
    on June 22, 2013 at 4:30 am
    Original Link

    “Can you share some of your dark wisdom which has no bounds on advice for greater betas, lesser alphas, and alphas?”

    “YaReally is an excellent example: if this is the “seducer” so dreaded by so many, well, then it is hard to understand the dread. This character is one of the most comically industrious, earnest and helpful guys one will ever encounter.”


    Okay here’s some “Dark game” that works. I don’t do this kind of thing (though I’ve dabbled), but I know guys that regularly purposely apply it. I prefer stuff more like this:

    I’m only writing this as an example of “dark” answers. If you do this shit, you may end up damaging a chick even if/when you fuck her with this:

    “1) what do you do when a possessive girl looks through your phone and catches you cheating?”

    You go “ya, we’re not fucking married. Why are you so possessive? You ALWAYS get like this and I’m fucking sick of it. I can’t even have any fucking friends because you bitch at me. YOU have guy friends, like that dude that follows you around all the time. I KNOW you’ve fucked him. Ya right you haven’t, you’re such a lying fucking whore. Get the fuck out. No, fuck you, get out of here, I don’t even want to talk to you right now. Call me when you’re done being a fucking slut.” and kick her out then ignore her calls for a couple days. Then txt her like you’re still mad at her (even tho she didn’t DO anything lol) and let her apologize (for something she didn’t do, lol), and let her come over to make it up to you and fuck you make-up sex style. She won’t check your phone again.

    “2) what do you do about jealousy? from both males and females, I’ve had my reputation marred on several instances because of my philandering.”

    Ditch them. If they don’t support you, fuck ‘em, find better friends who want you to achieve your goals…find guys as good as you and you’ll be in better company all-around. If a social circle girl is talking shit about your girls say, right in front of your whole group, “Hey, you can say what you want about me, I don’t give a shit, but don’t insult my girls. They’re my friends, and you don’t get to call them sluts or whores. No, shut the fuck up, you’re acting like a catty bitch and I’m not your boyfriend so I don’t have to put up with it. You can drop this shit or you can get the fuck out of here.” and stare her down till she apologizes. Anything she says that isn’t an apology, cut her off and tell her “You heard me. You can fucking leave now. Get the fuck out of here until you grow up.” and kick her out if you have to. If she apologizes, then forget any of it happened and be BFFs again…she won’t talk shit about you again. And she’ll probably try to fuck you behind her boyfriend’s (in that social circle of course) back in the bathroom when he isn’t looking.

    “3) what about when you are in an area with no desirable females? myself many of my other friends who are “successful” find ourselves in situations where all the girls around us are entitled and below the SMV of what we’re used to.”

    Use it as an opportunity to experiment with making the lesser girls do fucked up shit that you wouldn’t dare try with girls you actually cared about as human beings. Videocameras, fucked up kinks, rape roleplay, live out any fantasy you’ve ever had and any porn you’ve ever watched, make them do embarrassing/humiliating shit that you know they’ll do just because you have higher value than them and they know it, etc. Then in the future when you’re in an environment with better girls, apply that same mentality and those same skillsets on them and now you’re living the life of a porn star with hot chicks doing fucked up shit they’ll never do with any other man the rest of their life.

    “4) more importantly, what about the isolation that this lifestyle brings? in times when I’ve built a rotation of girls for myself I’ve felt more alone than ever before.”

    This is in your own head. But form multiple-LTRs, and experiment with telling them all about eachother, and then experiment with making them fuck eachother with you. You’ll still feel emotionally isolated unless you share that side of you with them, but hey, you’ll have less scurrying around to do and less secrets to keep lol. Then when you’re around hotter/better girls in the future, apply this same skill to them. And find guys with game, your normal friends can’t relate to something that’s a big part of your life. They never will, just accept that they’re from a different world and find guys who are a part of your world who will understand you so you can open up and form some actual human connections. Try pickup websites if you have to, or just try befriending any guys you see in the field who seem good with chicks or like they’re purposely cold-approaching and running game. A good wingman/buddy is worth a thousand women.

    I don’t really recommend the OP does any of this (aside from finding buddies who are studying game, that part’s good) because from his writing alone he’s not the kind of guy that would be able to pull it off and he’d probably end up fucking up his social circles because he wouldn’t be congruent to it or know how to properly wield it. I’m just posting it to show some darker game…like I say, I have buddies who run this style and do shit to girls that even *I’M* like “wow, you really fucked this chick’s head up…” horrified by it. And I know some of the girls that’ve been with these guys have come out as complete damage cases directly because of their relationships with them.

    That’s why we don’t really talk about this stuff, it’s not the kind of thing you want newbies running around with, and it creates a lot of drama. But it’s out there, it follows pickup principles (like break down my reponse to question 1 piece by piece and analyse how the mood shifts from start to end as the frame is turned around and the push/pull sucks her in etc. etc….break down why my reponse to question 2 works (breaking rapport, social pressure, frame control, etc.)), and, well…it WORKS. lol

on June 21, 2013 at 1:11 pm
Original Link

This isolation bit really might be more about your own inability to form an attachment than about anything else. You can be a womanizer and have a girlfriend or a wife or a wife with kids or a wife and a girlfriend.

I can understand that the sociopathy that helps with success with women also promotes social isolation. But it is the sociopathy and not the actual womanizing lifestyle that is the root cause of isolation.

However, I think most sociopaths don’t feel much isolation. They may recognize that they should be feeling isolation based how other people would feel in their shoes, but they are built to endure the isolated world they create for themselves.

My past two psychiatrists tell me that they cannot discern if I am emotionally autistic or sociopathic or if I am neither and emotionally repressed. I do not know the answer myself. I know that I am a fairly similar personality to my brother, who is an extreme alpha (well, not exactly similar in personality as much similar in mindset and perspective). We can talk for hours, and I get the impression that he partially relies on me to provide some bond that he doesn’t get from the girls he rotates through. I would guess that some of the traits that make him an alpha are present in my personality as well, so I seem to have it in me to be isolated and ‘sociopathic.’

  • YaReally
    on June 21, 2013 at 8:51 pm
    Original Link

    You are none of those. You are an insecure narcissist and attention seeker. That’s not a judgement of your worth as a person, that’s just the patterns you display. You’re the equivalent of the guy at the bar in the suit bragging about his new expensive watch to people (attention seeking), but secretly waiting for them to say “that’s really cool man!” and give him their validation because under the surface narcissism, he’s insecure about his worth. That’s why you won’t leave this comment section…you can’t.

Matthew King
on June 21, 2013 at 1:53 pm
Original Link

I’m a young guy but feel very isolated from the people around me.

Build a pack, that’s what alphas do. Whatever you want to call it. Entourage, posse, brotherhood, crew. You will learn from each other.

If you don’t have it in you — which is no shame — rally to the men who do. Not every man can create his pack ex nihilo. But every man can alpha-up and be a solid member of a crew. We all desire a seat among peers and superiors. Only ratty little ressentiment omegas pee their pantaloons around men of quality. The future alpha always begins his climb to the top by acknowledging superior virtue in his midst. The rest languish in envy.

1) what do you do when a possessive girl looks through your phone and catches you cheating?

Stand your ground and be prepared to discard her. Deception is for the weak. Women are attracted to men who are attractive to women, particularly lots of women, the evidence of which will not be avoidable, whether it be in a phone or in public. Her “possessive[ness]” is a power play, and you need to establish your power early, without apology.

This power base is what you leverage when it comes to LTR negotiations. If you have no other options, you have no plan B when she rejects your demands for submission. If you have plenty of options (of which she is reminded physically when she burns with envy), you will be able to demand almost anything of her. More than loyalty, you can even reshape her relationship to the world, her very personality — e.g., get rid of this cunt friend, these beta orbiters, those faggy exes, stop making that face, wear something else. (Obviously, the younger they are, the easier this is accomplished.)

Her looking through your phone should be a good development for you, leveraged into something great.

2) what do you do about jealousy? from both males and females, I’ve had my reputation marred on several instances because of my philandering.

Tease them with it. Their bitterness doesn’t preclude a grudging, secret respect.

3) what about when you are in an area with no desirable females? myself many of my other friends who are “successful” find ourselves in situations where all the girls around us are entitled and below the SMV of what we’re used to.

Life is essentially the same everywhere.

“Nature is unchangeable and has everywhere the same force, as fire burns both here and in Persia.” — Aristotle

Grass-is-greener syndrome is more often a failure to make do with the resources at your fingertips. Yes, it requires effort to make art out of inferior materials, but all great things require effort. The solution is not to go lose yourself into the anonymity of a metropolis, just because marginally better vag-friction is easier to acquire there. Do what you can, with what you have, where you are. Smaller locales are easier to dominate.

Women “below [your] SMV” can be inspired to improve themselves several points up to your standards: lose weight, learn how to dress, get your make-up right, and shut the fuck up. (COME AND GET ME, BITCHSTARTER.)

What’s more, if you have a pack, women will flock to it. With the interconnectivity of communications and labor fluidity of today’s culture, they will flock from near and far.

Sidebar: In high school, there were girls who created secret counter-packs to try to infiltrate my tight circle of friends, which was essentially a pack of arrogant, aloof, know-nothing, teenage boys. There is nothing cuter than receiving your invitation to a YaYa Sisterhood of Traveling Pants from a freshman girl, trembling as they hand you the scented certificate. Male solidarity moistens the gusset. Leading the solidarity begets geysers. The dynamics of youth never go away, they just sublimate themselves into silent signaling.

Now, life is not high school, but you would do well to put yourself at least partially back into that mode, where a piece of our psyche always resides, be it omega or alpha. The point is, do your thing, be a man, and they will do most of the work. If You Build It, They Will Cum.

4) more importantly, what about the isolation that this lifestyle brings? in times when I’ve built a rotation of girls for myself I’ve felt more alone than ever before.

Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown.

There is nothing about the specific PUA lifestyle that isolates. Excellence in anything isolates a man. It is built into the formula: being elite means being rarified means being one of a handful. The everyman cannot relate. Few have any idea what you’re talking about. The PUA life is one that appears from the outside to be an automatically social one — how can there be a such thing as a lonely PUA? — and so the predicament is even harder for outsiders to empathize with, much less fathom.

But again, our interconnectivity means you can at least have remote conversations with men like yourself. The next step in this renaissance will be the establishment of men-only speakeasies (and mentorships), pubs and fraternal organizations where local men meet and plot, to carouse, to challenge one another, to plan the revolution. Hence the appeal of the film Fight Club: blogs and fora are not enough, we need 21st century Tun Taverns.

I can’t turn to my “greater-alpha” friends on this one because realistically they have this problem even worse than I do and don’t seem to care as much.

Inspire them to care, alpha male. Or are you as disaffected as they?


  • YaReally
    on June 22, 2013 at 12:17 am
    Original Link

    “1) what do you do when a possessive girl looks through your phone and catches you cheating?”

    “Her “possessive[ness]” is a power play, and you need to establish your power early, without apology. (…) This power base is what you leverage when it comes to LTR negotiations.”


    “2) what do you do about jealousy? from both males and females, I’ve had my reputation marred on several instances because of my philandering.”

    “Tease them with it.”


    “3) what about when you are in an area with no desirable females? myself many of my other friends who are “successful” find ourselves in situations where all the girls around us are entitled and below the SMV of what we’re used to.”

    “Do what you can, with what you have, where you are. Smaller locales are easier to dominate.”


    “4) more importantly, what about the isolation that this lifestyle brings? in times when I’ve built a rotation of girls for myself I’ve felt more alone than ever before.”

    “Excellence in anything isolates a man.”


    See, when you write shit that actualy gels with the real world, I’m fine with backing you up. You must have been watching Tyler videos. It’s okay, welcome to the cult, I knew you’d recognize our superiority sooner or later. You may bask in my validation now. :* <3

on June 21, 2013 at 4:01 pm
Original Link

NEVER backpedal. as CH recommends, own it or flat out lie. i always err on the side of owning it since cheating is an absolute deal breaker for MEN. she cheats, she’s out the line-up.

studies have shown women are more afraid of EMOTIONAL cheating than physical cheating. as in- if you catch feeling for another girl, that’s MUCH worse than fucking another girl. she’ll be pissed, you’ll have to make it up to her, but i always say, she’s been kind of distant and the other girl was always there for you.

feed the hamster.

if she’s really into you, she’ll rationalize it. had a dude hate on me and tell my girl he saw me getting into a cab. i just told her, “whatever. you know i don’t fuck asian girls. dude’s just into you.” we were on liberty in hong kong and i pulled a thai chick.

it never came up again. reframe and own it.

thing is, i had told her before, “i’m equal opportunity dick” when she asked about what ethnicities i had been with.

  • YaReally
    on June 22, 2013 at 4:47 am
    Original Link

    “studies have shown women are more afraid of EMOTIONAL cheating than physical cheating. as in- if you catch feeling for another girl, that’s MUCH worse than fucking another girl. she’ll be pissed, you’ll have to make it up to her, but i always say, she’s been kind of distant and the other girl was always there for you.”

    This. Part of how I start framing an Open Relationship with a Primary is referencing this kind of thing, where the other girls don’t mean anything to me and are just random flings because I like variety in sex and I’m a flirty guy. But half the time I don’t even remember the girl’s name and I would never want to go to their family dinners or go grocery shopping with them or cuddle and watch a DVD together, blah blah blah. Basically showing her that emotion and physicality are separate and that I may stray physically, but emotionally she’s my girl. There’s a lot more to it, but guys would be surprised how much a girl is cool with you fucking around if she feels confident that you’ll come back to her and not replace her.

    “own it or flat out lie. i always err on the side of owning it since cheating is an absolute deal breaker for MEN. she cheats, she’s out the line-up.”

    “i just told her, “whatever. you know i don’t fuck asian girls. dude’s just into you.” we were on liberty in hong kong and i pulled a thai chick.”


    • dannyfrom504
      on June 22, 2013 at 5:40 am
      Original Link

      yeah. she “heard” i messed around and i reframed it to the dude that ratted me out linking her and trying to get between us.

      she said i got into a cab with some “asian girl” and i told her she knows i don’t like asian chicks. her hamster dropped it. lol.

      • YaReally
        on June 22, 2013 at 7:04 am
        Original Link

        My bad I read it wrong (missed the last bit about owning the reframe). I thought you meant own it honestly like “ya I did and I won’t apologize for it” so at the Asian chick lie I was like wait wut? lol

on June 21, 2013 at 4:25 pm
Original Link

Advice for Alphas is necessary too. Sometimes our game slips and lakcs and need a pick-me-upper. But at least it’s not as dire as for the wussy-man.

  • Stingray
    on June 21, 2013 at 6:33 pm
    Original Link

    But at least it’s not as dire as for the wussy-man.

    As dire? No, but it’s more difficult. The dire beta has a lot of room for improvement. He has a lot of things to master and therefore build his confidence upon. It may seem grim, but there is so much to improve that that upward climb is relatively easy. The alpha Man who wishes to continue to improve has only slight gains he can make, yet necessary, nonetheless.

    It’s like weightlifting. The newb will make great gains and he will make them quickly, whereas the body builder trying to make even the slightest gains has to work so much harder for that continued improvement.

    Dial it in, gentlemen. Keep up the good work.

    • YaReally
      on June 22, 2013 at 4:53 am
      Original Link

      It’s easier to teach a newbie who comes in with no preconceived notions and the humility of “I know I suck and I will try/do anything you tell me because you know what you’re talking about I don’t so even if it scares me or seems backwards, I’ll try it because you’re the expert and I don’t know shit.”

      It’s harder to teach an alpha who’s had success and has his routines/habits that he’s been using for years and who thinks he already knows a bunch of stuff and doesn’t have the humility to accept advice from other guys because he’s secretly a little insecure if he has to admit he’s not perfect.

      It’s hardest to teach a shitty PUA who’s been applying PUA shittily for years. This guy thinks he’s a super-expert because he’s consciously studied game, even if he hasn’t gotten fuck all for results. He’s also usually the most insecure underneath everything because he started out more insecure than the alpha and has layered a bunch of PUA ego on top of it so he has the weakest shakiest foundation under the surface.

      Everyone is always a student of game forever. The second you start thinking you’re too good to learn, you start stagnating.

on June 21, 2013 at 4:33 pm
Original Link

Hey YaReally, it’s Hunter. I’ve concluded daygame is WAY too nerve-racking for me, so I’m shelving it for now. In the meantime, I’ve been going to this club for free (made friends with the bouncers there) with a guy who is really shy, but is basically up for anything, which makes him a really good wingman (he’s Indian, I’m Black with pretty clear speech which makes me sound intelligent compared to other black people – black people tell me that lol). Anyway, I’ve only been able to go out once a week due to my location. Thankfully, I’m moving to a town closer to the city soon, so I’ll be able to go out pretty much every night in a few weeks. No more suburbs, yes!

Okay on to my issues:

I go to this club where there is always bachelorette parties around (like a group of 7-8 girls out celebrating), so I warm up/small chunk it with them to build momentum (I know I won’t get laid with them).

Typically it goes like this:

Me: Hey, who’s getting married?
Girl1: Oh, oh, she is?
Girl2: Hi, my name’s blah!
Me: Oh when are you getting married?
Girl2: On so and so date!
Me: Do you guys have that list where you guys have dares the bachelorette does? Last time I got a bj shot lol
Girl1: Oh, yeah! I’ve heard of those (or something, can’t remember).

Then I go into the logical questions (how do you guys know each other, what’d you major in).

There was a point in the conversation when I told them what college I went to and they were like WOAH, you’re smart and they were all into me/super enthusiastic, but then I got overwhelmed cuz I’m not used to 3-4 girls being all giggly and excited around me so I was like:

Me: Well, yeah, it’s okay… well gotta go call my friend, see you guys around.
And then at this point another blonde (they’re all blonde/brunette) introduces herself and I’m like, yeah I gotta go lol.

So yeah, I have issues “stacking forward”. Taking the interaction somewhere.

And then I got into another conversation with a hot Israeli girl. The rapport was good but the issue was basically that I hadn’t touched her the whole time we were talking. So I did the whole surprise penis thing when I touched her leg lol.

I could go into more detail about the other girls I talked to last weekend, but it’s the same deal. Decent open (“Hey, what’s your name?”), decent rapport, but I never get shit tested… and that’s probably because I never do anything bold or shit-test worthy.

So really the whole problem is getting physical. My family’s never been very physical in terms of affection so I feel weird when I get close to people or when they get close to me. I’ve physically escalated with girl’s before (not a virgin), but I dunno, I haven’t socialized in a while and jumping back into it feels a bit weird.

For example:
A few weekends ago I was at the same club. Randomly approached hot girl on the dance floor. I said “hey what’s your name?”. She turns around. I turn her back around saying, “I said what’s your name?”. She says blah (i forget). She suddenly turns nice. I then put my arm around her lower back (she doesn’t back away), but then I hold her like I wasn’t sure if I wanted her close to me lol. And then I wasn’t really looking at her either and then she backs off of me saying “I don’t want to dance with you!”

So yeah, I’ve decided I need to work on getting physical. Opening’s easy. Talking’s easy, but the convo’s never really supercharged/tends to be really safe except for a bit of push/pull here and there. That’s honestly my biggest sticking point. Sorry, I’ve had the worst/weirdest upbringing ever and if I explained it all out to you, you wouldn’t believe me.

Anyway, going out tonight with my buddy and going to try and get physical with girls. Thanks for being around and pushing us to be awesome!

  • YaReally
    on June 24, 2013 at 1:48 am
    Original Link

    “I’ve concluded daygame is WAY too nerve-racking for me, so I’m shelving it for now.”

    Technically that’s why you should do it. ;) But don’t stress it, you can come back to it later someday. I did Daygame before but these days I stick to Nightgame because it works better for my schedule and I like when girls are dressed up.

    “with a guy who is really shy, but is basically up for anything, which makes him a really good wingman”

    I would rather a shy guy with a good attitude than a super badass alpha player who makes excuses not to approach and is more concerned about looking cool than getting better.

    “I’m Black with pretty clear speech which makes me sound intelligent compared to other black people – black people tell me that lol”

    lol are you like this guy?:

    Dude is great to model body-language, confidence, and refined/eloquent speaking from compared to the “sup dawg” ghetto black guy giant-NBA-jersey stereotype lol

    “I’m moving to a town closer to the city soon, so I’ll be able to go out pretty much every night in a few weeks.”

    Good stuff! It’s hard to get better at game out in the middle of buttfuck nowhere.

    “but then I got overwhelmed cuz I’m not used to 3-4 girls being all giggly and excited around me so I was like: Me: Well, yeah, it’s okay… well gotta go call my friend, see you guys around.”

    “And then at this point another blonde (they’re all blonde/brunette) introduces herself and I’m like, yeah I gotta go lol.”

    lol. Premature Ejectulation. You’re ejecting before you can get blown out…it feels like you’re just being overwhelmed, but your brain is panicking and saying “okay, time to go, we don’t really know what to do here and we might fuck it up so let’s bail while we still have good feelings!!” But when you have a gameplan for where you want to take things, your brain won’t panick as much.

    “So yeah, I have issues “stacking forward”. Taking the interaction somewhere.”

    First you have to decide and know where you want to take it…*DO* you know where you want to take it? Specifically? One Night Stand? Phone numbers? Building a social circle? Same Night Lay? Dates? Makeouts? What type of girls do you want? Was that blonde at the end a girl you would bang?

    “The rapport was good but the issue was basically that I hadn’t touched her the whole time we were talking. So I did the whole surprise penis thing when I touched her leg lol.”

    lol. At least you know where you went wrong.

    “but it’s the same deal. Decent open (“Hey, what’s your name?”), decent rapport, but I never get shit tested… and that’s probably because I never do anything bold or shit-test worthy.”

    Yup. They shit-test because they instinctively know they might end up fucking you so their brain throws out a shit-test hoping you’ll fail it so that they don’t “be a slut” and fuck you. But their vagina WANTS you to pass the shit-test so that they can fuck a badass alpha dude.

    They don’t shit-test the homeless guy on the street or their gay little brother either. You’re just not a sexual threat to them right now. An old-school PUA saying is that when a girl is talking to you, she should feel like she’s in imminent danger of being fucked lol

    “My family’s never been very physical in terms of affection so I feel weird when I get close to people or when they get close to me.”

    I was the same way. My family wasn’t physical at all, so it was weird to me to invade people’s personal space.

    Watch this Liam Mcrae speech from start to finish and do the exercises he gives at the end:

    And watch Gambler’s speech from 27:00 to 50:00:

    Here’s a pretty solid in-field “situation opener to makeout” breakdown by Liam…he describes when he pushes forward or backs of and how he throws things out there to escalate the conversation sexually but pulls back if she isn’t receptive, etc. Very solid analytical breakdown:

    “A few weekends ago I was at the same club. Randomly approached hot girl on the dance floor. I said “hey what’s your name?”. She turns around. I turn her back around saying, “I said what’s your name?”. She says blah (i forget). She suddenly turns nice.”

    lol. Shit-test passed, so she turns nice because you’re not a guy she can just weed out that easily. I handle this really abrasively like “No, don’t be fuckin’ rude. What’s your name.” and make fun of her to her friends about her being socially awkward if she doesn’t play along lol.

    “but then I hold her like I wasn’t sure if I wanted her close to me lol. And then I wasn’t really looking at her either and then she backs off of me saying “I don’t want to dance with you!””

    lol, then she realizes you’re not really a badass and 180s in attraction again. What did you want from her? Your gameplan can’t be “hopefully something maybe happens” lol.

    “but the convo’s never really supercharged/tends to be really safe except for a bit of push/pull here and there.”

    You likely have two problems:

    1) no kino/touch
    2) no sexual vibe…you’re communicating friend to friend (or worse girlfriend to girlfriend) instead of man to woman

    I actually don’t use very much kino in my personal style. I build a ton of sexual tension verbally…but it’s because I don’t ask them what they major in or talk about my college etc. lol You’re getting ATTENTION, and that’s cool and fun, but attention isn’t the same as attraction. :)

    It’s also important to note that as you play with getting more sexual, it’s actually good to combine opposites. ie – being very aggressively physical while talking about boring shit (shake hands with her, then pull her in and put her hands up on your shoulders for her and put your hands on her waist and talk about mundane boring “what’s your major?” stuff while being face to face with laser-locked eye contact and slow sexual speaking), or the reverse…being extremely verbally sexual while not touching her (turning the conversation towards sexual topics, telling a sexual story, asking a question that’s sex related, etc., so the conversation itself is very sexual but you’re not being aggressive physically with her, so you’re taking kind of an indirect route).

    The other two options aren’t as solid: no sexual verbal vibe and no physical touching = an asexual interaction where she doesn’t know you have a penis. Whereas an extremely sexual vibe with aggressive physical touching = a good chance of triggering her ASD too fast/soon and putting her guard up and making her more wary and resist more…granted closer to last call this can be a good method for the girls who are horny, but early in the night it can be too much too soon.

    “Sorry, I’ve had the worst/weirdest upbringing ever and if I explained it all out to you, you wouldn’t believe me.”

    lol don’t worry about it. Men in general are taught not to invade people’s space (invading a girl’s space = being a rapist or creepy, invading a guy’s space = picking a fight or being a homo), so when you combine that with a family background that isn’t big on touch/hugs/affection/”I love you”s/etc., it can be a hard thing to get used to…but it’s necessary to work on getting more comfortable with it, to be good at seduction. And like I say, I started out a lot like you and had to work at it, and I’ve helped teach friends who are from sexually repressed cultures (asians & indians) and they have a lot more cultural/upbringing baggage to work thru, but with practice and working on their mindsets that touch/sexuality/etc. is okay/normal, they overcome it.

    “going out tonight with my buddy and going to try and get physical with girls. Thanks for being around and pushing us to be awesome!”

    Hope you had a good time, try those exercises at the end of that Liam speech I linked. Don’t worry about creeping girls out and fucking up, we all did it when we started learning kino/escalation. Good luck! :)

Are Humans A Pair Bonding Species?

Original Link

via Heartiste

on June 20, 2013 at 2:08 pm
Original Link

Women are monogamous, if you fall in love with one man and marry him this man becomes your everything, your definition of what is a man, the only man you want and desire. Men I believe struggle with polygamous tendencies, I think men often desire the novelty of something new. But I know a alot of faithful married men, men can be faithful, it will not be easy when you are married for one lifetime but it is possible. I think it is better for men to not marry so young.

  • John
    on June 20, 2013 at 2:10 pm
    Original Link

    “Women are monogamous”


    • YaReally
      on June 20, 2013 at 3:20 pm
      Original Link

      Personally, and I haven’t read much on the subject so take it with a grain of salt, I’m just going by my experience here, but I would say women do tend to be monogamous.

      The catch is they’re monogamous to who they believe is the highest value man…aka Hypergamy, always looking for the higher value. But once they HAVE that man, they tend to be monogamous to him. It’s why I don’t worry about my GFs cheating and the vast majority of my fuckbuddies over the years don’t fuck other guys…because to them I’m the highest value man, and they aren’t looking to rack up quantity, they want quality. It’s why I can set an Open Relationship frame but know that my girl won’t fuck other guys…she doesn’t want a bunch of cocks, she wants the best cock. So as long as you stay high value to her, she’s monogamous to you because her Hypergamy means she has no interest in fucking lesser men.

      The problem that fucks it all up and creates the whole “cock carousel cheating whore” thing we have now is that value is variable. It changes over time, it can change in an instant like a boyfriend failing a shit-test and his girl cheating that night, or a girl on a date sees a higher value guy walk in the room, or it can change over years as a badass alpha man lets his girl beta’ize him and he becomes lamer and lamer until she cheats on him with the dominant alpha boss at her office.

      I think a lot of men think “once I get money and a 6-pack and a car and a wedding ring on her finger I’m set!! I won!!” And they think their value will stay there with their girl…they don’t realize that she’ll keep shit-testing him even after marriage (bossing him around, not having sex anymore, etc) and he has to actively continue working on himself as a man and not slouch and just become a vegetating couch potato watching reality TV.

      That’s the main reason marriage is a shitty deal…getting legally tied to a woman in a lopsided contract where she has nothing to lose and you have everything to lose, is voluntarily removing your ability to soft/hard next her for shitty behavior AND it encourages her to whittle you down and leave you once she has…and you can’t do anything to prevent that whittling because it means losing your money, kids, etc and possibly going to jail if you can’t pay child support on kids she brainwashed into believing you raped them.

      Like, getting married is giving her all the power that she needs YOU to have. She needs you to be able to soft/hard next her when she tests you because she needs to know that you’re still the solid oak tree of a man that she fell for so that she can continue to be attracted to you.

      I think if more men understood that their value is something they have to actively maintain, and that women will go for the highest-value man, and that marriage is giving away your ability to be a high-value man, we’d have either less men marrying or more married men figuring out how to keep their value in marriage, and either one is a solid path. The whole MMSL method of turning your marriage around is based around restoring your value that you let slip.

      Once again I link these two clips:

      • realmatt
        on June 20, 2013 at 7:43 pm
        Original Link

        Just curious, how do you KNOW the girls aren’t fucking other guys?

        • Nicole
          on June 21, 2013 at 11:58 am
          Original Link

          When their behavior shifts to being “above reproach”.

          When they don’t go out partying, dress modestly, wear whatever jewelry you bought them that makes it obvious they’re in a relationship, and stop hanging out much with single friends who might get them into trouble.

          Some sneaky women may still do what they do, but if you choose women who are submissive, it’s unlikely that they’re going to stray unless or until a higher status man offers them a more solid commitment.

          Having an ambiguity phase is a pretty good test. If she starts the shift when you’re talking but not sure if you want to be in a relationship with her yet, then you can fairly safely assume this will continue once the relationship solidifies.

          Again, some women are just wrong and play a good game, but this is what normally happens.

          • YaReally
            on June 21, 2013 at 8:01 pm
            Original Link


            Also I have a lot of experience being “the other guy” so I know what to look for. My girls might cheat if they meet someone they consider higher value than me, but there IS no one they consider higher value than me, because I am fucking awesome.

          • YaReally
            on June 21, 2013 at 8:04 pm
            Original Link

            Also remember its not whether I’m objectively higher value than another man in your eyes or society’s eyes, it’s only in her eyes that it matters. I have higher overall value in her eyes than her favorite celebrity does (who might be higher in certain categories but not overall). The same dynamic is why women stay with drug dealing shitty men etc. despite their friends telling them he’s shitty…his value is low to everyone else but to HER it’s high.

      • Moses
        on June 20, 2013 at 11:24 pm
        Original Link

        “…marriage is giving away your ability to be a high-value man.”

        This can be true or not true.

        It depends on a number of variables — the wife’s character, her society’s culture, social pressures (or lack thereof) that shame adultery.

        We forget now, but there was a time when a woman who shagged outside her marriage was shunned and shamed as a whore. These days she’s more likely to get accolades for being a strong, independent woman whose husband wasn’t meeting her needs. Given women’s sensitivity to social pressure, this was a powerful disincentive.

        I married in Asia. It’s possible to keep hand in a marriage relationship here due to a more favorable cultural, social and legal environment. It would be way harder (impossible?) to do it in the US.

        • YaReally
          on June 21, 2013 at 8:08 pm
          Original Link

          “We forget now, but there was a time when a woman who shagged outside her marriage was shunned and shamed as a whore.”

          I agree. THAT’S when marriage was a good deal for men. But:

          “These days she’s more likely to get accolades for being a strong, independent woman whose husband wasn’t meeting her needs.”

          That’s my point. A guy willingly signing up for marriage right now is insane and tossing away the ability to keep hand in his relationship…the hand that his woman’s hypergamous instincts NEED him to keep. If men understood this concept it would change society…but the blue pill world rejects it despite how obvious and logical it is lol

      • YaReally
        on June 21, 2013 at 2:04 am
        Original Link

        I would also say that this is why it’s tough if not impossible to pick up a girl who’s deeply in love with her man and believes he’s super high value. Doesn’t matter what tactics I use, that chick won’t fuck me if she’s happily in a relationship. Even if she finds me attractive, if I can’t come off as higher value than her man she’ll stay loyal to him.

        I think we get an illusion of women being promiscuous simply because we don’t look at the men in their lives and how their value goes up/down over time and in various circumstances. We assume its the women at fault but they’re following logical Hypergamous programming.

        If a hungry lion eats antelope and the other lion he was chilling with and had no plans to eat, turns into an antelope…well, he’s gonna follow his programming lol

        • embracingourfemininity
          on June 21, 2013 at 10:00 am
          Original Link

          A married woman shouldn’t be out running around conversing with other men who have questionable intentions with her anyway. So it shouldn’t be an issue.

          • YaReally
            on June 21, 2013 at 7:58 pm
            Original Link

            Ya of course, I forgot married women are to be chained and locked in a basement. Lol

What Kind Of Man Ruts With A Land Whale?

Original Link

via Heartiste

on June 19, 2013 at 12:12 pm
Original Link

Maybe he just has a taste for big women. Some men do.. maybe he was raised around big women, an obese mother, obese siblings etc and it’s just what he’s used to. Or perhaps he has low self-esteem, wow, I feel mean saying that.

  • Zombie Shane
    on June 19, 2013 at 2:55 pm
    Original Link

    > “Maybe he just has a taste for big women.”

    Three points.

    1) There’s a huge difference between “big” and “fat”. There are plenty of gorgeous chicks out there who are 5’10″, with DD racks, and great big wide-assed hips, but they ain’t necessarily fat – they’re just BIG [cf the Helmut Newton or Ross Meyer bodies of work].

    2) If you care about your progeny, and if you want your progeny to be any good at sports, then you better be looking at a nice healthy buxome corn-fed cowgirl for your wife [see "big", as in 1), above]. In particular, if you want your boys to be any good at football or basketball or baseball or swimming, then you dadgum better not be settling down with one of these 5’4″ 95-lb pixies as your betrothed. Because, if you do, then you can kiss the athleticism in your family the hell goodbye.

    3) Now here’s a massively good secret which I am going to disclose for the lonelier dudes at the Chateau [and the broader manosphere in general] – there are two kinds of chicks who have enormous difficulty getting dates:

    3a) Extremely high IQ chicks

    3b) Extremely tall chicks

    High IQ chicks have difficulty dating because it’s just about impossible for them to develop any sort of a relationship with a guy who is stupider than they are.

    Similarly, tall chicks have difficulty dating because most guys are simply terrified of them.

    So if you’re a lonely 5’11″ guy, then try filtering your searches at for the 5’10″ chicks, and start hitting on them.

    Or if you’re 6’2″, then hit on the 6’1″ chicks.

    And if you really have some monster gonads between your legs, then hit on a chick who is actually taller than you are.

    PS: Oh, and as a very general rule of thumb, big chicks fuck like animals.

    Like wild-fucking-animals.

    • YaReally
      on June 19, 2013 at 5:36 pm
      Original Link

      “And if you really have some monster gonads between your legs, then hit on a chick who is actually taller than you are.”

      23 seconds in, Tyler takes a tall girl off a taller guy in a suit and leaves with her:

      Tall chicks aren’t hard, you just have to not care that they’re tall or that you’re shorter. From there it’s all the same shit. I’ve been with a handful of them but I don’t like fucking them cause I like tiny petite chicks and tall girls feel like weird uncoordinated giraffes to me lol

      • S-252
        on June 21, 2013 at 1:26 am
        Original Link

        I don’t have a problem with girls taller than me, but it seems almost always to be the case that tall girls have problems with men shorter than themselves. Plus you will also need to add the high heels modifier: the girls want their man to be at least 10 cm taller than themselves, so that they can wear high heels and still look “small and feminine”.

        At least in online dating sites. What I listed above are seen in such a plethora of women’s ads I guess it sheds some light to how these ladies think.

        • YaReally
          on June 21, 2013 at 8:18 pm
          Original Link

          Yes on online dating sites women are free to screen for a 6’4″ millionaire super-jock CEO with a Ferrari. That’s why online dating is retarded.

          In real life, most of these chicks just want a guy who can demonstrate the same alpha traits a tall rich etc guy can.

          The problem is most short/poor/etc guys have a chip on their shoulder so the girls learn to not want these guys because they’ve only run into bitter-ass insecure ones. The reality is they’re fine with a guy shorter than them as long as he’s alpha and can manhandle them. His alpha vibe makes her feel small and feminine next to him, even if she’s taller. Any chick around Putin is going to feel like a little girl even if she’s looking down as his bald head lol

          More on the subject:

on June 19, 2013 at 9:42 pm
Original Link


  • YaReally
    on June 20, 2013 at 9:06 am
    Original Link

    God, I could write 10 pages on all the little dynamics going on here. Epic.

Unemployed, Alcoholic Badboy Game

Original Link

via Heartiste

on June 17, 2013 at 1:39 pm
Original Link

‘the attitude’ can manifest in more than one form, and although it is not always bad boy don’t give a shit fuck you, that is its most obvious form. the attitude can be a poker player that is one step ahead of his opponents, sitting there in the knowledge that they are about to hand over their money to him.

  • YaReally
    on June 17, 2013 at 11:55 pm
    Original Link


    If a girl doesn’t put out right away, I don’t care. But it’s not because I don’t like her or don’t want to fuck her, it’s because in my mind I know it’s going to happen, so if she’s not comfortable the first night and we just end up cuddling, that’s alright I don’t care, she’ll fuck me the next night.

    Same with going for the kiss or whatever, okay, give me the cheek, that’s fine, you’re still in my spiderweb and just going to be more attracted to me 10 minutes from now when I’ll try again and probably get it. And if I don’t tonight, I will next time we meet. No biggie.

    If I’m hard-up for sex and she doesn’t put out, that’s fine. She can go home and I can call one of my fuckbuddies for sex and next time I see her we’ll probably bang.

Man Reader
on June 17, 2013 at 1:47 pm
Original Link

lzozlzozlozoz. Good work, Zombie Shane. Some of your other follow-up comments there are equally good. #winning

  • embracingourfemininity
    on June 17, 2013 at 3:53 pm
    Original Link

    Wow man reader that’s a beautiful woman in your avatar

    • The Teacher
      on June 18, 2013 at 10:14 am
      Original Link

      Yep. She was the first to *really* break my heart and make me start to realize the things that CH writes about here. She’s crazy. No, I’m not a misognynist too quick to use that term. She, like about 90% of all pretty, thin women (who get hit on constantly) is bipolar and, “crazy” by any real definition.

      • Canadian Friend
        on June 18, 2013 at 5:13 pm
        Original Link

        I agree 90% of women are either bipolar, “crazy” or have some other psychological problems

        After I read 3 books and everything I could find online about pathological narcissists – who they say are usually men – I was amazed at how the behaviors they described are exactly what most of the women I dated do.

        I have dated over two dozen women and about 90% of them were like that.
        I have also had conversations with hundreds of other women whom I never dated or slept with and about 90% of them were like that.

        I will soon be 54 and I have come to the conclusion that female are all – to an extent – mentally deranged.

        The more I read about psychological disorders the more I go ” Ha! most of my women were exactly like that!!”

        I’m not a pick up artists myself, but a few of my acquaintances are, and they have come to the same conclusion as I have; most women have psychological problems…

        they have told me stories and women are really messed up in the head, more than most men

        most are histrionic, most are extreme narcissist, most have anger management problems ( most men I know agree that if women were the bigger and the stronger sex, there would be a whole lot of battered men!! more than there are battered women!! women have very short fuse and horrible tempers, songs and poems have been written exactly about that), most are spoiled little brats, most are extremely immature , most are very irrational, most are extremely ignorant of science and believe in a lot of stupid hokey-pokey stuff that we know is not true ( as if women had a medieval knowledge and understanding of the world ), and so on and so forth

        I don’t hate women, this does not come from hate, I LOVE women, but they are crazy…most of them

        • YaReally
          on June 18, 2013 at 10:20 pm
          Original Link

          I concur.

          • YaReally
            on June 18, 2013 at 10:33 pm
            Original Link

            Also I always find it amusing when people take that as fuel to light the “see you just bang low quality drunk slutty bar whores with mental issues, you should date quality girls like my wife/girlfriend/friends/etc” torch.

            The part they don’t get is that no, I’ve dated and fucked your friends and girlfriends and wives and your girlfriends friends who she thinks are all angels blah blah blah…and a lot of them will put out a lot faster than you’d think and are a lot more fucked up than you think or than they let on…you just can’t see it because you’re their friend and look at them thru rose-colored glasses.

            You (still this metaphorical “you” here) see your friend as “quirky”…I see her as indecisive and wishy-washy and someone who doesn’t think about or accept responsibility for the consequences of her actions. You see her as “independent”. I see her as a girl who’s emotionally damaged and frigid and built herself up too much of a bullshit ego to let her guard down whilst simultaneously feeding into the bullshit her orbiters and friends like you feed her about how amazing she is so that the end result is a girl who has an inflated view of her own worth and makes it far too much trouble to bother with fighting my way thru her issues because the prize itself is really rather lackluster.

            You see her as social and outgoing. I see her as on her phone checking Twitter and Facebook 24/7, thriving off interpersonal drama in her social circles, and flirting with other men in front of me. You see her as “a realist”. I see her as a depressing pessimist who has a negative view on life that suffocates her and the people close to her because she thrives off hiding behind her victim mentality instead of actually taking charge of her life and fixing it, and I see a future where I have to listen to her bitch about shit that isn’t a real problem like Jenny from work being a bitch today. You see her as “intellectual and thoughtful”. I see her as boring and frumpy and wanting to stay in and watch DVDs together on Saturday nights while she gets fatter and fatter because she doesn’t care about her appearance.

            See I know these girls. I’ve been with them, I’ve fucked a bunch of them, I’ve met hundreds of other “normal” girls just like them. If you could see what I could see, you’d understand why I hedge my bets and go for the hot girls at the club…if 90% of girls are going to come with baggage attached, I’m at least going to go for the ones where that baggage it attached to a smokin hottie while I look for that other 10%. And no, Jenny from work, or your little sister, or your wife’s BFF, they aren’t that 10% sorry lol

Bob Wallace
on June 17, 2013 at 2:40 pm
Original Link

“unemployed, alcoholic”

That’s not an Alpha. It’s a loser who will probably be dead before he’s 50. I’ve been seen it more than once.

[CH: Do women love him? Then he's alpha. He may be dead before 50 from liver disease but that doesn't change women's judgment of his sexual desirability right now.]

  • Glenbert
    on June 17, 2013 at 8:17 pm
    Original Link

    “Do women love him? Then he’s alpha.”

    We know of one woman who purports to want him.

    I’ve seen this play before. She’s a chub. The dentist is an aspie. The “alpha” is just a man without standards.

    {CH: Well then, he’s a man without standards who’s getting more action than this broad’s dentist fiance.]

    By even the most quasi-scientific use of the term, I cannot see how a man who lives under the care of any woman, especially, his mother could be deemed alpha.

    [In fact, the man who sponges off women while getting all the loving he wants is a supreme alpha. Note that this doesn't make him a very admirable man, but no one here besides sloppily constructed strawmen ever said alpha = admirable.]

    • YaReally
      on June 18, 2013 at 12:04 am
      Original Link

      “I cannot see how a man who lives under the care of any woman, especially, his mother could be deemed alpha”

      Pimps can have women willingly giving them the money they make whoring themselves out on the streets (ie – the women are supporting him) without the pimp fucking them even if they beg for his dick.

      Sure, they’re the bottom of society, but in terms of alpha/beta and handling women, what would your GF say if you told her to fuck a dude off the street and give you her income?

      Like CH said, alpha doesn’t mean admirable.

    • Matthew King
      on June 18, 2013 at 7:04 am
      Original Link

      [... no one here besides sloppily constructed strawmen ever said alpha = admirable]

      That’s not the issue. You are roughly declaring that “alcoholic asshole = alpha,” and whether you mean it that way or not, whatever disclaimers and qualifiers to append to it, that’s how 80% of your fanboys take your meaning.

      [CH: I'm not my fanboys' keeper.]

      So, the tail wags the dog.

      [Dawgs dig the tail.]

      Rather than isolating the virtuous behavior of detachment that comes with being antisocial, they seek antisocial behavior in the hopes of appearing detached (or “aloof”).

      [There is probably a positive correlation between vice and success with women.]

      You are coming this close to promoting alcoholism for omegas.

      [If a man requires liquid courage to sexily detach from his outcome with women, he's not going to be much moved by temperance sermons.]

      And while that may be a step up for their sexual life (what wouldn’t be?), it is also a step off the cliff with regard to everything else.

      [Nowhere in this post was there a directive, implied or otherwise, to become alcoholic in order to succeed with women.]


      • Matthew King
        on June 18, 2013 at 10:36 am
        Original Link

        You’re not at the level of “directives” yet. You can’t command your alpha aspirants, you can only influence them by way of valorizing certain behaviors.

        No, you aren’t your “fanboys’ keeper,” either. But you do construct a liturgy out of bullshit extrapolations and thereby begin believing them yourself. Commandments, maxims, jargon, coined phrases, etc. Don’t get high on your own supply, pusher.

        • Sidewinder
          on June 18, 2013 at 10:45 am
          Original Link

          Dude, are you having a bad day or something? Why such a negative tone? The point of the post is emphasized by the assumption that an unemployed alcoholic with herpes is a loser in life, yet he still succeeds with women. It is in no way a suggestion to be an unemployed alcoholic. The post assumes that most readers would recognize the guy as being a loser, which is what hammers home the point being made about female nature.

          • YaReally
            on June 18, 2013 at 1:55 pm
            Original Link

            This. Seriously Matt, have you just decided to be a generic troll now? This comment is right out of the Jezebel feminist “exaggerate what the poop-head I don’t like said to try to make him sound like an evil asshole” play book.

            What’s next, are you going to say Mystery teaches men to call women ugly and stupid so they cry themselves to sleep? “Oh it doesn’t matter if that’s not what he actually wrote, I’m extrapolating the worst aspergy meaning possible from it!!”

            Is this really Matt or has someone hijacked his account?

          • YaReally
            on June 18, 2013 at 6:30 pm
            Original Link


            “It’s called constructive criticism, brahs.”

            You’re being deliberately obtuse. It’s not that you’re criticizing, it’s that your criticism is based off exaggerated silliness or simply a completely wrong understanding. Again, you’re the 4 year old telling the NASA scientist “2 + 2 = 5, how do you KNOW it equals 4?? HUH??” and thinking the scientist is an idiot for rolling his eyes at you. “You guys can’t handle criticism, that isn’t how I would build the space shuttle, look at my crayon drawing!!”

            If you seriously can’t understand that CH isn’t encouraging guys to become unemployed alcoholic losers to get girls and can’t understand that just because a guy is alpha in some categories it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t model his behavior, and that EVERYONE ELSE HERE can tell that…well, have you actually gone in to take tests and find out if you have Aspergers? Like, serious question. Because it would clear up a lot of your comments if we were all starting from a place of knowing you were Spergy.

          • YaReally
            on June 20, 2013 at 9:05 am
            Original Link

            “If I’m not going to put up with simple assertion as evidence of truth from CH, I sure as fuck am not going to put up with idiot assertiveness from his retarded younger brother.”

            You know what you should use as evidence? Going out and applying this stuff. That’s what we did, and that’s why we came to our conclusions. You don’t go out, so you have to whine about “assertions” because that’s all your knowledge is based on…other people’s experience. Because you don’t go out. Because you are socially retarded and scared of the outside world. And you keep thinking if you talk long enough that people will start to believe you and not be able to tell that you don’t go out or have any experience, but we won’t. We’ll keep calling you out on it as long as long as you keep doing it.

            “You make no attempt to demonstrate my misunderstanding”

            That’s because your “misunderstanding” is so retarded to anyone who goes out that it’s mind-blowing that you would think it in the first place, and with your lack of experience socializing you don’t have the ability to understand why what you’re saying is retarded. I can’t teach advanced algebra to a 2 year old…they simply lack the capacity to understand.

            “If he is worthy of that esteem, he will not hesitate to reveal the sources which led to his conclusion.”

            Here’s the sources: The outside world. Go do some research. :)

            “You fall all over yourselves to agree with his unexamined declarations”

            They are examined. By the hundreds of thousands of PUAs who’ve been going out for 10+ years examining these declarations. You are so dumb it’s actually physically painful to me to be typing this lol

          • YaReally
            on June 21, 2013 at 3:11 am
            Original Link


            Lol. Just a looooong flowery pile of bullshit trying to distract people from:

            1) you misinterpreted what CH wrote in a way that no one else did because you have a weird Aspie mentality and are determined to set yourself apart from the pack even when it means being wrong

            2) you can’t admit you were wrong when, again, no one else read CH’s shit the way you did. Are all his readers dumber than you or should we go with Occam’s razor here?

            3) you don’t go out and you don’t get pussy and if you do it’s shitty pussy. You can insult me all you want but that doesn’t change that in a conversation about women and attraction you are way out of your element.

            I’m not even insulting you, just like I wouldn’t be insulting a 5 year old when I told him his crayon spaceship won’t fly.

            You talk like “whether I’m good with women or not is irrelevant I’m a made man in every other category and giving you my advice” but what I was trying to get thru to you down below is that I doubt very highly that you’re a made man in any category. Like, ANY. I think you are a sad lonely basement dweller and I don’t think you’re qualified in any way to tell guys how to be men. I don’t think you understand how little respect I have for you lol because I know you. Because I’ve met hundreds of guys like you. Anyone who goes out can tell you are full of shit no matter how many flowery insults and analogies you toss out to try to distract them. We see right thru you.

          • YaReally
            on June 21, 2013 at 8:28 pm
            Original Link


            Like I’ve said before, I post to shit on you because there are guys with less experience who stumble across your bullshit and don’t realize that writing with authority doesn’t mean you actually have or deserve authority. I want those guys to know that you’re full of shit so they don’t waste their time following your lead.

on June 17, 2013 at 4:09 pm
Original Link

If attitude is 100%, then if a guy is a super religious nerd who wears boyties, and he has an attitude, will it still work?

  • YaReally
    on June 18, 2013 at 12:27 am
    Original Link

    I know nerdy brown guys who dress like that and who’s religions don’t allow them to have sex with random chicks who still go out and game girls and take them home etc. they just don’t go “all the way”.

    Obviously, them telling girls they can’t have sex with them often MAKES the girls want to have sex with them lol. I have no idea how they have the self restraint but I’m not a religious guy myself.

    • Matthew King
      on June 18, 2013 at 10:23 am
      Original Link

      A quiet fellow on my fratty dorm floor was studying for the priesthood and he couldn’t beat the women off with a crucifix. They were all determined to be The One to save him from his vow of celibacy.

      Seminary game, yo. Wear a Roman collar and watch the magic happen.

      Wait. That’s not “badboy” at all. Quite the contrary. WTF?

      [CH: Maybe not, but it is disqualification game.]

      Another pious high school friend applied to the Anglican ministry and he was a social magnet wherever he went. When it became clear that the Episcopalian clerisy was only interested in how well the young man got along with Gene Robinson’s lavender hermeneutics (if you know what I mean), he fled the religion altogether. But he retained the skills he picked up from such a young age and applied them to the realm of the flesh (if you know what I mean). Like a voice trained for high church worship suddenly singing the cantiones profanes.

      Not unlike the contradictions of this website.

      O Fortune / Like the moon / Ever changeable / Always increasing / Or decreasing.

      Detestable life / First oppressive / Then easy / As fancy takes it. / Poverty / And power / It melts them like ice.

      Fate-monstrous / And empty / You whirling wheel / Stand malevolent. / Well-being is vain / And always fades to nothing. / Shadowed / And veiled / You plague me too.

      Now through the game / I bare my back / To your villainy.

      Fate, in health / And in virtue / Is now against me. / Driven on / And weighted down / Always enslaved.

      So at this hour / Without delay / Pluck the vibrating string / Since Fate / Strikes down the strong man. / Everyone weep with me!


      [Chicks dig a crooner.]

      • Matthew King
        on June 18, 2013 at 11:15 am
        Original Link

        [CH: Maybe not, but it is disqualification game.]Or maybe … (pause, cogitate, eureka!) … it’s not a “game” at all. Maybe women are attracted to virtue. True virtue, not the feminist’s and your redefinition of it into beta idiosyncrasy. True virtue, the etymological offspring of vir from the Latin for “man,” which also gives us words like “virility.”

        Now through the game you bare your back to Fortune’s villainy, when the whole time you should be following and promoting Machiavelli’s script:

        “Fortune is a woman, and if you wish to keep her under it is necessary to beat and ill-use her….”

        Or you can remain under her mastery, even as you console yourself with a life of repetition, words, and complaints: “O fortune / Like a woman / Ever changing / … First oppressive / Then easy …”

        Is seduction not an action, you wonder. It is. But who has seduced whom? Not only are you Fortune’s slave, you spend all your time exclaiming (via pop-sci genetic determinism and nihilistic fatalism) how we all are beholden to her even if we don’t know it.

        I’m with Niccolò. added a simple “tù” to the ancient, eternal meaning of manhood.


        • YaReally
          on June 18, 2013 at 1:48 pm
          Original Link

          Nah. It’s disqualification game. Combine it with consciously applying cat-string and push-pull theory and you have a hella powerful combo.

          The common thread when you drill down, between the disqualifying priest guy and the alcoholic loser guy, is that neither gives a shit if the girl doesn’t want to fuck them. Whether the reason for that attitude is religious brainwashing or an apathy toward life in general is irrelevant…the end behavior is the same attractive attitude that women respond to.

          Like I’ve said before, when you have two conflicting examples, you have to drill down further to figure out what’s really going on. You don’t say “well you said badboys get the girl but I know a good guy who does so let’s just throw everything out the window!!!” That’s what Feminists do with NAWALT. “None of MY friends are like that so your examples are all cancelled out!” “Some fat people are healthier than some thin people so it’s impossible to determine that the 400lbs fatty sucking back McDonald’s isn’t healthy so lets throw all nutrition science out the widow because its too hard to drill deeper!!”

          No, instead you say “okay we have two seemingly contradictory results here, so lets drill deeper and look for what’s common between these two results”.

          You’re a smart enough guy, I’m kind of surprised I have to explain this to you…are you just trolling for the sake of trolling now? Is that your new “thing”? Your identity of being “Mr Expert” has stopped working so now your identity is “Mr Contradiction”, jumping into every article to argue for the sake of arguing and getting attention? It’s sort of silly to waste all of our time pretending to need explanations for your strawmen when you could be using that time to write more good stuff like this instead:

          • YaReally
            on June 20, 2013 at 8:57 am
            Original Link

            @Holden Caulfield
            Yep, I concur with all that that.

            “Don’t any of you chumps want to actually be your own men with your own, self-generated opinions and observations?”

            The part you still don’t grasp, and that you won’t grasp because you don’t go out, is that we don’t come to these conclusions based on “teh PUAs told me so!!”. We come to these conclusions because “the PUAs told me so, and then I went out and put in a shit-ton of hours in the field testing it for myself to see first-hand whether these things add up or not in real life and it turns out the stuff that thousands of guys putting in thousands of hours in the field have concluded is how things appear to work.”

            You are still thinking of this all as theory, because you don’t go out and apply it, so to you this IS all theory. You are debating the best way to throw a jab or the best way to swing a golf club, while thousands of guys who’ve invested thousands of hours into throwing tons of jabs and swinging golf clubs have all come to the same conclusions on what the best method is.

            Then you come along, having never punched or swung in your life, going “wahh wahh!! Everyone pay attention to me!! I have no experience and I’m talking out of my ass but if you agree with the same thing all these experts do, then you’re just brainwashed by them and can’t think for yourselves!! You guys must just be listening to them instead of applying it and finding out for yourself because I don’t apply anything for myself and that’s the frame of reference I come from and view others in!!!”

            It’s silly and every time you do it, you just show that you don’t go out.

            “There are many possibilities for the disconnect beyond the flaws of the dissenter.”

            No, there’s one possibility. A lack of Field Experience. Even Naturals come to the same conclusions PUAs do, they just use different terminology or don’t know how to describe it. Again, you are trying to play way out of your league with your betters here.

            “But anything to avoid backsliding to the bad old omega days, eh? Amirite?”

            oooo, an “Amirite?”. I recognize that, that’s snark! You’re slipping further and further into Feminist “debate” tactics every day. Coincidentally they, too, have to resort to snark because they can’t argue against facts.

Chris from Dublin
on June 17, 2013 at 4:50 pm
Original Link

Alpha is entirely attitude.

Here I am at the age of 39 and when I reflect upon my secondary education (as you north Americans call it, “high school”) it was scandalous. Not only did it not prepare us for the reality of the masculine / feminine & alpa / beta dichotomies, our school actually bred beta males.

I recall one teacher, our form head throughout secondary school. This man was a devout and pious Roman catholic who never left home, lived his entire life with his pious parents and sister (who also never left home or married), went to mass every day, devoted his entire life to the school, never learnt to drive and would take the 12 / 13 yr olds away to a hostel at the arse end of Ireland every summer for ten days. I refused to go, twice. This enraged him.

This teacher died in 2011. In retrospect I can see him for what he was and am aware of what motivated him. That anyone would consider such a bigoted and stunted creature to be any type of example to adolescent males is indefensible.

I recall a fifteen year old lad in our class who had got a girl pregnant (our school did not have girls, it was all boy …) I chatted about it with him. He told me that it was their third fuck but that she hadn’t been his “real” girlfriend ….


What I recall about this kid was that he was wild, smoked, fucked around, farted loudly in class (to the rage of many many teachers) never did well in lessons (and ours was a prestigious Irish private school for boys) but also was popular and sought after. This kid was also streetwise and warned me to watch out for the form tutor … go figure, as Americans say.
I met him many years later. He has six children by the same number of women. A number of convictions. No job, no money but this didn’t worry him because he was being supported by his live-in lover who had a well paid job.

Subconscious skittles man.

I liked him in school for his wit and charisma and I still liked him last time we met. Meanwhile I had to get the school to instruct the form tutor to cease and desist from contacting me. The form tutor died of undetected diabetes because, apparently, we don’t have doctors in Dublin.

Yes, alpha is attitude.

  • gramps
    on June 17, 2013 at 7:45 pm
    Original Link

    How could this sort of life be attractive to any serious man? Dependent on a woman? I wouldn’t call him an alpha. A parasite, maybe. Imagine the quality of women who have tolerated him. Imagine how much he loathes them, and himself. Imagine his future.

    • YaReally
      on June 18, 2013 at 12:34 am
      Original Link

      Because he doesn’t judge his self-worth on the opinions of other men or society like you do. Again it’s not admirable but it is Alpha. The CEO who starts a company up against all odds and nay-sayers telling him he’s crazy and shouldn’t try it, has the same mentality.

      The guy who gets the career because he’s scared people won’t respect him and gets the 6-pack because he’s worried girls won’t like him and gets married because his GFs family is pressuring him is Beta even if objectively he’s more successful or contributes more to society, because at the end of the day he’s still letting other people determine his goals/actions instead of himself. He spends his life reacting and basing his worth on other people’s opinions of him.

      This guy in the OP just doesn’t have an internal drive to do more with his life for himself compared to the CEO.

  • Matthew King
    on June 18, 2013 at 8:13 am
    Original Link

    So. The models you had to choose between were the closeted omega creepteacher who fondled you and the farting wigger bastard-maker you secretly crushed on at your all-boys school. No wonder you turned to cock. A “third way” indeed.

    • yeahokcool
      on June 18, 2013 at 11:01 am
      Original Link

      Riiiiiiiiight… That’s why he’s gay… Matt, isn’t it difficult to reconcile your reasonable intelligence with your dogmatic adherence to dogma?

      • Greg Eliot
        on June 18, 2013 at 12:59 pm
        Original Link

        Ho, ho! Reasonable intelligence… high praise indeed, all-the-more relished in the begrudging admission.

        • yeahokcool
          on June 18, 2013 at 1:20 pm
          Original Link

          I never disputed that Matt is an intelligent dude. I know it is hard, but try to avoid constructing straw-men.

          • YaReally
            on June 18, 2013 at 8:23 pm
            Original Link

            I don’t shit girls, that would be thoroughly uncomfortable. However, the wings from last night seem to be staging an attack right now… :’(

Bob Jones
on June 17, 2013 at 8:07 pm
Original Link

Am I the only one that finds this absolutely terrifying in the long term. I tend not to believe dysgenics but I feel it could happen. Alphas may be more desirable to women, but unless they have the intelligence and skill sets that this guy clearly lacks, they will not be as productive as your typical Beta male.

Settling may not be in favor of the woman when choosing her partner between these two archetypes, but it will REALLY help society.

  • YaReally
    on June 17, 2013 at 11:25 pm
    Original Link

    There are parasitic type Alphas who only look out for themselves, and there are the value-giving ones. I consider myself one of the latter, and the PUA community was sort of based around becoming value-giving alphas (helping eachother out) so a lot of my mentality comes from that culture we had in the early days.

    A part of why I help other guys and write all this shit and help shy random guys come out of their shell when I’m out partying is because I know that ultimately I probably won’t personally contribute much to society. I’m probably not going to become CEO of a zillion dollar company that creates millions of jobs or discover a cure for cancer or anything. I’m pretty happy just making enough to get by and enjoying life. I may not even reproduce, if I get snuffed out by life too soon, you never know. I have no interest in settling with one woman right now or anytime soon, possibly ever.

    But those guys I help, whether they’re good friends that I regularly wing with and coach and help find steady quality girlfriends, or whether they’re just some random guy who stumbled across a comment of mine that helped change his outlook and got him to approach that one girl he would’ve talked himself out of approaching and that one girl was The One for him that he ends up settling with immediately never playing “the game” again and raising a family & kids etc…

    THOSE guys might do something awesome for the world. Or their offspring might, or their offspring’s offspring, who knows? I spend a lot of my time on game but a lot of these guys are just “that med student who’s going to be an amazing surgeon one day and save thousands of lives over his career, but needed a push to be more assertive around girls so 5 years later he’s a more assertive man when he meets the nurse he’s working with and she’s attracted and they end up married”.

    I’m not creating a bunch of clones of myself…in fact most guys I help (like 99%) don’t want to and wouldn’t be ABLE to be like me because we just come from different backgrounds and have different priorities and views on relationships and life etc. I’ve only met two guys in person who are legit like myself, the vast majority are guys who have their shit together in life and will party and meet girls like normal 20-30yo’s should, and just have a bit more success here and there because of me, and then they’ll find a cool chick and settle down and progress down the normal white pickett fence good career 2.5 kids path that they were already on and some of them will do good things for the world that a guy like me will probably never do or be in a position to do.

    It’s like being an agent for creative people…you may not create anything yourself, but your goal is to help the people who CAN do it be in a position to do it. You don’t get the thanks or the spotlight in the long-run but that album was produced or that painting is in a museum or that film was made or that book was written because you helped arrange the right meeting with the right people for that person.

    So I don’t really look at it that bleakly. Most guys don’t want to be the jobless alcoholic bum anymore than you do, even if they can get laid doing that…just try teaching some of your buddies game and watch how much of it they’ll reject lol. They aren’t going to go “what?? I can quit law school and just play Xbox all day and get pussy?? Fuck it, I’m dropping out!!”

    And quite frankly, I’d be the first to smack them if they did…cause I need them to go do good things to make my contributions to their life mean something.

    • immoralgables
      on June 18, 2013 at 2:26 am
      Original Link

      I think somewhere near 1000 people downloaded the YaReally Compendium PDF from my mediafire back when I had it posted this winter and spring.

      Think about that, that’s a lot of people who were interested enough to pursue and study up on your musings and opinions.

      Even if 10% of them take that and info and actively incorporate it into their life, 100 random Internet strangers is still a lot to have influenced.

      For me personally, I was on a manosphere bent last year when I first starting soaking up all this info. I was going down a path of disillusioned, red-pill keyboard jockey. Reading your stuff and trying to improve my game and mentality off it definitely moved the needle to a more healthy and sociable headspace.

      Without that, I wouldn’t be this social guy who is trying to add value when he goes out. No 30 day challenge or concept of paying it forward to others. I would have gone out far less and read far more. It’s like your comments helped swing the pendulum back to a better headspace.

      And for that, I thank you.

      • YaReally
        on June 18, 2013 at 1:25 pm
        Original Link

        Glad to have helped! And in true butterfly effect fashion, the things you, or any of those 100 guys, do (making that archive for guys to read, or cheering up a depressed/shy stranger you met at a bar because you decided to go out and spread value, or giving some girl a relationship that affects her life positively, becoming close friends with someone you wouldn’t have met if you weren’t working on being social, teaching your future son or nephew some game one day that helps him, etc) may result in good things for the world that I’ll never know about.

        And I’m alright with that, because I’ve already seen a lot of positive change in the people I spend time with and I know I’ve positively affected a lot of people’s (guys and girls) lives. And my own life was transformed via learning game so I’ve experienced positive change and the effects of paying it forward first-hand.

        And hey, maybe all this good karma will balance out all the bad karma I keep racking up ;) lol

      • String
        on June 18, 2013 at 11:39 pm
        Original Link

        IG – Can you share that link to the PDF?

        And YaReally your posts are always solid. I mentally refer to your “life story” comment when I’m having a bullshit night out to keep things in perspective.

        • YaReally
          on June 20, 2013 at 8:40 am
          Original Link


          lol glad that long-ass ramble helps ya. My buddies who are just starting to learn game now complain so fucking much, I wish they could have seen the shit I had to go through, they’d appreciate how easy they have it lol

on June 17, 2013 at 10:45 pm
Original Link

I game in high-end clubs because I like women that dress up, but objectively I completely don’t belong there and shouldn’t be able to compete with the guys there and the girls there shouldn’t be into me. I literally own one pair of jeans and one dress shirt and one pair of black shoes (those rubbery ones you get at the mall for $70 that are like comfortable slip-on sneaker-bottoms). I’m not unemployed right now, but I have been at points, and income-wise I’m around the poverty line.

The guys in the clubs I go to are literally driving there in porsches and wearing expensive tailored suits and are jacked/ripped with 6-pack abs and $80 haircuts and work in high-paying industries, etc. Doctors, lawyers, engineers, iBankers, all that shit. This is the 25-50yo male crowd I’m talking about:

I’d break the good-looking studly rich men in these environments down like so:

40% – EXTREME Betas. Shit with girls and don’t know how to socialize. Even a lot of the super good-looking studly rich type guys fall into this category. These guys never get laid…even if a girl throws herself at him, which they do now and then based on his looks, that dies out 10 seconds in when he does something Beta and turns her off and then the girls complain to me that the guys there “are all boring”.

40% – Fun Betas. Shit with girls, but they’re social and out-going at least, and have some cool friends, buy shots for their group, maybe can dance, that kind of thing…they just don’t know how to get girls or what to do with any attention they get. These guys very rarely get laid and it takes a massive alignment of the planets and a lot of patience/aggressiveness on the girl’s part to hit him over the head with the clue-hammer and forgive a ton of fuck-ups and even THEN it’ll take him 2 months of dating to get the lay half the time just because he’s trapped in “being a gentleman” mode and that’s if the girl doesn’t lose interest or meet someone with more game/Alphaness. It’s painful to watch these guys for me because I see a ton of windows they aren’t taking and I’m like “aghghh you could have gotten her on day ONE if you weren’t so bad at this” lol

19% – Aimless Alphas. Sometimes Natural, sometimes learned, but these guys are cool, fun, out-going, social, flirty, can talk to girls, can get attraction, etc. BUT, they’re kind of “winging it” and letting what happens happen…so they sabotage themselves accidentally, or they don’t escalate when a window is there, or they miss out on a few subtle iois and don’t get a girl they could’ve gotten if their game was sharper, or they’re scared to cold approach and can only warm approach (social circle introduction or obvious/blatant Approach Invite from the girl) or they lose their girl to another Alpha because they don’t really consciously know how to compete, or they get into fights because to them Alphas aren’t afraid of fighting, etc. These guys get laid a lot but they don’t have much choice in who they bang because they rely on the girl essentially initiating things and then they rely on the universe allowing them to end up with that girl by not throwing too many difficult obstacles in the way. These guys also often end up with average girls instead of the hottest ones, because they can’t deal with the obstacles involved in getting the hottest ones (cockblocking friends, logistics, getting distracted by other guys, beta themselves to the hottest girls because they get intimidated by her hotness, etc.).

1% – Alphas with game. The guys who actually pull consistently, see and act on the open windows of opportunity, have other Alphas react to them, know how to escalate on girls, don’t have to “prove” themselves by getting into fights, etc. These guys can get laid most nights they want to and understand how to have a decent shot with the specific girls they want because they can handle obstacles. These are those magical mystical CEO badass “own the boardroom during the day, own the women at night” magic ninjas that guys who don’t go out are terrified of or are working themselves into an early grave hoping to BECOME (like they seriously think if they work enough hours and make enough $ and have a nice enough suit like bam, a light-switch is going to flip On and they’re just going to tear it down with women lol…these guys generally end up in the Fun Beta category when they do finally achieve all that success in looks/money/etc. that they wanted, because they still don’t know how to game and thought all that shit would compensate for that…then they end up having to pay for hookers or go the “models & bottles” route where promoters bring women to them to drink their alcohol and give them some attention and make them feel like champs without actually being attracted).

Now this is different from other environments, like a country bar might be more like 60% Aimless Alphas, because that crowd tends to be more “manly” and ready to scrap and all that shit because they’re sitting on the back of pickup trucks chugging beers and working construction and scrapping regularly…whereas the rich beta career crowd is often taking orders from women in a cozy coddling office environment and constantly worrying about whether he should wear the pink tie or the fuscha one for the meeting with the big-wigs halfway through his 18hr work-day so that environment creates more betas.

Anyway, stacking myself up against that breakdown, I’m not even remotely concerned about the first two categories. They pretty much don’t exist in terms of competition for girls, and I’ll befriend them just because I’m a friendly guy and they all love me instantly and, being rich, will buy me drinks/shots lol. These guys might as well not even exist, in terms of girls. So that’s 80% of the crowd of rich good-looking men who are completely irrelevant right from the start.

The Aimless Alphas are more trouble because they’re often the ones that get the most attention…they cause the most scene, and the girls flock to them because they can all tell right away “these are the Alpha guys, we want to meet them and hope that one of them has enough game to land us”. These guys tend to be pretty competitive too, so they’ll try to take eachother’s girls. One of the tactics these guys love is to jump into a set (in an abrupt abrasive way that would get his ass kicked in a sketchy bar) with a guy in it and grab the girl’s attention by telling them to come with him to do shots (or to buy her group a drink etc.). If the guy talking to the girls doesn’t have enough value yet, the girls jump on the offer because hey, free drink.

The unfortunate part is that the girls generally don’t end up fucking that guy, they just use him for the drink and go, but the original guy that was working on them didn’t have enough time to build things up, so in the end that dipshit doesn’t get any of the girls and neither does the original guy so no one gets laid…yes, I’m bitter about this move lol it happens a lot…if I’ve had enough time to work on the girl she’ll either stay with me, make her group shoot him down, or bring me with her and then he has to buy me a drink too (lol). Often you can’t even befriend these guys because they know you’re competition and have an adversarial mindset…although they sometimes try to tool you by buying you a drink (trying to flash $ to look Alpha) which is awesome to me because I just tell him that it doesn’t mean I’m going to put out for him tonight which girls love and guys tend get caught off guard by and I can work the girls off that.

This is all Field Experience. In the minds of keyboard jockeys, the club is like 80% rich guys who are all badass James Bond massive game-having rich porsche-driving badass adventure ninjas that get the hottest girls in the bar every night and can just walk past you and your girl will throw her drink in your face and jump on the guy’s dick. That’s just not how it plays out in reality.

Now specifically relating this to CH’s article topic: I’ve found a good strategy in these enviros is to be the extreme sleaze lol Like completely disqualify yourself from being any kind of Provider to the girls. I’ll tell them flat out that I’m poor and have no car and let them rub my belly and tell them I have a girlfriend and tell them I won’t take them to dinner etc. (George Costanza game lol)…but because I’m flirty and confident and my vibe is solid and I can handle obstacles/AMOGs/etc. and give the girls the gina tingles they want, they still want to fuck me.

Now for me, right now I’m not looking for a long-term married relationship or anything. I just want to bang these girls as casual fuckbuddies. So what I do is encourage them to go after these other guys and find themselves a nice Beta Provider that will buy them pretty things (that she’ll wear for me lol) and take them out to dinner and all that shit and that they should just use me for sex on the side while they find a “real boyfriend”. So often I’ll be in a situation where the girl is going on “dates” with some rich better-looking dude, but coming over to my place after her date to get laid because she doesn’t want to fuck him too soon…of course, fucking me makes him look even more beta, so often she’ll lose attraction for him instead of gain it and there’ve been times where the girl “dates” the other guy for a couple month without actually fucking him and then ditches him because the spark just isn’t there, but it might’ve been if she didn’t have me to fuck on the side lol

That said, this “go find yourself a Provider, just use me for sex” attitude does two things:

1) It keeps me from having to do anything Provider related…I literally just have them drive to my place and show up at my door ready to fuck and then leave after. They don’t expect birthday presents from me or dates or any of that shit, and it even stalls the “be my boyfriend or I can’t do this anymore” Ultimatum because I’m not their only option…I’m actively encouraging them to have other options, so they don’t have to Ultimatum me because I’m not their only chance for a Provider situation (until they fall in love of course, which I can also stall for a while by just not seeing them frequently, but the catch to not seeing them frequently is you’re more likely to lose them so there are a lot of nuances to this balance).

In fact when they come to me with like, bitching about work, I can say “Shhh. I don’t want to hear that shit, find a boyfriend to listen to your complaining lol”

2) It speaks to what women *REALLY* want, but society refuses to admit: They want a Provider beta to take care of them and pay their bills and put their kids thru college and all that shit…but they also want an Alpha to fuck and to get pregnant by and take care of their emotional/sexual needs (emotional in the sense of needing drama or to feel like a dirty slut in the bedroom etc., not emotional in the sense of “my co-worker Jenny is such a bitch!”). Ideally they want both of those in the same guy, but because it’s SO rare (like I say, even if they go doll themselves up for the high-end nightclubs, there’s only about 20% of guys in there who can satisfy this shit and 19% of those guys will fuck it up because they’re Aimless), the optimal strategy for women is having two guys, the same way you might have a really cool girlfriend who’s a good mother to your kids etc., and a mistress on the side for fucking.

So the end result is that I get what I want (casually banging hot chicks), the girls get what they want (a Provider guy to date and marry, and an Alpha guy on the side to fuck them proper), and the Provider guy kind of gets what he wants (a hot girl to take care of and shower with affection and spend all his hard-earned money on and raise a family with)…but he IS getting fucked over, he just doesn’t know it.

The only hitch is if the guy finds out lol Moreso if the chick is successful in getting the Alpha to get her preggers…which is why they then cue the “omg you don’t trust me!! :( :( ” waterworks if the Provider guy dares to ask for a paternity test before his name is on that birth certificate. And make no mistake, these chicks are TRYING to get their Alpha fuckbuddy to knock them up, especially once they have a Provider on the hook (married)…they try to just stick your dick in raw, hold you inside them when you cum if you were going to do the pull-out, complain about condoms, say their on birth control or that they have a tilted uterus so they’re not able to get pregnant so “don’t worry about it”, etc.

So where’m I going with all this? Well, as bad as it sounds, an optimal strategy for a guy like myself to live comfortably (but seeming like a bum to society) into my old age by making just enough of a living to take care of myself while I bang hot chicks (basically MGTOW but with game skills), and also ensure I successfully reproduce and that my kids are taken care of, is to go along with one of these chicks and let her get knocked up and pass the kid off as her Providers’ and let that rich dude and her raise him.

The only crapshoot is the paternity test, if the guy pushes for it hardcore, I could end up having to take care of the kid…but that’s why women have the waterworks and “don’t you trust me??” and doctors rush the guy to sign the birth certificate right away and society will badger a guy who daring to break up with a pregnant woman instead of “manning up” and taking care of someone else’s spawn, and divorce courts will rape him hard if he tries to leave, etc…this stuff is all designed to allow the girl to get herself preggers by an Alpha and force a Provider to raise the kid.

I’m not saying this is my plan, I’m still too young to really give a shit or take any chances (early 30s)…but if I met a hot chick who seemed like she’d be a decent enough mom and I really wanted to make sure I reproduce and she had a solid Provider on lock-down and I knew he was too Beta to refuse the kid if he found out and he was the same race as me, and I knew she would use every trick in the book to keep him from finding out the kid wasn’t his, and I knew they weren’t in a sexless marriage so it was believable that it could be his, and I knew her hamster would eventually convince even HER that somehow the kid is actually his because good girls don’t cheat and that guy she no longer sees (me) “didn’t count”…well, it wouldn’t be a terrible solution.

The reality of the red pill really is fucked up lol But like the Joker says, “I’m not a monster…I’m just ahead of the curve.” I wish things were different but they’re not, so I’m just adapting to reality.

  • Sidewinder
    on June 18, 2013 at 10:59 am
    Original Link

    Where do introspective guys fall in your breakdown? A lot of professionals are introverts, but still socially acceptable and decent with women. I like to think that I fit that criteria at least. Would your advice to my type be to act more outgoing, buy shots for everyone, work the room, etc…? I guess this is the philosophical question of whether one should play to their strengths, or to try to improve their weakest traits?

    • YaReally
      on June 18, 2013 at 1:15 pm
      Original Link

      I know you say “introspective” but just a quick note on the closely related topic of “introverts” first:

      I find a lot of “introverts” are just guys hiding behind a socially acceptable label and use that label as an excuse to avoid leaving their comfort zone, usually because they’re either scared to let loose more or they simply don’t understand how to. People who meet me now assume I’m an extrovert, but I used to consider myself an introvert before I got into game. What’s closer to reality is that we all have extro/intro sides to us and game is just about learning to embrace and express the extro side in certain environments/situations.

      I believe there are VERY few self-identifying “introverts” who CAN’T be more extroverted given the proper tools/guidance and motivation. Like I’ve said before, if you push yourself outside your comfort zone and go out for a year straight, opening 10 sets a night, getting laid here and there, making new friends, etc, and after all that you decide you still prefer to be alone with a good book or whatever, then you’re probably naturally an introvert. If you haven’t pushed those boundaries and you’ve declared yourself an introvert without having tested your extrovert side, you are just hiding behind a label and making excuses for not taking action.

      Anyway, for the introspective-but-not-socially-crippled guys you’re describing, they have to remember that game essentially comes down to expressing yourself and your personality to the girl.

      An outgoing party guy can do that in a chaotic nightclub because he’s naturally the center of attention and girls can see his congruent personality from across the room while he causes a scene.

      An introspective guy is going to fade into the background in that same environment because while he may be super intellectual and be able to build a deep emotional connection with a girl, he has to first get her attention to be in a position to demonstrate those attributes. That’s why a lot of these guys, if they go out alone, end up pretending they’re James Bond and lean against the bar all night, then go home alone having not talked to anyone…they might BE awesome but they didn’t get a chance to demonstrate that to anyone in that environment.

      So what’s the solution for them?

      1) Learn to be more outgoing, to loosen up, and to let their extroverted side out in the club. A LOT of guys are only “introverted” in the club because they’re scared to embarrass themselves or let go and are terrified of social judgement and tell themselves “that’s not me” when they’re really just chickenshit.

      I know this because I’m actually closer to the introspective guy you describe than I am to the outgoing Jersey Shore Stiffler party machine. And some of my social circles are full of high-energy crazy outgoing party guys who make me invisible beside them. So I’ve just learned to let my outgoing side out in these environments because I love the girls there and I know I need a window of opportunity to demonstrate my other awesome qualities and I won’t get that window if I can’t be outgoing in the club environment.

      That doesn’t mean I become a dancing monkey and try to act like my friends, it means that when my friends are causing a scene dancing, I know my game is primarily verbal so I’ll make sure to approach a girl or grab one of the girls we’ve met and say something she can’t ignore and start sucking her into my personality. So when my friends dance, I may approach a set of girls watching them and say “hey quit staring at my friends’ asses, ya fuckin perverts.”, forcing myself onto their radar, then isolate one with “you’re fun, what’s your name?” and turn her away from our friends and start leading her energy down to a lower key and build rapport/comfort and display my verbal awesomeness…thus creating my window in a high-energy club environment without being a full out Stiffler.

      Tyler from RSD has a bunch of videos on the steps he forces himself to take when he’s out to get out of his introspective “inside-my-head” mode and into a partying mode. Hit up his stuff on YouTube and try it out for like 6 months and see what gels for you.

      So the idea here isn’t that you’re changing yourself, it’s that you’re working toward embracing and enhancing a side of yourself that you may not be used to displaying except when you’re around close friends (like there’s no social judgement worries when you’re with your best friends shouting and laughing over an Xbox game together…if you can do that, guess what, you have an extroverted side, you just don’t know how or are scared to tap into it in public with strangers).

      The main idea is that you learn to get her attention so you can then demonstrate all your cool shit that she would never have seen because you were blending into the background.

      Or 2) Change your environment to one that’s more conducive to displaying your quiet introspective personality. ie – do Daygame instead of nightclub game. Go to happy hour at a chill lounge instead of a chaotic nightclub full of loud music and energy and distractions and cockblocks etc. Game at the mall and in bookstores and coffee shops and all that.

      And/or focus on social circle game, where you’re given an introduction and the girl is forced to be around you long enough to see you express yourself in your introspective way. Like at a club if you’re solo, you’ll blend into the background and go home alone…but if you have a group of 5-10 friends there, and some of them are extroverted and/or female, well hey, now you’re probably going to meet a few new girls a night just thru your friends, and those girls are going to be sitting at your table, or at your pre-drinking gathering, or coming to an after-party, or even just forced to spend a few minutes talking to you while your mutual friend goes to the bathroom.

      So in this method, you’re putting yourself in situations that make it easier (or take the responsibility out of your hands entirely) to get that window of opportunity to display your personality.

      The 2nd way is a lot easier a route, but it means you’re more limited in that your selection of girls are what the Universe throws at you. If you’re a guy who likes dolled up girls in minidresses, you’re probably not going to find those in the bookstore or be introduced to them by your nerdy Xbox buddy, so route 1 is something to look at exploring, or playing up the social circle angle at clubs with route 2. If you’re a guy who hates that type of girl and is into the quieter girl-next-door types, hitting bookstores etc with route 2 might be better for you.

      Essentially you have to know what you want in terms of the type of girls you want, and you have to then figure out “how do I create or end up in a situation where I have an opportunity to display my personality to those types of girls?”

      One of the oldschool PUAs had a fetish for Japanese flight attendants. Did he go to normal North American bars hoping to just randomly run into one? No, he specifically flew on Japanese flights and hung out in airport lounges and worked his way into the industry social circles etc to put himself in situations where he’d have opportunities to meet that type of girl and demonstrate his personality.

      Hope that helps. Are you honestly getting the kind of girls you truly want? If not, it’s time to start looking at “what do I want and how do I get that window?”

      • Sidewinder
        on June 18, 2013 at 2:50 pm
        Original Link

        “what do I want and how do I get that window?” This is THE question.

        I’m looking for quality. I will take a 7 with virtue over an 8 or 9 any day. Problem with quality girls 24 and up that share my priorities is that they do not often go out to the clubs and are typically taken.

        Your assessment is correct: I’m more often than not left waiting for the universe to bring these girls to me. I meet them through social circles, or internet. I do not know how to proactively get out and find the girls I’m looking for. Day game is very easy to open, very difficult to number close. I can chat up anyone on the street, coffee shop or bookstore, and 9 out of 10 girls will respond positively. But when I then attempt to get their number, they go cold. I think they feel a sense of social betrayal: they were being polite and friendly to a stranger in a public place, and now the guy is trying to turn it into a pickup. Obviously I need to do a better job of escalating the conversation sexually before asking for the number, but in in the moment it really feels sketchy to push the flirting too far.

        • immoralgables
          on June 18, 2013 at 3:39 pm
          Original Link

          Sidewinder. Here is where you could do better with daygame.

          1) open direct. Make your intentions clear early. This does not mean whip out your penis, and it def doesn’t mean asking her for the time. Find direct openers that work during the day
          2) Start qualifying the girl more. It doesn’t seem like you’re doing that.
          3) get the number as an AFTERTHOUGHT to the plans or date you setup with the girl. The number is the means to the end. Not the end in itself. Use the phone for purposes of meeting.

          People can argue on what I just said but to me it seems like doing those three will help you out in daygame.

          Too many guys open indirect, don’t make their intentions clear, don’t qualify/screen the girl and then at best they get a flakey number without any immediate plans to meet.

          • YaReally
            on June 18, 2013 at 8:05 pm
            Original Link

            Solid advice from immoralgables right here. Same advice I would give you.

            Some elaboration:

            1) Going direct. You don’t have to slap them across the face with your dick as a hello, and you don’t even have to go INSTANTLY direct and you don’t have to STAY direct…you just want to make sure that within the first minute she knows you’re into her Man to Woman style instead of Friend to Friend style. So compare these two approaches:

            “hey, who do you think lies more men or women?” (lol, going oldschool here)
            “women blah blah”
            “oh really? because my friend blah blah” (pointless story)
            “lol that’s so funny”
            “so what are you up to today? (blah blah)”
            “blah blah”
            “cool…so umm can I have your number?” (surprise, I have a penis!)
            “lol wut?” (awkwarrrrrd)

            (more direct)
            “hey, who do you think lies more men or women?”
            “women blah blah”
            “oh man, FINALLY someone agrees with me. My friends all gave me shit. I think I’m in love (grab around the shoulder), we’re going to have to get married now.”
            “omg lol you’re crazy”
            “so what are you up to today? (blah blah)”
            “blah blah”
            “Okay, I accept your invitation, let’s go!” (assuming attraction etc.)
            “omg lolol nooo I have to do blah blah”
            “lol okay okay. Give me your # then and we’ll hang out sometime.” (I have a penis! …but you already knew that because I went direct earlier)

            Remember, you don’t have to stay across the line, you just have to cross it so she knows you CAN cross it, then you can back off and resume as normal.

            2) Qualifying her more. Make her invest. Tyler from RSD explained this my favorite way, something like: “Say you win something in a box of crackerjacks, and it’s some stupid little prize…you’re still going to go claim it, because you invested in it.” The more you make her qualify herself to you, the more she feels like you’re a guy she should be qualifying herself to you, the more high-value you seem.

            Would Brad Pitt get the same response you’re getting from those same girls you talked to? No? Then it’s simply a matter of value…with Brad Pitt those girls are dying to qualify themselves to him and get his approval, and he’s probably going to be pretty picky and test them a bit and make them invest in him before he allows them to give him their number.

            Qualifying is the stuff like Tyler’s “you and I would never get along” routine and stuff like “can you cook? I need a girlfriend who can cook” etc. It’s a whole art-form in itself really, do some Googling to learn how the structure works in terms of when to qualify them, how to react to their responses, etc.


            3) This is big. Don’t go for the number until you’ve already talked about plans…this is oldschool Mystery Method, a number is actually a last resort. Ideally you want to go on an insta-date right there, but if you can’t, then you make solid plans (a “time bridge”, see MM for details), and then get the number only because you need it to keep in touch for those plans…VS getting it for no reason (which she’ll assume means trying to get in her pants, and which she’ll assume that in a creepy way if you haven’t build up enough attraction etc.).

            One thing to try is to work on going a little more direct and qualifying more and STOP getting phone numbers…wait until SHE asks you for YOUR number. And if she doesn’t, keep working on your game until girls start to. That’s when you know you’re hitting the right switches with girls and they’re going “oh shit I don’t want to risk not seeing this high-value guy again!! I’d better demand he takes my number or offer it to him so I don’t miss out!!”. It means losing some chicks and not getting laid thru this avenue for a bit, but hey, game is a slow process and you’re fucking it up anyway so why not fuck it up on purpose toward a goal? ;)


            “Too many guys open indirect, don’t make their intentions clear, don’t qualify/screen the girl and then at best they get a flakey number without any immediate plans to meet.”

            Yep, I know a few people who run this style of game really well, but it’s verrrry slow going for them and they do it because they’re extremely physically unattractive. Remember at the end of the day you just need time to display your attractive qualities to the girl…so a Quasimodo deformed midget looking guy can benefit from going in totally under the radar and working the girl for 6 months to get the lay. But the guys who have to run this style of game are pretty rare. The average Joe should be listening to your advice here. :)

        • Hook or Crook
          on June 18, 2013 at 4:02 pm
          Original Link

          But when I then attempt to get their number, they go cold. I think they feel a sense of social betrayal: they were being polite and friendly to a stranger in a public place, and now the guy is trying to turn it into a pickup.

          I shuddered in empathy while reading that. That “coldness” that you talk about can be as shocking as it is brutal, and I’ve experienced it so many times that it has noticeably hurt my indirect pickup attempts – so much so that I don’t even want to go indirect anymore. Girls that I have seemingly built great rapport with (all daygame) will visibly shut down, even when I’m segueing into something as innocuous as “Look, I have to get going, but you seem pretty cool; let me get your number.” I can only guess that I am not appearing as laid-back and natural as I believe that I am, and they’re sensing my nervousness; that, or I’m targeting girls too young/ too pretty/ etc. for my current game level. There is definitely an incongruity occurring somewhere, and I can only surmise that its due to not having created enough attraction prior to going for the close, thus the sense of ‘betrayal’ that they feel.

          • YaReally
            on June 18, 2013 at 8:21 pm
            Original Link

            The fact that he can detect/read that coldness and has narrowed it down to them feeling “socially betrayed”, is good stuff.

            There’s nothing wrong with fucking up, that’s fine, as long as you look at “okay where exactly am I going wrong here??” and try to narrow it down and then fix that issue, which immoralgables’ advice will hopefully help with. It’s not something he’ll fix in a weekend, but it’s something that 6 months from now he could be no longer running into this problem that’s been keeping him from getting the types of girls he wants.

            “Girls that I have seemingly built great rapport with (all daygame) will visibly shut down, even when I’m segueing into something as innocuous as “Look, I have to get going, but you seem pretty cool; let me get your number.”"

            Same advice to you as to him…do some more qualifying and push/pull, get her chasing you. Read how cat-string theory works, etc. You’re getting friendly interactions and your comfort/rapport skills are probably solid, but that doesn’t mean they’re ATTRACTIVE interactions with some sexual chemistry to them, so going for the number to hang out is incongruent because “oh, wait, what you have a penis??”


            Fuckin’ love this archive lol One day all my comments will just be me linking to my own previous comments.

      • James
        on June 19, 2013 at 7:56 am
        Original Link

        YaReally, you got me sold. I am done being the nice beta, outgoing but clueless. I have no problem going up to people randomly striking up convo. But I am clueless with tactics, strategy, methods. Not scripts, just strategy and tactics. So what do I do? Rather, is there a certain method (MM for example) that you use primarily? I know theory without practice is just a mental form of jerking off, so assume I will practice and get out there. I am done being the nice guy, and want badly to be the guy who doesn’t give a shit. But I need someone to say “ok go read this and get out and do what it says without fear”.

        • YaReally
          on June 20, 2013 at 8:38 am
          Original Link

          Watch (building sexual tension, watch from 27:00 to 50:00):

          Watch (building sexual tension, watch all of this):

          Watch (overall night-game plan from open to close, watch all of this):

          If those aren’t enough and you want some reading material for the shitter, get Magic Bullets by Lovesystems, it’s like a streamlined version of Mystery Method that won’t take long to read.

          Congrats! You now have all you need to get laid like crazy.

          I was going to recommend some deeper shit, but it’ll just give you paralysis-by-analysis and fuck you up. If you can already get into conversations with strangers, you don’t need much work from there…apply the content above and you should start seeing dramatic results once it becomes natural to you. If you run into problems still, post about them and we can try narrowing them down for ya.

          The jist if you can already get into casual conversations is:
          1) be more sexual in general
          2) make her invest/qualify herself to you
          3) screen for logistics
          4) lead lead lead instead of waiting for her to say “please stick it in me” lol

          Good luck, and props for taking control of your life! Remember that all this shit is useless if you aren’t out consciously attempting to apply it every week. It’ll be worth it down the road. :)

  • John
    on June 18, 2013 at 11:25 am
    Original Link

    My one friend works as a promoter for a club like this. Said to me once, “All the dues buying bottle service are the brokest motherfuckers I know”. Basically took it to mean that to them, bottle service is their “game”

    • YaReally
      on June 18, 2013 at 7:42 pm
      Original Link

      lol bottle service is for suckers. If you’re in Vegas, ya, get bottle service. Anywhere else, don’t do it. ESPECIALLY if you’re not in a top nightclub in a top name city.

      Here there’s anywhere between 5 and 20 bottle services going on a night out…these guys are dropping $1000 for a bottle of Grey Goose and a waitress bringing it to them with a sparkler. This is a blast at first, like “look how important we are, we have a VIP booth, everyone is jealous!!” Until a couple hours in when they realize pussy isn’t lining up at the booth to come beg for their dick and that they still have to go out and actually approach girls to get them in the booth. And on top of that, they’ve been isolated from the crowd in that booth for the last 2 hours, so they’re not in a social groove and haven’t dropped any feelers out there etc.

      Meanwhile my buddies and I are causing a scene down with the “peasants” and we’ve chatted up a handful of girls and made some new dude friends and the attention is on us. The girls don’t give a shit if they have to sit on a rickety old wooden stool to talk to us, because we’re fun. The guys in the booth are subscribing to the notion that women are attracted to money and they think that having a booth shows status.

      When my friends walk into a club, we’re shaking hands with half the bouncers and the waitresses are coming over to hug us and flirt and the bartenders know our names and preferred drinks and legit like us…not because we drop thousands a night but because we’re fun and social and chat with them and have built some comfort/rapport with them all. We have legit status that girls are attracted to.

      The guys in the booth? Everyone knows they dropped $1000 to get that booth. And everyone knows a homeless guy outside could drop $1000 and get that same booth. There’s no status in it. But it cost them $1000 to find that out the hard way.

      And the worst part is that usually these guys have big egos, so they can’t ADMIT that they suck with girls and that their money they worked so hard for isn’t the magic pussy pill they thought it would be, and that reality is too scary and harsh and would force them to re-think too much of their life, so they just keep going back getting bottle service every week. It’s sad and unfortunate, in a way.

      Paul Janka said it best, he said something like “when I was poor I’d meet girls all the time…at the bus stop, on the subway, at the grocery store, in a shared apartment building, etc…when I started making money, I drove a car and had my own private place and ate at exclusive restaurants and ended up isolating myself with my wealth.”

      Now in Vegas (and certain other places), promoters are tasked with the job of bringing girls over to you if you’re dropping a bunch of $ on bottle service…so THAT can be worth it, but even then you should understand that you’re actually starting from a deficit because the fact that you had to buy bottle service to be around hot girls puts you in a beta position in the girls’ mind from the start.

      The best guy to be, to the girls, would be the guy who’s friends forced him to get bottle service lol That’s usually the role I play when I’m with guys who want to blow some $…like “ohh ya, I think this is all douchey, but my buddies don’t go out much because they’re married and they wanted to really celebrate this thing so I was like ya fuck it let’s do it I want you guys to have fun. I’m glad I met you though, you seem like a down-to-earth chick…you know this is as gay as I do lol but don’t tell my friends, I want them to have fun and your friend looks like she’s hitting it off with my buddy.” That’s a pretty powerful attitude to go in with in those situs.

  • brosbhos
    on June 18, 2013 at 1:14 pm
    Original Link

    Step up and start chasing money. FAST. A starting point:

    As a club fiend, but i go for the music, i can definitely relate to your description of the crowd.

    Here is the music i’m into if you wonder:
    Just an example of a festival i might end up in later this year.

    And a video of another festival i was at last year:

    • YaReally
      on June 18, 2013 at 7:28 pm
      Original Link

      I think it’s fascinating, from a general social psychology perspective, that there’s stuff like this now. Like “brogrammers” (bro programmers going out to party and act all frat-boy despite having a nerdy job).

      It’s become very socially acceptable for men to learn a bit of game…maybe not the hardcore shit, but the general “don’t buy girls drinks, fix your clothing style, be social when you’re out with friends, push for the phone number, etc.” stuff. Back when I started in pickup, it was this super underground almost shameful thing. Like the MSM shits on PUAs now, but there’s so much evidence of game working and so many men have tried applying some of it and gotten results that we all know anti-gamers and feminists are retarded and we don’t listen to them…but back like 10 years ago, you might as well admit you worship the devil lol

      All in all, the ultimate alpha attitude around other men is to befriend them instead of competing against them. So I welcome the WSPs and the brogammers and the Jersey Shore wannabes…come on out, let’s party and get laid. Just don’t turn it into a competition, because my skillset is sharper than yours and I will make you regret it. :)

  • DatBro
    on June 18, 2013 at 5:27 pm
    Original Link

    I am the 19%, but it is not as bad as YaReally sells it.

    You make far too many assumptions in one (not so) little comment.

    I still have some semblence of ‘game’ – I don’t think I have any game at all but I have a reputation for being a player somehow – and my skill with women continues to increases with age.

    Am I as good as I COULD be? Hell no. I’m game-aware but I don’t spend the meticulousness that you all do on improving your game.

    Do I care? Sorta, but not as much as any of you do.

    I was blessed with good looks at a young age which allowed me to develop an “education” on women despite being largely introverted and at times antisocial.

    You are wrong on a few points on guys like me, but you are EXACTLY right in that we can’t really choose who we end up with.

    90% of my bangs have been from girls approaching me. I also can’t remember a 9 that I’ve banged who I actually approached.

    At the same time, I don’t buy girls drinks. I tell them to buy me one. Or I steal theirs as they talk to me (a lovely tactic).

    But man, I’ve sometimes pulled some of the hottest women on the planet. But, this becomes few and far between.

    So you aren’t completely correct on that note, yes I do end up with what people on the Internet consider “average” (in real life it’s understood they’re cute 6s).

    But I’ve also BEEN APPROACHED by 8s and 9s. Yeah, I fuck up a lot. I fumble often. But when it works, or I’ve “warmed up” on a few cute girls I have no problem getting them to fall in love with me. Many times before the “warm up” I’ll get caught off guard by a dime approaching me and I completely stumble over myself.

    Anyways, I’m not here to pick apart your argument, as I will generalize and say you are fairly accurate in your analysis. The sleazeballs DO get laid. They DO get laid more than most rich guys.

    I’ve tried it before. It didn’t work out for me. It ruined my reputation, and my lays only marginally increased. From an Economist’s standpoint, the marginal BENEFIT of acting sleazier was outweighed by the marginal COST of dampened social connections, a weaker network, and isolation at times.

    PS: the aimless alphas you deal with don’t seem to be as quick on their feet as they are in the South (cityfolk, not countryfolk).

    PPS: don’t think you’re that special that girls are wearing OTHER guy’s purchased stuff for you. Someone on the Chateau once said: “cuckolding is everywhere” – and it actually may have been you who said that YaReally LOL!!!!

    • PimpinBlueStar
      on June 18, 2013 at 6:13 pm
      Original Link

      “PS: the aimless alphas you deal with don’t seem to be as quick on their feet as they are in the South (cityfolk, not countryfolk)”

      I agree with this and the reason, IMO, is that people in the south tend to be WAY more cliquish then say, out here in LA. Like, night and day different from my viewpoint. A lot of “who’s who” and “this family marries into that family” is the concern of the high quality girls.

      When I was younger and first getting into game, I use to cold approach blindly in situations where people were only 2 or 3 people removed from everyone else and, like you, i took a hit to my rep. It’s so rare that a stranger would bust in and everyone would quickly be like “What is this guy doing?” People would pick up on it quick. Even a lot of girls weren’t used to it going down this way. Some would be, but not a lot. Gotta be much more in tune with social circle game in the south.

      Here, lol it’s like pressing the reset button after every approach. People are always coming and going and everyone has bigger fish to fry than to talk about a botched attempt at a pickup on so-and-so from two months ago. Not to say it can’t happen every now and then, but aggressiveness and assertiveness are the names of the game out here.

      • YaReally
        on June 20, 2013 at 8:10 am
        Original Link

        Ya, this varies from venue to venue within a city too. There are certain venues that I tend to stay away from because they’re super cliquish and it’s annoying to deal with and try to crack via cold approach. I can get in with the groups slowly over time, but I can go to a different venue with girls just as hot or hotter and not have to do all that work lol

    • YaReally
      on June 18, 2013 at 7:22 pm
      Original Link

      “I am the 19%, but it is not as bad as YaReally sells it.”

      True, I really should have thrown in there that for a lot of guys it’s good enough. I mean that 19% is still getting pussy fairly frequently compared to that 80% of incels there. And they still do tap some good poon (it tends to run the gamut from 5s – 10s, but in those high-end environments there tends not to BE a lot of girls in the 5 range, because the hot girls know to bring out their hot friends or the bouncers won’t let them in lol). And they have fun when they’re out, and they’re social and tend to have lots of friends, etc. etc.

      Being in that 19% really isn’t that bad…there are just a few points where if you have a certain personality type, it digs at your soul every time you wake up next to a 7 knowing you didn’t have the balls to approach the 9 you REALLY wanted and you only went home with the 7 because she approached you at last call. Like, that doesn’t bother a lot of guys, especially Naturals with a high sex-drive who just care about getting laid consistently in general…but for a lot of us who’ve consciously worked on studying/learning game, we got into it to have choice and getting stuck in that 19% can be a fucking nightmare plateau.

      Also for the record, I have buddies in all these categories. I don’t care if a guy is good with girls or not, in terms of whether I’ll be his friends or have fun when I’m out with him. I can just read people and tell which category they’re in and if they seem receptive to a pep talk or some advice, I’ll help ‘em out…if they’re happy as a clam doing their thing then hey, good on ‘em. I’ll be around if they decide to try to change things down the road.

      “I don’t think I have any game at all but I have a reputation for being a player somehow”
      “I was blessed with good looks at a young age which allowed me to develop an “education” on women despite being largely introverted and at times antisocial.”

      You’re probably just a standard Natural. That’s totally fine. You were in a fortunate position to Naturally learn a lot of skills that guys like myself had to consciously learn. If I had a son, I would hope that he grew up to be a Natural because I would hope that he didn’t HAVE to go this slow-ass meticulous route I had to go lol

      “I’m game-aware but I don’t spend the meticulousness that you all do on improving your game. Do I care? Sorta, but not as much as any of you do.”

      That’s pretty much what it comes down to. If it doesn’t bother you enough to focus on changing it, that’s awesome, more power to ya and I hope it all works out awesome for you, no sarcasm at all. Even my buddies who are in that lower 80%, some of them are perfectly happy just going out and having fun and occasionally getting a number here and there, or they have other shit in their lives they’re focused on more…and my attitude is the same for them, more power to ya if you’re satisfied.

      It’s when a guy stays in that 19% out of fear of getting out of his comfort zone or not knowing HOW to get into that 1%, and he has that longing “sigh…I wish I could’ve talked to that 9 I was checking out……” shit haunting the back of his mind, that’s when it’s like okay dude, time to change some shit up, let’s get this handled for ya.

      This kind of circles back into Blackdragon’s post here:

      A lot of that 19% are Naturals and/or also the Pleasure of Sex types. As long as they’re getting laid, they’re happy, they don’t care if she’s an 8 or a 9 or if they pushed themselves or their game…long as they got to stick their dick in something decent looking, fuck it, that’s a good night. I fall into the Thrill of the Hunt category, where I would rather go 6 months without getting laid if it meant landing a 9-10, than get laid every day by 7s.

      This is just our own individual internal wiring. We can’t control which type we are, and neither type is better or worse than the other. It’s just that certain types make certain goals more difficult: ie – a PoS guy would have trouble only going for 9s because he’d get frustrated at not getting laid as frequently, and a TotH guy would have trouble going for consistent sex because he would loathe himself waking up beside 7s every day.

      But if you’re a PoS guy who’s goal is to get laid as much as possible, you’re fucking set lol. That’s a goal that’s aligned with that mentality. Just like if you’re a TotH guy who’s goal is to get the top shelf pussy or push yourself game-wise into tough situations, you’re set too, because those two are aligned.

      “you are EXACTLY right in that we can’t really choose who we end up with. 90% of my bangs have been from girls approaching me. I also can’t remember a 9 that I’ve banged who I actually approached.”

      This is the crucial part right here. I think a lot of the PUA community got into pickup because we said “we have NO choice in our lives whatsoever”, so we decided to take control. So when we get into that 19% we’re going “I’ve put a lot of work into this, and I did it to have choice, and even tho I’m getting laid a lot in this 19%, I still don’t have that choice that I got into this for…” Whereas a Natural might get into pickup more because “I love getting laid, but I want to get laid more frequently or more efficiently, or by hotter girls if possible but it’s all good as long as I’m getting my rocks off”.

      “At the same time, I don’t buy girls drinks. I tell them to buy me one. Or I steal theirs as they talk to me (a lovely tactic).”

      Right, when I wrote “sometimes beta themselves to the girl” as one of the fuckups, I didn’t mean they all do that. I meant more like where you wrote this:

      “Many times before the “warm up” I’ll get caught off guard by a dime approaching me and I completely stumble over myself.”

      Like, a 19% guy who’s on his game that night will kill it, and he’ll definitely kill it with average girls, but a lot of the time when a legit stunner comes up to him it’ll be out of his comfort zone and catch him off guard and he’ll stumble and treat her “extra special” which, depending on the guy and his history, can often result in beta behaviors. Like the guys who are making it rain buying shots, that’s their MOVE. They don’t HAVE another move, because they’ve done it before and it’s worked and they stick to it. They’re Alpha but they don’t understand that they’re sabotaging themselves with beta tactics.

      It’s not all of them, but in this crowd it’s pretty common, because these guys are in this crowd *BECAUSE* they subscribe to the societal notion that “money gets bitches”, so of course they revert to using money, you know? It works on the average girls but the 9s are like “aww, he’s one of THOSE guys :( ” and often turn off.

      So ya, you’re doing good shit, which means you’re probably in the upper half of that 19%, but a lot of your group isn’t as smart and is fucking themselves over lol

      “But man, I’ve sometimes pulled some of the hottest women on the planet. But, this becomes few and far between. So you aren’t completely correct on that note, yes I do end up with what people on the Internet consider “average” (in real life it’s understood they’re cute 6s).”

      Right, I describe one of my buddies to friends as “he gets everything from 4s to 10s, I’ve seen him pull some gorgeous women, but he’s just as happy with an average 6 as he is with a 9.” And again, as long as you’re happy with the cute 6s, fuck it, do your thing.

      “But I’ve also BEEN APPROACHED by 8s and 9s.”

      Even here, the problem is simply that you didn’t get to choose the 8s/9s. Maybe there’s a bunch of 9s in the room and all of them are blondes except one who’s a redhead, and you want the redhead, but the blondes approach you and you feel like you’re too frozen to approach that redhead, so you end up going home with the blonde, and that’s awesome, any guy would be happy as shit to fuck her…but you still think about the redhead the next day. That’s the frustration that the 1% got fed up with and took action to try to fix.

      I’m not saying I can go pull any 10 in the club blindfolded like a pickup ninja…*BUT* when I see that 10, I know “I can go open this set, then merge them with that set, then be set up with her group, run group theory to get her interest, isolate her and escalate from there” because I have that conscious skillset. Sure, I’ll still chicken out if I’m not warmed up etc. or stumble and fuck up or get caught off-guard by obstacles…but I know that ultimately I DO have the skillset to approach the girls I want, and even just having that knowledge can be reassuring and help ward off that frustration.

      “The sleazeballs DO get laid. They DO get laid more than most rich guys.”

      It would blow a lot of guys-who-don’t-go-out’s minds to learn how many of the rich guys in a club are going home alone and haven’t had sex with better than a 6 in months/years (unless she’s paid for or they bribe her with coke or get her shit-faced and half-rape her etc.).

      “I’ve tried it before. It didn’t work out for me. It ruined my reputation, and my lays only marginally increased. From an Economist’s standpoint, the marginal BENEFIT of acting sleazier was outweighed by the marginal COST of dampened social connections, a weaker network, and isolation at times.”

      Right. This comes down to personality and congruency. It’s good that you experimented with it so that you know “that’s not the route for me to go”. It gels with my personality really well, and the way I look, act, talk, my views on women/relationships, my life in general, etc. are all congruent to this sleazeball vibe. I don’t say “I’m not boyfriend material, we can fuck but don’t fall in love with me.” and then cuddle up to watch DVDs all evening together a month later. And even my social circles know me as a good guy with a sleazeball edge, so they accept it and if they introduce girls to me they know what that girl is in for, whereas in some social circles a good stand-up gentlemanly guy running sleaze game might have his buddies telling the girl “I dunno wtf is into him, you’re a gorgeous girl he shouldn’t treat you like that” etc. My friends just kind of sit back and watch me do my thing and laugh at the outrageous shit I say and get away with.

      “PS: the aimless alphas you deal with don’t seem to be as quick on their feet as they are in the South (cityfolk, not countryfolk).”

      These guys are fucking terrible. The sad part is that a lot of them know some game, I can always spot that and game is so engrained into the nightlife culture now that most of these guys have watched some Keys to the VIP or read some Mystery Method or have some basic knowledge etc. But it’s such a shallow understanding of game that it actually makes them incongruent…they do 3 things right, followed by 3 things completely wrong, and then lose the girl, because they didn’t immerse themselves. Then on top of it, they overcompensate ego-wise because they’re rich and their buddies are all Jersey Shore wannabes talking themselves up (that alpha male competitiveness that’s big in the 19%) so they can’t admit that they should work on their game a bit, and they just keep fucking up. Next thing you know the girl snubs them and they’re shouting “Whatever, fuck you, you’re ugly ANYWAY!!!” and lol’ing with their “boyz” after, before they all go home alone and he calls up his reliable 6 fuckbuddy that he secretly hates that he has to resort to calling lol

      The guys in my current city are kind of like you’d picture in, I don’t know, DC or LA or something, where they’re well-off but they don’t have that hard-nosed Type A intense personality that people in New York or Toronto have. THOSE guys would be a lot tougher to game around…but I find that those NYC/TO type guys tend to be in very specific cities and the vast majority of North America is more like the guys I’m around now.

      A lot of the top oldschool PUAs came from Toronto, and when you meet TO people you can tell why PUAs were forced to develop solid skillsets there…they would get chewed up and spit out if they didn’t. But then that same game is usually overkill for like, some smaller city out in the middle of Wisconson lol

      “PPS: don’t think you’re that special that girls are wearing OTHER guy’s purchased stuff for you. Someone on the Chateau once said: “cuckolding is everywhere” – and it actually may have been you who said that YaReally LOL!!!!”

      lol I just say that for the benefit of the guys who are still working on swallowing the red pill. :) Guys who get laid know that this happens all the time, but for the new guys it can be a mind-fuck of “wait, so when I bought my ex that nice dress she wanted, and I found out later that she was cheating on me, she might’ve worn that dress while fucking him????” that stings at first but is healthy to understand down the road.

      Anyway, thanks for chiming in. It’s always good to hear from different personality/game types. I hang with a lot of the 19% crowd and guys like you in general, and usually that 19% crowd has way more variety in their personality types and beliefs and game styles/techniques than the Extreme Beta crowd who are all just exact clones of eachother with no personal identities lol

      And for the guys who are currently IN that first 80% of the crowd, sorry to shit on you, but don’t worry, you can claw your way up into the other 20%…all you need to do is study some game and apply it in the field regularly. We’ve all done it. I started out at the bottom of the Extreme Beta crowd.

  • PimpinBlueStar
    on June 18, 2013 at 5:53 pm
    Original Link

    Excellent breakdown of the “game film” lol. This very well matches my experience in seeing guys in higher end venues here in LA.

    A lot of the Aimless alphas (and I’m loathe to include them here) are “producers” (any and many douchebags claim this title…what have you worked on recently? lol), B and C list celebs, up and coming rappers, etc that are all banking on prestige and status to land chicks. I’m not hating on these guys (I could care less about status OR prestige) but as an evaluation of their tactic…I can’t help but see this as weak. I mean, take status and their credit card away and attention from these girls dries up.

    Can I blame the girls? Hell no! If I put myself in their shoes I see how exciting the perks of being a socialite could be especially if I’m a young hot chick looking to have fun. But as for the guys, these guys couldn’t create natural attraction from the girls by using THEMSELVES (not the narcissistic image that they want people to believe they are) if their life depended on it.

    Another thing on the girls who are in this scene. I hear a lot of guys bitching out here about how the hottest girls only will fuck famous dudes, guys with money, etc and this is so bullshit and hilarious I don’t know where to begin. Yes, indeed they might be, but to take yourself out of the running (ahem…Sidewinder ;) ) because you think only “this type of girl will get with this type of guy” just lets me know your’e either a) not approaching or b) when you do you’re trying to front like the kind of guy you think the kind of girl would want to get. She will bang you too without all of that stuff if you own who you are and give her the space to do what she wants around the AA’s to get her kicks while she’s young.

    I can promise this: I do lots of daygame here and it’s fucking amazing. Why? Almost NO guys are approaching the hottest chicks as themselves. I recently got with a girl who, by the narcissistic label of society says there’s no chance in hell that I would be able to bed her, told me how brave I was because no guys can just be themselves around her. Like, it was so novel to her that someone would just treat her like a normal person because she has her ass kissed almost 24/7 from guys wanting to impress or act like what they think a girl like that would respond to. And yet, lil ole me, all 5’4″, rolls up to her, tell her she looks nice and just wanted to come say hey (OMG so beta), talk some normal shit, make her laugh at herself from some wise crack I made about her wearing black after she complained about how hot it was that day…all the while I’m smirking, having fun and not caring much about anything because I do this every damn day. Tell her that if she ever wants to take a night off from being one of the cool kids here in Beverly Hills I have a nice little spot off the beaten path that has comfortable chairs, get the number, talk as i get it and text her later.

    But i digress. Most guys would rather complain than do anything, even if freedom is staring them right in the face.

    In summary: Yareally sir, great writeup as always and if you ever want to get gay together, hit me up on Grindr bro. We’ll keep it low like Mark Foley and pages.

    • YaReally
      on June 20, 2013 at 8:08 am
      Original Link

      “I’m not hating on these guys (I could care less about status OR prestige) but as an evaluation of their tactic…I can’t help but see this as weak. I mean, take status and their credit card away and attention from these girls dries up.”

      lol ya, I agree. I don’t hate these guys, they’re just using what they think will work as best they can…society says “tell her you’re a Producer” or “buy a round of shots”, so they try it. And now and then it works so they get some positive reinforcement for it, so they stick to it and it becomes their “move”.

      Over the years I’ve helped guys learn game and if I run into a guy who has an obvious crutch, like say a guy dances really good and that’s his “move”, I’ll tell him “No more dancing. We’re going to approach girls and you’re not allowed to dance.” Or if a guy always drops that he’s a doctor, thinking that will impress the girl, I’ll tell him “No more doctor shit. You’re a cashier at a convenience store now.” and not let him use that crutch.

      Because like you say, even if the guy gets the girl, take away that status the girl was into him for and she’s not really attracted to HIM, as a person. Most of the girls I hook up with or see regularly as fuckbuddies have no idea what I do for a living. Like, at all lol And if I had a Ferrari etc. I would hide it and tell them I ride the bus. They can find that stuff out about me down the road when I want to make them my serious girlfriend.

      This is also why these guys don’t really bother me if I have to go toe-to-toe with them, because I know their self-worth is based on external things (their job, their looks, their success with women, etc.), so to make them react to me and qualify themselves, all I have to do is not be impressed by the thing their self-worth is based on, and/or tool it to the girls so that the girls aren’t impressed either…because once you take their crutch away, they flounder and splash around like you took their life jacket away and they don’t know how to swim and self-sabotage from there.

      So an example would be a rich guy buying my girls a round of shots. I’d tell my girl “Go, let him buy you a shot it’s cool, I’m not jealous. The drunker you get, the hotter I’ll look and the easier it’ll be for me to get in your pants later. ;) Now go, or you’re going to hurt his feelings, you guys are the hottest girls that guy will meet all month lol” He doesn’t even have to overhear any of that, but that guy won’t be fucking my girl because now the thing he’s wielding around as his ace in the hole has no worth to her, and I’ve dropped a bunch of other concepts in there (leading/ordering her, showing non-jealousy and non-judgement, cocky/funny, push/pull, implying he’s shit with women, etc.) to seal the deal. She’ll go drink his free drinks, and then come back to me.

      Another example would be a guy who’s trying to flash his cash to my girls but trying to tool me by also buying ME a drink…I’ll say right to him “wow, that’s awesome…but don’t think I’m going to put out tonight. I give amazing head, it takes more than one drink to get in my pants.” So I’m taking away the value of his crutch (buying another guy a drink to show dominance/wealth/etc.) by twisting it into him hitting on me. Usually with stuff like that they kind of stammer because wtf do you reply to that and they weren’t expecting it at all, but the girls go “OMG lololol” and look at him waiting to see what his reaction is.

      If he decides to play nice and acts friendly from there, then I’ll be cool with him and we can both have some of these girls and wing eachother (this happens a lot of the time, because the guy kind of realizes “o, shit, I wasn’t expecting this guy to be a threat like that, I didn’t realize I walked into the lion’s den, I’m going to back out slowly and hope I don’t get mauled…so their way of going “woah, hey, shit, I’m sorry, don’t eat me” is to genuinely like me and befriend me)…but if he’s still being a dick and trying to tool me with something like “lol you’re a funny guy, girls isn’t this guy funny? What are you drinking, funny-man?” I’ll say something like (this is off the top of my head as I type lol, I improvise a lot of this on the spot just from having a lot of Field Experience) “Too much, quite frankly. You’re a nice dude, buying us all drinks. You must be a billionaire! I was laying in the gutter downstairs drinking a bottle of cheap vodka out of a brown paper bag earlier, you girls might remember passing by me…THIS one kicked me and said “get out of my way, ya bum”, which I think was rather rude. Why are you such a dick to us homeless people? I hate you.” etc.

      Again, there I’m taking away the value of his crutch, and then I’m combining that with making the girls emotionally react to me and keeping the attention on me. Also I didn’t answer his question so he’ll have to either ask it again (chasing my attention) or not ask it and just wing getting me a drink which, if he’s still being a dick, I can tool him on getting me the wrong drink etc. etc.

      I love this kind of stuff because I think it’s fascinating how much of it is sub-communicated and how subtle all the little value shifts can be, but that girls will pick up on them all. And guys will often be completely oblivious to them. I had a real roughneck type buddy with a short fuse out with me as a wing for a while, and we started going to higher-end venues and he would want to punch EVERY dude there, because the guys would be tooling him in that socially savvy subtle way but my buddy wasn’t familiar enough with that style of AMOGing, but he could sense that the guys (and girls, even) were tooling him…he didn’t understand how, but he understood there was a sub-communication of tooling him going on, and he didn’t have the skillset to “fight back” in that style so he would resort to how he was used to handling disrespect: swinging fists lol I had to tell him “dude, we gotta’ teach you how to play this game ’cause you can’t be throwing punches every night at these places.”

      “you think only “this type of girl will get with this type of guy” just lets me know your’e either a) not approaching or b) when you do you’re trying to front like the kind of guy you think the kind of girl would want to get. She will bang you too without all of that stuff if you own who you are and give her the space to do what she wants around the AA’s to get her kicks while she’s young.”

      This. Big-time this. That was the other thing I learned when I started going to these venues a lot, is that you want to own being yourself, even if being yourself is objectively less impressive than the 6-packed rich Aimless Alphas. Because a lot of those guys aren’t being themselves, they’re being what they think the girl will be impressed by, and at the end of the day all the shit girls do (shit-testing, push/pull, playing hard to get, causing drama, etc.) is their way of sniffing out “is the guy in front of me who he seems to be?”

      A friend once ended up at a super high-end private party (celebrities and rich people and such, private house (well, mansion lol) party). He said it was interesting because everyone there had so much money, status, etc. that it didn’t matter anymore and the guys who got the girls were the guys who were interesting/passionate/etc. about stuff (like artists etc.). Because there’s an equilibrium point where everyone there has so much traditional status (money, looks, fame, etc.) that those things lose their value and what becomes high-status is who has passion or drive or a unique style etc.

      And bringing that back to how normal guys in normal venues can apply it: a 6 is probably going to be impressed by money and a 6-pack. Because she doesn’t have that shit and she doesn’t have 20 guys chasing her who have that shit. But an 9+ has 20 guys chasing her who have that shit, guys offering to fly her to Rome for vacation for free, the guys are all jacked up 6-pack juice monkeys in expensive suits, they all have fancy cars, etc. etc. That’s her world. But none of those guys stands out to her, because they’ve all hit equilibrium to her and that stuff doesn’t hold any value anymore. So when a normal average dude comes along, and he doesn’t have any of that stuff BUT he has an incredibly strong sense of self and frame control and Alpha attributes and he has those guys qualifying themselves to him etc., she’ll find him attractive because she’s not looking at the traditional “money and a 6-pack” channels of high-value, she’s looking at these other channels.

      This is something that guys who don’t approach super hot chicks won’t understand though lol It’s a mind-fuck at first.

      “told me how brave I was because no guys can just be themselves around her. Like, it was so novel to her that someone would just treat her like a normal person because she has her ass kissed almost 24/7 from guys wanting to impress or act like what they think a girl like that would respond to.”

      Yep. Like Tyler from RSD says: your sense of entitlement is how hot the girl can be, while you can still act NORMAL around her. lol Again it’s why Field Experience and approaching hot girls is important, so you build that sense of entitlement and can be normal around hot girls.

      Of course on the flip-side of what you’re saying, there’s the other guys who over-compensate in the other direction. Instead of kissing her ass they’ll purposely be over the top assholish to her, in a way that’s try-hard and clearly coming from insecurity. And they can tell right away. They’re just looking for normal, the middle of the pendulum swing.

      “if you ever want to get gay together, hit me up on Grindr bro.”

      I had to delete my account, my Inbox was flooded with messages from Matt and Greg. Also I’m stealing this.

  • Klem
    on June 19, 2013 at 5:56 am
    Original Link

    awesome post!
    could you please elaborate on how you create this frame of “we can fuck while you look for a BF” from the start? do you say it flat out like that or hint at it more subtly?
    honestly that’s the main sticking point in my game, I have almost no problem getting laid by the girls I want now, but I keep entering a BF/GF dynamic, whereas I just want some fuckbuddies, GFs are boring lol. and once the dynamic (or “frame”?) is established, it’s impossible to change it to casual fucking, even if we haven’t have THE talk before

    (hope it’s not too confusing, english is not my first language)

    • YaReally
      on June 20, 2013 at 7:30 am
      Original Link

      “could you please elaborate on how you create this frame of “we can fuck while you look for a BF” from the start? do you say it flat out like that or hint at it more subtly?”

      You can do it either way. I have a bunch of personal routines I use for it, but they all fall along the lines of stuff like (early on, like the first time I meet her, when I have her laughing and attracted): “I’m not boyfriend material, if you’re looking for a husband you shouldn’t waste your time on me”, (txting after a Saturday night): “Were you out flirting with other guys and breaking hearts? lol I don’t care, I’m not the jealous type”, (during cuddle/comfort-talk): “Relationships are too much drama, I think half the people in relationships are just in them because they’re scared to be alone”, etc. etc.

      Just light stuff that gets across that I like my space and I’m not a serious boyfriend and won’t judge her for getting other guys etc. I’ll calibrate to the girl as I go and depending on her personality type I’ll bring out deeper stuff.

      Like if she’s a girl who’s looking to settle down: “I’m not the guy for that, I have all sorts of commitment issues…but you’re an awesome chick and you seem like the type of girl who needs a relationship that brings out her best self. You should meet and date other guys, and just txt me when you need some no-strings attached relief now and then.”

      Or if she mentions there’s a guy she’s into I’ll give her advice on how to land him lol and say stuff like: “I just want everyone to find what they want in life…whether that’s a long-term thing or just fun in the bedroom, long as you find what you’re looking for that’s cool with me and I’m happy for you, even if it means we aren’t together.”

      Then on the flip side there’s the more in-your-face stuff for girls with certain personality types, like saying stuff like “I kind of want to fuck you, but you’re uglier than my girlfriend.” or leaving my GF’s framed picture on my nightstand.

      And for the girls who I know are taken right from the start, sometimes I’ll mention having a GF and being in an open relationship (of course the girl is never in one, she’s actually cheating on her man, but she feels comfortable doing it because I’m technically taken too). Or I’ll use the old-school “good, then you’ll have something to do when I’m not around” stuff.

      If I have to bring out some AMOG stuff because other guys are competing for her attention, I’ll drop stuff like “No, you should go out with that guy instead. He’ll txt you every day to tell you what he had for lunch, buy you flowers and expensive dinners and kiss you on the cheek on the second date and his hands will shake nervously when he tries to take your bra off, it’ll be cute. I would treat you like shit, you’d be like “God, YaReally, why do we always just spend all day fucking, why can’t you take me out to an expensive restaurant instead of giving me all these mind-blowing orgasms?”"

      Blah blah blah I have a ton of this shit lol And it’s all true, it’s based on my own beliefs/personality etc. This isn’t stuff like, I drop one line and it’s done (although that CAN happen depending on the girl and what she’s looking for), most of the time it’s multiple shallow conversations or a couple really deep long ones, usually during cuddling before or after sex, or during long deep txt conversations about life, love, and relationships.

      I like to get this stuff out of the way ASAP, because then I don’t have to worry about anything blowing up in my face. She knew what she was getting into from the start, no surprises, so I don’t end up with much drama.

      Some girls are hesitant but I just use the standard PUA tactic of using her objection before she does, so when I sense she’s not the casual sex type I’ll say stuff like “i might be an asshole, but at least I’m honest lol I’d rather be up-front and let you know I’m not a relationship guy and have you tell me you’re not cool with that and we just be friends, rather than lie and be like “oh baby I love you” just to get in your pants.” Most chicks have had guys do that to them or their friends, so it automatically makes you seem like a Nice Guy despite that objectively most of society would think you were an asshole for wanting casual sex.

      This is also why girls don’t hate me. A lot of Natural players lie their ass off to girls, so when it ends the girl hates them and they end up with a lot of drama. Most of the girls I’ve banged, if you asked them about me they’d have nothing but good things to say about me and, if the circumstances were right (ie – we ran into eachother while horny and isolated or she just broke up or whatever, and if I still wanted to fuck her) we would hook up for a casual bang like it was no big deal.

on June 17, 2013 at 10:55 pm
Original Link

LumpyPUA has created a badass archive of all my posts, organized nice & easy to read with the full threads I respond to, with a Search function for easily finding my writing on whatever subject you’re looking for…all sorts of good shit:

It’s beautiful and I’ll be using it as the link you go to when you click my name in my comments from now on, and massive props to Lumpy for putting it together and updating it as I post more comments in the future.


If you want to link to my archive in your sidebar, go nuts. There’s about 15 jillion pages worth of content there lol It’s the closest thing I’ll ever have to an actual blog, ’cause I don’t want to start an actual blog.

on June 18, 2013 at 7:29 am
Original Link

Yareally, you sound like a stand-up guy, and i love reading your shit because it reinforces all my beliefs and keeps me sharp. Great contributions from you consistently. Keep it up.

  • Georgia Boy
    on June 18, 2013 at 11:02 am
    Original Link

    I appreciate the help he gives as much as the next guy and he’s written stuff directly to me. But I won’t call any guy who would sleep with someone else’s GF/wife stand-up. Yes, I know that a lot of cuckolds are neglecting their end of the relationship deal. But say, you could drag me outside and point me toward a guy in the gutter and tell me “Look GB, that’s an addict who’s about to spend the welfare check you paid him on H, go rob him” and I wouldn’t. Just because someone is a perfect stranger is no excuse to do something bad to him, and no pu$$y just is worth your dignity.

    • YaReally
      on June 18, 2013 at 12:18 pm
      Original Link

      Lol my morals/ethics/values are my own and I believe every guy should decide his own for himself. The problem is that most people let society, religion, peer pressure, a fear of not being accepted, the value of another person, etc decide their code of conduct for them and don’t go out and actually test their limits to see what they really think/feel as an individual.

      If someone else’s lines are different than mine, that’s fine, I can respect them as long as they’ve decided on those lines for themselves.

      Either way tho, whether people approve or not of me as a human being or as a man, the information I report back from the field with is based on the harsh realities of life. Do what you want with the information, I’m just reporting from the front lines. :)

      • Matthew King
        on June 18, 2013 at 7:40 pm
        Original Link

        Yeah. And after all of your fine work upthread, you have to append this sour postscript. It will be just as sour at the end of your life too.

        I know it’s impossible to live without a metaphysic, but dude: invest 1/100th the effort into learning “the best that has been thought and said” as you do into articulating game and you will build yourself a nice little psychic nest egg when your libido stops lending meaning to your one-dimensional life.

        “Pay it forward” and “good karma balance” will not avail you during your hangover years. And “my morals/ethics/values are my own and I believe every guy should decide his own for himself” will become positively suicidal the moment you encounter your first real difficulty. Your bravado in the face of emptiness is the tragedy of game practitioners. Better to simply acknowledge the emptiness than try to pass it off as substance.

        For all the brilliance you have in accurately diagnosing the death of manliness from a practical perspective — for all the cataloging force you bring to its multilayered meta-analysis (for your own gain, which is fine) — you are absolute rainmen when it comes to examining the foundation for the good life. One tiny fraction of your practical and observational abilities applied correctly would yield all the wisdom you’d ever need, if only you didn’t hold the very word “correctly” in contempt. As in: I get to say what’s correct for me, my values are my own.

        Like others, you will have to suffer into this wisdom — a totally avoidable suffering. But unlike others, you have the experience of gaining wisdom of a different kind. Now all you need is figure out the method that brought you to that particular enlightenment and apply it to different subjects.

        As someone on the other side, I too am “just reporting from the front lines.” And my report to you is this: instead of educating yourself in the seminars and the field reports and the books compiled by men who came before you, you are attempting to reinvent game itself. Except this “game” is mortally serious, and you only get one shot to get it right.


        • YaReally
          on June 18, 2013 at 8:33 pm
          Original Link

          “will become positively suicidal the moment you encounter your first real difficulty.

          Oh I’ve been thru a lot more than you would expect. A lot more than most people. Not just with girls but in life in general. The difference is that I focus on the positive and work thru it instead of letting it keep me down.

          “As someone on the other side”

          That’s the thing, is I don’t really think you are. And I don’t think anyone but Greg would really want to BE you, and I don’t think many people here would want to be AROUND you. So your advice is like a fat chick giving diet advice. There’s no part of your personality that I would like to emulate or consider successful in any capacity…and I know you don’t care about that, but there you go. I have so little respect for you as a human being in general, that at best I just kind of pity you, being so “above” us all but clearly needing the validation of attention here when you rarely contribute anything that actually helps anyone.

          And I don’t think you’re someone who’s been successful in life (though it sounds like you might be well off financially) because I’ve met and befriended a lot of guys who ARE successful in life and have crossed to “the other side” and they are way better men than you in general, in every category. Those guys have told me not to listen to advice from people who aren’t at least as successful as I want to be…it’s good advice.

          • YaReally
            on June 20, 2013 at 7:08 am
            Original Link

            “if the amount of posting here is to be the criterion.”

            That’s why I said the criterion was “you rarely contribute anything that actually helps anyone.” Duh lol Matt’s cock in your mouth must’ve made it difficult to see your monitor.

            “I was talking about the other side of a thorough, classical, philosophical self-examination with regard to my place in the world.”

            Ohhh, then ya, I totally agree that you have probably spent a ton of time mentally masturbating. Well done! Next you should try socializing, it’s pretty fun.

            “But, again, what beyond your silly guessing game do you really know about me?”

            I’ve met more “You”s than you can imagine, because you don’t go out and meet people so you don’t understand how many of you are out there. A consistent thread that all the guys like you have in common is that none of you realize how common you are or that everyone doing self-analysis has the same inner realizations you have except that we don’t treat them like a big deal because we have other shit going on, while you sit and stroke your ego’s cock over them because, well, they’re all you really have.

            But please, do continue to tell us how amazing you are lol

    • Ronin
      on June 18, 2013 at 1:13 pm
      Original Link

      @Georgia Boy: Fair points, all.

      But unfortunately, Hypergamy does not care.

      • Georgia Boy
        on June 18, 2013 at 7:45 pm
        Original Link

        Yeah and besides, YR would never get laid if it weren’t for fking other men’s wives. Cue the accusations, I must be a loser who can’t get laid huh.

        • YaReally
          on June 18, 2013 at 8:35 pm
          Original Link

          lol those girls are just convenient. I prefer single girls so I don’t have to stress angry dudes coming after me, but even then a lot of the time with the really hot girls, they have a jealous ex or jealous orbiters who want to come after you anyway, so you’re damned if you do damned if you don’t.

What To Do When You’re A Girl’s Second Choice

Original Link

via Heartiste

on June 14, 2013 at 2:15 pm
Original Link

but… but… but… isn’t it betaomega to use “lol”???????????? i am trying to be alpha with over 10,000 cool points and i heard i shouldn’t use text messaging or write lol or use smiley faces. please teach me how to be a man

on June 14, 2013 at 9:31 pm
Original Link

Second choice” is a state of mind. You have to just pretend it wasn’t ever an issue you were busy, she was busy now you’ve found time.

The idea of being someone’s second choice stems from a scarcity mentality.

Girls and guys go out with other people. This is a fact of life.

The fact you’re a “choice” is your own perception.

I’ve been in this situation and just ignore it.

After you’ve banged them, that becomes something that in the back of my mine is an element that always holds me back from getting any more serious with them unless and until they are literally throwing themselves at me…which she will if you game her right.

  • YaReally
    on June 15, 2013 at 10:34 am
    Original Link

    Truth bombs right here.

Banging Students

Original Link

via Heartiste

on June 14, 2013 at 1:04 pm
Original Link

She’s a fucking 6-7. There are 100 of her at any given bar tonight and 100 different hers out at that same bar tomorrow night. And next weekend. And the weeked after that.

Don’t shit where you eat. Don’t risk your academic reputation for a 6. The only reason you’re even considering it is because you don’t go out so you’re trapped in a scarcity mentality where you have to take the scraps the universe tosses you.

Go the fuck out instead.

Relationship Game: The Day-To-Day Alpha

Original Link

via Heartiste

on June 7, 2013 at 3:31 pm
Original Link

It’s ok to be the little spoon if she cuddle assaults you from behind when youre lying there with your back turned to her, though.

  • feministx
    on June 7, 2013 at 3:39 pm
    Original Link

    I am like a super ninja at all forms of cuddle assault. But it’s true. You have to get out of little spoon position, especially if you are assaulted into it.

    But I have no remedy for plate rape. To the best of my knowledge, you must simply endure that.

    • YaReally
      on June 7, 2013 at 5:46 pm
      Original Link

      “But I have no remedy for plate rape. To the best of my knowledge, you must simply endure that.”

      I stabbed a girl in the hand with a fork (lightly) for attempting that. Don’t fuck with my food. You want more fries, you order some.

on June 7, 2013 at 3:49 pm
Original Link

Ok regarding “Doing things together” here is the one I’v noticed I backslide the most;

Her: “What do you want to do?”

Me: Where getting Taco Bell.

Her: I’m not in the mood for Taco Bell! :( *Cry’s*)

I don’t have a problem not being indecisive but when ever I know what I want they throw this kind of shit at me.

Any suggestions?

  • everybodyhatesscott
    on June 7, 2013 at 4:05 pm
    Original Link

    Any suggestions?

    1. Stop eating at taco bell. Seriously, that shit is disgusting and will make her fat

    2. Instead of “We’re going to taco bell” say “Let’s go, we’re getting food” She’ll pester you to tell her where you are taking her. Don’t tell her.

    3. Re-read 1

    • Hair Slicked Back With Swag So Fresh
      on June 7, 2013 at 4:13 pm
      Original Link

      Word to the wise… Don’t give her Taco Bell if you’re gonna analize her, later. You’ve been warned,

      • driveallnight
        on June 7, 2013 at 5:42 pm
        Original Link

        But if you do give Taco Bell before analizing, you may as well tape it without consent.

        • Canadian Friend
          on June 7, 2013 at 6:41 pm
          Original Link

          If you take her to a restaurant she likes once in a while, won’t she be more likely to be “in the mood” for sex later?

          she might be “grateful” or something

          if not, dump her she is an ingrate b*tch

          • YaReally
            on June 8, 2013 at 1:22 pm
            Original Link

            On a non-LTR note:

            Paul Janka’s free eBook (“how to get pussy in NYC” lol) brings up the point that no one feels “sexy” after dinner. Take a woman to a restaraunt and get an appetizer, entree, desert, and she’s going to feel fat and bloated and lethargic…not exactly a recipe for her wanting to get naked in front of you, especially if its the first time.

  • YaReally
    on June 7, 2013 at 5:39 pm
    Original Link

    “Any suggestions?”

    Go get Taco Bell.

    She’s an adult, she can either suck it up and come to Taco Bell, or she can figure out her own food and cook herself something. She’s not a baby, she won’t die of starvation.

    She’ll probably get miffed and pout the first few times but hold your frame, eventually she’ll realize “okay, when I ask him what he wants to do, he chooses something and does it, and if I’m not on-board he will just LEAVE ME and do it anyway, so I guess I’ll either start making up my mind or go along with what he wants.”

    She’ll respect you more in the longrun, and when she gets her order of tacos she’ll be happy as a clam with it.

    Also like the others said: Don’t suggest Taco Bell. There’ll be plenty of time for her to start eating unhealthy shit and fattening herself up once you’re married and or have kids together and can’t escape…don’t encourage it in advance lol. Pick healthy places to eat, or cook healthy shit together.

on June 7, 2013 at 5:04 pm
Original Link

This is all REALLY solid. Great post/guide, CH. Especially the crying part which a lot of guys don’t understand.

Also I cuddle like crazy. Massive PDAs all over the place. I’ll cuddle with her in public, I don’t care lol. If a girl is out with me she pretty much is never out of my touch whether its holding hands or my hand on the small of her back etc.

I’ll even be the little spoon (some girls just love wrapping their arms around a man’s body, I’ve found that usually these are the girls that like beefier hairy men, it’s like a comforting teddy bear for them lol).

But I can get away with all this stuff because I do it from a place of “I don’t care if you don’t like PDAs. I do, and it’s a compliment because I wouldn’t be out with you if I didn’t want to put my arms around you, so you can get with the program and learn to love being lucky enough to experience my PDAs or you can find another guy.” VS a frame of “omg I’ve never touched a girl before please touch me back please don’t leave meeeee!!!!” Lol

  • Simon Corso
    on June 7, 2013 at 5:45 pm
    Original Link

    I’m towards the other end of the spectrum . Public touching is rare but comes from a place of confidence and reassurance. It’s the scarcity of my touch that makes it precious to her.

    When I go out with my main, her hand rarely leaves me ( especially in the presence of other unattached women) it’s like she’s marking me. I usually act as if I don’t even notice it. By the time we get home all I have to do is glide my fingertips down the length of her arm raising trail of goosebumps in it’s wake.

    My girls like to be teased.
    And I prefer to leave them wondering whether I want them or not .

    • YaReally
      on June 7, 2013 at 6:02 pm
      Original Link

      Totally get it, and do whatever works for you.

      On my end my girls view it as I’m a lion claiming my possessions. She knows I can get other girls around us, but she revels in the fact that I put my arms around her and let everyone know she belongs to me. She feels special because she knows other girls in the room don’t get that from me.

      It also makes it extremely effective when I take that away if she misbehaves. If she gets out of line, all I have to do is remove that attention and she knows “o shit, wait, I didn’t mean it!!” before I decide some other girl gets that attention.

      Again, whatever works for you and is congruent to your personality…I’m just presenting the opposite side of things because I break a lot of rules that game warns guys not to break.

      At the end of the day, both you and I are doing what we do decisively, which is what really counts:

Bringing Balance To The Masculine Force

Original Link

via Heartiste

on June 6, 2013 at 2:54 pm
Original Link

To ask or even think the question gives the permanent answer. Nothing against the man, but this Sidewinder guy has always seemed the most exemplary beta male imaginable. He’s been consistent from his first post to this letter: insufficiently *relaxed* for alpha.

You make a woman crazy with love and lust and she’ll eat red skittles out of your asshole Sidewinder and consider it a feast. And that includes all the women that you might automatically and very wrongly assume are too “classy” to go into that kind of heat.

What men really want, and almost never achieve, is true erotic command over a woman. If you haven’t rendered her mind a wet cunt, then she may like you fine, but she’ll never really get down.

Most men simply don’t love pleasure enough to subject their women. They are rightfully afraid of the chaos incurred thereby.–

  • Sidewinder
    on June 6, 2013 at 3:26 pm
    Original Link

    Great visuals. Maybe you don’t understand my question. I’m assuming you’ve already seduced the girl. Banged her over 100 times, in all three inputs. She may have even moved in. But she has friends, family, and a life, and therefore possesses expectations which require more than butthole skittles on her birthday. But its more than just special occasions: if you’re in a LTR, you have to be supportive. That doesn’t mean you have to act like a beta kiss ass, but you have to engage with the chick on a person to person level, listen to wtf she’s talking about, offer positive suggestions. What I want to know is, how do you do these beta things in an alpha way? As a default, I assume a “coach”-like position in the conversation with her, where I’m still framing her as the student/mentee, but dropping thoughtful compliments and advice from a position of authority.

    • Matthew King
      on June 6, 2013 at 4:58 pm
      Original Link

      The disconnect here is in the classification of certain activities as inherently “alpha” or “beta” (or “omega”).

      Alpha and beta are attitudes, not actions. Your actions are either motivated by supplication or dominance or neutrality (or some beta-trending admixture). Aloofness is a pick-up trick, not a way of life — one cannot achieve dominance through neutrality.

      In that regard, there is a world of difference between, “What movie would you like to see?” and “You pick the movie.” N/a was saying you can (must) maintain your superior posture even as you are

      Constant aloof game will eventually lead to her just thinking you are a negative, critical dick.

      You’re slipping. This habit dies so hard.

      When you are leading a woman, you are helping her be feminine in a way no beta male can. When you speak truth, you are not ipso facto “a negative, critical dick.” This is the fruit of the sinister feminist propaganda we of this generation received with our mother’s milk.

      Women are inclined to live in a world of “pretty lies,” a soft comfortable environment of nicey-nicey deception. Men are designed to live in the world of the real: where life is “solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short. ” The art of male-female compatibility is where 1) the man is good at translating the truth into terms safe for his woman’s consumption, and 2) the woman places her whole faith in her man’s ability to interpret the truth.

      Sometimes this requires being blunt and harsh, sometimes it requires patience and tutelage, sometimes it requires abject female deference — depending on the urgency of the circumstances. E.g.:

      Slap. “Stop crying, you’re giving away our position, now go get me the box of ammo in the basement right fucking now.”

      “Let’s go over this one more time. You’re just cute enough to pull off being a perpetual ditz.”

      “I understand what you’re saying, but we are going to do it my way.”

      This attitude is only bad when you are giving attitude for its own sake and you are inherently an untrustworthy leader. But even then it’s better to fake decisiveness than moping and meandering.

      “My man, right or wrong” is the deepest primal desire throbbing the blood through every woman’s uterine artery. You have to be catastrophically wrong to screw this up, which many otherwise natural leaders can be. Or, you have to have no leadership in you at all, which most sackless untestosteroned manboobs have been conditioned by our culture to be.


      • YaReally
        on June 6, 2013 at 8:02 pm
        Original Link

        “Alpha and beta are attitudes, not actions”

        “When you are leading a woman, you are helping her be feminine in a way no beta male can. When you speak truth, you are not ipso facto “a negative, critical dick.””

        “Sometimes this requires being blunt and harsh, sometimes it requires patience and tutelage, sometimes it requires abject female deference — depending on the urgency of the circumstances.”

        I agree with your comment 100%. Don’t let that go to your head.

        My favorite recommendation for reading material on this concept is actually manhood101′s free eBook:

        There’s some stuff in there about masculinity, and bringing order to your world and the world of those around you, and how/why/when to use various forms of discipline, reward, and punishment for the ultimate benefit of the person you’re using it on even if in the immediate it feels “dickish” and causes “pain”.

        I found it an interesting read, and it covers an area that PUA doesn’t really focus (we cover how to punish but generally not why to punish beyond getting pussy). The book sort of plays into the overarching concept of “leave them better than you found them” and is a part of why the women I’m with grow by being with me. I give them what they need, whether it’s love, compassion, punishment, discipline, etc., to ultimately bring order to their chaotic world.

        There’s a clip in The Great Happiness Space (too much hassle to find the link, I’m on my phone) where one of the top guys mentions that he gives the girls what they need, and that sometimes they need scolding for being dumb in their personal life and he provides that the way a father or older brother would, as well as providing good emotions.

        Ultimately women WANT a man who makes them feel a range of emotions. That’s why in Twilight Bella and Edward don’t just go “want to go out?” “sure.” and get along swimmingly and have no obstacles to their happy ending right when they first meet lol

on June 6, 2013 at 3:04 pm
Original Link

I think this concept has been the most difficult to grasp since learning game. As someone who was lacking the attraction segment, it was always easy for me to default and use the comfort/rapport component. In fact, the times I did hook girls in, the comfort/rapport was very effective and took it to the next level.

And it’s all a process.

1) use comfort as a default
2) get burned by this
3) figure out why (
4) use attraction as a default
5) get burned by this
6) figure out why

And the thing is, you have to go through this process. Feel the pain of a girl leaving you for being beta and also feel the pain of a couple girls leaving you for being too alpha.

During my 30 day challenge, I had a ton of great approaches and interactions but I got blown out for not realizing when I needed to switch gears and properly go into the comfort stage.

The same thing has happened over the course of a couple mini-relationships. It’s like I’m on auto-pilot doing these alpha asshole behaviors even though the comfort/rapport stuff I did in the past was more powerful.

It’s all good though, no sour grapes. I know where I need to take it now and it’s to better integrate the successful components of my game that was used in the past.

Remember, don’t throw out the baby with the bathwater.

Baby = using comfort

Bathwater = having a beta mindset


  • the latent sadist
    on June 6, 2013 at 7:44 pm
    Original Link

    SO with you here. I just banged this very sexy 19 yr old on friday…i suppose my desire to see her again is somewhat motivated by a lack of abundance. Still, my goal has been to get the second bang…and solidify things…getting her hooked.

    shes been playing around since the hookup, i told her to come by and she said sghe couldnt without any counter offer. Not being a fool, i wrote her off entirely and didnt reply. Then she sent me some random bullshit 3 hrs later around midnight

    “hey you know XXXX! this is such a small world lol” (i dont know this person at all)

    my bs meter was through the roof. But i indulged her at 1pm the next day.

    (Me) “Who?”

    (Her) Woahh i dont know how that got sent to you. that was meant for someone else

    (Me) wow. just wow.

    (Her) my bad

    (Me) hahahhhhhahaha

    My gut was telling me she felt insecure or something. Im not the most demonstrative guy with a girl…especially at first. I gamed her very well, and very quickly….so i wonder if my alpha vibe was so strong that shes looking for signs of commitment…or provision or whatever…feeling insecure.

    But i also have had situations where ive rationalized things this way, offered the comfort, and completely turned the girl off.

    Im beggining to think that if i even start to wonder which it is, im losing the frame. So ive decided to go blank for at least a week and see how she takes it.

    Its a hard line to toe im determined to figure it out.

    • YaReally
      on June 6, 2013 at 8:24 pm
      Original Link

      She has Buyer’s Remorse. She thinks you think she’s a slut who will come over to suck your dick from now on so she’s going to make it difficult to fuck her again (“not without a counter-offer”) even tho she still WANTS to fuck you again (txting you at midnight). She’s basically trapped by her own ASD and can’t escape it herself, she dug a hole that she needs you to pull her out of.

      Ideally you want to avoid Buyer’s Remorse ahead of time by building more comfort/rapport but sometimes that’s not possible and the sex happens before you can get to or think to build comfort. I usually do this via my big long deep txting convos prior to hooking up because it eliminates hassles down the road.

      If that fails you can prevent it by building comfort/rapport immediately after sex. This is where you cuddle and get to know her hopes and dreams and what her BFFs name is and about her dorky little brother etc etc. Going for food together after helps too. Telling her to txt you when she gets home so you know she made it safe, then turning that txt into a comfort conversation etc. Compare all that stuff to telling her “well I’ll call you a cab.” 2 minutes after blowing your load and telling her “later.” as she leaves and then not txting her for a week…which girl will end up regretting the night and be hard to her again? I’ll do this stuff if things went to sex too fast (one night stands, being forced to escalate fast due to logistics/cockblocks, maybe she’s not much of a txter and I can’t rope her into my comfort stuff in txt convo, etc).

      The last and worst time to have to do it is where you are now, which is that she already has Buyer’s Remorse and now you have to diffuse it. Sometimes it’s easy and letting her know you had fun and don’t think she’s easy and that you don’t think she does that with every guy but you two just have intense chemistry and it’s so crazy how it just happened blah blah, can diffuse it in one conversation and you can bone again. Other times its a bitch and it can take you weeks or months to get rid of it, or you can’t get rid of it at ALL depending on how she views you and her personal baggage/history.

      “My gut was telling me she felt insecure or something. Im not the most demonstrative guy with a girl…especially at first. I gamed her very well, and very quickly….so i wonder if my alpha vibe was so strong that shes looking for signs of commitment…or provision or whatever…feeling insecure.”

      Ya, so going by my guide above you weren’t able/willing to build much comfort (her txts were shitty for having a deep conversation because she’s 19 and 19yo’s are retarded lol, and the bang happened pretty quick, AND you don’t demonstrate boyfriendy stuff with girls right away), so she’s feeling like you think she’s an easy lay and only want her for sex.

      “But i also have had situations where ive rationalized things this way, offered the comfort, and completely turned the girl off.”

      The calibration to each girl will come in time as you hook up with more girls and deal with more varieties of personality. The key is to not let one girl change your general strategy for the next. A poker hand with 95% odds is still the optimal move even if you catch that 5% 3 times in a row. That doesn’t mean be inflexible, it means study the girl and say “I know I need parts A B and C to get to this goal of casual fuckbuddy…but this girl makes part A difficult, so how can I adjust to her personality to still accomplish A even if its not at the same point in the seduction as with the last girl or even if I don’t have to create as strong an A or if I have to create A twice as strong for this girl”. That’s calibration.

      • the latent sadist
        on June 6, 2013 at 9:55 pm
        Original Link

        we cuddled after. she was into it i could tell….pretty affectionate. But i didnt say much. So i was hesitant to go overboard by trying o build it over text. i just went for the second meet.

        i can get her on the phone. she answers. not sure if its the best move to call her up and just vibe a bit. but id be fine with that as long as it wouldnt blow the apha allure.

        • YaReally
          on June 6, 2013 at 10:13 pm
          Original Link

          “we cuddled after. she was into it i could tell….pretty affectionate. But i didnt say much.”

          Ya, this kind of thing causes Buyer’s Remorse. If she wasn’t I to it or affectionate and you were like that, that’s fine, you both know its a casual fuck. You don’t want to match her level of affection cause that’ll spiral you into a relationship fast but it helps to show a bit of affection back.

          What I do is try to frame it like in that MOMENT, when I’m WITH her, she’s the only girl in the world. So like I turn my phone off and I build comfort and do lots of cuddling and little kisses here and there etc. but as we talk I let loose my thoughts on relationships and monogamy etc where I let her know that I’m a fun time not a long time and that I don’t think too far ahead and like to just live in the moment and see where things go but that I think we have a lot of chemistry and she’s fun to shoot the shit with and I haven’t had to make up a fake business meeting to kick her out for so clearly I can stand her, a little bit, I SUPPOSE (this part said in an “I won’t admit that you’re winning me over” tone of voice, they love it).

          Like the idea is that they get the affection and reassurance that I don’t think they’re a slut that they need from me…but it’s on my terms and couched in my frame of “I love you but I love all women and I like spending time with you but try not to fall in love with me…even tho that’s impossible because you’re already in love with me and want to have 10,000 of my babies.”

          If you can get her on the phone, get her on the phone lol call her in the evening like 10pm when she’s in bed and there’s no distractions and you can really connect.

          Alpha allure is great but you have to calibrate to what the girl is feeding you. Girls will give you their “blueprint” on how to seduce them…whether its “I can’t leave for food with you, my friends will freak out!” (which means befriend the friends or make her feel okay about ditching them or put her friends in a cab etc), or playing hard-to-get after banging (which means “I don’t feel good about what happened and I need you to fix that”).

          A lot of guys don’t learn to read the girl and they act kind of aspergy, not being able to tweak their game to the situation…but that’s the Artist part of Pick-Up Artist. :)

          • YaReally
            on June 7, 2013 at 12:27 am
            Original Link

            “i hit her up on the phone yesterday and she was with a friend”

            Of course she was. If she wasn’t with a friend she’d be at work or school or on a bus or any number of other interruptions.

            This is why I said to call her at night when she’s in bed and there aren’t any distractions.

            “said to text her which i didn’t”

            You’re running aloof game on a girl who needs comfort. You’re not calibrating to her. You have already had your penis inside her, this isn’t the same as trying to initially pick her up. The dynamics changed once she fucked you and you have to adapt if you want to fuck her again.

            And if you say you don’t want to fuck her again, that’s bullshit ego protection hamster rationalization because you wrote:

            “very sexy 19 yr old on friday…i suppose my desire to see her again is somewhat motivated by a lack of abundance. Still, my goal has been to get the second bang…and solidify things…getting her hooked.”

            If you want her, calibrate your game. If you don’t want her, you’re full of shit and just saying that because you don’t know how to get her back for round 2 yet.

            She couldn’t talk on the phone so she told you to txt her. And she replied to your smoking txt. That’s her wanting to keep in touch and wanting you to solve this puzzle and assuage her Buyer’s Remorse so she can fuck you again.

            Call at night, build comfort, ease up on the aloofness.

            “eh. sounds like a loss.”

            No, you just half-assed this and your ego is pressing the eject button because it doesn’t want to admit that you fucked up and couldn’t adapt and don’t know how to get this “very sexy 19 yr old” back for more.

            You can bail, after half-assing this, and pretend you Next’ed her (you didn’t). Or you can look at this as an opportunity to practice your game and learn to calibrate and stick your dick in her again.

            If you don’t learn to understand and prevent and/or fix Buyer’s Remorse, you will run into it over and over, with hotter girls that you’ll legitimately regret losing. You can also end up with the girl regretting the night so much that she decides it was rape because you didn’t make her feel good about fucking you, and that’s a whole ‘nother can of worms lol

            This is an ENTIRELY salvageable and common situation. It is 100% possible to fuck her again. I would get this chick back with my eyes closed in under a week. You just have to start being an Artist and adapt to what she’s giving you. Seduction involves two people, not one. Switch your tactics up and learn from this. Round out your skillset. Adapt.

          • YaReally
            on June 7, 2013 at 8:00 am
            Original Link

            “do you ever say anything besides cool and alright?”

            This is her saying “please have an actual conversation with me and build some comfort, you’re touching me which is nice but I need some mental attention, ask me something about myself or respond to something I say more in-depth than “cool…” so I can feel like you’re actually interested in me as a human being”

            Calling her isn’t “building comfort/rapport”. Calling her and actually talking to her for a couple hours, saying more than cool and alright, and getting to know her and who she is as a person, is building comfort/rapport.

            It’s like you’re looking at “the act of reaching out” (trying to call or letting her cuddle for a bit) as comfort-building, but it’s the act of actually connecting with her for a couple hours in-depth that’s comfort-building.

            Radio silence is, again, you being aloof with a girl who needs comfort. She might eventually just get horny and want to bang you, but you’re relying on luck and fool’s mate over solid game.

            Good luck with your situ, I’m not gonna type out the same advice 3+ times lol

on June 6, 2013 at 3:26 pm
Original Link

Its possible to be alpha all the time if you can handle it. But even as alpha you can give a girl a nice gift. Like my ex who bought me a piano- we picked it out in a store but he put the purchase order in online. He had me blow him while he filled out the order on a tablet. See, you can spend thousands of dollars even while still being alpha.

  • Greg Eliot
    on June 6, 2013 at 6:00 pm
    Original Link

    Like my ex who bought me a piano- we picked it out in a store but he put the purchase order in online. He had me blow him while he filled out the order on a tablet.

    Her idea of romance was roses on a piano…

    His was tulips on an organ.

    • YaReally
      on June 6, 2013 at 10:18 pm
      Original Link

      I lol’ed.

on June 6, 2013 at 3:48 pm
Original Link

I guess I’m challenging your premise that these day to day comfort-building and relationship-nurturing things have to necessarily be done in a beta, white-knighting way.

[CH: That's not my premise.]

For example, let’s say you’re getting her a gift. You can present it to her with terrible posture, failing to make eye contact, and then ask her for some needy reassurance “I hope you like it…”

But I can also think of a number of ways that you could present a gift to a girl in a confident, seductive, or cocky way, with amused mastery.

[There's the way the gift is presented, and there's the frequency of gift giving. Both are liable to besmirch a man with the beta stink if not properly calibrated.]

  • YaReally
    on June 6, 2013 at 7:40 pm
    Original Link

    “It doesn’t matter.”:

on June 7, 2013 at 7:56 am
Original Link

Hello fellow Chateauites.

My ex is getting married. This girl was my first love, my first longer realtionship(it held for about 3 years), a goddamn 9/10…and she had a very sweet and bubbly personality, the fucker;-)

She was six years younger than me… it was perfect – we could have had such beautiful kids together. Anyway, over the course of our relationship I completely betastized, and of course she wouldn’t have any of it – it is amazing and sort of baffling to me how accurately the breakdowns on this site match my own experiences with this girl. A year ago she and her mother(!) let out feelers and sort of let me know that I could marry her – if I went for it. At the time I didn’t feel in control of my own life. I really felt that under no circumstances would I be able to go back to this girl without having fixed myself first. So I took a decision and put myself first, which was probably wise, seeing as she’s now sunk the hooks into anuvver guy.

I even feel a bit sorry for the dude marrying her, because she’s most def going to be a fucking handful for him. I gave her her first orgasms and to tell the truth I’m just pretty goddamn confident that she won’t ever get fucked as good and proper as she did with me. However, I have a massive case of oneitis – it’s terrible. I’m fucking – and have been fucking – other girls, but nothing quite compares…I have to game myself out of this situation!

So, I want to give a shout-out to all the brothers on this site who made me see male-female dynamics in clear, unembellished light, particularly;
and others I have forgotten.


  • YaReally
    on June 7, 2013 at 8:19 am
    Original Link

    “I really felt that under no circumstances would I be able to go back to this girl without having fixed myself first.”

    It probably won’t feel like it right now while you think about her and this other guy getting married and everything, but down the road this will end up being the most important decision you’ve made in your life.

    I can tell you exactly how your life would’ve gone if you went back to her without fixing your shit, and it ain’t pretty.

    It takes a while to replace a girl that had that much impact on you, especially if you were beta when you knew her, because everything she did was perfect to you…and now that you aren’t with her, day to day, with red pill knowledge of how women work, she will remain perfect in your memory. The girl you meet tomorrow, you’ll see every little flaw and every spin of her hamster and judge her…but the memory of your perfect girl? She’ll remain flawless and no girl will compare to her.

    Two options to try that might help:

    1) take a really good hard look at your one iris girl and your relationship and think about her flaws and really take them to heart. Essentially tear down the perfect memory you have of her. Stalk her pics and watch her as she starts to let herself go physically with her new guy. Think about how she molded you into what she “wanted” and then tossed you aside like you were nothing to her not because you did anything wrong but simply because she didn’t give a shit. Remember how breaking up felt and not how lame you were but how cutthroat she was.

    2) learn to appreciate other girls. None of your casual hookups will compare to your memory of your first main girl because you’re going to see all their flaws and compare them and girls just aren’t perfect the way they could be when you were less knowledgable. Your oneitis was as flawed as these other girls, you just couldn’t see it at the time and aren’t with her enough to see it now. So learn to find the good in girls you’re with now…every girl has some good qualities and some bad ones but we tend to gloss over the good ones because we’re focused on the bad ones to protect ourselves from wasting our time or getting hurt etc. Is any girl you meet going to seem as perfect as your oneitis did? Probably not, because you’re viewing the world more realistically now…but a lot of girls you meet can be pretty awesome in a few categories even if they’re not great or lacking in other categories.

    In a way it would almost have been better for you to go back to your oneitis, so you could see how flawed she really is. A memory will be perfect forever.

    Good luck! We’ve all been there. You made the right decision for yourself, ultimately. That will be clear way down the road.

    • YaReally
      on June 7, 2013 at 8:37 am
      Original Link

      Also 3) hit on hotter girls and screen harder for qualities you want in a girl. You’re not going to replace your perfect girl if you bang 100 average 6-8s who drink and smoke and have a kid and sleep on a mattress on the floor of their parents’ basement and have a negative outlook on life and are always scraping for money, etc. But if you meet and screen for a handful of legit 9s and 10s who are social and outgoing, don’t drink or smoke, have her own place and social lives and careers/money, have a positive bubbly upbeat caring attitude, and generally have their shit together, etc. you’ll start finding girls that compare to your ex. Then you’ll be with one of these high-quality girls and bump into your ex on the street, grab lunch to catch up, and you’ll wonder how you ever had oneitis for her and be thankful you didn’t go back to her.

      So look at this as an opportunity to step up the quality of girls you game.

Original Link

via Heartiste

on June 6, 2013 at 10:41 am
Original Link

If you think this is bad/arousing then you should see what they do with dogs…

  • YaReally
    on June 6, 2013 at 2:28 pm
    Original Link

    I knew a girl once…

on June 6, 2013 at 11:58 am
Original Link

So I wanted to fuck with online dating for shits and giggles and my profile is this:

I have a 6 pack so I can lift my shirt up in the middle of my local farmers market and you can rub your hands all over my stomach. And I love to travel, listen to music and look at art. Wow we must be a match! My friends call me adventurous too, I leave the house everyday, and who would want drama and bullsh*tin their lives, not me. I only date women who can talk about Derrida, Foucault, Marx, and Bataille because intelligence is the best! I’m very passionate about voodoo I need a woman with morals in her life.

Deal breakers: If you’re sane, have a job, your BMI is right, and you actually will send me your number and meet up.
If you’re here just to give blow jobs move on!

Can I make this more intriguing?

  • YaReally
    on June 6, 2013 at 2:31 pm
    Original Link

    This is awesome. Srs.

Sniveling Beta Or Scheming Alpha?

Original Link

via Heartiste

on June 5, 2013 at 11:34 am
Original Link

wtf is this. Is it April Fools?

on June 5, 2013 at 11:36 am
Original Link

Seems more like “surprise I have a penis!” kind of sneaky than alpha cad sneaky.

Too much self-deprecation and and puts her on a pedestal. “You’re awesome, I suck, I don’t deserve you, and I can’t see why my friends even tolerate me.”

  • Matthew King
    on June 5, 2013 at 2:37 pm
    Original Link

    CONTRARIAN CORNER by Matthew Occam King

    Maybe she’s a distant acquaintance, like half the people who sign your yearbook, and he had nothing to say but felt obliged to compose something quasi-meaningful but ends up as dopey, insincere filler. Like 75% of all yearbook writing. Don’t believe me? Dig it out of the box and read what you got in yours.

    What a long, strange trip it’s been! Don’t ever change! Keep in touch! Have a great summer! Good luck in college! Stay cool! It’s been great knowing you/wish I got to know you better! It was the best of times, it was the worst of times! I’ll never forget you! You’re so sweet!

    [cue Vitamin C]


    P.S. “Surprise I have a penis!” = hilarity

    [CH: High schoolers don't normally ask girls they know are seeing other men out on lunch dates in Yearbook notes.]

    • Matthew King
      on June 6, 2013 at 8:55 am
      Original Link

      [CH: High schoolers don't normally ask girls they know are seeing other men out on lunch dates in Yearbook notes.]

      Neither do they “normally” order pizza with double cheese from Domino’s on a Tuesday after swim practice. Each opportunity has something unique about its circumstances.

      Couldn’t it be argued that asking a fellow’s girlfriend out on a date in a written place of permanence like a yearbook is an act of alpha brazenness? Especially when said fellow “will be gone” for the summer?

      Yes, it could be argued. Many facets of this superficial snippet of evidence can be argued. All I’m saying.


      • YaReally
        on June 6, 2013 at 12:42 pm
        Original Link

        “Couldn’t it be argued that asking a fellow’s girlfriend out on a date in a written place of permanence like a yearbook is an act of alpha brazenness?”

        Not the way it’s done here.

        Again, you are simply in over your head on these discussions. You don’t have the practical real-world experience to understand what we’re all telling you.

        The reason we don’t waste effort on “maybe he barely knew her” is because we know the things he wrote arent something people say to someone they barely know, because we’ve interacted with other people enough to know instantly that we can rule that out, the same way we rule out the theory that maybe she was made of green cheese and Obama was riding a unicorn and that determined the meaning behind his writing.

        I know you think you’re making a big point, like “hey I’m showing you guys things you hadn’t considered” but you are simply displaying your lack of practical experience. It’s the equivalent of a child waving at NASA scientists saying “but guys you have to consider that maybe gravity won’t work tomorrow!!! Who can say if it will!?? You should stop building that shuttle to refute my silly notion!!!”

        You are essentially making the efficient inefficient with comments like this. If you had some experience, you would understand, as we do, why his note wasn’t alpha. The fact that you’re confused why no one will address gravity not working just enhances the very clear conclusion that you don’t have much social experience.

        You are out of your league here. That’s not a personal insult, it’s a rational observation.

        • YaReally
          on June 6, 2013 at 1:57 pm
          Original Link

          “Couldn’t it be argued that asking a fellow’s girlfriend out on a date in a written place of permanence like a yearbook is an act of alpha brazenness?”

          Another way of looking at this is you’re basically saying couldn’t it be argued that the air pushes us downward, that’s why we fall, it’s not gravity it’s that air molecules push things down.

          We’ve already done the research and written up the conclusions on gravity and it’s there for you to study. If you choose NOT to study it, and actively/willingly ignore it and write it off as nonsense to you, that’s fine, you can do what you like, but guys who have studied and thoroughly understand the science behind gravity will never cut you slack for your ignorant guesswork, and it’s silly for you to expect us to, just as it would be silly of me to expect the scientific community to take seriously my air-pushing theory.

          You are willfully ignorant of what we’re discussing, and seem to pride yourself on that, then get miffed when no one with experience takes you seriously despite your grand gesturing and bullying. It’s silly and makes me embarrassed for you.

          I’ll 100% support anything you write that actually gels with reality and field experience.

on June 5, 2013 at 12:00 pm
Original Link

Do any of you read the news? Young “Barry” is Barack Obama. I think things turned out ok for him.

on June 5, 2013 at 1:32 pm
Original Link

I bet young “Barry” will grow up to marry a bitchy controlling woman.

  • corvinus
    on June 5, 2013 at 1:42 pm
    Original Link

    I see what you did there.

    • kubla
      on June 5, 2013 at 1:46 pm
      Original Link

      The type of broad who will nag you about what you should or shouldn’t eat. Crap like that. The type f broad who tell everyone you smell bad in the morning.

      • Amanjaw Marcuntte
        on June 5, 2013 at 2:25 pm
        Original Link

        The type who sometimes even forgets that you exist.

        • Hair Slicked Back With Swag So Fresh
          on June 5, 2013 at 3:12 pm
          Original Link

          Haha, a Freudian slip betraying the First Lady’s desire to be dicked down by a real man. Caught on camera, no less.

          Barry better strengthen his marital bonds before Michelle decides to elope with an alpha interloper… that is, if she hasn’t done so, already.

          • YaReally
            on June 5, 2013 at 3:18 pm
            Original Link

            Guys, guys, we can’t infer anything from photos or videos remember! I’ve seen pics of them kissing so obviously this means nothing!!

on June 6, 2013 at 7:53 am
Original Link

Men on Strike: Why Men Are Boycotting Marriage, Fatherhood, and the American Dream – and Why It Matters by Dr Helen from PJMedia.

I bought a kindle version and my suggestion to those who want to help change the culture in a man friendly direction while barely lifting a finger should also buy this book. The kindle version is only $9, and if this book was sent to the top of the charts on Amazon or on various best selling booklists it would send a massive wake-up call to the culture.

  • YaReally
    on June 6, 2013 at 11:03 am
    Original Link

    Per-ordered on principle. This will be an important book one day.

  • Holden Caulfield
    on June 6, 2013 at 11:11 am
    Original Link

    I’m assuming its not a bunch of feminist propaganda urging men to “man up” or some other equally irritating bullshit? If so, give it the Fahrenheit 451 treatment…

    • YaReally
      on June 6, 2013 at 2:01 pm
      Original Link

      It’s the reverse. It’s basically every men’s rights red pill argument regarding marriage and why we say “fuck you” to the “man up” tards, in a nice coherent red pill dispensing read.

      The Manosphere should be promoting the FUCK out of this book in hopes that it reaches all the lost men out there and helps explain why the Manosphere exists and why we need it.

Big Mistake

Original Link

via Heartiste

on June 3, 2013 at 10:58 am
Original Link

Oh…my….god. That makes me want to utterly vomit. How much committment you think there is in a marriage where the fat friend presides over the ceremony? Utterly depressing.

  • Heywood Jablome
    on June 3, 2013 at 11:14 am
    Original Link

    Bridezilla wanted a wedding, not a husband.

    • The Man Who Was . . .
      on June 3, 2013 at 3:09 pm
      Original Link

      I knew a guy who was fucking the bride (he wasn’t the groom) and got invited to the wedding. She waved to him on her way up the aisle.

      “I’ve seen things . . .”

      [CH: I have a similar story, except the bride had stopped fucking the guy by the day of her wedding. Thank heavens for small blessings, I guess... Nevertheless, for those of us in the know, it was a night of nonstop hilarity watching their eyeplay and lustful rapprochement coordinated under the blank stare of the groom's oblivious lumpentude. When I told the girl I was with, she rolled her eyes and pleaded with me not to bring it up again. Once the marrying machinery is in motion, the bride's girl friends will close rank and make sure all peccadillos are swept under the rug so that the show can go on without a hitch.]

      • YaReally
        on June 3, 2013 at 7:29 pm
        Original Link

        I was fucking an engaged chick for almost a year and was going to make her wear her wedding dress over to my place to fuck her in it before the wedding (“well you know I’m never going to get married, so this is my one chance to fuck a girl in a wedding dress” lol). She grew a guilty conscience in the last month before the wedding though, and we ended things. I haven’t heard from her since, and hope they’re happily married and he suddenly learned how to fuck her proper, but I doubt it.

        Her BFF knew about us, but BFFs will keep their secrets, since they’re doing the same shit themselves.

        • HR Lincoln
          on June 5, 2013 at 9:18 am
          Original Link

          BFF’s keep secrets?
          Not my experience at all. When it comes to infidelities, most women HAVE to tell someone. They are incapable of bottling it up.

          Men, on the other hand, are more capable of keeping their mouths shut.

          Trust me, that woman you’re screwing on the sly IS going to tell a friend or a sister about it. Every. Time.

          • YaReally
            on June 5, 2013 at 10:26 am
            Original Link

            Not sure what you’re talking about.

            The woman you’re banging will either tell her BFF or her BFF will be there when you guys hook up and she’ll know all about it…BUT the BFF will keep her friend’s secret. Usually because your girl has dirt on BFF as well and they have an unspoken understanding that “we’re going to go cheat on our boyfriends, but it’s okay with THIS friend because neither of us will tell on eachother”.

            Around every other friend, she’ll be a perfect angel and pretend not to know you at the bar, but it’s that one close BFF that will know and will come to your place and fuck your roommate while her friend fucks you.

            I think “most women HAVE to tell someone. They are incapable of bottling it up.” is WHY they always have that one BFF…they need to tell *SOMEONE*, so they have one friend that they can trust with all their dirty secrets and who can trust them with theirs so they can both tell someone, but it’s someone safe.

            Of course if they have a falling out there’s a chance the BFF will spill the beans, but even then I’ve found that they still tend to take the secrets to the grave because they both have enough dirt on eachother to fuck eachother over if it came down to a fight where they were bringing the heavy artilery out.

Greg Eliot
on June 3, 2013 at 11:04 am
Original Link

(Speaking of, you can trace the accelerating decline of America to the point in cultural history when the bachelorette party surpassed the bachelor party in significance.)

And downright licentious raunch as well.

  • YaReally
    on June 3, 2013 at 11:18 am
    Original Link

    It’s bachelorette party season at the bars right now and I love it. Every night there are 1-5 bachelorette parties in one bar lol

    • Greg Eliot
      on June 3, 2013 at 11:35 am
      Original Link

      The old expression “fat rat in a cheese factory” comes to mind. ;-)

      • YaReally
        on June 3, 2013 at 11:44 am
        Original Link

        I joke about it but in reality swiping a girl in a bachelorette party at the bar off into the night for a same night lay is a lot harder than the stereotype would have people believe it theoretically is.

        Banging the bachelorette party girls at the actual wedding? Easy. But at the bar they are determined to all go home together in their party limo and their ASD in general is thru the roof because they’re with an entire group of non-close friends who will judge them for behavior that they might’ve gotten away with had they been out solo or with just their non-judgemental BFF.

        That said, they are EXCELLENT social proof for picking up the rest of the girls in the bar who see you dominating an entire group of giggly glowing-penis-necklace horny girls. You just have to avoid the “you should buy her a shot!!” and “suck for a buck candy necklace” traps lol

        • Greg Eliot
          on June 3, 2013 at 11:56 am
          Original Link

          ” glowing-penis-necklace ”

          “suck for a buck candy necklace”

          I just wasn’t made for these times… sigh.

          • YaReally
            on June 3, 2013 at 6:32 pm
            Original Link

            @Canadian Friend

            “On one hand it is sad to see women debase themselves that way”

            They’re just having fun. But then, I’m not looking to marry them so it doesn’t really bother me lol

            @Darius Jackson

            “a book by some fancy pants journalist blowing the lid off womens sexuality! (HINT: They want it…they want it real bad!)”

            PUAs have known that for years:

            It’s nice to see the fancy-pants journalists finally coming to the same conclusions we’ve been telling people about. Of course they could’ve saved some time by simply listening to the guys going out and regularly taking down poon lol

        • PetiteOlive
          on June 3, 2013 at 5:50 pm
          Original Link

          True, no one wants to be the douche that abandoned her gurlz on bachelorette night to one night stander a stranger!

          • YaReally
            on June 3, 2013 at 7:05 pm
            Original Link

            Yep. They *LOVE* the attention from guys all night and will flirt it up like crazy to compete for who gets the most attention etc.

            But when you’re talking flat out “is your dick inside her at the end of the night?” results, those chicks are sticking together whether they want to or not. It’s POSSIBLE, but retardedly low odds, and totally logical from a PUA concepts perspective.

on June 3, 2013 at 11:17 am
Original Link


I love that all the women have big smiles like haha silly boy getting denied! Grrrl power!!

Then look at the eyes of the dude in the grey suit on the right. He’s faking a smile but uncomfortably thinking “ehh wtf??” and can already tell his buddy will be spending the rest of his life no closer to getting pussy than he was when they were clueless virgin teenagers, except now he’ll have a massive penalty of extreme guilt sneaking around, or losing half his money and custody of his children and end up paying alimony/child support for kids he’s not allowed to see, if he dares go out and get himself some strange.

Agreeing to monogamy is just giving someone else the power to force you into involuntary celibacy.

  • YaReally
    on June 3, 2013 at 11:26 am
    Original Link

    Maybe she banged the grey suit guy but I doubt it. My guess is he’s legit the guy’s friend and his exact thought is “heyyyy…that’s….weird behavior…wtf?? Gotta smile and clap cause I can’t say anything about it but shit, I think my buddy is *fucked*…” Basically the same expression that went over most of our faces when we scrolled down to the pics, if a camera had been there to capture our initial reaction.

    • Maldek
      on June 3, 2013 at 11:59 am
      Original Link

      Well i just did show these pictures to my wife (without her allowing to read headline/text first) and her comment after 5 seconds was:

      “oh, she is disguested with her husband”

      After she did read the text she added:
      “hm she wanted his money and maybe she didnt want to kiss him, because her boyfriend (!) is there too”

      • YaReally
        on June 3, 2013 at 12:23 pm
        Original Link

        “maybe she didnt want to kiss him, because her boyfriend (!) is there too”

        I actually was going to mention this too. I don’t think it’s the guy in grey right there, but I’ve been the “secret boyfriend” who a girl has flinched with another guy out of “I don’t want him to see me kiss my lame date” instinct and it looks a lot like this. Followed by an “oh shit I made this awkward, I’d better kiss him for real and hope no one caught what was going on there” to recover.

        I think it’s funny that a girl can tell instantly what the chick is feeling with no context. It’s not “oh she’s having trouble kissing his height!”, it’s disgust.

        • Lily
          on June 3, 2013 at 12:58 pm
          Original Link

          “It’s not “oh she’s having trouble kissing his height!”, it’s disgust.”

          Maybe she doesn’t want him to mess up her makeup, which is also quite ridiculous since she can touch it up later. Basically, it means her makeup is more important to her than him. She is definitely not in love with him – she doesn’t look up to him, or has that admiration for him that a woman in love has for her man. Eventually, she’ll become more frustrated, controlling, and bitchy….. until they both lose that spark in their eyes.

          • YaReally
            on June 3, 2013 at 7:02 pm
            Original Link

            “Maybe she doesn’t want him to mess up her makeup, which is also quite ridiculous since she can touch it up later. Basically, it means her makeup is more important to her than him”

            I’m glad you wrote that second sentence, ’cause I thought you were going to use the hair/makeup as justification to let her off the hook lol

            I have a chick coming over this week who knows I like when women do themselves up. She’s going to do her makeup, get her hair done, wear one of her favorite sexy dresses/heels, mani/pedi, eyelashes, the works. She’ll probably spend 3-6 hours in total for all this stuff, and who knows how much money.

            And she knows I’m going to be ruining all of it (tho I’ll try to be careful with the outfit so she can wear it again lol). She knows she’s going to be driving home looking like Cody Lane in the blue room and that we’ll probably take pics/vids of the whole mess.

            And she’ll do it again the next time I have her over. Because she’s so attracted to me that she doesn’t give a shit about not ruining her hair/makeup. This chick wouldn’t, in a million years, snub me for a kiss. Especially not if we were at our fucking WEDDING. I have more attraction/respect/love from my casual fuckbuddies than this guy does from his WIFE.

            Dude is fucked and won’t figure it out for years. I legit feel bad for him.

          • YaReally
            on June 4, 2013 at 1:28 pm
            Original Link

            @Zombie Shane

            She’s in her early 20s, cooks, has a good career, her own condo, works out 3x a week, doesn’t do drugs, doesn’t party much and txts me all night when she does party, has a positive attitude in general, and can keep up with my sense of humor…on top of the whole dressing up hot and liking fucked up sex thing.

            If it wasn’t summer with tons of beautiful women out there to meet, I might consider getting more serious with this one. But what’s better than having one of these girls? Having more than one of them. lol

Joe Blow
on June 3, 2013 at 11:23 am
Original Link

This does raise one of the tougher questions of manhood: how do you tell a friend he’s a delusional moron and he’s married / engaged to a complete monster?

I tried with one buddy shortly before he got married, it ended the friendship. Their marriage ended months after the wedding, as she played frisbee golf with the fine china, using him as the ‘goal.’ Since then I keep my mouth shut and let my friends crash on the rocks. It’s their lives. Never have found a solution to this quandary…

  • YaReally
    on June 3, 2013 at 11:29 am
    Original Link

    Warn them and cross your fingers, but expect to watch them crash & burn, and be there to help them pick up the pieces after it all blows up.

on June 3, 2013 at 11:26 am
Original Link

“(Speaking of, you can trace the accelerating decline of America to the point in cultural history when the bachelorette party surpassed the bachelor party in significance.)”

Very true. In fact, I’m very much against women having bachelorette parties. It’s disrespectful and lacking modesty. It’s another instance of women trying to act like or surpass men in the sex department. All it does is scream slut. If she must have a party, why can’t a woman celebrate her impending nuptials in a classy gathering, as opposed to the boisterous classless shit that goes on at bachelorette parties?

Off topic. I can’t believe it’s June already. Almost half the year is behind us. Time is flying. Speaking of June, it’s the month of weddings. You might hear many similar shocking stories from friends and acquaintances. Stay tuned.

  • Matthew King
    on June 3, 2013 at 1:54 pm
    Original Link

    Who is the lucky guy, Lily baby? I am desolated.

    • Lily
      on June 4, 2013 at 5:08 am
      Original Link

      “I am desolated”

      You have yourself to blame. Without your supervision it was only a matter of time before someone else pounced on me :)

      • Matthew King
        on June 4, 2013 at 6:08 pm
        Original Link

        Mazel tov!

        Let me know when your hypergamy egg-timer goes off and you need an alignment.

        And whatever you do, do NOT turn your head at the altar (or whatever it is the Juse use) when it comes to the kiss. You will NEVER hear the end of it from this crowd. EYES FORWARD, LOCK THEM IN.

        Remember, e-mailing is not cheating! Drop me a line so I can give you my full Catholic blessings.


        • YaReally
          on June 4, 2013 at 6:40 pm
          Original Link

          What a playa!! Remember to use Boyfriend Destroyers in your E-Mails!! (taking notes on how a real pimp games his e-harem)

Puzzle Pirate (@PuzzlePirate)
on June 3, 2013 at 11:30 am
Original Link

They actually did kiss here:

Fat-ass sister is right:

Another kiss:

You can see a bunch of wedding photos here:

[CH: She turned her cheek to the most important kiss of her life. That means something. I don't think anyone is claiming they never kissed ever at all at any other time.]

  • YaReally
    on June 3, 2013 at 12:16 pm
    Original Link

    As usual Matt’s vast imaginary experience socializing as a jetset playboy with a harem of 10s trumps everyone else’s combined real-world experience lol

    Tyson isn’t looking at the guy’s track record or how he did in his last fight or how he walks talks or acts leading up to the fight…all he’s looking for is that one instant micro-expression where the guy’s facade slips and his id reveals itself and tells him everything about him regardless of how much he tries to cover it up.

    Girls read guys like this all the time…it’s why you can lose a 9 or 10 instantly with the most minor of flinches. They’re attuned to noticing that stuff and it doesn’t matter how you try to recover after they’ve seen your incongruence, you were done the split second you doubted yourself and looked down.

    Can the guy she’s marrying tell? Probably not. Maybe he’ll be happy, who knows, but I think he’ll be Googling MMSL after he goes sexless for a year or two down the road.

    • YaReally
      on June 3, 2013 at 12:18 pm
      Original Link

      whoops that was meant to be a combo reply to Matt’s rant and Pirate’s pics which Matt will try to use to prove he’s right, but it came off confusing. My bad.

    • Matthew King
      on June 3, 2013 at 2:01 pm
      Original Link

      Isn’t it funny how everything I say is yet more evidence about how cool you are? WEIRD.

      I’d write a lengthier reply but my Lear is taxiing and Bianca and Svetlana get into the most petty little cat fights when I’m not there to ply them with champagne and dick.

      • YaReally
        on June 3, 2013 at 6:46 pm
        Original Link

        No. Funny is how, as usual, you skip addressing my pointing out the very blatantly obvious notion that you’re wrong, by hiding behind “snark”. Are you a writer for Jezebel now? “Facts will change if I just be snarky enough lolol what about teh menz!! No one pay attention to all the things I said that data and stats disprove!! Because patriarchy!!”

        How about addressing her shitty smile-kiss VS the staged ones? I mean, that’s your Occam “slice” after all. Can’t do it, huh? Nah, I guess you’d have to interact with people in real life more to be able to read body-language etc.

        It’s okay to admit when you’re wrong. Maybe it’ll be healthy for you and help get rid of some of your bitterness in the long-run?

        Tell Bianca and Svetlana I said hi. lol

        • Matthew King
          on June 4, 2013 at 5:14 am
          Original Link

          For honest, brother, I couldn’t decipher what you were trying to say with that Tyson video. Eye contact is good?

          I know, it’s the height of heresy to mention that we cannot read a world into a pair of snapshots. Which furnishes the latest reason for you to bang your Occupy drum about how uncool I am.

          But there must be something to what I say, since it gets under your skin so consistently. Let’s not touch that controversy, though. We can’t even discuss the dishonesty of a freeze frame without you and the usual crowd losing its shit over the same pet issues. It’s a crushing bore.


          • YaReally
            on June 4, 2013 at 9:04 am
            Original Link

            “For honest, brother, I couldn’t decipher what you were trying to say with that Tyson video”


            “But there must be something to what I say, since it gets under your skin so consistently.”

            Yes, what you say is wrong and retarded and I worry that new guys who don’t have enough field experience to know you’re wrong and retarded, will listen to you because you write with delusional certainty. But anyone who goes out regularly can tell you base all your ideas off a keyboard jockey view of the world in your imagination.

            It’s very simple: If you post shit that jives with the experiences of hundreds of thousands of other men who regularly go out and practice game, I will slap you on the ass and say “Good job, Matt! I agree!” If you contradict the shit that we’ve figured out and see/experience on a regular basis because we’re in the field studying this constantly, then I will call you out on being full of shit.

            I consider calling you out on your ridiculous shit to be a community service. :)

          • YaReally
            on June 4, 2013 at 6:41 pm
            Original Link

            Nothing addressing microexpressions, hey Matt? It’s cool man, keep up the insults, no one will notice you don’t know what you’re talking about. :)

    • josh
      on June 4, 2013 at 10:20 am
      Original Link

      Hey YaReally. Not disagreeing with what you are saying, but was also thinking that whenever I see the Tyson clip, it reminds me of this clip of the Thompson/Emelianenko fight which seems to be the exact opposite. One guy is going with the mad dog stare and the other just looks sleepy, looking around, wiping his nose, and then kicks mister alpha body language’s ass:

      Do you think that this is another dynamic, or is it just the next level of alpha body language? Intuitively, I have always thought that a truly confident guy could avoid the stare/look down/have closed body language, whatever, and it wouldn’t matter if he didn’t give a shit.

      I am wondering if this would apply to women too? Can they sense if a guy is so confident his body language doesn’t matter, or are they just naturally too shallow to notice anything but surface posturing?

      • YaReally
        on June 4, 2013 at 1:18 pm
        Original Link

        “I have always thought that a truly confident guy could avoid the stare/look down/have closed body language, whatever, and it wouldn’t matter if he didn’t give a shit.”

        This. The guy just doesn’t care. Why he doesn’t care could be a number of things: could be part of his “character” to stand out for marketing purposes, could be a complete bullshit front that he puts on to try to weird out his opponent while he’s actually shitting bricks inside, could be that he legitimately doesn’t think his opponent is a threat skills-wise, could be that he’s simply a guy who disconnects from all the pre-game stuff and only focuses on the actual fight itself, could be he’s found that he gasses out sooner in the fight or fights sloppier if he gets worked up into a rage at the start, etc.

        One thing to take away from this is that he holds his own frame of “don’t react to this guy, don’t get into an angry staredown, don’t play this guy’s game”. When you’re out, you might have friends who are the high-energy life of the party when you’re naturally a pretty chill guy…or you might be a high-energy guy and be hanging with a low-key guy…in both situations you may find yourself start to fall into his frame and change your energy based on how the other guy is, because your frame is weak. But down the road when your frame is solid and you really know yourself and express yourself as-is, you’ll find that you can keep your natural behavior around these guys.

        “I am wondering if this would apply to women too? Can they sense if a guy is so confident his body language doesn’t matter, or are they just naturally too shallow to notice anything but surface posturing?”

        Girls aren’t really shallow that way…a lot of them can see subtleties in body language, voice tonality, eye contact, etc. that even a guy who goes out every night for 10 years misses. They’re forced by life to learn how to spot posturing because the second they sprout tits (even before that) they have men trying to get something from them or use them or lie to them to get what they want etc. So they have to learn to do things like shit-test and spot incongruency, out of survival.

        There are girls out there who literally have a rule that when a guy approaches them they won’t say anything for the first minute, and just stare at him in the eyes, to see what he’ll do.

        Are they all super-genius mind-readers? No, of course not. But compared to guys who are trained in the opposite way, to take all women as special wonderful flowers and never ever suspect them of anything or look past their surface (“I want a nice guy!!” she says, to the guy who’s been in her friend zone for 10 years), ya, they’re all super geniuses.

        Part of why PUA advocates going out as often as possible and racking up field experience is because we’re compacting the social experience a girl has forced upon her simply by having tits, into as short a time as possible, so we can develop the same skillset. I would put my ability to read people way above like 95% of girls…but I have a shitload of field experience and naturally found the topic of reading people fascinating as a hobby so I took to it quickly.

  • Scray
    on June 3, 2013 at 12:24 pm
    Original Link

    She’s smiling against his OPEN lips in that first pic — they ain’t kissing. HE’S kissing. It’s just a closer proximity version of the above photos. The other kissing pic seems to be the result of photographer direction.

    • YaReally
      on June 3, 2013 at 12:32 pm
      Original Link

      “She’s smiling against his OPEN lips in that first pic — they ain’t kissing. HE’S kissing.”

      Yep. Noticed this too and it’s an important tell.

Matthew King
on June 3, 2013 at 11:44 am
Original Link

I guess the cynic’s role falls to me again. You are reading way too much into a single photo.

That’s the problem when a tightly reasoned hypothesis — the perils of modern marriage to a cock carousel alumna — begins to unravel into conspiracy theory. Every observed mote, indeed every phenomenon in the world from the substantial to the trivial, must be backwards-engineered into support for the theory. That’s a bad methodology. Fun to talk about and to lament over, but not very related to the truth.

The guy is holding her awkwardly, hunched over rather than lifting her up to his frame (literally and figuratively, what a man must do). His build is big enough compared to hers that he should have no trouble accomplishing the lift. Instead, he lowers himself to her frame. He just needs some practice, and yes, a shot of alpha confidence. But what man doesn’t these days?

So is her reaction visceral disgust, as you automatically assume it for purposes of theory? Or is it physical awkwardness captured at a particularly inopportune moment?

I mean, carousel graduates are vicious and bad at hiding their contempt for compliant males, to be sure. But she is such a cunt that she cannot even comport herself at the nuptials? I just don’t believe that. The wedding day is part of her fantasy. She is as fooled as anyone that she is marrying a real man. You mistake her as being fully aware of her manipulations. It’s only after she gets settled in that she gets the seven year itch. Or seven month. Or seven week. She may have vague intimations of what she has gotten into, but you are engaging in caricature.

If the groom is really “a friend of” the correspondent, then he must help his friend Jekyll get his Hyde on, now that they’re married and starting a new life. Best to show him how to truly start a new life, with him in the driver’s seat, whether that was the deal the bride signed up for or not.


  • YaReally
    on June 3, 2013 at 11:53 am
    Original Link

    You think if she was into him she wouldn’t have practiced, you know, how their physical bodies work when they kiss eachother? For the biggest photographic moment of her life? And made sure he knew what do to? She just wung it and this is their first kiss ever? Or she didn’t know people including the expensive wedding photographer she hired to take photos would photograph their first kiss because she’s never heard of a wedding before?

    Occam’s razor, yo.

    • Matthew King
      on June 3, 2013 at 1:20 pm
      Original Link

      Well that was vulgar.

      Occam’s razor, yo.


      The point of my comment above wasn’t to deny that incidents like these happen (or even to deny that it was happening in the photo). It certainly does. The point was to caution against jumping to self-satisfying conclusions when the data can possibly suggest other conclusions.

      It’s no fun being the staff contrarian.

      Wait, yes it is.

      It’s a grand, beautiful world out there beyond the game glossary.


      • earl
        on June 3, 2013 at 1:32 pm
        Original Link

        Quit getting so offended and playing a victim because you have a different opinion.

        You could be just as right in your mind about what is going on as everyone else is. Nobody looks at a piece of artwork and has the same interpretation of it.

        It could be a joke, it could be a setup, it could be she is disgusted, it could be her lover is at the wedding, it could be she has some weird religion where kissing condemns you to hell.

        At least let us have some fun in having some discussion.

        • Matthew King
          on June 3, 2013 at 2:23 pm
          Original Link

          Who’s “offended”? I am the opposite of offended. I am responding to responses.

          Now you’ve extended your divination of photographs into the realm of commenter motivations? What’s next, tea leaves and sheep entrails? Cow dung?

          Trust me, I am not preventing anybody’s stupid fun. Look around you. But if you press me, I’m not going to pretend it’s not stupid.


          • YaReally
            on June 3, 2013 at 7:08 pm
            Original Link


            “Look, most of this is a matter of disposition, and I am clearly, clearly in a very small minority here”

            lol. Look, whether the moon is made of cheese is a matter of disposition, and that 4yo child over there is clearly, clearly in a very small minority here.

            That minority is called not knowing what you’re talking about but being too stubborn to admit when you’re wrong. Look at this as an opportunity to grow and take one more step to someday becoming a Man! :*

      • YaReally
        on June 3, 2013 at 6:37 pm
        Original Link

        lol predictable as always. At least you’re consistent.

        Like I said, “Pirate’s pics which Matt will try to use to prove he’s right”. Occam’s razor says that a girl who clearly isn’t into her dude in the biggest moment of their life that she’s dreamt about since she was a child, probably just isn’t into her dude.

        If a baby cries at having to eat vegetables, he probably doesn’t want to eat vegetables.

        Simplify, Matt. I know you don’t get to mentally masturbate and listen to yourself pontificate when you just accept the simple and obvious answer like everyone else, but imagine the wear & tear on your fingertips you’ll save by not having to type out your armchair analyses. :)

        • Matthew King
          on June 4, 2013 at 5:42 am
          Original Link

          I’ll take mental masturbation over the mutual handies you two sissies are giving each other.

          And for those of you who find it difficult to string together a coherent thought — much less compose an intelligent sentence — there is little doubt why my presence sends you into predictable palsy fits of consternation.

          OMG, like how could he put together, like, paragraphs of stuff when it takes me all day to hunt and peck a dozen words!!!

          You are not the people I am writing to, for, or about. Why do you insist on attaching your thinly disguised fan mail to every thread I post to?

          You know what obsessive incredulity and frustration over a person indicates, don’t you? You’re not the first bicurious dudes to have a crush on me.

          Here you are again talking about me rather than the subject of the post. You can’t help yourselves, you have no recourse when you’ve played every last card in your sorry little hand.


          • YaReally
            on June 4, 2013 at 8:58 am
            Original Link

            And again you go into name-calling and trying (badly) to personally insult us etc. instead of addressing shit. We’ve got photos of the bride snubbing his kiss at the most epic kissing moment of their lives, then a sad-ass one of her cockblocking his kiss with a teethy smile, and the only pics she’s actually kissing him are staged by a photographer.

            You can talk about how much you want us to suck your dick all day, but it won’t distract anyone from being able to tell that you’re wrong. :)

        • Greg Eliot
          on June 4, 2013 at 8:46 am
          Original Link

          Aren’t you the guy who vaingloriously boasts at every opportunity that you don’t really care what the folks on this forum say and don’t bother responding?

          • YaReally
            on June 4, 2013 at 1:21 pm
            Original Link


            No, I’m pretty sure the gloryholes are anonymous.

  • Cragsleeper
    on June 3, 2013 at 2:03 pm
    Original Link

    I’m typically on board with not jumping to conclusions, but I can’t see any plausible explanation other than that she was uncomfortable kissing her husband. You’re correct in that typically the wedding is part of a woman’s fantasy – which is exactly why they nail things like the wedding kiss; they’ve rehearsed it in their minds over and over again. I had thought maybe he was whispering something in her ear and she was laughing due to that, but another pic posted in this thread shows him clearly kissing her on the lips while she continues to smile. Hell, shouldn’t admit this but I’ve had a woman react that way to a kiss, and even in my beta stupor I realized she was disgusted by me.

    [CH: The photo captures her id monster, and it is not pretty. It's all claws and clamped vagina.]

    • YaReally
      on June 3, 2013 at 7:34 pm
      Original Link

      “Hell, shouldn’t admit this but I’ve had a woman react that way to a kiss”

      Don’t feel bad, I’ve had it happen too, that’s why I recognize it. :’( lol

late late late bloomer
on June 3, 2013 at 12:43 pm
Original Link

in all seriousness, whether it’s the guy in the picture or someone else at the wedding, there is at least one current sexual partner of hers in attendance, and it’s obviously not the husband. she thinks she can squeak through the vows without incident. but she doesn’t want to lose the interest of her lover by showing too much affection and finds herself viscerally revolted by this interloper, her husband, when she’s thinking about the man that makes her shiver.

i’ve been at weddings of women i was sleeping with. and they’re not as sick as this chick but pretty much the same. i’ve heard “when i’m with him i feel like i’m cheating on you” about husbands.

when will this world just end already.

  • Matthew King
    on June 3, 2013 at 2:31 pm
    Original Link

    … there is at least one current sexual partner of hers in attendance, and it’s obviously not the husband. she thinks she can squeak through the vows without incident. but she doesn’t want to lose the interest of her lover by showing too much affection and …

    Sweeeet fuck, you read too much fanfic. The lines between fabrication and reality are permanently blurred. You know all this about the couple … how?

    Posting a photo here becomes a call for short story submissions. Instead of Create A Caption contest, it’s Create A Psychodrama.

    I give up.

    • YaReally
      on June 3, 2013 at 7:23 pm
      Original Link

      “i’ve heard “when i’m with him i feel like i’m cheating on you” about husbands.”

      lol I’ve gotten this too. It depressed me at first, but when you realize how many sexless/attractionless relationships there are out there, it’s hard to really get upset because it’s such a widespread thing that people just don’t talk about.

      “Sweeeet fuck, you read too much fanfic. The lines between fabrication and reality are permanently blurred. You know all this about the couple … how?”

      Like we’ve already established here:

      This stuff is fanfic, screenplay fabrication to you because you don’t have the real world experience other guys do. Which is surprising, because I would’ve figured you’d have TONS of reference experience of women rejecting you kissing them to draw from lol I guess you’d have to interact with them first.

      • Matthew King
        on June 4, 2013 at 6:09 am
        Original Link

        This is as close to a confession of embellishment as we will ever get from you, studly.

        I wasn’t talking about the “TONS of … women rejecting you kissing them” — though I’d point out that the use of the word TONS in all-caps is an indication you are serial date rapist and/or drive-by groper one level removed from a subway masturbator. Your “game” is conversational rohypnol among a group of sloshed slots whose panties are already around their proverbial knees. (Don’t mind me, I’m green with envy. Ipso facto.)

        I was talking about Late Bloomer’s imaginative backstory, where he claims to have found the “the interest of her lover,” visceral revulsion, and thoughts that “make[] her shiver” in a fleeting expression. Just like:×272.jpg
        Look at Obama! He’s retarded! Durrrrrr…

        Now, dumbass, let me preempt your predictable reply and emphasize that yes, these scenarios actually exist in real life, all the time. I’ve seen the Jerry Springer show. I have heard what the white trash landfills you scavenge are like. And no, these are not circumstances that occur often in the class of people I most often deal with. But I will acknowledge the frequency of its occurrence among your low-class, permaboner, rut-in-the-shitter-stall type.

        NONETHELESS, Late Bloomer’s depiction of things is simply not in evidence of the photo. Do you not realize that the fantastical stories you concoct say much more about you and your class than they possibly could about a group of people whose entire lives you claim to have gleaned from a couple of snapshots?


        • YaReally
          on June 4, 2013 at 8:54 am
          Original Link

          What in the world was the first half of your comment up to the Obama GIF about? lol. Have you gone off your meds?

          “these are not circumstances that occur often in the class of people I most often deal with.”

          They do, you just aren’t aware of it. You aren’t privy to the information because you give off a judgemental vibe, so they put on their “hopefully King A doesn’t think we have “no class”!!” facade when you’re around. Yes, even your close friends.

          Besides, if the “class of people” you “most often deal with” are guys like Greg Eliot, then you and I have *VERY* different definitions of class. lol

          • YaReally
            on June 4, 2013 at 1:00 pm
            Original Link

            Look man, your mom said she was INTO it, I just went along with it. I hear she’s off all the drugs now so hopefully she’s doing better. Send her my love.

          • YaReally
            on June 4, 2013 at 1:47 pm
            Original Link

            Oh man, what does that make your mom then?

on June 3, 2013 at 1:52 pm
Original Link

For anyone worried about death from rug-munching, some numbers:

6.4 per 100,000 incidence for white men.

I’ll repeat that:

6.4 per 100,000.

In short and in sum and in fine, if eating cunt is your thing, go to it. The absolute risk is impressively low.–

[CH: The prettier the girl, the more I want to labiamize her. Glad to hear the risk is low, (and probably lower still for hot girls who don't sleep around as much as less attractive girls.)]

  • Libertardian
    on June 3, 2013 at 5:04 pm
    Original Link

    “The prettier the girl, the more I want to labiamize her.”

    Claiming that eating pussy is inherently beta is a popular way to establish Internet tough guy cred these days, so it’s refreshing to hear some common sense on that subject.

    [Ch: The alpha or beta merit of cunnilingus is a fine, vertical line. It's true that plenty of alphas love to eat at the Y, but this fascination only holds for pretty girls with non-smelly vaginas. It's also true that plenty of betas will promptly go down on women to the exclusion of their own pleasure because they think a woman's pleasure is more important, and that she will reward him for his slobbery slavishness.

    Basically, it's contextual. A good rule of thumb, though: When you are first dating a hot babe -- aka a babe in demand -- it's a good idea to resist the urge to munch on her for hours on end before you have fucked her and gotten off. Cunnilingus may be introduced later on, say two months, when she is fully engaged with you as an intimacy partner.]

    • Anon
      on June 3, 2013 at 6:47 pm
      Original Link

      “Cunnilingus may be introduced later on, say two months”

      That may be valid for guys who are relationship-oriented. Others like to make a strong impression even for one night stands.

      If hotness and hygiene are satisfactory, and even if rug-munching is not pleasurable in itself, going full Pierre Woodman on a girl with cunni+G-spot+A-spot, followed by ruthless doggystyle (and anal if you have no spiritual depth whatsoever) is quite a sure way to gain a sex god cred, without risking the alpha points supposedly scored during the courting ritual.

      Not to please her, not to deepen the emotional bond in a relationship. The sole purpose here is ego masturbation.

      • YaReally
        on June 4, 2013 at 3:04 pm
        Original Link


        First time is all about rocking her world. But I do it for MY pleasure (ego), not hers. I pride myself on fucking her in a way that no other guy will ever be able to fuck her.

        They don’t come back to me over and over for my beer belly, lack of money, no car, and average height lol

Prime Alpha
on June 3, 2013 at 7:33 pm
Original Link

Looking some more at the pics, still in complete disbelief, everyone around them is smilng happy-happy joy-joy smiles (as if watching a real happy moment, which this clearly isnt) as the groom can’t even land a kiss on the bride’s cheek. There is something malevolently wrong with these pics on so many levels. Nothing adds up. What has the world come to. Why is everyone around smiling, why is the bride smiling, what the hell is the groom doing. I’m serious. I can’t understand these pics for the life of me.

  • YaReally
    on June 3, 2013 at 7:40 pm
    Original Link

    “Why is everyone around smiling, why is the bride smiling, what the hell is the groom doing. I’m serious. I can’t understand these pics for the life of me.”

    This is the fucked up part to me…how everyone will go along with it. Like CH replied up above:

    “for those of us in the know, it was a night of nonstop hilarity watching their eyeplay and lustful rapprochement coordinated under the blank stare of the groom’s oblivious lumpentude. When I told the girl I was with, she rolled her eyes and pleaded with me not to bring it up again. Once the marrying machinery is in motion, the bride’s girl friends will close rank and make sure all peccadillos are swept under the rug so that the show can go on without a hitch.”

    People will just willingly wave and say “You’ll be fine!” to their friend as he walks into a bear cave slathered in honey, just because they don’t want to be the messenger that gets shot, or be the cause of the boat rocking and feel guilty, or know their friend wouldn’t listen to them anyway, or want company in their misery because they fell for the same shit, or they know they’ll get henpecked by all her friends rewriting her slutty history for her, or they’re just as ignorant as the guy covered in honey.

    The Internet existing has been amazing for men. They were finally able to discuss the realities of marriage and compare notes and realize that they weren’t the only ones suffering. Now if we could just get guys to read those discussions BEFORE they go out and buy a ring…

on June 3, 2013 at 8:13 pm
Original Link

Ok so I tried using Plenty of Fish to help with my text game, any advice? Where did I go wrong, was I to much of a Douche,

Chateau Heartiste please help me.

So here goes;

Me: I don’t think we should get to know each other.

Her: Then why did you message me?

Me:We just wouldn’t get along, you wouldn’t take my shit, I wouldn’t take yours, etc.


Me: It’s because were to much alike, who do you think cheats more in relationships girls or guys?

Her: Both cheat. Not one cheats more than the other.

Me: Oh my God, girls cheat way more. I read this article on yahoo news yesterday morning at 6:00 and this guy was raising his kid for 2 years, come to find out, it wasn’t HIS.

Her: And? Do you know how many single moms are out there raising kids on their own? Millions. My mom is one of them.

Me: Fair, but do you know how many guys are stuck paying child support because their partner sabotaged their condom?

Me: Case closed.

Her: There are a lot of those too! Never said there wasn’t. Jesus Christ! Do you get on here just to piss people the fuck off? Honestly!

Her: I would understand if I messaged you first, but I didn’t! You provoked a damn argument on purpose. No wonder you’re on this site. You can’t find a girl because you’re an inconsiderate prick. I’m on here because I’m bored and in my free time its fun.

Me: Ha Ha Ha OK, so tell me, what are three things that make you unique?

Her: ..Why do you ask?

Me: Well I was curious about you but now I’m just annoyed.

Her: Your first impression that you gave me was terrible. Why would I want to tell you anything about me, huh? Go read my profile again if you want to know anything, jerk. Bye.

Brutal Truth me.

  • YaReally
    on June 3, 2013 at 11:10 pm
    Original Link

    Seemed flawless to me! Lol.

on June 4, 2013 at 2:06 am
Original Link


Actor Jesse Eisenberg shows a surprisingly alpha frame in this interview:

Scroll down to the video. He stumbles at :45, but recovers.

I shouldn’t be surprised, though, after his powerful performance in The Social Network.

And she’s tingly for sure.

  • Matthew King
    on June 4, 2013 at 7:48 am
    Original Link

    Eisenberg is obviously hitting on her hard, and she was reciprocating. The misinterpretation of this event — “jerk,” “mocking,” “cringe-worthy” — says everything about how clueless the feminized media is.

    When you see the nervous ball of cute-hot interviewing him, everything makes sense and you say, “oh.”

    Afterwards, even the mamacita interviewer felt it necessary to join the media chorus (which didn’t hurt her attention-whoring bid for clicks), but her heart was clearly not in it. “UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.”

    Now being ignored, she is fishing for more of the same ol’ time religion:

    Miss Puga made it to the Yahoo celebrity wire today, so she will be dealing with a permanent damp spot in her panties, and the more Eisenberg ignores her, the swampier it gets. A few months (weeks? days?) from now it will leak that he quietly flew her out to Hollywood and banged the bejeezus out of her.

    “Jesse Eisenberg isn’t very nice.” Game, set, and snatch.

    It’s rare to see mediocre celebrity flirting and its hypertingled response transcribed for the world to see. Good find.


    • YaReally
      on June 4, 2013 at 12:59 pm
      Original Link

      “Eisenberg is obviously hitting on her hard, and she was reciprocating. ”

      Heyyyy, you made an accurate read! See? That wasn’t so hard was it? Do more of this “not being wrong” thing lol

      Loved this part:

      R: You know what, just skip it. Let’s skip it. (compliance test to drop it after he won’t immediately jump through the hoop she set)

      J: No, I’ll do it. I’ll do the thing. I just want to know what to give it? (controlling the frame)

      R: Say it like if we just broke up. (falling into his frame, compliance test)

      J: I probably wouldn’t say anything then. (lol’ed hard at this. perfect way to handle the test)

      R: Ok… [C’mon!!] Say it like you’re trying to find me in a crowded place. (frustrated with him but in an attracted way)

      J: Oh ok. Romina [he says it pretty softly.] (complying)

      R: That’s it? (shit-test)

      J: The thing is I didn’t want to find you. I was actually hoping to stay alone. (obliterating shit-test)

      His only problem is that she isn’t smart enough to get his humor or play back with it, because she probably doesn’t have anyone tease her since she’s hot. I run into this a lot because I have a dry/sarcastic/fast/deadpan sense of humor, so if a girl isn’t sharp, she just thinks I’m a jerk or an idiot because the innuendo, nuances, call-back humor, references, etc. I’m tossing out on the fly go over her head.

      Notice she says “When the five minute “interview” (more like self-esteem butchering) were finally over I went behind a curtain to wait for the memory cards from the interview. I peaked around the curtain to ask Jesse about his neighborhood in New York (he lives a few blocks from where I used to live) and he immediately says, “You’re still here?””

      She tries to get rapport with him, even after he was “mean”. If he was a homeless bum on the street who tried to stab her with a heroin needle, she wouldn’t be seeking rapport with him again.

      His problem here is more a lack of calibration to her personality. ie – he’s probably used to being into girls who, and having guy-friends who, can shit-talk back and forth with him, which is why he’s so relentless with her in the interview. He realizes a few times he needs to pull back (“no, no, I’ll do the card trick”), so he’s trying to calibrate, but he probably just doesn’t have that much experience with pickup since he, you know, has other shit to do being a movie star and all. lol So he kind of backs off, but doesn’t lead her into good emotions before going back into it, he just floors the pedal again and ends up in the same situation, again probably expecting her to be able to keep up.

      After the interview, he teases with a “You’re still here?” thinking she’ll get that it’s a tease and that he’s just using call-back humor to reference an in-joke they had in the interview, but she’s, well, not smart enough at that moment to pick up on that and probably a little bit insecure under the hotness and she’s used to everyone telling her she’s a special flower in her world, so while she might objectively be smart enough to pick up on the humor, her brain at that point in time, isn’t in a mode where it’s registering that stuff because it’s clouded with “I feel embarrassed!! I feel too many emotions!!”. Kind of like when someone gets into a fight and just starts wildly throwing haymakers, VS a boxer entering a ring prepared to fight smart. Catch that boxer off guard and he might flail around.

      So I can’t say she’s for sure DUMB, she’s just not in the type of mindset that Jesse’s style gels with and he needed to calibrate down and pull back a bit. Around her older brother, at home on a Sunday afternoon, she might be sharp as fuck…but in the studio where every guy on staff wants to bang her and everyone treats her super special and celebrities probably fawn over her for being hot, and no one will tell her those glasses are ridiculous, she’s riding the Magic Schoolbus where nothing can hurt her and all the flowers wave at her and the sun smiles “hello!”…and then Jesse comes along and shits on the bus lol

      Ideally instead of “You’re still here?”, he’d have turned the teasing off and instead talked about New York and built rapport etc. and basically took two steps back and then went forward slowly, VS the steamrolling forward he was doing.

      Anyway, it’s a good example of passing shit/compliance/hoop tests (like Mystery says, if she gives you a hoop “say my name”, make her jump through a hoop “tell me how to say it” and then it’s fine to comply), and also a good example of how important learning to calibrate on the fly to what the other person is feeling/thinking is.

      Here’s a clip of John Mayer teasing some of his fans;

      He’s got a dry/sarcastic humor, but he has wicked calibration. He knows these girls aren’t genius intellects, and that they’re not in the headspace to go toe to toe with him, so he just keeps things light and he drops in little comments (“you’ll get there when you sell out.”) that us viewers get, but that he knows will go completely over the girls’ heads.

      Contrast that with his interview with Alexa Chung, where he knows he’s dealing with a sharp intellectual equal who’s going to get his humor and be able to play along…so he goes full-tilt with it and knows she can keep up:

      How do you learn this calibration?

      Field Experience. John Mayer has banged a zillion chicks…I’m sure Eisenberg does fine, being a celebrity, but I’d doubt he’s spent as much time flirting with a variety of girls as Mayer has, so naturally he’s not as calibrated.

      Anyway, what do I know. lol

      • cryo
        on June 4, 2013 at 2:25 pm
        Original Link

        Pretty good analysis there. Though it was kind of weird how you acted like that female blogger/journalist/whatever was wicked hot. I’m sure Eisenberg has been around broads that are much more delicious than her.

        Calibration is definitely an important aspect of game, at least if you want to actually get laid. However, I do have fun with brutally taking down dumb bitches, and most of the time the humor is so subtle and dry that these hoes don’t even realize they are being mocked and ridiculed. And to top it all off, I still usually manage to get the bang.

        • YaReally
          on June 4, 2013 at 3:16 pm
          Original Link

          “Though it was kind of weird how you acted like that female blogger/journalist/whatever was wicked hot”

          Doesn’t matter how hot I think she is. What matters is how hot she thinks she is, and how hot the people around her that she interacts with daily think she is.

          She’s young, cute, skinny, bubbly, and confident enough to interview celebrities. She has 500 guys around her who all think she’s the hottest girl in the world and that she can do no wrong because to them, she is and she can’t.

          Calibrate to the girl and her emotions. You don’t neg an insecure shy 9, and you don’t play softball with a bitchy shit-testing 7.

Comment Of The Week: The Guileless Gatsby

Original Link

via Heartiste

on June 2, 2013 at 1:29 pm
Original Link

FR –>

The thirty day challenge began Weds, rather than Tues. Had a ton of interactions, but there’s always a few per night that present a learning opportunity. As always, I apologize for the length.

Weds —

We roll to a section of town with several great medium intensity venues (more high energy and anonymous than a straight up bar but less than a club). I spot a guy talking to a 6 and a 7. I study them for a few seconds and conclude the guy isn’t with them (their body language, his body language, blah blah). I open with the usual ‘sorry I’m late…’ and exchange names, then the dude talks over me to the 6 and asks her what she does. She says, flatly, ‘work.’

Me: (I smirk and tap her on the arm) Really? That’s the best you can do. -Work-?
6: Ya…
Me: Fine, if you and your friend aren’t gonna tell me what you do…I’m just gonna make something up
6: …that’s fine.
Me: that’s fine (spoken with my tongue out) that’s you. that’s what you sound like (she laughs)
AGC: Nah, if they don’t want to tell…that’s cool, I mean — – (starts talking to the 7)
Me: Yeah, obviously you and your friend work in the circus, and you’re the ring leader and she’s the lion tamer.
6: Psh….(pause…she decides to play along) she would never be a lion tamer, I would be….
Me: She’s an incompetent lion tamer?! That’s kind of a mean thing to say about your friend
6: No, I – -
Me: I mean, christ…with friends like you. Whatever, I won’t tell her, it’ll be our secret.
6: (blink blink)….huh, I….
Me: (immediately turns to the 7 cutting off her convo with chode) Your FRIEND thinks you’re a shitty lion tamer
7: (pauses, tilts head, laughs) what….
Me: (to the 6) Sorry, I broke the secret. You were foolish to share it with me
6: (smirks) We don’t have secrets anyway
Me: Oh it’s gonna be like that, eh? (walks across group, puts arm around 7…looks at her) Hey, we’re best friends now. HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM APPLES, 6?
6: (laughs…then, 7 tries to do that thing girls do where they talk to each other and exclude the guys….I’m sick of this shit happening; I end up snapping my fingers between them) WHAT. THE. FUCK? You are SO bad at this! Stop talking to her.
7: (she turns back) Oh, sorry!
Me: Ya… (AGC keeps trying to fuck my shit up by just saying logical shit ‘what are you talking about’ ‘what, they’re friends dude…’ He talks to the 6, motioning at me a few times)….guess what, I have you figured out already. (idk, it just came out of my mouth)
7: Oh ya?
Me: Ya….you’re like the kind of person who — almost always unwillingly — inspires a lot of passion in people.
7: (tilts her head and chuckles) what does that even mean….?
(on cue, AGC starts talking to 7 again about how awesome he is at painting, art, blah blah blah blah….and he’s talking LOUD, trying to box me out…her eyes are glazing over, and I lightly tap her arm, then look at him and gesture with my thumb)
Me: (steps a little closer when he turns attention back to the 6 for one second) See what I mean? (she snickers and turns more toward me….ahhh, social hookpoint reached, now it’s time to DHV….but then…_

Then three more girls come in and swoop those two away, but I didn’t let the 7 go easily. Worst number close in the history of all time. I barely reached the social hookpoint and I’m like, ‘ya so give me your number.’ She’s like ‘I don’t even know you!’ ‘So…’ Lol, I was pushy and gay about it, but I got it. Don’t any of you worry — as of right now she’s a flake. Still, it seems like you gotta ask for the number (or try to go with them or keep them there if you can), if only to get smoother at executing the process. I just thought that using the cold read there to AMOG was pretty cool.

Ya, then after I talked with a 5.5 and a 4….using game on the 5.5 was like fishing with dynamite. Could easily be the summer’s first lay…but I mean….meh, idk, maybe hold out for something better.

Thurs —

Opened lots of sets at a club…nice venue. One interaction stood out. I was talking to these three girls, 6.5, 7, 7.5. Opened…did the little roleplay, got their names, then….

Me: Ya…..she’s definitely the best singer out of you three
7.5: No I’m not
Me: Ya you are. Sing YMCA.
7.5: (laughing) Okay, well…you have to do the YMCA signs
Me: I don’t have to do shit. We’ll all do it, all right guys? I’m gonna count you off……1, 2, 3, 4
(funny shit, she starts singing it, her friends start doing the YMCA thing — I don’t do anything)
Me: …. you guys look real stupid right now. (they laugh)

Enter three tall, ripped, d00ds.
AMOG1: Who the fuck is this guy? Psh
AMOG2: Yeah, I’ll have a cranberry vodka, fool
(they laugh among themselves…….fuck these motherfuckers)
Me: (smile) All right man…(then just points to the table where there are no cranberry vodkas)…there you go
AMOG3 gets in my space, looking down at me trying to intimidate me…I still smile
Me: Hey man, nice to meet you. That’s a killer belt you have on.
AMOG3: Nice to meet you to, and uh….I’m, just a weeeee bit taller than you
Me: (in a thuglife-meets-pauly-shore’s-optimism voice….still smiling) Congratulations, dudebro!
(girls laugh, when I try to shake his hand again he does the thing where he runs his hand through his hair instead….now I just legit laugh at this faggot and turn back to the main group)
Me: I used to have a secret handshake just like that in 10th grade — did you guys have secret handshakes? (to the girls — one of them covers her mouth with a snicker, holy shit…am I….am I sort of winning this?….now the guy is visibly pissed)
AMOG3: ….yeah, well when was that…25 years ago?!
(wtf….I’m guessing he must’ve meant 5 years ago to comment on my youth but due to a total abundance of fagitude messed it up. I just look down at the girl next to him and raise eyebrow then look away…no one laughs at what he says now)
AMOG3: …These are our girlfriends dude, step the fuck off.
7: No, no hey it’s okay…we were having fun, and…
Me: Nah, hey, I totally understand. It was nice meeting all of you.
(I then make sure to shake all of the AMOG’s hands and just bounce)

That night was ok. Nightly opened a set with a 3, 5, and 6 (I swear I only see him open average/plain sets) So for funsies I kissed the 5 (his target was the 5.5) in like 5 minutes. However, I was a shitty wing because I went to the bar with both of them to give Nightly a chance alone with his target….then just opened another set. Without anyone to distract, the obstacles returned…heh. M’bad.

Fri —

Three interactions that are strange….first, a 7 and a 7.5. I do the opener, I start into a roleplay — ‘we met last week at the party….’ /HIJACKED

7: Ya, there was a unicorn there, right?
7.5: Oh I’m sure there was, Yeah WE MET BY THE UNICORN (puts a hand on my shoulders) Remember? You were the gayest one there…
Me: …Oh hey that’s an okay story, I give it a 6 on a scale of 1-10
7: (they both laugh…)
Me: So you guys are obviously from around here
7.5: Actually we aren’t….
7: Yeah, we’re from Mars
Me: I’m from Venus — I guess they mixed us up. (I think it’s a good joke, but it’s a little too much in the moment and it sails over their heads)
7.5: What’s Venus like?
Me: Idk I left when I was a baby….you go to school?
7: Ya, I’m an English major
Me: Oh that’s why you make up stories…(to the 7.5) let me see your glasses
(7.5 smiles then complies)
Me: (impersonation of the 7) Oooh look at me, I make up stories about being on Mars, blah blah blah, I’m so smart I’m an Eng-rish major….
(they laugh, and I’m sitting there with her glasses on for a few seconds and things die a little…then, all of a sudden…)
7: Wow, be entertaining.
7.5: Ya, you were so much fun a minute or two ago.
Me: Fuck you. (lol I realize too late that this entire thing is just a ninja insane shit test of epic proportions — or that’s what my perceptions lead me to believe, and so I’ve just come off as another yuk yuk queer giving them good vibes, and so ya…the fuck you is actually kind of butthurt because I feel like they didn’t need more jokes from me or whatever, I feel like they needed to be led/dominated/whatever in response to the testing….I manage to recapture the bad emotions while they recoil)
7/7.5: Whoa…
Me: (smile, act as if it didn’t happen) Oh yeah, why an English major, why not Art, or biology, or whatever? (they snicker…)
7: Because I’m from Maaaaaaars….
(both of them giggle at one another…..I’m confused as phuck….)
Me: Ya, cool. You gonna