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The Fishing Theory Of Game

via Heartiste

	kant
	on April 7, 2015 at 8:57 pm



Yareally, etc

Here’s a field report from a few days ago that highlights some of the comfort issues we were discussing in the earlier thread. The difference between this and my typical dates is that we skipped the bar and went straight to my place for a drink (sometimes I have them meet me right at my place but that’s a different situation altogether). I got the lay by (like YaReally suggested in the post that came out today) doing some sex talk based rapport to gain the comfort that was missing.. Here it is:

Met her late on a Friday night at 1:30am. I figured this would be a lay up considering the meeting time, but it was actually quite tough and I almost didn’t get the lay.

We got to the bar but there was a cover and a DJ and it was too loud, so I suggested going somewhere else. We stopped by my place to get my cigs but ended up staying, we smoked and I got us a couple of beers. She seemed very nervous and wouldn’t stop talking, and I just played my typical relaxed game.

After I finished my beer I started escalating, but her kissing was very held back and she was hesitant to do anything sexual. She stopped me to ‘talk about what’s going on’, said ‘I don’t have sex with a stranger I just met’ etc etc. I didn’t feel like dealing with her LMR, so I just said it’s cool and whatever she doesn’t feel like doing we don’t have to. She felt more comfortable after that and we started fooling around again, but once I started rubbing her pussy she again stopped me to talk.

She said she should go, I told her to go if she wants to. She said she’d be down to meet again but I said she seems cool and everything but honestly no offense but I’m just into more sexually open women. She took offense that she’s not sexually open, and said she just doesn’t fuck strangers so quickly unless she’s really drunk. I said that’s sad that she has to be drunk to feel comfortable with sex, and that I’m only interested in fucking her sober. I told her I don’t do relationships or monogamy and talked about my experience with group sex and so on. We talked about society slut shaming women and she started to open up more, talking about how she’s a really sexual person and doesn’t want to be inhibited by a man. She wasn’t leaving so I had the feeling that she was secretly hoping we’d find a way to get around her ASD so we could fuck.

It was getting late now, past 3am, and she asked if she could sleep over and borrow a tshirt. At this point I could sense a shift in her mood. I got a tshirt and had her turn around and slowly and sexily I took her dress and bra off, and had her put on the shirt. I could see her horniness growing. I told her I know it’s not fair for her to only be naked, and she readily agreed, so I took my shirt and pants off. She looked at my crotch with DDB eyes and said ‘wow it looks like you have a really nice cock under there’ and started touching it lightly. She said ‘feel free to take it out..’ and I took it out, she said ‘that’s a really beautiful cock’ and started sucking it lightly.

At this point it was a done deal, I let her blow me for a while then fucked her with no LMR. She orgasmed hard during sex and said the sex was amazing. Afterward we debriefed and the floodgates opened, she told me about all the sex she’s had and some one night stands lately (completely contradicting what she had said earlier). We talked about dating and she said the sex should definitely happen on the first date, and if it doesn’t by the third she would dump the guy–again contradicting everything she said an hour before. Women are so strange, they literally don’t even notice when they do this. Whatever ‘feels’ like the truth IS the truth to them.

I think the problem here was that I didn’t build enough comfort early on, I should have taken her to a bar for a drink or two, then back to my place for a third drink to have her fully comfortable and ready for sex.

She left early in the morning.




• 	YaReally
  	on April 9, 2015 at 1:40 am

  

  The responses to this from the usual crybaby crew are fucking hilarious lol

  You built a bunch of Comfort of the “there will not just be no bad consequences to fucking him, but there’ll be good rewards for it” variety with the sex talk. Giving her a bunch of opportunities to leave is another way to build Comfort, because you’re saying like, “you can choose to stay, but if you change your mind that’s cool I have enough sexual abundance to not care and have to rape you or anything, it would be cool if you stay cause I’m into you but I know we’ll bang next time we hang out if we don’t bang tonight so it’s not a big deal to me if you don’t want to hook up tonight”.

  Then add on the qualifier of losing interest in her because she’s not sexual enough and there you go. I use that type of one a lot. I do a lot of talking about how people are judgemental about sex and prudes and I like adventurous girls and adventurous sex etc. so the girl can tell that if she doesn’t step it up and let that sexual side out, she’s going to lose me. So while you (and walawala it sounds) are doing this with HER as the subject, like “I thought YOU were more adventurous” or “I prefer girls who are more sexually open (than YOU)”, I do it in a more roundabout way where I talk about other girls who were prudish and how it was a turn-off to me, and other girls who were really sexual and comfortable with sex and how that was a turn-ON to me, and the girl’s hamster reads between the lines and picks up what I’m saying and figures out that she should qualify herself to me…I find this way is a little more subtle with slightly less chance of coming off confrontational. Just my personal style, but some guys vibe works really well with the way you’re doing it…like I’ve known guys who will take it to the extreme and like if the girl won’t let him escalate he’ll flat out tell the girl “Ok, I’m calling you a cab.” “What? Why??” “I don’t like to waste my time. I thought we had a connection but you clearly don’t want to be here.” and the girl will scramble like crazy to qualify herself. I prefer the laid back hippy-esque “it’s all good” style myself lol

  Meanwhile for one of the judgemental “WIMMIN SHOUDLNT HAVE SEX TAT GIRLS A SLUT ANY GIR L WHO HAS SEX IS A WORTHLESS SLUT WHORE MY GIRLFRIEND IS A UNICORN” chodes, that girl will keep up the “oh I never have sex on the first date” act because the girl knows that’s what they want to hear and is used to being disqualified if she’s honest about sex.

  Then the guy discovers the video of her getting gangbanged in Cuba when she was in college after 10 years of wedded bliss where she reluctantly gives him sad handjobs once a month because she “just isn’t a slut” and his mind is blown lol

  And a good read on her not actively trying to leave meaning she hopes you’ll find a way around her ASD. My fav analogy for it is that her ASD is like a prison guard patrolling the prison halls and you’re the guy sneaking in to break her out of prison. She WANTS to escape with you but she can’t control that ASD guard, and when he walks by if he catches you two she’ll get LMR you have to deal with, but she’s hoping as much as you do that you’ll figure out a way to sneak past that guard and escape to sexual freedom. Like you’re in it together, both up against her ASD because she doesn’t WANT to get ASD. But a lot of guys will act like she’s controlling her ASD and telling the guard to come over and get huffy or give up ’cause they don’t just “get it”.

  Also the sober sex thing was a good move. I actually had a buddy who was convinced it was impossible to have sex with a girl the first time if you were both sober, like it was so outside of his reality. When a girl meets a guy who’s able to escalate sexually AND make it comfortable/fun for her (removing all her fears and nerves about it) while both of you are stone cold sober, she knows “ok this is a guy who’s got a lot of sexual experience”. It’s the chodey inexperienced guys who are feeding girls shots trying to get them drunk enough to bang them…even that sentence, what does that say about the guy’s view of his own value, you know?

  I get the beautiful cock type stuff all the time. It’s nothing special, I’m pretty ugly naked actually but when she’s attracted she’ll choose to see it all as sexy so I purposely walk around naked after we bang because that’s funny to me lol Like the saying goes: Before sex a girl will look for any reason NOT to fuck you, but after sex she’ll look for any reason to justify fucking you.

  You could have avoided some of that bomb diffusing you had to do but you still got the lay so props. But like, you can see how if you had dropped into somewhere for a single beer or coffee, you could’ve built the Comfort you needed and avoided a lot of that “up till 6am diffusing the bomb” hassle. Like if you do that Comfort stuff at the bar, when you get back to your place there’s zero ASD/LMR, no resistance at all, because you’ve flipped all the Comfort switches she needs.

  Like a buddy I’m helping with his game was telling me all his brilliant plans/routines he’s trying to come up with for how to get the girl back to his place and how to get her into his apartment and then what movie they’ll watch and he’ll need beer, vodka, whiskey, some girls like orange juice with their vodka but some might like cranberry juice so better go buy some cran and then this movie has a sexual theme but it’s funny so it’s– and then if there’s a blanket here by an hour into the movie he can say it’s cold in here and get the blanket and–

  And I can’t even relate to that anymore. I used to do that same stuff when I didn’t know how to build that Comfort ahead of time through sexual Rapport so I can’t make fun of him for it (right now his main prob is he’s not very comfortable with sex/sexuality, he’s a minority dude who grew up in a super strict anti-sex household so he has a lot of baggage to work through with feeling ashamed about sex). But now that I do my Comfort ahead of time, my dates tend to look like we meet up for one beer, I built Comfort and then she’s ready to go back to my place, no excuses or anything needed really, neither of us really mentions it we just go “want to get out of here?” “sure”. There have been a few times where I go to order another round of drinks because I’m like it couldn’t happen THIS fast, and the girl is the one to say “ehh I’m good” and I cancel the drinks and we leave, because she was signalling “hey look I’m ready to fuck, let’s not waste all night here”. Then when we get outside I do a quick “now that we’re finally alone…” kiss and put out my arm for her to walk arm in arm with me and walk toward my place (I say “that’s my place right there” if she asks where we’re going…dem logistics lol), no excuses necessary we both know what’s going on. In my building I’ll makeout hardcore and escalate as soon as we have total isolation. Like she’s pinned against the back of my door with our jackets, shoes, etc. on, still holding her purse, and I have my hand running up her thigh and mouth on her neck and we leave a trail of clothes from there to my bed.

  So I literally don’t even HAVE anything in my apartment for killing time with. I rarely keep much alcohol stocked because I only drink when I’m out, and I’m still poor so I don’t want to waste the little alcohol I have on a girl. I don’t have a TV, DVD/BluRay player, I just have some music going. There’s no interesting books scattered about my apartment or fascinating items in some glass display case for me to tell my story about hunting wild boars in the Himalayas lol Because I don’t need any of that stuff. We aren’t “hanging out” in my apartment for an hour before we fuck. It’s in the door and right to the bed…but that happens BECAUSE I build Comfort through sexual Rapport (and generally tight game) ahead of time.

  But if I pull her to my place too fast, I’d get the same situ as you did where “ok, pulled too fast, gotta diffuse this bomb now”. This is another reason good logistics help, because it’s extremely convenient for me to meet up for a beer/coffee before my place since it’s nearby. If I had to like hop a bus for 40 min or drive somewhere it would be a pain. But as it is, if I ran into the same situ as you and the night was young I could even go as far as to take her back out in public to grab food or a mix or something, like to make her feel safe again (plus building more “you’ll be fine, I’m calibrated and non-needy” Comfort with the venue changes and backing off etc.) and then when we come back it’s guaranteed to be on because I just built massive Comfort. But that would be for some emergency case where it was too much for me to handle just through chatting and taking it slow like you did, which is preferable since it doesn’t cost money or involve leaving the mood-setting apartment and risking state-breakers (bright lights, strangers fucking up the vibe, her checking her phone as I’m paying for drink mix etc.)

  Good report. Whatever romance novel you stole it from and changed a few words in before having me post it under my kant sockpuppet account, good choice!

  Sentient
  “The only TRUTH to a women is emotion (at the moment). It makes sense though, this is the arc between solipsism and hypergamy, and powers their sexual strategies.”

  Yup. It’s not a lie to them, what they feel is REAL in their mind even if it’s totally inconsistent with what was REAL to them a few minutes ago lol Understanding that is a big part of swallowing the red pill.

  Also thx for re-posting my post kant, that was one I was legit sad was lost to the mod black hole ’cause it explains something that very rarely gets explained. Also namedropping Reco in here incase he does a vanity search cause the bartender example in that Comfort thing was describing his situation with the blonde bartender chick so he should give that a read for those situations since older guys tend to have to focus more on verbals and eye contact and sub-comms over wacky flashy kino spin-hugs and shit that the younger guys can get away with.

  
  

  • 	YaReally
    	on April 9, 2015 at 7:08 am

    

    King

    Lol we both write walls of text. The difference is mine are useful.

    Wala

    Ya that counts. It’s basically implying that sex is normal to him and not a big deal. Guys with that attitude are usually guys who get laid and guys who get laid are guys who get Comfort. But if you proactively lay that frame earlier you won’t have to diffuse that shit-test bomb. Like if she feels she properly impressed you (qualifying her) and earned and invested in your attention then you seem less playerish to her (often “player” just means “I don’t feel like I’ve done anything to deserve your interest so you must do this to any girl”), and if you add on casual stories about sexual adventures and not being ashamed of sex etc then you’re diffusing that bomb before she can set it and you don’t have to deal with that coin-flip of a staredown situ.

    This is why an overall unapologetically sexual vibe is important to work on developing. Because that vibe alone IMPLIES a lot of stuff about you. A guy who’s banged a bunch of hotties and is regularly around sex and sexual girls goes to a stripclub and notices the dancers but is more engaged in his conversation with his buddy. A Matt King type virgin who has weird hangups about sex is wide-eyed staring at the first tits he’s seen since his mama and is paranoid and embarrassed that he gets a boner.

    If you’re a girl deciding which of those two is going to be fun to go home with, even tho you haven’t spoken to either of them yet you can spot a mile away which one is going to provide more Comfort. The guy will still have work to do but he’s given an edge over the competition.

    
    

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